A Soul for Vengeance (29 page)

“It should take the Gravarian forces ten days to reach Trivinus once they land, so I’ll have them time their arrival at the same time.” She dashed out the door and managed to get several strides out of Bynn’s home before Kell caught her.

“And one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“I meant what I said about tonight.”

Her heart rattled against her ribs. “And you need to be more careful, especially in front of my brother.”

“I can’t keep playing this game forever, Zara.” His eyes swept over her body from her hair to her boots and back again. “Now that we’ve settled on our final battle plan, I want to settle a few more things.”

She licked her lips, her mouth drier than usual. “You’re walking a very fine line, Kell, and I don’t want to be the one who tips you into failure.”

“I’m not worried about that. If anything, you’ve been the secret to my success.”

The ache along her scars reminded her that if they continued, she’d ultimately lead him to failure. “Thank you, Kell. Now, I must send out the messengers while there’s still daylight.”

“Tonight.” It was an order, not a request, coming from a man who’d grown into everything a king should be.

And it terrified her.

****

Zara crept along the swinging bridge, her feet moving forward despite her mind ordering them to stop.
I’m a fool for doing this. I should stop now before I ruin everything
.

But she’d become like the kokalla addicts that feared escaping from their Thallian masters. Once she’d tasted Kell, spent one night in his arms, she’d craved more. And she’d do anything for her next dose, even risk unraveling her brother’s best laid plans and jeopardizing the future of the kingdom.

I should turn back now.

Her body didn’t listen. She slipped into his room as she’d done dozens of nights before and tiptoed to his bed.

Only tonight, Kell wasn’t sleeping. He grabbed her and pulled her into his bed, kicking off the thick, fur-lined cloak he’d used to cover up the lit lantern. Light flooded the room, and Zara found herself looking up into Kell’s hungry eyes. “No more games, Zara.”

Panic pawed at her throat. “Please, put out the lantern, and I’ll answer any question you want.”

“No, I want to see your face tonight as you answer my questions, and as I make love to you.” He slid his hands up her arms, pinning her wrists to the pillow. “I’ll start with my first question. Why do you want the lights out?”

“I don’t want anyone to catch us.”

“And I told you that doesn’t matter to me. I’d like for us to get caught. Then Bynn would be forced to accept my proposal to marry you.”

Her breath evaporated. “You’ve asked him for my hand?”

Kell’s grip loosened, and his expression softened. “No, not yet. I wanted to ask you first.”

Pain spilled into her veins, starting at her heart and tearing into every inch of her being. If things had been different, if the Thallians hadn’t rendered her useless to be the kind of wife Kell needed, she would’ve accepted his proposal without hesitation. Instead, she was forced to say, “No, Kell, you don’t want me for a wife.”

Disbelief slackened a mouth that had just been curled up into a warm smile. He sat back on his knees, still straddling her, but releasing her wrists so she could pull the covers up over her thin shift and the scars that lay beneath it. “Why not?”

She closed her eyes and curled to the side, unwilling to witness the pain she was about to cause him. “I’m not fit to become your wife.”

“Damn it, don’t give me these vague answers, Zara. I demand to know why—” His words froze as he rolled her back over and the sheet fell away from her chest, exposing the top of the long scar that ran from the center of her breasts to the bottom of her abdomen. His fingers grazed the gnarled rope of flesh. “What happened here?”

Humiliation washed over her like a cauldron of steaming water. Up until now, she’d managed to hide her scars from him under the dark cloak of night and haze of desire. Now, she had neither to distract him. She tried to cover the scar up, crossing her arms over her chest, only to have him pry her wrists apart and pin them back on the pillow. He settled his weight on her to keep her in place. The harder she struggled, the more he tightened his grip on her. She was his prisoner, her darkest secrets coming to light, and there was no escaping.

At last, she gave in and looked at him. Concern filled his eyes, making the green flecks in them appeared brighter than fresh spring grass. “Please,” he said, his voice deep and cracking with emotion, “tell me what happened to you.”

Her head swam. Not only would her confession probably earn his dismissal, but it would also stir up memories of the day she longed to forget. Her saliva grew bitter, choking her mouth. All the pain, the horror, the heartbreak—they slammed into her with such force that tears sprang from the corners of her eyes. Her heart beat in stuttered increments as she fought to stay in control and not slip back into that time and place where everything changed.

She wrestled with her emotions, gaining strength with each steadying breath. “I was wounded by the Thallians when they invaded my father’s home,” she managed to whisper.

“And is this the reason why you’ve always come to me after I put out my light, why you refused to remove your shift when we were together?”

She squeezed her eyes tighter and nodded.

His weight eased off her, but his knees still squeezed her hips, keeping her there in his bed. He fumbled with the ties on the top of her shift, opening the neckline.

Her muscles jerked taut, and her eyes snapped open. Wasn’t it enough to know that she didn’t want him seeing her scars? She caught his fingers. “No, please don’t.”

He pushed her hands away and continued with unlacing the top of her shift, his brows lowered with fierce determination. The thin material fell away from her shoulders, exposing the entire length of the scar that stretched from her breasts to well below her navel. When he couldn’t open it any more, he tugged at the material, ripping it in his impatience, leaving her completely naked and exposed.

“Sweet Lady Moon, I had no idea.” He traced the path the Thallian sword had taken through her flesh. “How did you survive?”

She laughed to cover up the sound of her sob. “Through sheer stubbornness, I think.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Once again, she tried to cover up, only to be thwarted by him. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. “Are you finished ogling my disfiguration yet?”

He turned his attention from the mangled flesh of her stomach to her face. A line creased the place between his brows, and the corners of his mouth pulled downward. “Zara, I—”

“Spare me your pity, Kell.” She managed to prop up on her elbows, the new angle obscuring her face and the tears that trickled down her cheeks from him. “I can see my wounds disgust you like I knew they would, so can I please leave now?”

“No.” He clenched his thighs around her hips until she flopped back down on the bed. “You’re not going anywhere until I’m finished with you.”

Her stomach took a sickening turn, twisting in on itself as Kell continued to glide his fingers along her scars.
Sweet Lady Moon, is he determined to rip through my heart and leave it in the same condition the Thallians left my body?
“What more do you want from me?”

“This.” He bent his head and pressed his lips to the place where her scar started between her breasts.

Her heart skipped a beat before resuming its frantic pace, although for an entirely different reason now. Inch after inch, he traveled the length of her scar, peppering it with the gentlest of kisses.

A new sensation replaced her embarrassment, one that left her warm and wanted. Instead of tossing her out of his bed for being disfigured, he treated her as though she were as delicate as an egg’s shell. Instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, he revered her flesh as though it was a shrine dedicated to the Lady Moon herself. Instead of making her feel unwanted for being unable to bear children, he continued lower past her scars and sent her over the edge of ecstasy.

When her vision came back into focus afterwards, he was leaning over her with a goofy grin on his face. “Do you know how beautiful you are right now?”

“Are you mocking me?”

He shook his head and ran his knuckles along her cheek. “Did you truly think I would see only your scars and nothing else?”

A new type of shame washed over her. She’d misjudged him—badly. Which, of course, made her fall that much more in love with him.

“Your scars make you all the more precious to me because they remind me of how you fought back, how you refused to give up, how you saved me when I needed you the most.” He kissed her, slow and easy but with enough passion to make her toes curl. “And that makes you the most beautiful woman in the world as far as I’m concerned.”

Her heart welled up with so much emotion that it filled her chest to the bursting point and slipped out from her lips. “I love you, Kell.”

“I love you, too, Zara.”

He made love to her that night slowly with the lights on, their eyes exploring each other as much as their hands did, forming a connection between them as they reached their climaxes and fell into each other’s arms in exhaustion when they were done. Kell slipped easily into slumber, but Zara stayed awake, wrestling with the revelations of the night.

Kell loved her.

Kell wanted to marry her.

Kell’s line would die with him if he did, leaving the kingdom without an heir.

For that reason, she slipped out of his bed while he slept and returned to her room to gather her store of kokalla. She scribbled a small note explaining why she left the camp in the middle of the night, asking Kell’s forgiveness for what she was about to do. It was time to put her plan into action. She’d take out the Triumvirate and help restore Kell to the throne.

And maybe, in time, he’d forgive her for sacrificing herself in the process.

Chapter 24

Once again, Kell awoke to an empty bed. That was nothing new.

The contented hum in his chest was.

After last night, he refused to keep his feelings for Zara a secret anymore. He would come clean to Bynn and ask his best friend for permission to marry her. The idea made him chuckle as he dressed. He, the last Prince of Ranello and future King, was going to beg a duke for his sister’s hand. But for her, he’d get down on both his knees and promise Bynn anything he wanted short of his crown.

Thankfully, he didn’t foresee such desperate measures. He and Bynn had been friends for as long as he could remember. With the marriage, they’d become brothers, forming an alliance cemented with blood as well as their friendship.

By the time he found Bynn, however, he got swept up in a dizzying world of letters and dispatches, in hustled preparations for battle, in an endless stream of questions that all required an answer from him. The sun had slipped below the tree line before he had a moment alone with his friend. He took a sip of the sour wine to steel his confidence. “Bynn, may I speak to you about Zara?”

“I was just going to ask you about her. Have you seen her today?”

He squirmed. If by today, he meant the wee hours of the night, then yes, he’d seen her. “No, I haven’t.”

“Neither have I.” He went to the window and looked toward her room. “It’s not like her to refrain from sticking her nose into our business.”

“Don’t belittle her contributions, Bynn.”

“Fine, I won’t, but I’ll also add that I’m worried about her taking on more than she should. For example, I don’t want her coming to Trivinus with us.”

“And what about her contacts in the city?”

Bynn came back to warm his hands over the brazier across from Kell. “If the Thallians see our armies marching toward the city, do you think we’ll be able to exchange messages with them?”

“You forget about the tunnels under the palace.”

“As if I can forget.” His friend shivered. “I hated waiting in the dark for hours that night,” he said, referring to the night they’d caught Gandor trying to turn Arden over to the necromancer.

“You’re exaggerating. It was an hour at the most.”

“Still, I’d be willing to navigate them again if it meant we’d have access to the palace. Too bad Arden collapsed them when she battled Sulaino.” He rubbed his hands, glancing over his shoulder to the window again. “I wonder if the river tunnel survived, though. I could see Zara coming up with some crazy plan to infiltrate the palace that way.”

“It would have to be a small group, though. The guards along the wall would easily spot anything larger than a few people.” He set his glass aside and took a deep breath. “Now, back to Zara—”

A knock interrupted him. Bynn went to the door and opened it to find Bianca standing there. She held out a piece of paper. “Zara asked me to give this to you after sunset.”

She scurried off as though the paper might explode any second now.

Bynn broke the seal and read the contents. His face paled at first, then grew mottled as he continued. By the time he reached the end, the veins in his neck pulsated. “What did you do to her?”

“What do you mean?” Kell snatched the letter from his friend and scanned the elegant writing.

Dear Bynn,

After giving much thought to our current situation, I’ve decided it would be in everyone’s best interest if I carried out my plan as designed. I’ll try to time my blow to the Triumvirate as the troops are scheduled to arrive at Trivinus. Please give my apologies to Kell and explain to him why it would never work between us. I hope you both will forgive me.

Zara
.

“What aren’t you telling me?” he asked, his stomach dropping.

Bynn’s nostrils flared. “You first.”

“I believe that as the prince, I take precedence over you.”

“And I believe that since you’ve somehow done something that pushed Zara into this suicide mission, I deserve an answer first.” He snatched the letter back and crumpled it in his fist. “What is going on between you two?”