A Street Girl Named Desire: A Novel (10 page)

“You want something to eat?” she asked Tiah, as the frightened girls pressed into her chest exhaled.

Tiah was also a ward of the state, with no guardian in the picture. Part of the reason for that was because the authorities couldn't find her. Tiah had disappeared from the face of the earth as far as most of her state caretakers knew. Minimal effort was put forth to find her, because most social workers' case files overwhelmed them. They had chalked Tiah up to just another set of numbers that needed to be entered into a database. There were codes for everything, even missing children. They knew that she would
turn up again, someday, and become an active case again. Until that day, they had to write her off and go on to the other piles of folders that had overtaken their desks. Hattie Mae was determined that this child would not be a case closed.

Hattie Mae knew that it was God's will to place Tiah in her life, just like it had been His will to bring Desire to her. She knew that her age was an issue and reached out once again to her old friend Judge Ross for a favor. The women had not forgotten the horrible incident that they both had been a part of correcting. They had not forgotten the role they played in truly rescuing Desire from what would have been certain death had she stayed with Nika when she was a baby. And once again, Judge Ross expedited the case and granted Hattie Mae total guardianship of another true unfortunate—Tiah. That same day, Desire asked and was granted that her name be changed legally from Desire Mitchell to Desire Evans. Tiah could not believe what was happening. Everything had happened so fast, it was as if she were dreaming. One day her world revolved around running from authorities, stealing to keep money in her pocket and finding a place to crash for the night and then transformed into having a foster mother and foster sister, going back to school and having a stable place to live. Almost overnight, her confidence began to build, and she had a positive outlook for the first time since she could remember. She had met a girl who had promised simply to teach her how to steal to survive, and now that girl had given her a home. She was attached to Desire like a puppy attached to its new owner.

As Desire lay in bed on the eve of becoming an Evans, she repeated the name over and over again in her mind. Suddenly, she heard a silent whimper coming from Tiah's bed.

Desire sat up and asked, “Tiah, you all right?”

Tiah didn't answer, so Desire rose from her bed and approached her and asked again, “Tiah, you okay? Why you crying?”

Wiping her eyes, Tiah said she was okay Desire sat down next to her on her bed and said, “Tiah, if you ain't happy here right now, it's all right, but trust me, you gonna get used to it ….”

Tiah wiped her eyes again and said, “Naw, it's nothing like that, I guess I'm crying 'cause I'm happy”

Desire stared at her and smiled. Tiah continued, “Desire, you was the only one that showed me love out there on them streets.” Tiah strained for the words. “And then … then … when you got a home, you ain't forget about me, you came and got me, and now I got a home, a real home with a real foster mother and. ….”

Tiah tried to fight back the tears, but she lost.

“Now I have a real, real foster sister in you, Desire …” Tiah broke down. “I … I don't ever know how to thank you ….”

Tears fell from Desire's eyes as she hugged Tiah, telling her she didn't have to say any more.

“I love you, Desire, you my real foster sister,” Tiah cried.

Desire raised Tiah's wet chin, squared her face toward Tiah's eyes and said, “Listen to me, we ain't foster sisters, we
sisters
. You hear me? Sisters, and we always gonna be together.”

Through her tears, Tiah looked into Desire's eyes and asked, “For real, Desire?”

“For real!” Desire nodded as they embraced.

T
his is the point in the story when most people want to kid themselves into believing that the happy ending has arrived. This is the point in the story where it should have ended. But it didn't. This is no neat happy ending, for the story continued, because the forces that created them had not gone anywhere. The girl had been pulled out of the streets, but the streets were still there. And the streets did not like to give up the ones that it had claimed as their own. The bustling, historical and sometimes beautiful Harlem streets that were finally starting to attract tourism and businesses and middle-class people were not ready to give up on the task of creating chaos, sadness and confusion. Change didn't happen as fast as the rest of the world wanted to believe it could. The people, places and unfortunate conditions that had created the tragedy that was the girl's birth were still there—only they became more hidden. In new buildings being erected in vacant lots that had been havens for crack addicts, behind sparkling new facades that were meant to attract renters with higher incomes, on streets where new businesses were springing up faster than the people who lived around them could make
the money to shop inside of them. These streets were brand-new to some, but old to many. No matter how much the look of the streets and the price to stay on them changed, there were those who would never forget what the streets had been and done to them. There were memories on those streets that newcomers did not see and papers did not report. There was sadness and anger on these streets that had made people want to tear them off the Island of Manhattan. And the taste of the streets was a hard one for those they had conquered to spit out.

T
hanks to Hattie Mae, Desire and Tiah were active members of the youth Bible study classes, which met weekly, and they had given up on running with pickpocket and boosting gangs. They had lost the urge to mingle with boys who tried to convince them to have sex and girls who were too insecure to not be jealous of every other female who crossed their paths. The world Hattie Mae created for them was like a new one. In addition to Bible study classes, Desire and Tiah both joined the junior choir. They grew to love singing the gospel and both had magnificent voices. Every week, on Sunday the church would rotate between the adult gospel choir and the junior group. Desire developed such a passion
for singing that it took over her soul. She decided then and there that it was possible she could become a singer.

The knowledge of the circumstances of her birth had faded somewhat from her memory. She had decided not to let her past get her down. She worked hard to learn singing techniques even though she had a natural talent. She dreamed of being lead singer of not only the junior choir, but the adult choir as well. However, something, or someone, always stood in her way. That someone was a girl named Chanel, who was the same age as Desire. Desire knew she could sing better than Chanel but felt that because Chanel's uncle was a deacon in the church, Chanel was given preferential treatment. Chanel had it all: voice, cute looks and she had been a singer for most of her young life. Even her name was associated with everything Desire had dreamed of being: rich, respected and prized. Tiah paid the girl no mind. But whenever Desire looked at Chanel, who was given the most attention and praise of all the young singers, she felt an uncontrollable flood of envy. In her mind, Chanel became an obstacle to her success, just like the horrible foster homes and mean streets had been. Desire knew that almost everything she had gotten in her life before Hattie Mae, she'd had to fight for. And she was ready to fight for the same praise and recognition that was showered on Chanel each week. If she was given just one chance at lead, Desire would prove to everyone that she deserved it. And she planned on doing just that.

Setting her plans in motion, she recruited Carvelas Vera, a virtuoso pianist who played for the entire congregation. Carvelas was also in the choir and attended Desire's school. From the moment they had officially met at the first choir practice Desire and
Tiah had attended, Carvelas had a crush on her. Desire didn't pay the small, funny-looking boy with the quiet presence any mind. He was nothing like the suited-up, loudmouthed and aggressive boys on the streets, the ones who normally caught Desire's attention. Carvelas was different. He talked to her with respect. His eyes didn't seem to bore holes through her clothes. He didn't treat her like she should bow down to him. Although Desire didn't think they could ever be any more than friends, she decided to at least allow a friendship. It was Tiah who had first pointed out that Carvelas might have other things on his mind. One night in choir practice, she passed Desire a note scribbled onto an old church program.

“Carvelas keep looking over here at you,” it said. Desire muffled a giggle as she read it. She looked over at Carvelas, and sure enough, he quickly turned his eyes away as soon as she looked.

“I don't know what he looking over here for,” she wrote back to Tiah, being careful to be as inconspicuous as possible so that no one would notice.

“He looking over here 'cause he want to do it to you!” was what Tiah wrote, before placing the program in Desire's lap as soon as the director turned his back. Desire laughed out loud. Tiah giggled, and everyone looked over at them.

“What y'all laughing at?” Chanel demanded to know. She didn't like the fact that she was not the center of their attention, as she was about to begin practicing her latest solo.

“None of your nosy business,” Desire snapped back. Carvelas looked intrigued by Desire's fiery reply. He put his head down and pretended to be shuffling the music score in front of him.

“Well, y'all need to be paying attention,” Chanel commanded.
She was a prima donna who thought she had the right, even over the director of the choir, to correct them.

“You don't need to be telling us what to do.” Desire stood up and the program fell from her lap. Tiah quickly picked it up so no one would find it. Desire and Chanel stared each other down, both of them with hands on their widening hips.

“You just mad 'cause we ain't falling all over the floor over you, like the rest of these stupid folks,” Desire said.

“Who you callin stupid?” one of the other high-school-aged choir girls asked.

“You, all of y all,” Chanel said, wanting everyone to turn on the new enemy who had turned on her.

“You the one that's stupid,” Desire said. Tiah grabbed her by the hand and tried to pull her back into her seat, but Desire was not going to budge. The choir director finally became aware of the insurrection. He walked in front of the podium where Chanel had been preparing to show off once again.

“Is there a problem, ladies?” he asked.

“Not yet,” Desire said. She sat back in her seat and avoided the glare of Chanel and the others. She became even more determined in that moment to do what she knew she needed to do. And the first thing that needed to be done was a private conversation with Carvelas. It happened while everybody was packing up, ready to burst out of the church and onto the streets.

“Hey,” she said to him, innocently, as he packed away his music.

“Hey,” he said back, avoiding her eyes.

“I hope you don't think I'm crazy 'cause I was snapping at Chanel,” Desire said.

“Well, Chanel can kind of get on your nerves,” he confessed. They both laughed.

“And she can't even really sing that great,” Desire said. Tiah came running into the church to let Desire know Hattie Mae was outside waiting for them. Hattie Mae wanted to take the girls to Sylvia's soul food restaurant for dinner.

“Tell Grandma I'll be just a minute,” Desire said. She needed to set her scheme in motion, but she wasn't about to miss out on some macaroni and cheese and fried chicken from Sylvia's.

“You know how she get when she ready to go,” Tiah warned.

“I know Hattie Mae,” Desire said. “Known her longer than you have. She'll wait.” Desire turned back to Carvelas as Tiah left them alone.

“You really don't think she can sing?” Carvelas asked. He was grateful to be getting some attention. What would make Desire hold up dinner just to talk to him? Desire knew her tactic of making him feel special was working.

“I ain't saying she can't sing,” Desire continued. “I'm just saying some of us can sing too, so why she gotta get all the attention?”