A Taylor-Made Life (11 page)

“If you could see how much we’d love
him and take care of him—”

“I said
no
. You and your
daughter need to grasp the concept of that word.” He closed his
eyes. A tremor rolled over him. “I should’ve never agreed to any of
this.”

“But I thought you cared for Taylor.
You bought her a ring.”

“I should have Dr. Harmon’s job for
the information he revealed.”

All the blood drained from her face.
“You wouldn’t do that, would you? Dr. Harmon is a good man. He
makes a difference in so many lives. He just assumed…”

“Yes, he did. You will never speak of
this to me or
anyone
. If you do, I’ll take legal action
against Dr. Harmon. I’ll go away, and you and your family will
never see me again.”

She dropped her gaze and
nodded.

He hoped the hardness in his tone left
little doubt of his sincerity.

I stretched out on the vinyl hospital
lounger that converted into a bed. Well, bed was a pretty loose
term in this instance. If you considered a bed any semi-padded
surface where you could lay flat, then it fit the bill.

I lit the digital display on my phone.
Three a.m.

Gavin slept soundly in the bed next to
me, his soft breathing a relief to my frazzled, sleep-deprived
body. He’d had a rough first night and had seemed distant the last
two days, never smiling or laughing. I couldn’t even get him riled
up with computer game trash talk. I wanted to wrap my arms around
him and solve all his problems. Just like Mom did for me, but he
wouldn’t let me. At least not enough to make a
difference.

Mom had stayed the evening before
while I left to get some rest in a real bed. I didn’t want to but I
couldn’t function without sleep. And I needed to function. Gavin
needed me to function. His counts were still low but improving
every day. Apparently, a clinical trial he’d done had severe side
effects that manifested in loss of consciousness under extreme
stress. I frowned. I guess kissing me pushed him over the
edge.

The memory of our kiss played through
my mind. I didn’t put up much of a fight to keep it out. Thoughts
of his warm lips covering mine made me dizzy drunk, and a funny,
tingling sensation kept pulsing low in my belly. My body heated
with a rush of blood. Was I turned on? It sure seemed like it. A
smile curved my lips.

If he would only open up to me. I knew
he wanted to but wouldn’t allow himself. A gooey happiness poured
over me as I watched him sleep, and hope for some kind of a future
kept infiltrating my head.

I spent the next couple of hours
trying to push hormone-fueled images from my mind and trying to get
comfortable on the frigid, fake-leather chair.

Disgusted, I finally rose around five
o’clock and shuffled down the hall in my fuzzy slippers for some
coffee and to check on Rachel who was resting peacefully. When I
returned, Gavin was sitting on the side of the bed, his face pale
and pained.

I froze. “Hey, what’re you
doing?”

“I need to go pee.”

He looked a little disoriented and he
wasn’t thinking clearly. “No you don’t, sweetheart. They have a
catheter in.”

He winced, but I wasn’t sure what
caused him discomfort, the embarrassment or just the thought
someone stuck a tube up a one-way street in a very delicate part of
town.

His blue-green eyes, more green than
blue this morning, met mine but still seemed unsettled. “This isn’t
very romantic, is it?”

I shrugged in a no-big-deal way, but
the fact he was talking to me again made my heart rate stumble.
Good thing I wasn’t on the monitors. “According to you, we aren’t
having a romance. So you don’t have to impress someone you don’t
want, right?” I sat next to him on the bed and tried to straighten
his Eighties-Rocker hair with my fingers.

“Taylor, I never said I didn’t want
you.”

“You didn’t?” I raised my hairless
eyebrows as I continued to rake his head with my fingers and wasn’t
about to stop unless he made me. “Then what did you say, because
now I’m confused.”

“I’m supposed to be your mentor. I
doubt the Cancer Survivor Mentor Program would look kindly on
romantic intentions from me because of your age.”

“My age. Right.” I blew out my
frustration in a raspberry. We were both at death’s door. Couldn’t
society make a concession? “Time has been against me for a while
now. I guess it wouldn’t do any good to tell you that I’ll be
eighteen in two weeks, and can legally marry without my parent’s
permission.” My face turned into a Bunsen burner, but I plunged
forward anyway. “If you just want to have sex, I’m legal now—as
long as we’re in Texas.”

“Matrons of the Havens
,
Taylor.” He slapped his chest in a mock heart attack, but according
to his monitors, his heart rate had jumped…a lot. “What’re you
saying? I’m in the hospital already. Are you trying to kill
me?”

I lowered my gaze and grinned. “I did
a little research.”

“Ugh.” He dropped his head in his
hands. “I don’t know right from wrong anymore. My lines are
blurred.” He sobered. “And I can’t think about this
now.”

A little twinge of guilt hit me. It
wasn’t fair to go at him full-force in his weakened state. “Then
don’t. I’m here for as long as you want me. However you want me.
Friend, lover, wife, footrest, computer gamer, whatever. I’m
yours.” I opened my arms wide.

His forehead creased. “You give
yourself too freely.”

“It’s all I have to give, and I want
to give you something.”

“Why? What is it about me that’s so
special?”

I narrowed my eyes in teasing
assessment. “I’ve been wondering that same question myself. I don’t
know. Maybe I feel sorry for all the times I beat you at your own
game.”

He shot me a sidelong glance. “Not
helping.”

I giggled.

My laughter faded and a seriousness I
hadn’t expected bubbled up from my chest. “All I know is,
everything inside me reaches out to you. So I’ll give you me in
whatever way makes you happy.” I laid a hand on either side of his
face. Tears stung my eyes. “Because I love you, Gavin
Taylor.”

Oh pickles! Why had I said that? I’d
gone bat-ass crazy. My face flamed and embarrassment sank into my
bones. Too bad it wasn’t a marrow match. My brain never had been
able to keep pace with my mouth. That was why I’d never be a public
speaker.

His eyes widened. He stared in stunned
silence for a moment as if he couldn’t process her words. Maybe he
was too doped up to remember she’d just blathered on about loving
him.

Jeez, Tay.

Faux pas couldn’t come close to
covering the blunder.

But he reached out and encircled my
waist and pulled me up on the bed next to him. Warmth and comfort
flooded me. Not sure if he was in big brother mode or not, I’d take
it, whatever it was. I softly clung to him as he lay back on the
bed, and held me against his chest. Snuggling up next to him,
careful not to disturb any tubes, I fell asleep.

* * * *

Gavin woke to an empty bed. Had he
dreamed that Taylor slept beside him? He raised his head and looked
around the room. It was empty too. His pulse began to thud, but the
light from the bathroom and the sound of running water reassured
him. He wasn’t alone. His head hurt with an acute need for
caffeine, and his lower regions ached from morning stiffness and
the catheter invasion.
Appolyon Dragons
, he hated the
fucking hospital.

His heart ached with how rotten he’d
acted the past couple of days. Not only had he been unforgivably
harsh with Maureen, he’d withdrawn from Taylor. The feel of her
pressed against him this morning clung to his memory, and the
thought of her soft kiss from the other night set his body monitors
chirping.

I love you.
Her words washed
over him like the
Wizards’ Elixir,
and he drank them in,
replaying them over and over in his mind. No one had sincerely
loved him in a very long time. If they ever had.

Collapsing on Taylor’s porch had been
unexpected and hearing her declaration a surprise. But learning
their child could save her life was…too much. He scrubbed his face
with his hands.

A baby was not a responsibility he
could endure in his last days. With his family history, it wasn’t
in him to agree to father a child, even if it would be someone’s
savior. As much as he cared for Taylor and her family, he barely
knew these people and was in no condition to play God. He couldn’t
agree to have a child to save a seventeen-year-old girl any more
than he could agree to marry her.

He still wasn’t sure why he’d frozen
his sperm. The doctors said,
that’s what you do if you ever want
to have children.
But he hadn’t wanted any.

To save Taylor’s life would be a good
thing, but to bring a baby into the world he was shortly leaving
seemed to negate the good. A child he’d never live to see ran
through his mind, and his breath quickened. His knee-jerk reaction
had been out of self-preservation, and he hated how he’d threatened
Maureen. But the fact remained: he couldn’t bring a little life
into this world then leave it behind. Wasn’t that what his parents
had done?

Still, both Taylor and Maureen stuck
by his side the last three days. It didn’t make sense. When he
hadn’t given them what they wanted, why hadn’t they abandoned him?
That was what the others always did. As soon as they found out he
wasn’t buying what they were selling, they left. But even after
he’d been so awful, Maureen had actually stayed the night and cared
for him like his own mother might’ve. Like his own mother
should’ve.

Maureen never mentioned the incident
and carried on as if nothing had happened. And Taylor. Sweet
Taylor. The dark circles under her eyes and her pale complexion
reminded him she was in no condition to care for him. Yet here she
was.

His shoulders sagged in relief. Thank
God they hadn’t left him. Having their company had stirred a need
in him he’d suppressed for years—and he did need them—as much as it
chafed him to admit it. When he’d awakened early this morning and
couldn’t find Taylor, panic shot through his heart like a bolt of
lightning. He was about to go searching for her when she’d bounced
in with her cup of coffee and his peace of mind.

“Did I wake you?” Taylor stepped out
of the bath, wiping her hands with a paper towel. She
dimpled.

He shook his head. Sweetness
incarnate.

She walked around and sat on the bed
next to him. “Do you need anything?”

“A cup of coffee and maybe a hug.” He
shouldn’t indulge in touching her. That only sent the wrong
message, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to be near her.
Hell, he wanted to kiss her again. His monitor beeped. Those
thoughts were definitely off limits, if he didn’t want the nurse to
come running.

“I think we can handle that.” She slid
her arms around him and squeezed. Her soft curves pressed against
his chest, warming him to his toes that curled and flexed in
pleasure.

After a cup of coffee and a small
breakfast, Gavin actually felt human again. Dr. Harmon had followed
up with him and agreed to let him go home. Rick sent the company
jet to a small airport north of Dallas. He’d be back in San
Francisco by this evening, but neither relief nor happiness filled
him at the thought of going home. Taylor’s eyes had glistened as he
told her, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she nodded and
smiled. Then she’d left the room. That had been two hours ago, and
she hadn’t returned.
Shit.
He was dressed and would soon be
ready to go. How could he leave without saying goodbye?

He straightened the collar of his
shirt as thoughts whirled through his mind. What harm could it do
to bring her with him? Gut-wrenching heartbreak, that’s what—for
both of them. He was dying. What would building a relationship
accomplish? He massaged his temples. That was exactly what he’d
wanted, why he’d paid Marissa Owen to find him someone. But what if
Taylor died first? That thought shot terror through him, because
only in his heart could he admit he cared for her.

A thin nurse with dark hair strolled
in with his release papers. “Okay, Mr. Taylor, we have you all set.
Sign these, and you’re ready to go.”

He took the forms and filled them
out.

She handed him his copies. “Who’s
taking you home?”

“I guess I’ll call a—”

“I am.”

Taylor stood in the doorway in short
pants and a tight little T-shirt. She looked like a sweet treat
waiting to be devoured. Red and swollen, her eyes glistened with
recent tears, which made him want to kick his own ass.

The nurse smiled. “All right then.
Call us if you need us. I’ll send the aide in with a
wheelie.”

Taylor sauntered into the room and
smiled weakly. “You ready to go?”

He nodded, and his gut
twisted.

“Sorry it took me so long. I went to
get your suitcase. Dad picked it up from your hotel along with the
final bill. So I took the chance to freshen up.” She fanned her
hand in front of her nose. “I was a little rank.”