A Texan's Promise (20 page)

"Decent's good."

Lacy nodded. "Decent men have been few and far between in my life. Clayton, I don't need excitement. I don't even need romance. I just want security and companionship," she said softly. "Anyway. One or two of 'em are looking for a partner.They've got kids and cows and goats to take care of and they need help."

The image of Lacy on a milking stool in a dusty barn made him smile. "I never fancied you milking a cow or wiping noses."

Lacy shrugged. "I know how to do those things; I've just chosen not to do them. But now I'm thinking caring for cows and kids is a small price to pay for the chance to walk into a shop and not feel a dozen hard stares at my back. Or worse, being asked to leave the premises. I'm thinking it's time I became respectable."

Longing entered her eyes, longing so strong and deep that Clayton felt as if he was peering into the deepest recesses of her soul. "I know God will forgive my sins," she whispered. "I just want to be able to walk in a church and know that the pastor will, too."

"If the pastor is the man of God he says he is, he will."

"Maybe."

"I'm right." Reaching out, Clayton squeezed her hand."Good luck to you, Lace. I mean that."

"Thank you." A look of panic filled her gaze as she clapped her hands. "Oh my goodness, I almost forgot. I saw Price Venture, Clayton."

The news made him feel like the whole world had just turned on its side. "When?"

She bit her lip. "About three weeks ago. Not long after you and your wife left."

"What happened?"

She shook her head. "That Price Venture, he was a piece of work, I'll tell you that. He chased skirts and tried to drink the whole city out of whiskey."

"Did he ask about Vanessa?"

"I'm getting to that." She motioned for Clayton to sit down, and did the same. "I went and knocked on Miles's door."

"Miles?"

"Yep." She cast him a sideways look. "He's not so bad, Clayton."

"He was never real good. What did you tell him?"

"We devised a plan. . . . I had an old Confederate brass button, much like the one you had on your dress uniform. I told him to pass on to his stepfather that it was yours and that you and his sister were headed toward Kansas."

"I doubt he bought that."

"I figured it didn't really matter if he did or not. Thought it might buy you some time." She shrugged. "Maybe it did. That boy—Miles—I think he was doing his best."

Just remembering Miles's weakness the night that he and Vanessa left made Clayton's skin crawl. "His best isn't worth much."

"This time, I think it might of been," she said softly.Fingering her demure dress, she whispered. "Sometimes we all need second chances, Clayton."

Her words, so true, caught him off guard. "I suppose you're right. Perhaps I've been too harsh where he's concerned."

"I know I'm right." Standing up again, she patted his arm."So, Captain Proffitt, what about you? Why are you here in the Springs? I thought you and that sweet wife of yours were going to be staying with Corrine."

"I've got some things I need to do first. There's a job out in Nebraska I think I'm going to take. The town of Benson needs a sheriff."

"You thinking about handling a gun again?"

"This time it's for the right reasons," he said, wondering for the first time if he'd been a fool to fight so long and hard for a lost cause.

Though Lacy's eyes filled with concern, she merely shrugged. "Perhaps," she murmured. "Mrs. Proffitt's not up in a room, is she?"

"No. She's with Corrine."

"Ah."

"Lace, can I ask you something? Something hard?"

"Of course."

"Can a woman who's been hurt . . . " He swallowed and diverted his eyes from her own. He couldn't bear to see the same haunted expression that had filled Vanessa's eyes.Especially since he didn't know how to make things better.

She prodded him, her voice curiously gentle. "Yes, Clay?"

He started again. "Can a woman who's been hurt badly, by a man . . . can she ever recover?"

Because she deserved to be looked at, he turned back to her. She met his gaze steadily, though the skin around her lips turned white. Obviously his questions still hit her terribly hard. "I don't know."

"I see."

"Clay, when those men left, I had no one." A pleading look brightened her blue eyes. "There was no one left. However, I have a feeling a woman under different circumstances might do better than I have."

"Thank you for saying that."

"Give her time, Clayton. And give yourself time, too. Ain't no shame in that."

Her knowing gaze made him feel like he'd felt too much, said too little. Shifting uncomfortably, he said, "You're not the only one with regrets, Lace."

"I won't try to stop you from your travels. Just let me say that if you've got a mind to keep the peace, please do your best not to get shot. The world's a better place with you in it, Clayton Proffitt."

He stood up when she did. "Some might say the same thing about you."

Her eyes softened. Impulsively, she kissed his cheek."Thanks for saying that."

And with that, she left, just as a telegram from Nebraska arrived. The town of Benson was, indeed, still in need of a sheriff. A sizeable salary would accompany room and board.After reading what they were offering, Clayton knew he couldn't refuse.

At the moment, dealing with people in need of peace and order sounded like a welcome change. Lord knew he was in dire need of some himself.

"You still writing my brother?" Corrine asked Vanessa as she joined her on the front steps of the porch. "Our life is so quiet, sometimes I wonder how you fill the pages."

"That hasn't been the problem; it's the waiting for the time to pass that is."

"I can understand that, though time is indeed passing."Looking out at the budding flowers in the field across from them, Corrine said, "It's been several weeks now."

"Yes." Vanessa knew quite a bit of time had passed since that terrible day when Clayton had ridden off without a backward glance. Slipping her quill and ink to one side, she shrugged."I enjoy writing to him. I hope Clayton enjoys receiving my notes, even if they are a little plain and full of ordinary days."

"I'm sure he enjoys them; how could he not? Clayton told me that my letters were a true gift during the war. Anything reminding him of home was. Merritt's said the same thing a time or two."

The thought of Clayton actively anticipating her letters warmed her through and through—though she wasn't completely sure that that was the case. "I guess one day I'll be able to ask him in person."

"At least he's been writing you back. Most men don't think of such things. How many letters has he sent you?"

Three.
She'd received three cherished notes from him, the pages worn and wrinkled both from him writing to her on the trail and her constant rereading of them. "I've gotten a fair amount."

"I see that look of worry you're wearing," Corrine admonished."Try not to, now. I imagine it's a mite harder for Clayton to have the time to write, given the jobs he's doing and such."

"He's a busy man," Vanessa said slowly. And he was. She had been brought up on a ranch and had no illusions about the ease of mailing letters from the back of a horse! In addition, he'd been branding, nursing calves, and clearing farmland.She imagined that there was many a day when all he wanted to do was sit in front of a campfire and nurse his coffee.

She'd sure witnessed that pleasure of his often enough on their way to Colorado.

But she certainly did cherish each letter he wrote. Full of descriptions of the northern plains, she felt sometimes as if she was traveling through the brush and across rocky terrain by his side, or at least in his heart.

Seeking to alleviate the strained silence, Vanessa said, "Where's Aaron?"

"Sleeping, thank the good Lord," Corrine replied with a smile. "He's a dear, but a handful since he hasn't gotten the notion that nighttime is for sleeping. Pearl's watching him for a couple of minutes so I can take a break."

Aaron, though a challenge to any sort of regular schedule, was in every other way a complete angel. Already it was impossible to remember life without the giggling baby boy. His smile and manner were infectious, earning him admirers right and left, especially his two older sisters. Melissa and Kate were sure he was their new toy. "I think Aaron has helped José and Pearl overcome their differences."

Corrine smiled at that. "I'd like to think my sweet baby had a role to play in their reuniting, but I'm not sure that happened.Maybe it was finally their time to mend ways and step over their problems. '
For everything there is a season.'"

"Maybe it was," Vanessa murmured. And, of course, the inevitable crossed her mind. When was it going to be her and Clayton's time? Their separation seemed like an eternity.

"Maybe," Corrine agreed. With a heartfelt sigh, she pointed to the west. "My, now look at that. Isn't that a beautiful sunset?"

Together, they watched the sun make its slow descent along the horizon, casting the mountains in the distance an orange, then pink, then purplish glow. Soon, the first star of the evening appeared, signaling the end of the show.

"That was a good one," Corrine said with a smile and a little clap. "I never get tired of looking at the sun setting over the mountains."

"It's so different from Texas," Vanessa said, then wished she'd said something less inane. Of course the scenery was different."I mean, here, we seem so much closer to the stars at night. Being outside here feels different, somehow."

Corrine nodded. "I feel that way, too. Strange as it may seem, sometimes I miss the hot, humid air and the smell of rain. It hardly ever rains here."

"I miss the fields of bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes."

"Mesquite trees and flat ground."

"Red dust and parched lips," Vanessa added with a laugh."I take back what I said. There are some things about Texas I don't miss at all."

"We could say the same about here, I suppose."

Vanessa turned to Corrine. "No matter what my reasons for being here, I do want you to know that I've enjoyed my stay. I hope I've thanked you enough."

"You've thanked us too much. We're family, Vanessa.Families look out for one another."

"I'd forgotten that, I'm afraid."

"You've had your reasons to. But, no matter what, I must say that we've enjoyed your company and your help." Smiling slyly, Corrine added, "I don't think Merritt's going to let you leave—you certainly make some wonderful biscuits."

"I'll teach you how to make them. It's really all in how you roll them out." Remembering their many disastrous lessons in the kitchen, Vanessa amended her words. "I mean, I'll try and teach you again."

"We both know that would be a futile proposition. Flour and me go about as well together as you and gardening!"

Vanessa laughed, taking no insult from the jibe. "You're right. It was certainly harder than it sounded."

"Most things are." Corrine snapped her fingers. "Goodness, now I remember why I came out here. It was to ask about Clayton's latest letter. José told me he brought you one from town. What did it say?"

"Clayton's settled into Benson, Nebraska, as a sheriff.They've given him a sizable room above the jail."

Corrine wrinkled her nose. "Clayton working as a lawman.Can't say that's good news. I can't picture it, can you?"

Honestly, Vanessa could not. "He's an upstanding man, but I never figured he would enjoy doing that sort of job."

"That's very sweetly put. I'll just say what I'm thinking.He's no good regulating bad guys."

The honesty made Vanessa feel better. "I believe that to be true. It's hard to think of him living in town, not making his living on the back of Lee. Clayton always seems most at home in the saddle." Had she ever wanted anything more than to have him back? Giving into weakness, she admitted, "I miss him, Corrine. I miss him so badly I ache. The feelings have nothing to do with you or Merritt, or your beautiful homestead."

"I understand completely. You feel like you're missing your heart."

"That's it, exactly," Vanessa answered, glad that Corrine understood her feelings so well. As the quiet of twilight surrounded them, she whispered. "I want to go to Benson and be with him."

"You can't," Corrine said, pressing her hand on Vanessa's arm. "Just because Price hasn't shown up on our doorstep doesn't mean he hasn't gone out searching for you."

"If he's still searching, it's been a long time."

"He may not be putting as much stock into a calendar as you are, Vanessa. He may just be thinking that he'll see you sooner or later."

"I hope not." Sometimes, if Vanessa held her eyes closed long enough, she could fool herself into thinking that her stepfather's attack had taken place during another lifetime.

She certainly felt like another person. The innocent girl who worried about the correct term for
periwinkle
was long gone.

"Merritt did some checking during the last roundup. Folks in Santa Fe were offered money to bring news of you. Price hasn't given up yet."

That rattled her. "Did anyone talk?"

"Not that Merritt heard. Seems the mercantile operator is just as loyal to Merritt as he is to Clayton. He said he'd never heard of a man named Clayton Proffitt, and he'd certainly never seen the woman he described."

Remembering Hank, and the story Clayton had told about him and his farm, Vanessa smiled. "The mercantile owner is a man named Hank. Clayton knew him from the war. He certainly seemed like a good man. Did you ever meet him?"

"No, Merritt didn't either. I guess Clayton met him before he went to Merritt's unit. But Merritt did recall Clayton's story of Hank taking in Clayton's unit while one of his soldiers recovered."

"He's still taking care of Clayton, I guess," Vanessa mused."I'm thankful Hank didn't tell the whole story to whoever was asking about me. See, I was indeed there at the mercantile, but as Clayton's wife. Clayton bought my wedding band there." Fingering the warm band of gold, she recalled their bath in the hotel room. Her shyness around him—the sweet way he'd given her the ring.

That day, too, felt like a lifetime ago.

"I think he kept your secret safe, but somebody else didn't.From what Merritt gathered, Hank thinks someone in your hotel talked."

"That may be true. There was a lot of riffraff there."

"That's why you can't leave our property, Vanessa. What would Clayton do if he found out that something happened to you after he's gone to such great lengths to keep you safe?"

He'd be devastated. Vanessa knew that as well as she knew that she'd keep writing to Clayton—just in case he looked forward to her letters as much as she wanted him to.

Suddenly her aching loneliness made her feel petty. "I know I'm being selfish, but still . . . I think he needs me. For all my faults, I can be strong, too."

Corrine said nothing for a moment, just stared at the ball of bright orange as it hid behind the mountains at last. Through the cracked doorway they could hear Aaron fuss and just as quickly be shushed by Pearl.

When it was quiet again, Corrine said, "Merritt told me about your agreement with Clayton. The one y'all made at the Willoughby's."

Vanessa was sure her face glowed with embarrassment. "I didn't know it was common knowledge."

"Not so common, only among people who care." Leaning back on her hands, she said, "I'm sorry if I'm going to shock you, but here it is. When Merritt came back to my house, all injured, I'm the one who talked about marriage."

"Really?" Corrine's story didn't help in the slightest. In fact, all it served to do was make it more obvious that Clayton had little desire to see her as anything but a pretend bride— and she was too timid and shy to take matters into her own hands.

"Yep. From the moment I saw him, I knew we were meant to be together. He was everything I wanted, everything I didn't even know I wanted. One night, when we were sitting together, I proposed."

In spite of herself, Vanessa forgot her own troubles and focused on Corrine's story. "Then what happened?"

"He stared at me in shock. Said yes to my proposal, and then finally kissed me."

Vanessa laughed, completely charmed and amused. "I don't know whether to be scandalized by your behavior or amused at Merritt's reaction."

"Be both!" Corrine smiled. "Vanessa, I think you're going to have to take some forward steps toward Clayton if you want to see him anytime soon."

Vanessa feared her sister-in-law was right. Clayton's letters were sweet but distant. Almost like he was holding himself away, letting more than miles separate them.

Bravely, she admitted the awful truth. "Sometimes, I think he's not intending to return at all. Sometimes, I think Clayton has moved on." She swallowed. "The idea of being forgotten scares me."

Corrine looked pained. "Oh, Van. Give him more time.If you don't hear anything promising, and we don't hear any news about Price, perhaps you should go to him after all."

"I'd rather do that than just wait here, wondering what he's doing and hoping Price doesn't find out where I am."

Corrine agreed. "There's a time for patience and a time for action. If you decide to go in a month, I'll even help you pack.Sometimes a woman has to do what she can to make her marriage successful."

Just then Aaron started crying in earnest and Pearl called for Corrine. As Vanessa watched Corrine run back inside, she finally felt more at peace.

As the sky turned dark, Vanessa knew, deep in her heart, that her time of being patient had almost reached its conclusion.She hadn't run from Price and followed Clayton across the country merely to wait for him and write. She'd gone to follow her dreams.

And her dream was to be his partner, his helpmate. His wife. As she recalled Corrine's proposal, Vanessa knew the time had come for her to brave the uncertainties of life and begin taking her future in her own hands.