Authors: Tammy Jo Burns
Tags: #regency romance, #Historical Romance, #disability romance, #blind romance, #duke romance
“I do,” he sighed, crossing the room.
At that moment he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.
His mother had become a stranger over the years.
Her episodes became more and more frequent, shifting between bouts of melancholy and rage.
Even as a child, Gabriel noticed his mother to be emotionally unstable.
Often times he thought his father gave in to her extravagant demands to save an ensuing battle.
Then Andrew had happened, and their lives had changed forever.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“I will make certain she stays sedated through the wedding ceremony,” his grandmother said, accepting his answer.
“Thank you.”
“I know you do not want to hear this just now,” Judith began.
“Then do not say it.”
“I will, and you will listen to me,” he looked out one of the bedroom windows, not really seeing anything.
“I am getting too old to control her, and you are about to embark upon a new chapter of your life.
You and Mikala are going to have enough difficulties without having to deal with the burden of your mother and me.”
“You are not a burden.”
“Perhaps not, but you do not need our presence.
I also think it is time to look at an arrangement for your mother.”
“No!”
“Gabriel James Hawke, you listen to me, and you listen well.
What happens when you and Mikala have children?
Is your mother going to take her hatred for their mother out on them?
What if Mikala never gets her sight back?
Does she need to share a house with a woman that hates her, possibly enough to do her harm?
I know that you love your mother, but something must be done.”
“Not Bedlam.”
“Good heavens, no!
I would not send my enemy there.
But perhaps there is someplace she can retire quietly to.
Or perhaps you can send her to one of the estates you seldom frequent and hire someone to care for her.
Gabriel, she is not a well woman and has not been for a very long time.”
“You are right,” he agreed with a heavy sigh.
“I know this is hard on you, but it is for the best,” they stood in silence for quite some time before Judith said, “Why don’t you go back down to Mikala.
I am certain she is beside herself with worry.”
“Yes,” he said and left the room.
***
Close to a half hour later, Kala heard the heavy footsteps of her fiancée descend the stairs and enter the study.
It took all of her will power to remain silent and sitting in the chair.
She wished desperately she could see his face, his posture, but instead she heard the deep sigh leave his body.
“I apologize for mother’s behavior.”
“Gabriel, what is wrong with her?” She heard the tinkle of glass and the pouring of liquid.
“Not now, please.”
“All right.
Then answer me this, why does she hate me so much?
She used to not act that way towards me.”
“Later.”
“When will you deem the appropriate time for these revelations, Your Grace?”
Pushed too far, Gabriel felt the tension within him snap.
“Andrew!
He is the reason she hates your very presence.
Are you satisfied?” She heard the sound of glass breaking and the fire hissing and sizzling.
“I will see you in the morning.”
Mikala heard a door close and knew he had left the house.
She felt more confused than ever.
Chapter 19
They were married in a quiet ceremony by special license that had been easier to obtain than Kala had imagined.
They had a quiet, but strained breakfast after the wedding that Gabe’s grandmother, Gabe, and herself attended.
It had not quite been the wedding she had thought to have, but then she had never really given much thought as to what her wedding would be like.
After picking at her food, Mikala pushed her plate back.
“Gabe, I think I’ve had enough.
I would like to change if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not.
I’ll be glad to escort you up to your room.”
“Thank you,” he could feel the tremor in her hand as she placed it on his arm.
Once they were out in the hall, he pulled her to a stop. Gabe turned her so he could study her more closely.
Because she couldn’t see, she didn’t know how close she was being scrutinized, and he knew she must feel uncomfortable.
“Kala, I am truly sorry about mother.
I promise to someday tell you all that I know, but not now.
Just trust me in this.”
“Of course.”
“Come, let’s go upstairs.”
“I have meant to ask you, but may I hang ropes about the house as I did at Dru’s?”
“Of course.
The house is yours as well.
You should do anything that makes you feel more at home, more independent.”
“Thank you.”
He paused with her outside the door to the duchess’ bedchamber.
“Your Grace, did I tell you how absolutely beautiful you looked at our wedding?”
“Thank you,” she said, her voice even more sultry than usual.
Gabe felt his body responding to her sexy voice.
Perhaps they wouldn’t have to wait until tonight to celebrate their wedding.
He bent and kissed her soft, full lips.
He felt her begin to respond when a voice cleared itself behind him.
Kala shot away from him as if a cannon had just been fired.
“What is it?”
“Your Grace, this message just came for you.
The man said it extremely important that you get it,” his butler, Hamlin interrupted.
Gabe took the note, ripping it open.
He cursed out loud as he read the words.
Gabe felt his desire evaporate as the words on the note penetrated his sex-starved brain.
“What is it?” Kala queried.
“I have to leave for a while.
Something important has come up.”
“I understand.
You’re a busy man.
What if I should need you?
Is there someplace I should send a note to you?” She asked trying to sound casual about the whole matter.
“You will be fine.
You are so well guarded here, you are like a baby wrapped in its mother’s arms,” he sidestepped the question.
“That’s nice,” she tried to sound happy with his response, but knew he had not answered her.
“I’ll be back for dinner,” he dropped a kiss on her lips and turned, retracing his steps.
She entered the duchess’s room frustrated beyond belief.
She had been physically frustrated since that night in the study, but now she felt emotionally frustrated as well.
He held himself back from her and she didn’t like it at all.
If she had her sight she would merely follow him.
Then again, if she had her sight she more than likely would not be the Duchess of Hawkescliffe.
She placed a hand to her head as a slight pounding began.
How did she always end up in predicaments beyond her control?
Because you’re reckless
, she silently chastised herself.
She went inside her new chamber and closed the door behind her.
A thought suddenly occurred to her and she went cold at the mere suggestion.
What if he had a mistress?
Perhaps he and Lady Clarissa were involved after all.
What if she was expecting his illegitimate child?
She tried to stop the thoughts and questions spinning out of control in her mind.
The questions only caused doubts and her head to pound more.
“No, you’re being foolish,” she scolded herself.
“Pardon me, Your Grace?”
“Oh, you startled me.
Amy, isn’t it?”
Kala turned towards where she heard her new lady’s maid address her.
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“I came up to change into something more suitable for daily activity.”
“Do you have a preference, Your Grace?”
“I plan on memorizing the layouts of the rooms I will most frequent.
You see, since I have lost my sight I have found it is the best way to find my way around without relying on others.”
“You are a smart one, Your Grace.”
The maid quickly helped her change into a serviceable dress.
“Would you like me to help you downstairs?”
“Thank you.
I believe I would like to start with the study.
It seems like a cozy room, and I doubt we’ll have many visitors this late in the season, so the parlor will be unnecessary for now.”
Her new maid led her down to the requested room.
“Do you need anything else, Your Grace?”
“I believe you have helped me admirably.
Now I just need some time alone.”
Besides
, she thought,
maybe this will take my mind off my wondering thoughts
.
She barely heard the little maid scamper off back upstairs, already deep in trying to determine the layout of the room.
She began with the perimeter and then sectioned it off into quadrants in her mind.
She found the chair that she and Gabe had occupied the other night and felt her fingernails bite into the supple leather.
A flush covered her as she remembered what he had done to her in that chair.
Whatever she thought of him, he definitely felt passionate towards her.
She continued working lost in the process of memorizing her surroundings by touch.
Kala blocked out all the sounds around her.
Shrewd eyes watched her intently.
Slowly a sinister smile curved the woman’s mouth as she turned and climbed the stairs to her suite.
***
Dinner came and went without a sign of Gabe.
Kala didn’t know what she expected.
Did she truly think that everything would be fine after the passion that passed between them?
Evidently I did, and evidently I could not have been more wrong
, she thought, bitter and discouraged.
Dinner passed with her and Judith making most of the conversation.
Gabe’s mother had joined them, not saying a word.
Kala felt quite surprised at her behavior.
When dessert came, the new dowager made her excuses and left the table.
“She seemed extraordinarily nice this evening.”
“Odd, wasn’t it?”
A few moments later they heard a cry from the hallway.
Both women stood up and Judith took off towards the hallway.
Kala felt her hand grabbed and tugged along.
“Sarah,” Judith cried, “what happened?”
“What?
What is it?” Kala asked feeling useless.
“I stepped wrong on the stairs and believe I twisted my ankle.”
“We’ll have a footman carry you up and pack your ankle in ice.
That should help with the swelling,” Kala said firmly, feeling in control once again.
“You want to freeze off my extremities?
Are you using that brain of yours, you silly chit?”
“It’s so nice to have you back with us,” Kala replied sardonically.
“What’s going on here,” Gabe asked from the doorway.
He sounded tired beyond belief.
They had all been so engrossed with Sarah that they had missed Gabe’s entrance.
“Your wife is being snippy with me, son, that is the problem,” Kala could hear the pout in the older woman’s voice.
“Kala,” she felt astounded to hear Gabe’s reprimand.
“What?” She turned towards him hands on hips.
The darkness of his body blocked the light behind him.
Once again, she wished she could see his face and placement of his body.
It would be so much easier to tell if she should well and truly be put out with him.
She saw his shadow come towards her then simply brush past her.
“Come, Mother, let me help you up to your room.
We’ll get that ankle elevated and put some ice on it to help with the swelling.”
“Gabriel, you are so wise.
You know just the thing to do.”