A Tiger in Eden (17 page)
It took me a few minutes to pull myself together, are you coming to the island, I says to him, he shakes his head, no I can’t I’m afraid I have to go home to my family now they’re waiting for me. I understand, I says, all the best to ye and sorry about wetting your shirt there, don’t worry about it, he goes, you take care of yourself and take care of her too. I looked at him rubbing the tears from my cheeks with my balled-up fist, he raised one eyebrow at me, you know who I’m talking about, he goes. Aye, I says, I think so.
And there she was leaning on the side of the bus with her backpack at her feet and watching me. I went over and gave her the nod. She smiled and lifted her bag up as the driver come over to open the baggage compartment and she chucked it inside and says, I’ll save you a seat.
Right, I goes, and said cheerio to Knut and the medic and his fiancée and took one last look at the monastery wondering if I’d ever come back. The redhead was waiting for me down the back of the bus, nice one, I was thinking, that’s the seats I always go for too so I can get a good look at everyone. She patted the one next to her and I started laughing. What’s so funny, she says.
Nothing, I goes, just thinking our first date’s a funeral.
Not exactly dinner and a movie, she says, she had a
dead relaxed American twang not one of the aul nasal accents like I want a bay-gel and a cup of caw-fee, look I’m Lana, she says, sorry about all the staring for some reason I couldn’t keep my eyes off you, God I shouldn’t be telling you this should I wow it’s weird talking isn’t it? I’m not usually much of a chatterbox so I apologise in advance if I talk your ear off until we get there.
No problem at all, I says, I could listen to you talking all day, I’m Will by the way.
We’re going to get along just fine aren’t we, she goes.
Bet the house on it, I says, sure we might as well sign the marriage certificate right now what names do you think are good for boys?
She laughed then and her cheeks flushed but she didn’t miss a beat, ooh, she goes, I always liked Carter what’s your surname?
Fitzgerald, I says, having to think fast.
Fitzgerald, she goes, that’s good I like that, Lana Fitzgerald yeah that works.
I don’t know about Carter though, I says, Carter Fitzgerald he sounds like a film star from the forties.
Yeah, she goes,
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
starring Carter Fitzgerald.
Ha ha, I says, killer tomatoes where’d you get that from.
It’s an actual movie, she says, a spoof of those B-movies from the fifties.
It is not, I goes, you’re having me on, serious, she says, I’ve seen it it’s hilarious, away and fuck, I goes, then
covered my mouth with my hand, sorry I says, I swear a lot too much really I’ll try and keep it under control.
She bit her bottom lip then and gave me a look, no, she says, the way you say fuck is, well, whew is the aircon not working in here usually these buses have it turned up to the max. She waved her hand under her chin a big grin on her face.
Jesus, I goes, at this rate we’ll never make it to the island.
Tell me about it, she says, I haven’t come in ten days. It was her turn to put her hand over her mouth then, her eyes went wide, sorry did I say that out loud oh my God I can’t believe I just said that, aye, I goes, anyway how about a change of subject, holy fuck I was thinking, there’s going to be some fireworks tonight to celebrate yer man’s passing.
If you asked me what else we talked about the rest of the trip I couldn’t tell ye, the only thing I ‘member noticing is that she didn’t ask me about how it was growing up in Belfast or what I done there or why I was here it was more about what I liked and didn’t like and what I thought of things she didn’t seem interested at all in who I’d been, only how my mind worked. I suppose that was a hangover from the retreat bloody lucky really if she’d met me before we wouldn’t of got on as well as we did. My head was clear now and we were able to yarn about the universe and how the world worked and the big questions. I quite liked that sort of talk, the hours flew by everyone on the bus was jabbering away glad to
be talking again except a few people on their own trying to process the real world outside the monastery walls staring out the window watching the countryside go by.
The bus drove onto this aul rickety ferry once we got to the coast, it didn’t look very safe but we made it over to the island all right, it was only a small one just a couple of wee towns not many people living on it but quite a few had turned out for yer man’s funeral. We all piled out of the bus and grabbed something to eat at this wee stall in the market, they had Coke and everything normally I’m a Fanta man but me and Lana grabbed a couple of bottles fuck it was good stuff, I was buzzing after it just goes to show ye how being off the western food for a while makes a difference. Me and her dandered down with a couple of the others to see the funeral site. I thought it would just be an aul graveyard but yer man’s dead body was lying out on this pyre in the open air for everyone to see.
What’s this, I says, don’t tell us they’re going to set fire to him.
Lana shivered, I suppose so, she goes. I didn’t think about it but of course they’re not a Christian society they’ve got different customs and traditions surrounding death I guess, right enough, I says, this should be something to see then bit like a bonfire on the eleventh night, what’s that, she goes, what’s the eleventh night?
I shook my head, don’t worry about it sure it’s just a dumb thing the Protestants do back home, the night before the Orangemen do their marching they light big
fires all over the place and burn an effigy of the Pope load of aul bollocks really just an excuse for a piss-up and a fight.
Yeah, she says, I’ve seen footage of them marching down Catholic streets on the news it’s a bit weird I mean we believe in free speech and all but I can’t see the Ku Klux Klan marching through Harlem you know?
I laughed at that, aye totally, I goes, it’s a bit like that they’re all head-the-balls back home, she liked that one, head-the-balls, she says, it means you’re stupid from heading a soccer ball too much right?
How’d you know that, I goes.
I played as a midfielder all through high school, she says, soccer’s really popular with girls in America, is that right, I says, sure I love knocking an aul ball around we should get one and have a game on the beach see who else wants to play.
What beach is this you’re referring to, she goes, oh you know, I says, dead casual, wherever we go after this, maybe Ko Pha-Ngan sure that’s not far from here.
Oh so we’re off to an island together are we, she says, acting all coy.
Why, don’t you want to, I goes, knowing full well she was just joshing me.
Sure, she says, once the barbecue’s over here let’s go.
I laughed at that, aye shame they don’t sell marshmallows at their wee stall there sure they’d make a mint.
We knocked around with the others from the retreat for an hour or two waiting for the festivities to start and
trying to keep our hands off of each other. Just as well there was no beach to go and lie on and no privacy to be had, there was a bit of a crowd formed for the send-off. Monks came in a procession and stood round and then started chanting, it was quite good, there must of been a few hundred people there to watch. Lana squeezed my hand when they put the torch to the pyre, the thing went up pretty quick it’s not something you see every day or want to see really but the monks and the locals all loved it they were happy the complete opposite of what ye see at a funeral in the west with everyone greeting. They all believed he was away to a new life reincarnated as someone else starting over again, the fire was purging who he used to be sure I could identify with that at least.
When I looked round at Lana and she put her head into my shoulder her red hair was rising in the wind out behind her face and I could see the flames reflected in her eyes she was crying a wee bit but smiling too this was the start of something for the aul monk who’d died and for us too, we both felt it.
It was mad being on Haad Rin Nok beach a couple of days before the party kicked off sure that was the only way you could get yourself an aul shack if you left it too late there’d be ten thousand other fuckers trying to grab them. Ours wasn’t too bad it’d seen better days like but sure it’s only a place to throw your bag down and have a kip and a dump in private. There was a hammock on the balcony sure I never mastered them I was too big but Lana jumped right in no problem. She wasn’t so keen on the bathroom squat-toilet situation of course, if you’re not used to each other it’s a bit embarrassing at first not exactly high romance considering the dodgy pad thais going around if you know what I mean. There was some sort of big fucking lizards crawling around in the roof too sure the first time I saw Lana half in the buff was
when she come running out squealing an hour after we checked in. We were still circling each other nothing had happened even though it was pretty obvious something was going to we’d come here and rented a shack together after all and there was only one bed.
Anyway she went in to do her business I was hanging out on the bed trying to look nonchalant going through my stuff wondering if the DJs would play anything from the CDs I’d bought and next thing I hear this animal croaking noise. I knew it was geckos straightaway sure they’re only small things it’s not hard to work it out ‘cos their call is just their name, geck-o geck-o geck-o that’s what they say. I didn’t mind it but if you never heard it before it’s a bit of a what-the-fuck-was-that moment, it must of been loud in the bathroom too I suppose.
The door bursts open and Lana comes running out squealing her face all flushed, Will there’s something in there, she goes, some creature.
You’re all right, I says, it’s just a gecko they’re only wee lizards sure they won’t do you any harm. It was a weird moment ‘cos she was standing there with one fist clenched by her side and the other hand up at her mouth, biting on her thumbnail, she wasn’t wearing nothing from the waist down I mean that’s easiest when you’re dealing with squat toilets but still it was a bit of a shock to see her ginger pubes for the first time under such circumstances, not exactly the way I’d been imagining.
Can you get rid of it, she goes. I just turned my palms up and shrugged, they’re pretty fast and hard to catch, I
says, and even if I did get him there’ll be another one in there an hour later you’ll get used to it they won’t come near ye don’t worry. I was staring at her fire crotch the whole time thinking fuck me I’m going to go wild with this one she must of seen me, what are you oh sorry, she goes, and puts one hand over her fanny, blushing.
Bit late now, I goes, the ginger cat’s out of the bag, she pulled her hand away and starts laughing, yeah, she says, who cares anyway, and does a wiggle for me, you’re going to be seeing it constantly the next few days and I mean constantly, is that right, I says, sure I don’t think I can stand it much longer Lana why don’t you slide on over her and introduce me to your wee friend.
Look it’s not like me to be bashful or nothing but for some reason it feels out of order talking about those first few days when me and Lana were together. We pretty much stayed in the shack hiding under the mosquito net only getting dressed to go up into Haad Rin to buy bottled water and some scran. We were in the wrong place really, we should of went to one of those quiet wee islands instead of coming to party central but it didn’t seem right at the time sure we hardly knew each other and after the meditation it was good being around people again and hearing their aul chatter even if it was all a load of bollocks and they were just a bunch of wankers mostly.
It might of been too intense if it was just the two of us out in some remote place, at least on Ko Pha-Ngan there was loads of people for us to mingle with if we
wanted. The backpackers were arriving by the busload every day more and more of them for the aul full moon party a lot of dickheads really but some all right people too the aul Goa trance music crowd, Germans and Israelis with long hair and dusty feet. Me and Lana talked to these two German girls who said they were here for a
psytranceparty
it sounded like one big word the way they said it, that’s the Germans for ye like very good at thinking up single words for big long awkward ideas. Every time you talked to one of them and said something like I sort of feel like dancing but I’m a bit tired at the moment maybe later sure you knew they had a word for that feeling. You are
m
ü
detanzenmann,
they’d say, not exactly a language for whispering sweet nothings in someone’s ear hole is it.
We started venturing outside a bit more then, the aul hippies were good craic and they took their music dead serious, some of them had been coming for years they were worried the whole thing was getting taken over by eejits and getting too commercial, it was hard not to argue like. Me and Lana would take a wee walk along the beach not as romantic as it sounds ‘cos there was thousands of people about running wild and drinking Red Bull and vodka from buckets the stalls would sell. That’s all it was just an aul plastic bucket the sort you’d build a sandcastle with as a kid, a handle so you didn’t drop it and a dozen straws so you could suck the aul go-go juice down like nobody’s business. No wonder everyone was wasted, at least when you finished your drink you
could use the same bucket to throw up in very handy so it was sure the Thais think of everything.
