A Tragic Heart (16 page)

“We were,” I say. “But something went wrong. We both thought we would be that couple who married in high school and spent the next eighty years together. But I guess my parents were right: what we had wasn’t real.”

I try not to cry. I think I’ve done enough crying for the day.

“No one can determine if what you and Mason have is real or not. That is up to you and him to decide. All marriages have their trying times, and just because something goes wrong or tests you doesn’t mean that what you have isn’t real. In fact, it may just mean what you have is more genuine than what most are given.”

She has a way of putting things. She’s starting to make me think that Mason just may be the one for me; but that thought quickly changes when I think about Peyton.

“Mason cheated on me,” I blurt out. “He cheated on me and now his mistress is pregnant. I’m not ready to see him start another family with a girl who’s not me. Mason forced a lot of things to change between us—and I do mean a lot.”

I don’t know where all this honesty is coming from. Most people feel uncomfortable during their first counseling session, but I’m an exception. I think I’ve been yearning to get this off my chest for so long that it’s releasing itself.

“Many marriages result in a spouse cheating, but that doesn’t mean you should just quickly give up and not try to work things out. Marriage is a serious commitment between two people that may require a fight every now and then.”

She pauses for a while. “How about I have you and Mason see me for counseling together—as a couple. You can still have your solo sessions with me on Tuesdays and he can also have solo sessions if he wants to. But I think it would be a good idea for us three to talk together one day out of the week. I would hate to see you two give up so easily—because anyone who is mature enough to take responsibility for a marriage at seventeen deserves to have someone there for them when the going gets tough.”

I love her. She is excellent. And her choice of words is flawless. “I would love for us to come in together as a couple—that would be great. I’ll just have to ask Mason if he’s okay with it first,” I say, feeling a bit more hopeful than I have in a long while.

“Well, that’s great, Taylor. Is there anything else you would like to share with me before our session is up?” she asks generously.

Yeah, I want to say that I slept with Peyton and have fallen deeply in love with him over the past few months and that I blamed it all on Mason even though I played a huge role in the failure of our marriage. But I wouldn’t dare say that out loud. “No, not today Dr. Rayner—I mean, Kate. I’ll just see you next Tuesday,” I say, getting up and walking toward the door. “Thank you—a lot,” I say sincerely before walking out.

“You’re welcome, Taylor—anytime. Oh, and here’s my cell phone number just in case you need to call me for anything. It doesn’t matter what time it is. Just call me if you feel the need to speak to me. No situation is a small one if it’s bothering you,” she says, handing me a piece of paper with her number on it.

“Thanks again, Kate,” I say before walking out and going to my car.

This feels like the start of a new beginning. My next challenge is to get Mason on board with me.

I come home smiling and find Mason in the kitchen washing dishes.

“Why are you smiling so much?” he asks after giving me a kiss on the cheek.

He’s trying and I like it
. “Why are you washing dishes by hand when we have a dishwasher?” I ask, giggling at the thought.

“Hmmm. Because I needed to keep myself busy. You know I clean when I think too much,” he responds.

I stare at him for a while.

“What? Why are you looking at me? Did I do something wrong?” he asks.

Poor Mason; he’s so used to doing things wrong that he doesn’t know the difference between that and doing something right.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, actually.” I say
it
again. “I love you Mason.”

It’s becoming a habit today. I don’t know if it’s because I had a great session, or because I really love him. Earlier today, I was making out with Peyton. But by seven in the evening, I was naked with Mason. This is becoming a big mess.

“I love you too, Taylor,” he quickly responds.

“Can I ask you something—and you promise not to get upset?” I say, watching him dry his hands.

“Sure. What is it?”

“Would you mind coming to counseling?” I ask, nervous about his reaction.

He just looks at me without saying anything. I start speaking again before he can say anything. “It’s just that I mentioned some things in my session today and Kate—Dr. Rayner—would like to meet with both of us once a week, every week. I think it would be great and all, since we are deciding to try a little harder in our relationship.” I am still nervous.

“Sure. I think it would be cool. We both have things we need to get off of our chests, so why not? I think we can both benefit from some counseling right now.”

I’m surprised by his answer. I didn’t expect this kind of leap from him in one day.

“She also said that you are welcome to have solo sessions once a week like I do,” I slowly add, trying not to overwhelm him.

“Okay. I guess I can do that, too.”

He’s serious and willing, and it makes me feel even guiltier about Peyton. I was going to hurt Mason and he doesn’t deserve it…at least not now.

“You mean it?” I say, trying not to show my excitement.

“Yeah, I do,” he responds. “I promised you that I would try to make it up to you and put more effort into us—so I’m going to do just that. And if counseling is the answer, then I’m fine with it.”

Before he’s able to get the last word out, I have my legs wrapped around him, and he’s holding me up. I give him a long, deep, passionate kiss.

It’s final. I am officially torn.

As soon as I’m finished kissing Mason, I run into the bedroom and call Kate. I can’t wait to tell her that he agreed to the sessions. The phone rings about three times before she answers it.

“Hello?” she says. There’s no noise in the background.

“Hi, Kate. This is Taylor. I’m calling to let you know some good news,” I say, ecstatic.

“Oh really? I would love to hear it!” she says, with just as much excitement in her voice as I had in mine.

“I spoke to Mason and he’s decided that counseling would be a great idea—he may even consider solo sessions.”

“That’s great, Taylor! I’m glad to hear that. In fact, I just opened up my Wednesdays at 8:00 p.m. Do you think you’d be interested?”

“Um…yeah, sure. I think that’ll be fine. So, do we start tomorrow?” I ask, unsure since tomorrow is Wednesday.

“Of course! If that’s okay with you and Mason,” she says.

“It’s fine. You can put us down. I’m sure Mason won’t mind.”

“Okay. Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says before hanging up.

“See you tomorrow. ’Bye.”

I hang up the phone and turn around to see Mason standing behind me. I jump.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, putting his hands on my shoulders. “What’s happening tomorrow?”

“Nothing much—just that we have an appointment at eight with Dr. Rayner,” I say, looking up at him.

“Hmmm, okay. I’ll just have to tell Lauren I can’t meet with her parents tomorrow night, then,” he says, ruining the moment.

Just that fast I’d forgotten about Lauren and
their
baby. The thought of it begins to make my blood boil and my skin crawl. I have
to remind myself that today is the start of a new beginning and I have to put this behind me. That is going to be a real challenge.

“Why did you have to meet her parents?” I ask in a why-did-you-have-to-ruin-the-moment voice.

“Because they want to meet me, and it’s out of respect. How would you feel if a boy knocked up your daughter and you still haven’t met him?”

He has a point. I guess it’s the right thing to do—even if he is a married man.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m sorry,” I say, resting my head on his chest.

“Don’t be,” he says, resting his chin on the top of my head.

I’m beginning to fall in love with Mason once again and I don’t want to. It’s as if he’s trying to make leaving him harder because he knows I plan to leave for Peyton.

“You need to go shopping,” Mason says out of nowhere.

“W-what? Why?” I ask.

“Australia. We leave the third week of February and we’ll be gone until the beginning of March, remember?” he asks, looking at my face.

“Mason, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. It’s just that so much—”

He stops me before I can finish.

“Babe, it’s okay. You know what? Here,” he says, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. He hands me a few hundred dollars.

“Mason, where did you get all of this from?”

“I work, remember? And for my mom and dad, at that, so I get a little extra something. And besides, you deserve it.”

He’s making it extremely hard. I take the money and give him a big kiss. We’ve been doing that a lot lately, and I’m still not sure how I’m feeling about it.

***

The next morning, I don’t mind waking up for school. I get out of bed with a little extra something that I’ve been missing for a while. I haven’t felt this way since Mason and I started our marriage. If he
can make today like yesterday, then I think I can safely say that he really is trying.

We drive to school together; something we haven’t done in a long time. It feels great. I am smiling and I almost feel whole again; that is, until I see Peyton. He’s getting out of his car, which is parked across from Mason’s. I flash back to two nights ago and yesterday morning, both of which I spent loving Peyton. I glance at him…and suddenly that glance transforms into a stare. He smiles at me before walking into the school building. He is beautiful in so many ways. Mason interrupts my daydream by putting his arm around my shoulder. As soon as we walk into school, we give each other a kiss and go our separate ways.

“Well, you guy are back at that, I see.”

“Jealous?” I say, turning.

“I might just be.”

“Well, that’s just too bad, Peyton,” I say, smiling.

“Was that real?” he asks as we walk arm in arm to our math class.

“Maybe.”

“Hmmm, I guess I should’ve done a better job two nights ago,” Peyton says flirtatiously.

“Hey, hey, hey—you said no flirting, remember?” I say in a whisper so no one will hear us.

“Sorry. It’s just so hard.”

“Well, it was your rule,” I shoot back.

We reach our math class and sit in the back corner like we usually do. The class seems to fly by, as does the rest of the day. After school, I’m looking for Mason so we can go to the mall and he can help me shop for our trip next month. I find him talking to Lauren. That girl really knows how to ruin someone’s day. Before completely turning the corner, I stand there to listen to what they are saying.

“Why can’t you come, Mason? You got me pregnant; the least you could do is come meet my parents! It’s bad enough we’re not together!” I hear her say to him.

“Lauren, look! I have somewhere to be with
my wife
. And I know that may not mean much to you, but it does to me. This
entire situation with you has caused enough trouble. For the past few months, I’ve been ignoring her for you, and that’s just wrong. She’s my wife and like it or not, she comes first—not you, mother of my child or not! You knew what you were getting yourself into when you started this mess. I just should’ve been smarter. Tell your parents I’m sorry, but I can’t come tonight.”

He’s strong and very sincere. He’s honestly trying, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I really mean something to him.

“Well, since you can’t come tonight, can you come now? My parents are off for the week, so they’re home. I know she’s your wife, but like it or not, I’m having your child. Can you at least be respectful enough to meet them for just a few minutes? Think about how angry you would be if you never met the guy who impregnated your daughter,” Lauren says—almost the same words Mason said to me last night.

I know he’s going to cave on that count.

“You know what? Fine! I’ll come over now, but I have to be gone by seven tonight,” Mason says, sounding defeated.

At least he tried
. I complete my turn around the corner and walk up to Mason, giving him a sensual kiss on the lips—half because I want to; the other half to piss Lauren off. Mason pulls back and bites his bottom lip while looking me in the eyes. I believe he forgot Lauren is there; and that’s just what I wanted. He quickly returns to reality and tells me what I don’t want to hear.

“Babe, I…uh…I can’t take you shopping today. You can go with Peyton, if you want because I’ll be working the rest of this week. I’m really sorry,” he says.

“It’s okay—I understand. I’ll just see you tonight and I’ll go find Peyton now,” I say before giving him another kiss on the cheek.

I truly don’t mind the situation, because I think I did a fairly good job of letting Lauren know that Mason is mine and there is nothing that she can do about it. I hate myself for turning into the typical competitive high school girl. But I guess I’m an exception, since I’m married to Mason.

I run through the school, looking for Peyton. I was hoping he didn’t leave yet because I didn’t want to go shopping on my own. As I round a corner, I bump into someone.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you,” I start. Then I look up to see who it is. “Oh, it’s just you. I take it back, then!”

“So this is how you treat the godfather of your child?” he asks.

“Godfather? Jagger, I’m not pregnant and I won’t be anytime soon!” I say, still looking for Peyton.

“I know, but I’m just calling dibs before Peyton does,” he says in his usual joking manner.

“I’ll take note of that. By the way, speaking of Peyton, have you seen him?”

“Yeah, he was on his way out the building. Why?” he asks.

“I just need a favor from him!” I yell back, while running toward the exit.

I run through the parking lot, which isn’t the safest action to take, but I’m in a hurry. I find Peyton opening his car door.