A Warrior's Perception (25 page)

“
There is nothing here,
”
Andra whispered,
“
There is only pain and heart break.
”

“
Take your time,
”
advised Haggart,
“
Men are not all evil and twisted. There are some of them who are worth their mettle.
”

Andra's cold laugh sent a cold chill up Haggart's spine. Kagan would have his work cut out for him. Haggart hoped he was man enough to capture Ell'andra's heart and strong enough to let her leave him.

The best of both worlds.

Andra turned to the rustling noise from behind and knew Kagan was headed her way by the sound of the growl on his lips. She turned back to Haggart and stood up abruptly to his sudden absence. On the table sat a purple pouch and underneath it's silk glowed a faint white light. She swept it up and carefully deposited it into the folds of her gown.

A small piece of home.

“
Andra!
”
Kagan bellowed as he stalked the gardens.

She had bewildered his guards and had snuck off. His temper was about to get the best of him when she popped into his sight at the stone table. She was standing, looking rather sad and lost. She reminded Kagan of a puppy he had once had as a lad.

“
Stay closer to the keep and stop ye wondering about. If ye want to see more of the gardens make sure one of the guards are with ye at all times,
”
he gritted out between his teeth,
“
Ladies donna prance round like wanton barmaids in hopes of findin’ a payin’ lover!
”

Andra turned from his holiness the lion and frowned,
“
I will do as I please milord and act as wantonly as I choose. If I find a specimen worthy of being my lover I will take into account whether or not he can afford such desires. Ye only control back rubs and nothin’ else for the time bein’.
”

“
What is that supposed to mean?
”
he spat as he grabbed her elbow and spun her around to face him,
“
Ye will find ye place and hold ye forked tongue or I will punish ye as men are entitled to do to their wives.
”

Andra glared at the beast and replied,
“
Ye punishment for those vile words will make ye suffer ye shaft in endless need the next time ye wish a back rub. I will rub every inch of my body all o'er ye less-than-adequate erection and when ye take ye lea'e, I will further ye punishment by roamin’ the halls of McKregan Keep in the nude! And ye will do well to commit to memory that I will ne'er be ye wife!
”

The lion's roar echoed through the gardens and Andra jerked away from the beast. She stepped back and pointed her finger at him,
“
I am ye betrothed only by my father's words, not by mine or by my gods. I donna belong to ye Kagan McKregan and ye will'na command me!
”

Kagan's nostrils flared as he growled in a foreboding voice,
“
Ye'r mine and mine alone. Na man has e'er raised his finger to me and lived. Ye walk dangerously close to unleashin’ my unforgivin’ wraith.
”

“
I am'na man, I am woman and I am'na afraid of ye or ye wraith,
”
she spit out the words with fire laced breath, 
“
Take ye lea'e and forge the earth for weaklings that may cower at ye arrogant feet, for ye will'na find one here.
”

Kagan's anger and bruised ego hit him hard in the chest as he grabbed her arms and threw her over his shoulder. She kicked and hit me as hard as she could as he sat down and twisted her over his knee. He gripped her thighs between his legs and jerked her skirt up onto her back as she screamed in rage,
“
Ye break ye oath and ye be mine to command in life or death!
”

Kagan's hand was drawn back to wallop her across her backside. He paused in his fit of anger and stared at her lovely derriere.

Flawless!

She wore no undergarments and Kagan noticed tiny white slivers on her golden cheeks. They were scars, someone had flailed her. He softened his hold and turned her shoulders so that she faced him.

“
Who lanced ye backside?
”
he asked in a deep low voice.

Andra twisted her face away and pulled from his grasp. He let her go and she fell to her knees before him. Her angry eyes slashed at the cobbles beneath her hands.

“
Who?
”
he demanded.

Andra focused her stare on a broken stone and held back her lashing tongue.
Men were beasts and deserved nothing!
She remained silent and still as he stood. She begged the ground to open beneath her and take her in its grimy clutches.

“
Tell me who lashed ye,
”
he softly demanded as he ran his hand through his hair and urged his head to stop aching.

“
Pierre Guston,
”
she gritted,
“
He was my ...
”

Kagan rubbed his neck as she slowly stood and faced him,
“
He was the man who taught me many things but most of all he showed me what men are capable of and willin' to do for their own sordid pleasures.
”

She eased toward him as she continued,
“
Thanks to the sins of men, I know how to bring a man to his knees.
”
She stood before Kagan's towering frame and reached under his kilt,
“
Thanks to him, I know how to do this.
”

Kagan frowned as she slid her fingers up his shaft and encircled his now enlarged desire. She gripped him hard and tugged gently. Kagan raised his hand to her cheek and held her face as she boldly played with his erection. He kept his eyes locked on her dark green vengeful ones as she continued.

He knew she neither enjoyed nor wanted him to enjoy her touch. Her fingers tightened as he leaned closer and she quickened her pace. His breathing became heavy and his body responded as she melted to his chest. He closed his eyes as her other hand edged up his thigh and around to his buttocks. She squeezed and tormented him as she pulled him closer.

“
Hands down!
”
She ordered him to release her face and back. His hands dropped,
“
From this point on, ye will always keep ye oath in mind. Ne'er touch me less I say ye can.
”

“
Let me touch ye now!
”

“
Nay.
”
Her voice was cold and collected as she numbed herself to his scent.

“
I want ye,
”
he whispered as he bent his head to her ear,
“
I want to lie between ye legs and...
”

“
And what?
”
She looked up and saw the passion stirring in his cool gray eyes,
“
Ye want to conquer me? Ye want to shove this...inside of me?
”

Kagan groaned as she tugged again,
“
Aye.
”

“
And ye think I would allow ye to rip my insides apart with it? Think I would allow ye to pleasure yeself with my pain? Are ye na different than the rest of the men I ha'e known?
”
Her voice softened and her body sagged against his as she pelted her hand against his groin.

Kagan caught her hand and stilled her movements,
“
Are ye so full of spite and anger that ye would do this to a man and deny him the pleasures of ye bed? Are ye na woman enough to feel ye own lust buildin' 'tween ye legs?
”

Andra stiffened,
“
Do ye na like my touch? Do ye na enjoy this? Has he taught me wrong? Did I ha'e to endure his bent gnarled shaft to ha'e learned nothin' at all? Did I sit on my knees 'fore him day after day, ha'ing to allow his greasy hands to roam my naked body, for the likes of ye to dare call me na enough.
”

Kagan pulled back and gripped her shoulders and her hands fell to her sides,
“
What did he do to ye?
”
His heart feared the worse but his brain refused to believe the muscle that beat so hard in his chest...

Andra tried to pull away,
“
It donna matter, what is done is done. Did I na already tell ye I was'na the woman ye so deserve. Let go of me this instant.
”

“
Did he take ...
”
Kagan could not force the words from his tongue as he stared at her mouth.

“
My virginity? Is that what ye are worried 'bout? No matter that he beat me or made me walk 'bout his quarters naked or let him touch me where na man should ha’e touched. Ye be na different than he.
”

“
Tell me what he did,
”
ordered Kagan,
“
Tell me ye are still intact.
”

Andra's heart shattered and she knew that was all Kagan had wanted, her virginity. She bit her tongue and let it bleed so it would conceal the hurt she felt inside.

“
Do ye really want to know? Would it make ye send me away? Would ye see me as a whore if ye knew the truth? What say ye Kagan? Do ye want to know?
”
She dropped her eyes, afraid he would see through her crumbling defenses.

“
I will'na see ye as such e'en if he took from ye what should ha'e been mine,
”
he whispered,
“
What did he do?
”

“
What did'na he do?
”
Andra jerked away and turned on her heel. She forced her head not to sag and crossed her arms at her breast. She could not
bear
to see his reaction.
“
He forced me to do things against my will, all for the sake of his pleasure and my pain. My father insisted that I learn the lessons. I e'en tried to understand from a man's point of view. If it is a virgin ye want…
”