A Witch's Handbook of Kisses and Curses (31 page)

When he finally plunged between my thighs, I was already coming. I pulsed and rolled underneath him, my breath too short to scream his name properly. All I could manage was a series of exhausted whimpers. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, trusting him with my body as I had before, and let myself float away.

*  *  *

We stretched across the couch, Jed’s legs sprawled across mine. My hand trailed down a back that was still a pleasant human tone. Jed was breathing, deep and even at my side, while we both enjoyed a long, comfortable moment of silence. Of course, I couldn’t leave things alone.

“Am I crazy, or did you just shift into one of those things from
Avatar
earlier?” I asked.

“A Na’vi?”

“You were blue, and you had this weird tail and a cat lip.”

“Huh.”

“When was the last time you saw that movie?”

He shrugged. “I was flipping past HBO earlier this morning and stopped on it.”

“Tree of souls scene?”

He nodded.

“Bloody pervert. So you see a sex scene between two otherworldly creatures, and then we’re all snuggled up together, and . . .”

“So you think I turned into a Na’vi because I watched
Avatar
?”

“Yes, I do. And the first thing we’re going to do is remove
Aliens
,
Predator
, and all zombie movies from your DVD collection, because I am not prepared to deal with that. I don’t think you’re cursed, Jed. I think you’re some sort of were-creature. Only you’re not limited to one form. You can have any form you choose. But because you never learned to control it, the form is determined by whatever is happening in your subconscious.”

“So how do you explain the moonlight factor?”

“I honestly don’t think it applies. For one thing, that wasn’t the full moon. And second, the moon was shining on you earlier while you were asleep, and you didn’t shift until you woke up and saw that the curtains were open. I think it’s psychosomatic. If the witch all those years ago was some sort of sensitive, she might have been able to tell when your ancestor was getting ready to shift for the first time. She may have been able to use that, saying she was cursing him with ‘a thousand faces.’ When he shifted into some animal form for the first time, he was convinced it was a result of the witch’s curse. I would imagine he did it under the light of the full moon, making that connection in his mind. The next time a family member shifted, he blamed the curse, and the next, and the next. You were going to shift no matter what, but the witch just used the power
of suggestion against your ancestor to a devastating effect.”

“You’re going to explain what that means, right? In much smaller words?”

“Think about it this way,” I said, sitting up. “If you’ve been told all of your life that you’re allergic to peanuts, that everybody in your family is allergic to peanuts, you’re probably going to believe you’re allergic to peanuts. Especially if you frequently see your relatives having allergic reactions to peanuts. So when you’re exposed to peanuts, even if you’re not really allergic, you’re probably going to at least hive out a little bit. Which would reinforce your belief that you’re allergic, and that will start the cycle all over again. Does that make sense?”

“No, and now I really want a Nutty Buddy.”

“Your brain has tricked you into thinking you’re allergic to moonlight. You can probably shift anytime you want, into anything you want. Frankly, I’m amazed that no one in your family has accidentally shifted during the day or fallen asleep outside before.”

“Well, this isn’t something we talk about a lot.”

“Really?”

“Do you run around your village telling everybody about your witchy stuff?”

I nodded. “Among my family members, yes. We talk about it all the time. Soccer and magic, those are the main topics of dinner conversation. Sometimes both together, which would be my aunt Penny making comments about David Beckham that make the rest of us uncomfortable.”

“Well, we don’t talk about it. On full-moon nights, we shut ourselves inside our houses and pretend it’s because we want to watch TV or play cards.”

“Fine, you’re poorly adjusted, I get it. Try shifting now.”

He frowned. “I can’t just change.”

“Why not?”

“Just think about whatever form you’d like to assume, and change. Feel the energy flowing up from the ground, into your legs, and spreading up through your body. Picture that energy filling in all the places between your cells and changing your shape into whatever you wish.”

Jed rolled his eyes. “Hippie.” He squinched up his face, as if he was concentrating, but then his features relaxed. Nothing. He squinted again, seeming to try harder. But nothing.

I patted his hand. “Don’t worry, I hear this happens to a lot of guys.”

He whacked me over the head with a pillow. “Shut it, you!”

*  *  *

For the next three days, the hours in which I wasn’t retracing every step I’d taken since I’d arrived in the Hollow were filled by working with Jed on his shifting. And by that I mean I called out random animals and monsters to see if he could change on the fly. It took some concentration, overcoming decades of belief in how the shifting worked, but eventually, he was able to see it as a biological function and not something that happened to him.

Jane, of course, saw this as an opportunity to research. She looked into shape-shifting from every culture. She brought over books by the barrow load. Jed was overwhelmed. After watching the process a few times, we came to the conclusion that Jed’s ability worked like a hologram. He never actually changed shape. The cells realigned to project an image, a defense mechanism against predators, like a chameleon, only in Jed’s case on a much larger scale. He could change size and shape entirely, but beneath the image, he was the same adorable redneck.

Jed was faster and stronger than the average person, which was helpful. While his physical form didn’t change, there were limits to what Jed could do. As long as the size and shape were close to his own and humanoid, he could master them. But he couldn’t become an actual animal or another person. The image of the other person’s face flickered back and forth over his own until it made bystanders vaguely ill, like an unsteady picture on TV.

Jed spent a lot of time on the phone with his parents, asking questions, informing them of our discoveries. It took him a few days to grasp that there was no cure for his “condition,” because he wasn’t actually cursed. He was a genetic anomaly, like were-creatures or people who could curl their tongues. Understanding that potentially he could eventually control it, he seemed to be more accepting of it.

I was sure there was an object lesson in there somewhere, but I chose to ignore it.

*  *  *

At this point, it shouldn’t have surprised me when I found myself with Mr. Wainwright, floating down a canal in Venice in one of those old-fashioned gondolas. A man in a ridiculous straw hat and a red-and-white-striped shirt was guiding the boat along, singing a throaty song of lost love and heartbreak. The canal water smelled rusty and pungent, certainly not somewhere you’d want to swim. But it provided a beautiful backdrop for the tidy rows of aged, fading-pastel houses.

“Hi, Grandpa.” I sighed, easing against his side as the water lapped lazily at the hull of our boat. He patted my shoulder in a sort of half-hug made awkward by the fluffy red-and-yellow cushions of the gondola seat.

“We’re finally comfortable with calling me Grandpa?”

“Seems rude not to,” I said, shrugging.

“So it has nothing to do with any sort of fondness you may feel for me?” he asked.

“Nah,” I said, shaking my head while my lips twitched.

“So how goes the search?”

“Still no luck,” I told him. “I’m sorry.”

“You haven’t anything to be sorry for,” he admonished me, tapping a finger against the tip of my nose. “Unless you’ve given up. Have you given up?”

“No,” I muttered. “I am nothing if not obnoxiously persistent.”

“You get that from my side,” he said. “Along with a healthy dose of bravado. Now, tell me, how are you feeling, really?”

“Like I’m running out of time and ideas and places to
look,” I told him. “Oh, and I’ve some inconvenient feelings for a man who can transform himself into various sorts of wildlife.”

“Feelings can’t be inconvenient,” he said. “They’re just feelings.”

“For someone I’m not entirely sure I should trust,” I added grumpily as the gondola bobbed in the currents of the canal.

“You don’t entirely trust him,” he said. “Give him a chance to prove you right or wrong. At least you’ll know you’re making an informed decision.”

“I can’t believe I’m taking dating advice from my dead grandfather.”

“Smart-ass,” he scoffed, elbowing my ribs. “You spend a lot of time trying to make things come to you, Nola. Maybe it would best to sit back and relax and
let
something come of its own accord.”

“Because it’s the opposite of everything I hold dear?’ ” I asked.

“When you tried to force finding the Elements, did it work?” he asked.

“No,” I admitted. “Are you sure you couldn’t just drop me a hint or two about where you left the bell?”

“I could, but where’s the fun in that?”

“Even the subconscious versions of my relatives mock me.” I sighed, resting my head back on the fluffy pillows.

“Keep your eyes up and open, Nola. You never know what you might find.”

Magic is a living, breathing cycle. In other words, everything you do will come back to bite you in the end.

—A Guide to Traversing the Supernatural Realm

D
espite Mr. Wainwright’s assurances, in the wee hours of June 21, I’d lost nearly all hope. The shop was a mess. We’d overturned nearly every shelf and sorted through every box, just in case we’d missed something. Jane and Andrea and I were sprawled across the few chairs not covered in boxes and books. Dick and Jed had gone out to visit one of Dick’s less-than-reputable contacts.

“I can’t believe I actually fooled myself into believing I would find it.” I thumped my head against the chair. “I actually thought I’d be able to track down all four. How insane is that? I mean, how arrogant could I be?”

“Honey, you got three out of four,” Jed said, patting my arm.

“That’s a majority,” Jane added. “And hey, even if you can’t bind the evil ice skaters, at least they can’t bind you.”

“But the Kerrigans are going to have their powers returned
to them for the first time in two hundred years. That’s like giving an angry toddler an espresso and a box full of matches. You don’t know exactly how it’s going to turn out, but it’s probably going to end in flames and tears.”

“Also, I think Tonya Harding would be considered the evil ice skater,” Andrea said. “Nancy Kerrigan, no relation, was the victim.”

“I never liked her,” Jane said. “She reminded me a little of my sister. Big teeth, bigger ego.” She shrugged when Jed frowned at her. “Sorry, back to the point.”

“My family can’t leave Kilcairy.” I sighed. “The whole point of my coming here was to make sure we kept everyone safe so we could continue serving our neighbors. The McGavocks would never want to leave the farm, anyway. We’re going to have to get tougher, I guess, more aggressive.”

“You can have my Taser,” Jane offered. “And I’ll bet Iris knows where you can get them at a bulk discount. You could get one for every man, woman, and child in your village.”

“That might do it,” I said, chuckling. “Thank you both for all your help.”

“No problem,” Jane said. “But if you don’t mind, Andrea and I are going to retire for the morning.”

Andrea pushed to her feet and hugged me with a tenderness that had my eyes misting a bit. “We’re sorry to leave you, but if we stay out much longer, the sun will come up, and we’ll, you know, burst into flames. Which most people find very upsetting.”

“I’ll help her clean everything up,” Jed assured them. “You’ll be ready to open this evening.”

“Do you mind if I spend a little more time looking around?” I asked Jane. “If nothing else, I can pick up some of this mess. I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping anytime soon.”

“Sure,” Jane said, sifting through her purse and handing me her key ring. “Lock up when you’re done.”

“You’re giving me a key?” I laughed.

Jane’s lips twitched. “I think we’ve established that I can trust you. I’m sorry to run off on you, but again, spontaneous combustion.”

“Don’t be,” I told her. “You’re right. I’m just moping. If nothing else, I know the Kerrigans haven’t found the bell, either. Maybe I should just set fire to the other three and end this stupid feud.”

“Fire has been mentioned way too often in this conversation,” Andrea said, shoving Jane toward the door. “I’m switching you both to decaf.”

“Good night!” I called after them. I sighed and let Jed wind his arms around my waist.

“I don’t suppose you know of any magical tricks that would clean this room for us, huh?” he murmured into my neck.

I shook my head. “Does knowing the number for the Magic Maid Service count?”

“Probably not.” He sighed.