A Woman Gone Mad (21 page)

Allen comes bursting in all decked out and handsome in his tux. “Where’s that sister of mine at, Dad? I can’t find her anywhere. Mom said you were coming to get her.” His eyes fall on me. “Well hello, pretty lady. I’m looking for my sis. She’s about your height and your size and… WAIT! Lillian?”

“Shut up before I kick your ass, Allen.” I shuffle over to him and he wraps me up in a tight hug, kissing the top of my head.

“Kids—Lillian, you mostly because I haven’t heard Allen do it yet—stop saying bad words in church. Goodness gracious, I thought I taught you two better.”

“Right, Dad, because the three letters A-S-S are so much worse than Lil being with child out of wedlock.” Allen’s laugh reverberates though me. Happiness and giddiness envelope my heart and soul at our family banter, and it settles me because now I know that everything will truly be okay. I’m not losing them or moving to Thailand. I’m only getting married.

“I swear, you two alone are bad enough, but get you two together and it spells out trouble for anyone and everyone around.”

“That’s ’cause we kick as—” I give him a sisterly shin kick and he looks at me like I’m about to get the mother of all Indian burns from him. “Lil!!”

“I just saved your A-S-S, little bro. Now get that look out of your eye right now.”

His large hands wrap around my wrist. “What look?” They tighten and start circling in opposite directions.

“Allen! I swear if I have to walk down that—”

His laugh bounces off the walls of the room. “Calm down, calm down.” He brushes a kiss over my wrist. “Come on. Mom sent me back here to tell y’all it’s time…like fifteen minutes ago. Oops.”

“Okay, kids, let’s go before your mother kills us all.” Dad leads us out, and we are standing in front of the closed church sanctuary doors when Allen leans down and kisses my cheek.

“You really do look beautiful, sis. Let me know if you’re ready to bust a runaway bride by pulling on your right earlobe and I swear I’ll scoop you up and me and Robert will have you out of here in a flash.”

“Okay, will do.” I can’t stop myself from laughing, “I love you for that, Allen. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Son, get your tail in there. Your mom is going to kill us all at the reception if we don’t hustle, I know it.” My daddy and I are standing outside the doors right before they open and we’re facing each other. I know he sees fear creep into my eyes because it has come back full force. “I know this is as hard on you as it is us, but everything is going to work out, you’ll see. I love you so much, sweetie. You make me very, very proud. Always remember that, okay?” He’s using his big callused hands to straighten out my veil that’s bunched in front of my face from rough housing with Allen. “And also remember, at
ANY
time you think about letting Allen know you’re about to
bust
a runaway bride, you pull on your left ear too so I can help him and Robert with the getaway car.”

“Oh I will, Daddy, I promise… I will.” We stand side by side and the church director nods at us. Then both doors swing open. “I love you, Daddy.” My voice wavers.

“I love you too, sweet pea.” His hand pulls mine tighter around his arm and a sad smile dances on his face as he looks at my hand.

The wedding march begins as the church director holds up three fingers, then two, then points toward the altar. The grip on my daddy’s arm constricts, and for half a second he moves and I stay still until I feel him use all the strength in the arm I’m holding on to for dear life move me forward.

Yes, I regretfully must inform you, even though it doesn’t outwardly appear it, my daddy physically and emotionally carries me down the aisle.

I glance up and see Nick with a handsome smile on his face from ear to ear. He looks absolutely, devastatingly beautiful. Butterflies explode in flight, fluttering around in my belly, only to die a split second later as the beginning chords of ‘Butterfly Kisses’ seep from the speakers and pour into the church.

Thank God for not only veils but waterproof mascara because there is no holding back the tears. And I know if I try, the sob I have locked in my chest will pierce throughout this church building. So I let them fall. I let them fall and lean against my daddy, allowing myself to be his little girl one last time before I become Nick’s wife.

My mother is a wicked, wicked genius and I freaking love her for this. The lyrics continue, as do my tears…

My world stops as I listen to every word, in every verse.

“Her mother and I,” rips me from my childhood thoughts. My daddy lifts my veil. His warm hands cup my face and his thumbs brush away my tears. “Don’t cry, Lil. You’ll always be my sweet little girl, no matter what.”

After kissing my forehead, he lowers my veil and hands me to Nick. I can’t look at Nick. I’m scared to death of what will happen if I look up at all. Keeping my eyes down, I let myself go on autopilot with the keywords, “Lillian, repeat after me,” being the only alarm clock I set to wake up.

And then I peace out.

Nick and I say our vows, and amazingly it’s over as quickly as it began. Air rushes into my lungs for the first time since I saw those two blue lines.

Nick lifts my veil and smiles down with his silver-blue eyes sweeping across my face. It feels like he’s memorizing it, and his giddiness is so infectious that it’s wrapped all up into my heart and mind.

“Hey,” he mouths. Smiling, I mouth it back as the preacher tells Nick, “You may now kiss your bride.”

Immediately, Nick lifts me from my feet, and God love him, he doesn’t hold back with his kiss. In front of God, his entire family, and mine, my husband devours me, and the love that I have pushed and shoved away like it’s this all too soon pregnancy and wedding comes rushing back. Sliding my arms around his neck, I kiss him back with just as much passion and let everything else fade away.

Cheering from the crowd and the music that cues us to walk down the aisle pulls us apart.

“My God, you look beautiful, baby.” His twinkling eyes are going from thundercloud gray to sky blue.

“Me? What about you? I thought I was going to swallow my tongue when I saw you.” I steal another quick kiss before we turn and face our guests as the preacher announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Nicolas James.”

We go against all the rules during the wedding, and hell why stop now? It’s what we’ve always done. Nick wraps both of his long arms completely around the top of my shoulders and leads me down the aisle. No elbow crook looped with the bride’s hand on this exit.

And right before we walk out of the sanctuary, he turns us around and asks the entire guest list, “What? Y’all loved it, right? I know, she’s beautiful. Thank y’all for coming today to witness me become the luckiest man on the planet. Now let’s go celebrate it, shall we?”

I’m shuffled into the bride’s room right outside the sanctuary. Nick locks the door then turns around, and shit, he looks hungry!

“Nick? What are you doing? We still have to take pictures before we go to the reception. Baby, we gotta go.”

“Nuh uh, no way, Lillian James. You are mine, my wife. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

It’s tempting as hell, I’ll give him that. “Baby, my mom will kill you. She’ll only keep me alive long enough to deliver her a healthy grandbaby and then she’ll kill me too.”

Growling, he picks me up and sits us down in the dressing table chair. His hands are running across any and every inch of accessible skin. His warm breath and kisses running down my neck and across my bare shoulders has my eyes rolling back in my head. God he has to stop or we won’t make it out of here.

“Come on, we have to stop, baby. Hey?”

Another growl reverberates against me. “Why?” comes out through his gritted teeth.

Unable to stop laughing at his childlike rant that is mixing very oddly with his caveman presence and voice, I explain, “Because, husband, we have a photo shoot to smile for and then a wedding reception to attend. And mark my words, if you don’t delicately place that bite of cake in my mouth, you will wear your groom’s cake walking out of here. Amy and I already have it planned out. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

He’s laughing at me. “Put that in my what?”

“Your pipe. You know what, gahh. Never mind. Come on, before we get in trouble.”

Coming out of the bride’s room, we run smack into my mom. “Hey, Momma. Sorry, I had to—”

“Lillian, don’t. Nicolas, that was your last strike. Do you hear me?”

“What happened to my first two strikes?”

“I don’t play baseball by anyone’s rules but Katherine Shaw’s. Now both of you get your asses back up to that altar. We are taking these pictures and we will smile and everyone will look at them and think that we are one great big happy family. Now get.”

“Oh, Katie, come on. I already told the kids about using curse words in the Lord’s house. Doesn’t anyone—”

“Pictures, David. Altar. Now!”

It’s my wedding night, and Nick and I are back in the suite where we first made love.

Oh no you don’t! Don’t you ever look down your nose at Nick. Look down at me. Judge me, not him. Besides, I have school on Monday so that kind of puts a damper on the whole honeymoon thing, don’t you think? Yes school. See, I told you to look down on me—I still haven’t graduated yet. And up until I found out I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure I
was
going to graduate. Funny how shit like that will put your ass in gear, huh? So yes, I will be graduating in May. Not with honors by any means, but right now all I want is a diploma.

I’m standing in the bathroom, freshly bathed, shaved, and powder puffed. I have on a sexy little see-through pink nightie with a matching thong and a pair of two-inch bath heels with wispy feathers across the peep-toe that I begged my mother to shell out $195 for. And since it was the only thing I asked for concerning the wedding, she didn’t bat an eye.

My hair is still up but looser because I pulled most of the bobby pins out. I leave my face washed and clean of makeup other than a quick swipe of mascara and a dab of lip gloss before I make my way out to the room.

And once again, Nick has lit little candles on every surface in the room. No rose petals this time though. Just the single white lily he has in his hand.

Nick is absolutely breathtaking sitting on the edge of the bed. I literally can’t breathe. His tux shirt is completely unbuttoned and open, his tie undone and hanging from his neck. His cuffs are unbuttoned as well and hanging open. His long legs are stretched out in front of him, and he’s resting his elbows on his knees looking down at the lily in his hand.

His inky black hair looks like he’s been running his hands through them, impatiently waiting on me to finish up bathing and getting ready for bed.

“Hey.” His sky blue eyes shoot up to mine and widen then go all thunderclouds and become hooded and hungry.

“Lil, I’m keeping you locked up and in some form of lingerie for the duration of your life. From this night forward, you will be my sex slave. Sorry, babe. That’s just how it is.”

“You will do no such thing.” Walking up to him, I pull him up to stand in front of me running my fingers up his abdomen, feeling his muscles tense at my caress. Once my hands meet his shoulders, I push his shirt back. He tucks the lily behind my ear and leans down to kiss me. I love his kisses.

He kisses me like I am the most delicate thing in the world at first. Then, once our hunger takes over, it’s like we can’t get enough, like we’re starving and finally able to consume what we’ve been neglected. I push the rest of his shirt off then nudge him to sit back down. Unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants, I slide my hand in. A new, daring wife move, I wrap my hand around his warm, hard length, and with a sense of this-man-is-mine-to-do-with-as-I-please, I stroke him with sure and firm strokes.

“Lillian, baby, you can’t. I’m already about to lose it here.”

I shove him back and he lands leaning back on his elbows, watching me like he’s on the verge of coming off that bed and taking what now rightfully belongs to him. After kicking off my heels and tossing the thong, I crawl up his body, loving the way his muscles twitch and flinch at my licks, nips, and kisses.

I straddle his waist while wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing my front to his hard chest as his gentle hands slide up my bare arms and over my shoulders to cup my face. God, this man’s hands drive me insane. Leaning closer to my face, he pulls me down to his mouth, and this kiss doesn’t begin like I’m delicate. He’s hungry and so am I. We moan into each other’s mouth, our tongues dancing around each other. The heat coiling in my lower belly and core has me urgently rubbing the ache between my legs against his hardness.

“God, I love you. Thank you for being my wife… Thank you so much.”

He shuffles underneath me to get his pants and boxers off then pulls us farther up the bed to lean back against the headboard. My wet swollen sex starts to rub against his hard length on its own volition. I feel his fingertips slide up my thighs and over my abdomen, dragging my nightie up with them until his warm hands cup both of my heavy breasts. His thumbs circle my nipples and as he watches me through hooded thundercloud eyes.