A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (16 page)

Due: May 24

• • •

May 21

Arthur Bean

Apt. 16, 155 Tormy Street

Calgary, AB

Writers Write Now
Magazine

PO Box 134 Stn M

Calgary, AB

To whom it may concern,

There has been a mistake in the authorship of the winning entry for Terry Fox Junior High for the Junior Authors contest.

My name, Arthur Aaron Bean, has been attached to the story “Ghost Love Story.”

The real author is actually Robert Zack, although I helped him a lot with it, so my name should probably be mentioned too.

The author should probably read:
written by Robert Zack with help from Arthur Bean
.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Spring

By Arthur Bean

When spring comes, the windows get opened at home. The air is crisp and seeps into the couch and chair, and even though it's still too cold to open the windows, we do it anyway. My dad and I have to have blankets up to our chins to watch television, but neither of us will be the one to suggest closing the window. The living room feels brighter somehow. Maybe it's because the laundry gets put out on the balcony rather than blocking the fireplace and the dining room.

Spring smells.

It's like the whole city has turned into a farm. My dad says it's the wind coming off the farms outside the city, but I'm pretty sure it's just all the dog turds that people didn't pick up over the winter thawing out and getting stepped in.

This spring there is a change happening. Nicole convinced my dad to sign up for some kind of yoga class, even though he's never done yoga before. Nicole got a boyfriend and she says she's in love. Pickles has disappeared again, but you can still see some of her paw prints in the leftover snow outside the apartment building, so I know she's close by. She's so annoying, but I still like having her around.

I only have one sleeve left to finish on the sweater I'm knitting. I wish my mom were here to see me wear it.

Dear Arthur,

I enjoyed how you focused on the changes that happen in your apartment and not just on the natural changes happening outside.

I appreciated your honest and straightforward description. I hope you finish your sweater soon; I would love to see it!

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

REMINDER:

Your short stories (that we began back in February) are due on June 6; that's just two weeks away. I'm certain you have all been working hard on your stories, and I'm sure none of you will be writing frantically this weekend (hint hint). Feel free to speak to me if you have any questions, and please make sure to spell-check and proofread your story before handing it in!

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

May 24th

Dear RJ,

All I do these days is write about things that I don't want to write about. I wonder if famous authors ever hate writing too. Although, at least they get millions of dollars to do it.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

May 25

Writers Write Now
Magazine

PO Box 134 Stn M

Calgary, AB

Arthur Bean

Apt. 16, 155 Tormy Street

Calgary, AB

Dear Mr. Bean,

We have received your letter regarding the authorial change on the Terry Fox Junior High submission for the “Junior Authors” edition of
WWN
magazine. In order to make such a change, we need a letter from the school, as well as a letter of affirmation from Robert Zack that he co-wrote “Ghost Love Story.” These letters may be emailed as attachments, and must be received before June 10 for the change to be made before the magazine goes to print.

Should you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me during business hours. My contact information is below.

Sincerely,

Erin Kennedy

Editor,
WWN
Magazine

Ph: (222) 539–8909

Email: ([email protected])

• • •

May 27th

Dear RJ,

Why is nothing easy? I try and do the right thing, and now it's even harder. I just want to disappear. It wouldn't be hard. I don't have anything left. I gave Robbie credit for his story AND my role as Romeo. Kennedy won't talk to me. Ms. Whitehead expects a story for class.

I did notice that a girl who has Kennedy's name manages the magazine. That's a sign that I'm doing the right thing, isn't it? I stole a piece of letter paper from the office today so that I can send in a letter. I bet a lot of that paper goes missing. I'm surprised they just leave it beside the printer. Kids could totally make new report cards if they wanted to.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: May 30th

Worked On: Story Ideas

first we worked on my graphic story, and artie helped me come up with a title. Im going to call it “Mosquito Plague” because its all about bugs invading peoples beds while they sleep and getting into their brains through their eyes and makeing them act like mosquitoes.

Then i helped artie try and come up with some ideas for his storey for class because he needed help not me. tables have turned haha

—Robbie

I concur.

—Arthur Bean

June 3rd

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

I don't have a story for our short story assignment. I have the ideas for a lot of stories, but I can't make them work when I try to write them. I think they all suck. I tried to write something, but I don't have any stories left in me. I'm sorry to let you down.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Dear Arthur,

I wish you had spoken to me sooner about your short-story assignment rather than waiting until the Friday before the due date.

In the future, please come see me sooner when you have difficulties with the assignment.

That being said, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way about your stories. I think you show real promise in being a writer, and it can be very difficult to get started (or get finished). Even famous writers often get bogged down in their own ideas, or question their work. Arthur, you are an excellent writer. Your poems are well crafted, you think creatively and you have a razor-sharp wit. Your story for the writing contest was one of the few that I read, but it was very well written. I can accept that story for your assignment.

Keep your chin up, Arthur! You still have the weekend to work on something. I know that writing can be very daunting, but keep moving forward!

Ms. Whitehead

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

I don't want to use that story for my assignment. I don't think it shows off my best qualities. I would rather take a zero.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Arthur, your story does not have to be long; a few pages will be plenty! Why don't you make a list of your story ideas, and we can discuss fleshing one of your ideas out into something more. Sometimes it helps to talk something through with another person to know what you want to say or where you want your story to go. Come see me after class and we can discuss this. I don't believe that you don't have a story in you!

Ms. Whitehead

Story Ideas

By Arthur Bean

See, Ms. Whitehead? I've got nothing.

• • •

June 6th

To Whom It May Concern,

Please excuse Arthur Bean from school tomorrow.

Thank you,

Ernie Bean

• • •

June 7th

Dear RJ,

Today is the anniversary of the day that Mom died. I didn't go to school today. I thought Dad would want to go to the cemetery again, but he didn't. He just went to some meditation class. He just left me here in the apartment alone. I thought dads were supposed to pay attention to their kids, not just do whatever they wanted. Why should I have to stay here by myself, totally alone?? What am I supposed to do today?? Why should I have to be by myself on the worst day of the year??? I hate him!!! I don't even want to be a person today. I would rather be a bug or something with no memory or even consciousness. Is it tomorrow yet?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: June 7, 19:52

artie u didnt sho for tutoring and i think i kno why. dude, i kno its not ok that ur mom is gone cuz it cant ever be ok. But if u want to play minecraft this week u can come hear if u want.

• • •

June 8th

Dear RJ,

I thought today would be a little better, but it's not. And now my dad is creeping around the house really quietly because I yelled at him yesterday and he doesn't know what to do either. So even though I didn't think it was possible, I feel even worse for making him feel bad. I know he is sad too. I think our sadnesses are too different from each other to really be sad together. Is that possible? Can two people miss the same person in different ways?

RJ, I don't know what I want to do. I thought it would be okay by now. It's been a whole year. But you know what, RJ? Robbie is right. It's never going to be okay. I just hope it can be easier. I can't be sad my whole life, can I? Maybe this year was just meant to suck. I don't even believe in fate, but I've got to put it down to something. So today, I'm going to believe in fate.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Erin Kennedy ([email protected])

Sent: June 8, 20:26

Dear Mrs. Erin Kennedy,

Here are the two letters that you need to change my name on “Ghost Love Story” to Robbie's name. One is an email, and the other is a real letter on real school letterhead.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Attachments included:
email; letter

From: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: June 8, 19:11

artie—Here is ur email saying that I wrote Ghost Love Storey. I wrote it and u edited it and stuff. Is that what u need? i didnt really know what u need it 4. Do u want a seequel LOL?

Also, r u going to the dance next friday? can ur dad give me a ride home? my dad said that he has a date that nite. can you believe that guy, having a girl friend after my mom left already??? he must be really good-looking. i must get my charm from him!

Robbie

Terry Fox Junior High

103 Camirand Drive, Calgary AB

Ph: (222) 274–7547

“Where perseverance meets excellence”

June 8

Writers Write Now
Magazine

PO Box 134 Stn M

Calgary, AB

Dear Erin Kennedy,

Please accept this letter as evidence that Terry Fox Junior High, “where perseverance meets excellence,” is aware of the author change on our submission for the Junior Authors edition of
Writers Write Now
magazine. The author of “Ghost Love Story” is Robert Zack, with help from Arthur Bean. Thank you for making this change last minute. Remember that both names could still be published on the story if you want.

Yours truly,

Ms. A. Whitehead

An English Teacher

• • •

June 13th

Dear RJ,

I asked Mr. Everett if I could review
Romeo and Juliet
this week. This is my chance to apologize and show Kennedy how much she means to me. I hope she's good, because I'm really tired of lying. I also sent stuff to the magazine. I guess it's okay. I'm kind of glad that my first story with only my name on it will be my real story, not someone else's. I actually feel a little better, even better than when I won.

I wonder if Kennedy will like me again when she sees that I fixed it. I hope so. I mean, I didn't really have to fix it. Robbie said that I should send her a bouquet too, but I looked when we were at the store and flowers are so expensive! I guess I'd better do that though. I have to do something nice!

Also, I came home today, and there were a couple of new books on my bed. One was about writing novels, and one was a knitting-for-guys book. My dad didn't say anything, but I thanked him anyway. They both look pretty cool, and he said that he bookmarked the hat he wants me to make for him.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

June 14th

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

I never handed in a story, but I think I have something that I can do. Is it okay if I hand in something this week? I know I said I would take a zero, but I'm pretty sure that real writers wouldn't do that. Maybe you won't even take any points off because it will be so good!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Arthur,

Of course, I will accept your late submission. I'm glad that you were able to find some inspiration this week. Please note though, that I will have to deduct some points for tardiness. It's only fair to the rest of the class. I look forward to reading your story.

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

A Standing Ovation for
Romeo and Juliet

By Arthur Bean

Terry Fox Jr. High was treated to the saddest version of
Romeo and Juliet
ever performed this past weekend. The drama club has been working on the production for most of the winter, and their hard work has definitely paid off.

First off, the set was cool. Mr. Tan decided to set the play like it was today, and so the set looked like two colorful apartment buildings, complete with the balconies needed for a proper version of
Romeo and Juliet
. The chorus changed the scenes efficiently, using black cloth to create the tomb and the scenes with the friars. The contrast of colors to black also set the mood of the scenes very well.

Also, the acting was very realistic. Mr. Tan had a small cast who split many of the smaller roles. Through costume changes and a change in the way they walked, each character was very recognizable, even for audience members who have never read the play, like my dad. Benjamin Crisp was hilarious as the nurse, especially when there was a costume problem and his skirt fell off. His quick wit and improv skills really came in handy.

But no one could steal the show from the very talented Kennedy Laurel, who played Juliet. She spoke her lines as though they were written today, and made the audience truly believe that she loved Romeo. It was hard to believe that the girl in the ball gown is the same athlete who is so competitive on the volleyball court. Robbie Zack (Romeo) was easy to understand, and he was really good in his role, especially since he didn't start rehearsals until April. Their scenes together were strong and believable, and the audience was very sad when they both died at the end. Even my dad cried a little bit, although he said it was just hay fever. It was a five-star performance from the drama club, and for those of us lucky enough to have seen one (or all) of the three sold-out performances, it was a play to be remembered.

Excellent review, Arthur! I'm glad to see that you were able to be so objective about the play. With one issue of the Marathon left, would you like to write an article on your experiences this year? I was thinking a kind of quirky “year in review” opinion piece. Why don't we call it “Arthur Unknown”? Cheers!

Mr. Everett

• • •

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: June 16, 18:05

Dear Arthur,

Thanks for your glowing review of
Romeo and Juliet
. You wrote really kind things and it was nice to read it. Also thank you for the bouquet. The roses were a surprise on my dressing-room table, and your card was sweet. At first I thought they were from Sandy LOL!

I still think what you did was really wrong. Robbie told me that you fixed it in the magazine, which was the only right thing to do. Still, I can't believe you would do that in the first place! Next year you HAVE to be my partner in the competition so that I KNOW that you aren't cheating!

Anyway, thanks for the review and the flowers. I really liked both of them, and I accept your apology on the card.

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: June 16, 18:26

Dear Kennedy,

I'm so glad you liked the flowers! They were really expensive too! My dad said that roses were my mom's favorite flower and he helped me find the perfect ones! I really meant everything on the card. I think you did amazing and I'm sorry to have let you down. You were great as Juliet, and I really believed that you and Robbie were in love. So you must be a great actress, right? Ha-ha-ha. You aren't dating Robbie though, are you? I mean, you guys are still just friends, right?

Maybe you and me and Robbie can go to a movie or something together as friends? I think that could be really fun. My dad can probably drive us there. He's been going to yoga almost every night and his studio is right by the movie theater.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

June 17th

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

Here is my short story. Thank you for the extension and for helping me find a story. It was nice of you to do that.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

The Ballad of the Cat Thief

By Arthur Bean

This is the ballad of Artie the Witty,

The evil Frank Dack and Pickles the kitty

And a rescue so daring it made it to lore

(But don't worry, ladies, there will be no gore).

Frank wants Artie's cat and he wants her so badly

She reminds him too much of his now dead cat Bradley.

Listen up now to our kitty tale's genesis.

(You must understand that this guy's Artie's nemesis.)

Because Frank is evil, he does some quick plotting

And steals away Pickles without anyone spotting!

He shows Pickles to Sophie, the girl of his dreams.

Whose love of cute kittens makes her coo, squeal and scream!

But Artie is ruined! He can't get more sad.

(It's not looking good for this good-looking lad.)

The weekend goes by; Artie sinks in despair.

His cat has gone missing. The world is not fair!

But come Monday morning while walking to school

Artie hears a faint noise from the house by the pool.

He stops for a minute—by golly, it's true!

That sound is from Pickles! He can tell by her “mew”!

He checks out the mailbox…Frank Dack lives inside!

Artie's got so fired up that his insides feel fried!

He must find a way to get his kitty cat back!

He stops and he thinks and he plans his attack!

Artie waits until night and sneaks into Frank's house.

He's dressed as a ghost and as quiet as a mouse.

He stands in the hall while he wails and he moans.

He jiggles door handles and wavers his tones.

He plays with the curtains and throws stuff around,

But Frank is unswayed by the spookiest sounds.

“You're not really a ghost!” he calls out to the hall.

“I know you're a person who's stupid and small.