Abithica (16 page)

But no. Instead of stretching down, pecking at one seed and flying away the way juncos always did, the peck was more of a playful nudge at my hand! Then—of all things—a rare Aztec Thrush zoomed in and landed right next to it. Then a Northern Cardinal! Thrushes and cardinals were
nothing
if not jittery, especially cardinals. If I stretched my pinky all the way out, I could touch this one’s scaly feet. I yanked my hand away, but the trio of birds didn’t even flinch at my sudden movement.

First children, and now birds?
I could almost hear God giggling. Curve ball, hell! This was more like a reverse twist sinker with a hiccup, if there was such a thing. I reached out to the cardinal with a shaky finger, wondering what would boggle my mind more, getting pecked or being able to stroke its feathers. Stroking it, probably. That would be the last thing I’d ever imagine happening, but my imagination was in for a surprise. It hopped right onto my finger like a trained parrot. The other two birds quickly shifted sideways on the can rim as if waiting in line for their turn. The thrush actually bumped its rival.

“Sydney?”

No mistaking
that
deep, baritone voice, but what was Lane doing back here so soon? For the briefest of moments, I was stunned. Then it hit me. No more waiting! He was here, and that’s all that counted. I wouldn’t even bother with words. I’d just walk right up to him and kiss him like he’d never been kissed before. This was my big chance to change things, and maybe connect with Sydney at the same time. That’s how it had been with Tom. His kiss, and everything that came with it, had gone right through me to Claire. Sydney would be no different. She’d feel whatever I felt.

But Lane froze in mid-step before I could as much as take a deep breath. “Are you… is that a… cardinal sitting on your finger?”

Oh my God… the bird! My brain’s motor control had just shifted out of cardinal-drive and into full-ahead Lane, when it was told to shift right back again. I stood there like a dork. How could I have forgotten? Just then my new red friend let out a cardinal-type warble, bobbing its head up and down and looking straight at me.

The shock on Lane’s face was almost comical, but none of me was laughing. I stretched my hand as far away from the rest of me as possible and tried to look just as surprised as he did.

“I know. It has to be someone’s pet. I was going to feed it… then it sorta… you know… just hopped on. Really strange.”

But Lane was gaping at the other two birds, still there on the seed-can rim, not at the cardinal. Uh oh, time to switch into full bird-drive. Up to this point Lane hadn’t moved, but as soon as he did all three birds flew off, and my brain returned in a rush.

Pretend it’s nothing unusual. You know that works, that people will play along. Better yet, find out why he’s back here so soon. Get his attention back on you.

I sauntered over as casually as possible while he was still gawking at the sky. My big kissing scene had flown with the birds, but the very next opportunity…

“Mr. Riley, you seem to have forgotten that it’s polite to knock or ring the doorbell when calling on a girl. A little warning would have been nice, too.”

He finally tore his gaze away from the sky and looked down. “I did knock, but you didn’t answer, so I walked back here to knock on the kitchen door, and…” He glanced back at the empty sky, shaking his head. “That was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.” He took my hand, and that helped get me driving straight again. “Anyway, I didn’t come back here to upset you. I decided it was time I took you to a movie, just you and me. In fact, I’ve already picked it.”

“But I thought you had to work today. That’s what you said.”

“I called the county office, and it’ll be tomorrow before they issue the permit I need to begin the project.”

No more talk
.
Pull his head down and give him a kiss he’ll never forget! Come on, do it. You know how.
I shifted into “park” instead. “What about Shae? Don’t you need to pick her up from school?”

“That doesn’t sound much like the very scary person I was warned about,” he grinned, “the one living here in this house. Here I was, all ready to defend myself against a vicious attack, and what do I hear instead but concern about my little sister. It so happens that my nice, trustworthy aunt is going to pick her up from school and take her to her counseling session. Christie does that all the time, taking care of Shae until my work day is over. Shae stays there until I pick her up. Even has dinner with Auntie Christie. Now, how’s that movie sound?” He waited all of five seconds. “If I told you it was a red hot romance, would that help? It’s rated PG-13. Might have to talk to you seriously about such adult topics before we see it.”

He waited, grinning, but I was still in “park.” First the birds, then his showing up, and now the movie proposition? Everything was suddenly wrong—my kissing him, responding to him. Too much all at once. “I… I don’t—”

“If a movie sounds too stressful, we could do something more neutral for our first date, like a hike, for instance?”

“When exactly did this become a date?”

“The moment you agreed to go, just now.” His grin went from straight to crooked.

* * *

The Old Baldy’s trail was steep and strenuous, not to mention slippery with pine needles, and the crisp December air showed our breaths. Lane was a lot easier to talk to when he was ahead of me on the trail. Maybe it was because he’d gotten me talking, and in the process divulged some interesting facts about himself.

“So you’re twenty-three and never had a girlfriend? Why do I find that so unbelievable?”

“No, I didn’t say that.” He shook his head. “I’ve had lots of friends who were girls. I just never found one I wanted stay with. How about you? Boyfriends?”

You can’t mention Max.
“Nope, not by
my
definition. Never had any friends at all, until I met you and Faith. And Shae.”

He stopped climbing. “Hold up, Sydney. Look, I’m not much for playing games and you just said two things that don’t make sense.”

“Funny, it’s all made sense to me.”

“Earlier you were talking about other hikes in other places. Now you’re saying you never had boyfriends, or friends at all, and yet you can’t remember your own mom or your childhood? And what’s up with referring to your mom as a friend? I don’t get it.”

I had nowhere to hide unless I bolted down the mountain like a frightened deer. Instead, I stared straight ahead, searching for a way out. He came up behind me.

“I’m not your enemy, Sydney. I just want to help. What horrible things have you been through? What happened to make you forget?”

“You agreed not to ask quest—”

“Yes. Yes I did agree to that… I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, but you see, I’m a
guy
! You’ve heard about us. We’re known for fixing things, along with some other traits I hope we’ll explore together, maybe a little later.” He tried looking forlorn, but failed, giving way to a sheepish grin. “To make matters worse, I fix things for a living.”

“So?”

“That means the fixing instinct is strong in me, not even factoring in how crazy I am about you. When you add that last ingredient, I’m way off the charts. As you can see, I’m fighting a God-given instinct here.”

“Lane, I’m broken,” I whispered, “You know… Humpty Dumpty. I can’t be fixed.”

He immediately pulled me hard against him, wrapping his arms around me, engulfing me in his masculine scent and making me acutely aware of his erection. How long had it been there? Suddenly it made no difference—it was right. It was
him!
He held me that way, pressing against me, tenderly stroking my hair. “Let me help you, Sydney. Broken things are my specialty.”

He was talking to me, yes, but he was seeing and feeling
her.
I willed my soul to expand until it filled her body so completely it smothered any lingering trace of her, then turned my imagined powers on him. Feel
me,
Lane. Me! I pulled him down with both hands until our mouths welded together. Everything I wanted to say was poured into that kiss. It would tell him things I could never say out loud.

His intensity matched my own. He backed me up against a tree trunk, gently lifting me so I could wrap my legs around his waist. His nose was cold, but his kisses lit the tender skin of my neck on fire. I had both hands entwined in his curls for leverage as I ground against him, searching for a way to get even closer. Even when the first kiss was over, but briefly, neither of us spoke. He was back for more, and more, and more. I’d almost succeeded in driving Sydney completely off the mountain when Lane broke off and threw his head back.

“Oh, Sydney, I want you so bad…”

Ah… hell! That did it! My frustration came roaring in. This had nothing to do with Sydney and everything to do with my being the butt of God’s humor. Of course Lane would say her name. I
had
no name—no name, no body, no way out.

“I’m… I’m… sorry,” I said, immediately embarrassed over how hot and cold I must be looking to him. “I shouldn’t have… come at you that way. It wasn’t right.”

There were beads of sweat on his temples, and I saw how he was trying to control his breathing. “Do you realize how much your eyes and body language keep telling me something completely different? Whew! Where did you learn to kiss like that if you’ve never had boyfriends?”

“Natural talent and I read a lot.”
And how about you, with your zero girlfriends?

He suddenly grabbed our backpacks. “We should go.”

Our way back down the mountain was made without a word being spoken. He stopped me just as I was getting into the pickup. “I have to say this, Sydney, so please try to understand. A small part of me… a very small part… is glad you stopped me up there, because some day I’m going to be listening as you tell our children about our first date, and I’d hate to hear any regret in your voice.”

Was that Sydney laughing? It certainly wasn’t me. He was moving way-y-y-y too fast, which meant I’d have be the one who put on the brakes, and nothing I’d said had made the slightest dent. The problem was that he’d found my emotional ON-OFF switch, located in a spot I couldn’t reach. It was ON, and there was nothing I could do about it.

* * *

Two hours later we stood in Faith’s kitchen with a pile of ingredients strewn across the counter. He was now focused on cooking dinner as a way of thanking Faith for setting up his “chance” arrival. At that point I no longer cared that the whole thing had been contrived. Faith was being Faith, and it had given him the opportunity to plead his case with me.

I quickly amended my idea of Heaven to include forever cooking with Lane, even though he was a little pushy in the kitchen and liked to bark orders. In his words, no kitchen could have two captains, just like a ship. At first I was curious about a man who could cook, but my curiosity soon turned to awe. He was really good at it!

He’d decided on chicken parmesan, making it seem like I’d had a say in it. “We’ve got an hour, so you tackle the salad and garlic bread and I’ll take command of the chicken.”

“Yes, SIR!” I saluted.

“No uneven tomato slices,” he lectured. “Everything should be bite size and pleasing to the eye. It’s all about presentation.” With that, he slid a head of lettuce my way.

“Yes sir, yes sir.” I was actually having fun.

He took a few minutes to load Faith’s audio system with some discs he’d brought in from his truck, and I was soon swaying to the magic of Muse while he beat the tar out of the chicken with a meat tenderizer, in perfect synch with the drums. I don’t think I’d laughed once since becoming Sydney, but when he put down the tenderizer and used both hands on my rump for the percussion, I couldn’t stop. Everything he said and did made him my polar opposite, with that “I don’t give a damn if it offends you or not” attitude. I felt free working alongside him, like a caterpillar who suddenly realizes she has wings.

Suddenly he stopped paddling me. “You have a great laugh. It sounds like… like… bells.”

“Really? Bells? Oh, you’re just saying that.”

“Laugh again.”

“Lane, I can’t just… you know… laugh. It has to be spontaneous.”

“What happened to yes sir, yes sir?”

“Oh,” I said, standing straight and throwing my shoulders back. “We’re back to that, huh? Yes sir, yes sir!” I saluted and laughed as ordered.

That made him smile. “Okay, made your point. Shae says I’m a little pushy when I cook. I guess she’s right. It’s just that… your laugh…” He stepped in closer. The tiniest hairs all over my body did their best to bridge the remaining gap. Was he going to kiss me? I swallowed in anticipation, closing my eyes and parting my lips as he brushed my hair out of my eyes and lifted my chin.
Any second now. Get ready.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

Ouch! The kiss that was to be mine flew away like one of those birds in the backyard. His compliment belonged one hundred percent to
her!
Why hadn’t he said something about the way
I
affected him, or that he was so drawn to
me
, or that he couldn’t think of anything but
me?
That would have worked. Besides, Sydney wasn’t beautiful, not by my standards.