Absolution (Mr. Black Series) (9 page)

She closed her eyes, and laid her head on my shoulder.

In a flash, a wave of heat overtook me. Not from lust, nor from love, but from the anger I felt toward her naïve answer. I slid her off me and laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

“Damn it, Adeline, this isn’t a game for me. Don’t you get it? Why didn’t you think about Ezra before you came up here? How dare you come in here and think that I’m just available to you at your whim?”

I turned toward her, searching for some sort of reaction and found none. Angry, I whipped out of bed and headed for the door, holding it open as I motioned for her to leave.

ADELINE

For a paralyzed moment I was unable to move. My senses returned to me as I gathered up the rumpled sheets and stood up, wrapping the covers around my nakedness as I moved toward the door. I paused as I stepped in front of him, only to feel the intensity of his anger, which surrounded him like a force field.

I looked at him and whispered, “I’m sorry.” My eyes began to fill with tears.

COLE

I watched her walk down the stairs, the sheet trailing behind her like a long evening gown. I slammed the door so hard the shockwave reverberated throughout the old, creaky house.

I stared at the bed, replaying the last few moments in my head. The covers still hung off the edge, while her panties and dress were strewn about the floor. I angrily wiped my mouth, trying to remove the taste of her wine from my lips.

Women!

The adrenaline still pumped through me, and I longed to run out of the room and take her into my arms to continue what she had started, but I wouldn’t be played for a fool any longer. I did it with Catherine, and I'd be damned if I did it with her.

I walked to the window and picked up her dress and panties from the floor, flinging it onto the bed. The animal in me paced back and forth, and in a collision of emotions, I punched the thin drywall, creating a dent and leaving an imprint of my knuckles in blood. Realizing what my anger had done to the wall, I realized it was probably a good idea to sleep elsewhere tonight.

I pulled a black duffel bag out of the closet and packed what I would need for the night, got dressed, and left the house, slamming the door behind me.

ADELINE

How could I be so stupid?

Tears flowed down my face as I walked into my room and closed the door quietly behind me. I rested my forehead on the hard wood door. Then walked to my bed and sat down on the floor, tightly gripping the sheet; it was the only thing I had left of Cole. Every turn I had made to get to this point became excruciatingly clear.

He loves me…but do I love him? Am I ready to lose him? Why did I do this?

The questions rolled around in my mind like marbles knocking against one another. The questions, accompanied by the vast amount of alcohol that still had yet to dissipate, caused me to cry uncontrollably.

I jumped when I heard a loud thud come from Cole’s room. I stood up and walked over to the door, pressing my ear to the wood, wondering what was happening. A few moments later I heard the front door slam shut. I quietly opened my door and peeked out, still wiping the tears cascading down my cheeks.

I couldn’t hear anything, so I stepped into the hallway. The floor creaked underfoot, the usually meek sound amplified by the silence of the house. Moving slowly toward the staircase, I peered up to see his open door.

Did he leave?

I walked up the stairs and peeked in to see the bed still in disarray, my panties and dress lying on the bed. I quickly rushed in to grab them, but my jaw dropped when I realized what had created the loud thud I heard right before the front door slammed. The dent in the wall said it all. Shocked, I dropped the sheet, which left me completely exposed as I walked over to the wall. I ran my fingertips over the dent, trying to imagine how mad I could have made him, to cause him to do this.

What have I done?

I was beside myself with grief, feeling lost and alone, knowing it was all my fault. I fell to the ground and sobbed.

I should have never come in here drunk
.

Not knowing what else to do except cry, I laid down on his bed clutching onto the dress. I stared out the window, contemplating the situation, eventually falling asleep.

Still naked when I woke up the next morning, I opened my eyes to find Cole standing over me, handing me the sheet to cover myself with. I quickly got up and snatched it out of his hands. Not that he hadn’t already seen or felt all of it the night before, but now that I lacked the liquid courage, only my insecurities were left to bear the burden of my actions. He turned and disappeared down the stairs as I frantically tried to think of what I
could
say to him. What I
should
say to him.

I found there was nothing but regret, which was probably not the best thing to bring up at this point. I walked slowly down the stairs to catch him standing by the front door. His demeanor was solemn, then quickly shifted as he caught sight of me exiting the room. His anger swept across the house like a hurricane, wild and fierce; introducing me to a side of him I had never met before.

“So what happened last night?” I asked him. “I didn’t plan it. I was drunk and it just happened,” I said in a cracking voice as I rubbed my forehead.

“So now I’m only good enough for you when you’re drunk?” he asked.

“No, that’s not what I meant. Stop twisting my words!”

“Twisting your words?
Stop twisting my heart!
” he said. His voice broke a little as his eyes became glassy with tears.

“I’m sorry.”

“When are you going to realize Ezra is not coming back?”

I glanced up the stairs, wishing I could turn back time.

He shook his head. “I have to go to work.”

I watched him walk out of the house and slam the door. I took a shower to try and wash away last night’s events. But the harder I scrubbed, the more I realized that nothing was going to change the fact that I had just ruined the relationship we had been forming. I got out of the shower and wiped away the fog from the mirror, staring at the person who had ruined everything…myself.

I exhaled. Deflated. Nothing would undo the damage I had already done. I went to my room and slipped into bed, pulling the covers over my head. I needed some air. The house was suffocating me, so I got up, got dressed, and headed out of the door to walk and clear my head.

CIND
A’
FUCKI
N’
RELLA

COLE

Elijah put down the phone as I walked into the office. His face looked as though he had seen a ghost.

“What is it?” I asked.

“The MPs just called. Catherine tried to hang herself in her cell.”

“What the fuck? Call them and tell them I’m on my way,” I said, running out the door.

Elijah yelled out the door. “She’s at Balboa Hospital, she’s not in the brig.”

I waved at him, acknowledging what he said. I drove off base and down the 5 freeway to get to the Naval Hospital.

I ran to the nurse’s station. “Catherine Dahl?”

“Room 147,” she said, pointing down the hall.

I ran down the hall, scanning the room numbers as I went. Finally finding her room, there were two MPs guarding her door. I flashed my ID and walked in.

She opened her eyes and looked over at me. “She’s pretty, Cole.”

“Why did you do this to yourself?” I replied, sitting down in the chair next to her.

“You don’t need me around. You’ve already replaced me.”

“How can I replace something I never had?”

“You never gave me the chance,” she said in a low voice.

“So all those years…that wasn’t a chance? You had one foot out the door the entire time. Every time I left on a deployment you said you might not be there when I got back.”

“Your real love has always been the military. How can I compete with that?”

“I never asked you to compete with the military. That’s my career, there has always been a time limit to that. You were supposed to be the person I spent the rest of my life with.”

“We can try again,” she said, crying, covering her face with her hands.

I pulled her hands from her face. “There is no going back. Not now. Not after everything that has happened.”

The minute I rejected her request, her demeanor changed in an instant. “Fuck you, Cole! Get out of my room,” she screamed as she buried her face into a pillow and began to sob.

I stood up and walked to the door, shaking my head at the mess she had become.

ADELINE

I hadn’t walked there on purpose…

Okay, maybe subconsciously I knew Stella was the only one who could shed any light on what the hell was happening.

The minute I stepped into the shop, Stella could tell something was wrong.

“Gimmie one minute, suga’,” she hollered to me as she helped a lady try on shoes that were obviously too small, but the woman insisted that they fit.

“Ma’am, these are not your size. And I don’t have another pair like these,” Stella said.

“These are my size, and I’m gonna show you!” the woman said, half out of breath, trying to bend over to squeeze into the shoe.

“Well, you let me know how that turns out. I have another customer that I need to help,” Stella told the woman as she walked toward me and gave me a hug.

“First things first, where are my Louboutins?” Stella asked, her lips pursed as she waited for a response.

My eyes began to tear up when Stella yelled, “Oh my God, what happened to them? Did you lose one? I told you, your ass ain’t Cinda’fuckin’rella!”

“No, no, nothing happened to the shoes. It’s Cole,” I said, sobbing as I laid my head on her shoulder.

“What happened to Cole? Is he okay? Did Catherine beat him up too?” she asked, quite concerned.

“No, he’s fine. Well, as fine as he can be,” I replied.

“Okay, I’m not understanding. Come here and tell Mama Stella all about it, darlin’,” she said, putting her arms around me, rubbing my back.

“Well, after the ball…” I said, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

“C’mon, sit down right here, I’m listening,” she said, patting the seat next to hers.

The woman who had been trying on the shoes walked by us in a huff and said with a fair amount of attitude, “They didn’t fit.”

“I told ya’, boo!” Stella hollered, chuckling at the lady as she stormed out. “Some heifers!” Stella shook her head. “Okay, what happened to Cole?”

I composed myself and began to tell her the whole sordid story. “So, I got drunk last night.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait…a…minute! You got drunk in my Louboutins? Girl, if they got scuff marks…” she said, shaking her head.

“No, they’re fine.” I assured her.

“Okay.” She sighed. “Keep going.”

“He shouldn’t have kept buying the drinks…”

“Uh, uh, suga’ no one made you do anything you didn’t wanna do,” Stella said with vigor, her finger wagging at me.

“Okay, so the drinking…that leads me to the next thing,” I said, setting my gaze to the floor.

Stella threw her hands in the air and said, “Oh boy, here it comes! C’mon, spill it.”

“I had sex with Cole.”

“Oh! Is that all?” Stella asked. “I thought you done shot the sheriff or something.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean
is that all
? I said I had sex with Cole,” I said, surprised by Stella’s nonchalant reaction.

“Girl, I heard you! I have been waiting for that boy to make his move for weeks. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus. It was like a damn teenage love movie that would never end,” Stella said, fist pumping the sky.

“Huh?”

“Girl, how dense
are
you? That boy has been into you for weeks. I thought you knew. Cole’s fine as hell,
and
he’s sweet,
and
he can kill a man with piece of paper and a toothpick if you let him. You hit the jackpot with that one,” Stella said, nodding her head in agreement with herself.

“Wait, what about Ezra?” I asked, confused.

“Ezra wasn’t a good guy.” Stella replied as she picked up the shoes the woman left strewn about the floor. “So tell me what happened?”

“Why not?” I asked, interrupting her.

“Listen…you didn’t know everything about Ezra,” Stella said, shaking her head.

“What didn’t I know? As my friend, you need to tell me!”

“Girl…he wasn’t good for you. No reason to dredge things up. You’re finally moving on, let’s focus on that.”

“No…tell me!” I could feel my body start to get hot with anger.

“No! You tell me what happened first,” she said, heading toward the back of the store.

“No! You tell me why he wasn’t good,” I demanded.

“I don’t want to be the messenger, especially for something you can’t change. And I want you to know I only found out after he died,” she said, sitting back down next to me. “I don’t want you to think I was withholding anything from you.”

“If you don’t spit out the damn story,” I threatened.

“I heard…and I just heard…it could be a rumor.”

“What the fuck, Stella?”

“Fine! He was cheating on you,” she yelled.

“What?” I jumped back.

“I told you that you didn’t want to know. There ain’t shit you can do about it now. But at least you can move on and not feel guilty.”

I sat down and began to sob.

“That’s just fuckin’ great.”

“What?” she asked.

“Cole told me he loved me last night,” I whispered.

“Okay, and?”

“And now we aren’t speaking.”

“What!” Stella exclaimed. “That doesn’t even make sense. You went from A to G in two seconds flat. How bad are you in bed?”

“Well, I said that I didn’t know, because of Ezra, so he got mad and kicked me out of bed,” I said.

“Well hell, I would have gotten mad and kicked your ass outta bed too. The man has real feelings for you, and you finally give him some tail, then tell him that you don’t know if you feel the same because of another man. Basically you made him feel like a booty call. And no man wants a one-time booty call from the woman he loves. Wait, lemme rephrase that. He will take the booty call, but he don’t want it to be a booty call, sweetheart. He wants you,” she explained.

“Did he know about Ezra?” I asked.

“I dunno if he knew, but you should worry more about Cole than Ezra’s cheatin’ ass at this point.”

“I just never…” I said.

“That’s right, you just never. And that’s what’s wrong with you. You want this fairy tale Prince Charming romance mumbo jumbo, and he has been up in your house the whole time. And the joke’s on you, boo boo, because he has every right to cut his losses and move on. Cole is a good man,” she barked.

“I…I…” I stammered.

“Girl, get your scrawny, stammering ass up, and go get your man,” she said, pushing me toward the door. “Now go home and get your man, and bring my damn shoes back.”

I walked home slowly, processing everything that Stella had just told me. How could I be so dense as to not see that Ezra was cheating on me? And with who? I was at the front door before I knew it, and Cole’s car was not there.

God, I have really screwed everything up!

I waited around for hours to see if Cole would come home, but he didn’t. I fell asleep thinking about all the women I knew Ezra could have been sleeping with. For the life of me, I couldn’t think of one person who could do that…but then again, I didn’t think Ezra would cheat. So what did I know?

The moment my eyes closed, I was back at the beach, sitting next to Ezra.

I turned to him. “You were cheating on me?”

He looked out at the water.
Not all the time.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

It means what it means. Not all the time. You are a good girl, but sometimes a guy wants a bad girl.

“Did you really just say that to me?”

He turned to me.
You asked.

His face wasn’t the same face I was used to, the sweet face that I adored and loved so much only months before. He had the face of a cheating asshole who didn’t care about anything but the pleasure another woman was giving him.

“Who was it? Or were there more than one?”

Does it matter? Looks like you found someone anyway.

“Cole had nothing to do with this.”

Or does he?

He got up and walked into the water, glancing over his shoulder at me before disappearing into the waves.

“Wait!” I yelled as I shot up from my pillow.

I couldn’t believe it was the next morning already. I felt like I had just gone to sleep. I realized I had woken up to nothing. No alarm clock buzzing in my ear, and no Cole walking around, making the floorboards creak upstairs. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the alarm clock to see it was already ten-thirty.

My eyes widened as I ripped out of bed with a rush of adrenaline. I was officially two hours late for work. Imagining Rob angrily pointing at his watch, I tore through a pile of clothes in my dresser looking for my work uniform, which I finally found in the dirty clothes hamper. With everything going on, I hadn’t done any laundry.

Maybe this is a good thing. I’ll probably get fired, which will spur me to have to find a job I actually like.

I pulled out my phone and called the back office restaurant line as I tried to get the uniform on.

I was out of breath when Rob answered, “Hello, this is Rob.”

“Rob, it’s me, Adeline. I’m so sorry I’m late. My alarm clock…Cole…my dirty uniform…” I tried to explain as I continued to get dressed.

“Huh? Who’s Cole?” he asked.

“Oh, uh…that doesn’t matter. I’m getting ready right now. I’m not gonna look the greatest, but I’ll be there,” I said.

“What are you talking about, Adeline? You asked for today and tomorrow off,” he said, sounding confused.

“I did?”

“I mean, did you wanna pick up a shift? I could really use another hand around this place. It’s a zoo.”

I could hear the dishes clanging in the background and the distinct sound of a glass breaking. “
Ummm
, no…oh, I can’t hear…you…Rob. I think…
shhhh
…I have…
shhhh
…a bad connection.”

I hung up the phone before Rob could finish. “But you just―”

I fell backwards onto my bed with my legs and arms sprawled out, relieved that I could keep my treacherous minimum wage job another day. I realized I had another day to try to fix the mess I had created. I popped out of bed and slowly opened the door to my room, the creak making it hard to be inconspicuous as I peered out from behind the door.

Slowly I crept to the living room window to see if Cole’s car was parked on the curb in front of the house. It wasn’t.