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Authors: Kim Lawrence

BOOK: Accidental Baby
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‘I know her as the woman who came looking for Liam. . . the woman who followed him to Moscow The same woman Liam described in some letters as a cross between Joan of Arc and Marilyn Monroe.’ Abject misery was being kept at bay by a full-blooded fury. He hadn’t wasted much time.
‘Didn’t both those ladies share a certain vulnerability?’ Claudia shook her head slowly. ‘I’d say our Suzanna is armour-plated, but men do tend to see these things differently—especially when they’re not thinking with their brains, if you know what I mean!’
Jo knew
exactly
what she meant. The idea of Liam doing any of the things, the glorious, blissful things, he’d done to her to that. . . that. . . ! She couldn’t be sick, not here! She laughed and Claudia looked at her anxiously.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I actually felt guilty the last few times I refused to take his calls,’ she recalled bitterly. ‘Jessie painted a picture of a broken man who might do something desperate. Even allowing for Jessie’s sense of the dramatic I thought he might be feeling unhappy.’ Unhappy was the least he could do under the circumstances. ‘Well, whatever remedy Suzanna carries in her handbag it seems to have done the tnck.’
‘Hell! Now I know why I went into criminal law, not family,’ Claudia observed miserably. ‘Crime is relatively straightforward. Just as well you don’t take any notice of my theories.’
‘Isn’t it?’ Jo wasn’t about to admit that she had been quite entranced by the picture Claudia had painted. Entranced to the point where she’d been ready to bare her soul and her true feeling to Liam.
‘She puts something quite literal into the term “in your face”. Don’t you think?’ Claudia observed, grimacing as the blonde slid her arms around the man she stood behind and leant forward to smile seductively up into his face.
‘Liam doesn’t seem to mind.’ It was almost as if he heard his name.
‘He’s seen you!’ Claudia hissed ‘Follow me, I’ll take you out through the kitchens.’
The sympathetic looks and angry sympathy that accompanied her through the noisy kitchen made Jo quite glad she hadn’t understood the content of Claudia’s rapid explanation in Italian.
Emerging at the back entrance of the restaurant, she was breathless. She placed her hands on her head in an attempt to tame the fiery nimbus of curls which had gone a little wild in the steamy atmosphere.
‘Let me get my breath,’ she panted, leaning forward and bracing her hands against her thighs.
‘If Liam tries to go through there he’ll get a very unfriendly reception.’ Claudia laughed, rubbing Jo’s shoulder. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine.’ She shrugged away the concern impatiently. ‘What did you say to them. . . ? They won’t hurt him, will they?’ A vision of Liam’s beaten and bruised body floated horrifyingly before her eyes.
‘It’s nice to know you care.’
‘Delegation is all well and good but sometimes nothing beats the personal touch.’ Chin up, she managed to act as if the sight of him leaning nonchalantly against the metal barrier that shielded the small alcove at the rear of the restaurant from the car park hadn’t sent her nervous system into a frantic state of total chaos. ‘I don’t want to talk to you, Liam.’
‘I’d never have guessed.’
‘Won’t your friend be missing you?’
‘I expect she’ll find something to amuse herself with. Suzanna’s very resourceful.’
‘I’m so pleased the reports of your mental collapse were wildly overstated,’ she said, sounding anything but pleased. ‘It’s good to see you haven’t been bored. No, don’t go!’ She grabbed Claudia’s arm.
‘I’m not going far, I’ll hear you if you yell.’ She shot Liam an unfriendly look. ‘I don’t think I should be hearing this.’
‘My thought exactly.’ Liam’s nostrils flared as he recognised the panic in Jo’s green eyes.
‘Your thoughts are of no interest to me,’ she snapped, glaring at him.
‘Why does Claudia think you’ll need to yell? What exactly have you been telling her about me?’ His languid
pose, which hadn’t been very convincing to begin with, faded completely.
‘The truth would do, don’t you think?’
‘Your version of it, I assume.’
‘Don’t come over all innocent and misunderstood with me, Liam Rafferty—not after that little display in there.’
‘I’m promoting my book.’
‘Nice work if you can get it,’ she hissed nastily.
‘I’m working on the screenplay. Suzanna’s production company are making the film. She’s directing.’
‘It looked to me like she was participating. Incidentally, I don’t think that shade of lipstick is really you.’
Liam pulled his fist across his lips. ‘I’m learning from an expert. . . ’ his eyes narrowed in anger before his eyelids drooped suggestively over the twin lights of cynical blue ‘. . . at self-promotion.’ His smile held the cruelty their friendship had once protected her from.
‘I didn’t think you wrote fiction, I thought you just spouted it.’
‘I’m not really interested in discussing my career. Talk to me, Jo,’ he grated urgently.
‘Why? Nothing’s changed, except you’re being less discreet about your outside interests—don’t worry, I’m not complaining. As far as I’m concerned you can sleep with anyone you like, you’re a free agent.’
He looked anything but pleased by this magnanimity. ‘I’m married.’
‘You should be grateful you don’t have to go on pretending.’
‘I never pretended with you, Jo.’ He moved closer and she automatically inclined her head to maintain eye contact. ‘I didn’t have to.’ He placed a finger to the vulnerable line of her soft lips. ‘Why won’t you believe me?’
‘I should have known it would turn out like this after I
slept with you.’ Even knowing this, she felt every fibre of her being crave his touch Forcing herself to acknowledge this fatal flaw in her make-up was very hard. ‘I’ve seen the way you operate with women, Liam.’ She would find ecstasy and misery in Liam’s arms; she had to be strong and deny herself one in order to protect herself from the other.
‘Meaning. . . ?’ Underneath the dangerous calm Jo sensed the submerged, explosive anger.
‘You’ve never made a concession in your life towards the women you’ve dated. It was always on
your
terms; they had to do all the running
They
had to compromise, and when they did you promptly got bored.’
‘I wasn’t married to any of them.’
‘You forget I know why you married me.’
‘As a matter of fact you have no bloody idea! And the only running you’ve been doing is in the opposite direction. Didn’t the vows you made mean
anything
to you, Jo?’
‘How dare you ask me that?’ Her voice quivered with outrage. ‘That ceremony was just a means to an end as far as you were concerned. It must have been a drag having to tear yourself away from Miss Wonderbra ninety-eight!’ She was too distraught to conceal the jealousy that was eating her up.
‘This has nothing to do with Suzanna, or the baby.’ His eyes flickered almost greedily over her body, noting the changes. ‘It’s all about the fact you don’t trust me.’
Green eyes glittering coldly, they swept dismissively over him as her lips curled into a scornful smile. ‘And I never will, Liam.’
Her words were like walking into one brick wall too many. Nothing he could say or do seemed capable of breaking past this barrier she’d built to keep him out.
Something inside him snapped. He moved forward and, one hand behind her head, the other around her waist, he hauled her bodily off her feet and covered her mouth with his.
Her startled cry was swiftly cut off by his ravaging mouth; her arms hung limply at her sides as he devoured her soft, unresisting lips. The cry had been enough to bring Claudia running.
‘Don’t worry, Claudia. Liam was panting as though he’d been running and his colour was heightened as he turned stiffly to face her. He couldn’t look at Jo; the sound of her lost cry was going to haunt him for a long time. All he’d done was live up to her expectations of him. ‘You won’t need to scream for reinforcements. I’m going.’
The kiss had been an outlet for his anger and frustration—the shame twisted like a knife in his guts. No wonder she looked devastated. A quick glance had taken in her desperate pallor and wide, shocked eyes. His own lack of discipline revolted and sickened him.
‘Perhaps it’s actually your feelings you don’t trust, Jo, not me!’ God, I haven’t even got the guts to admit I’m in the wrong, he thought in disgust as he turned away.
The words had been a pure defence mechanism. If he’d looked back he’d have been amazed to see the effect they’d had on his wife.
‘I’m sorry, Jo. No wonder you didn’t want to be left alone.’ Claudia placed a comforting arm around her friend’s shoulders and glared with distaste at the tall retreating figure. ‘Liam always comes across as so civilised and. . . ’ She shook her head. ‘It just goes to show you never really know.’
‘You don’t understand, do you, Claudia?’ Jo said in a flat, expressionless voice. ‘I didn’t want him to stop.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘I
FEEL terrible letting you down like this.’
‘You’re not letting me down,’ Jo said firmly. Claudia did indeed look the picture of guilt ‘I’m quite capable of coping with a parent-craft class on my own.’ Since she’d moved back into her old flat—luckily she’d not given up the lease—she’d coped with most things on her own.
On this occasion, despite her self-sufficiency, Jo’s heart secretly plummeted at the idea of mingling with all the couples in the class. Her solitary state made her feel conspicuous at the best of times, but at least with the support of Claudia she had someone to laugh with. Nobody else seemed to see the funny side of several heavily pregnant women and their partners puffing obediently away whilst they visualised a summer sky.
She sometimes thought that she ought to have chosen a class with a slightly less whimsical approach to childbirth. Still, the classes were informative, even if she did feel a little out of her depth when people started talking knowledgeably about birthing pools, home births and acupuncture, and on the whole she enjoyed the evenings.
Nobody, it seemed, had looked at her quite the same way since she’d mentioned the possibility of pain relief. It wasn’t as if she had anything against natural childbirth, she just wanted to leave her options open. If she’d announced her baby’s father was a Martian nobody could have looked more shocked than they had when she’d said her birth plan was
flexible
and she hadn’t actually got around to writing it yet!
‘You’ll have nobody to rub your back.’
‘I expect Cynthia will oblige.’
Claudia bit back a grin. ‘You must hate me,’ she said with dancing eyes.
Cynthia was their very serious tutor. She was stuffed full of New Age philosophy, had a sweet personality and very high expectations of her pupils. Jo was gloomily certain that she was going to prove herself a disappointment.
‘I just wish she wouldn’t call me “chick”.’ Jo wrinkled her nose. It makes me feel like I’m back in kindergarten.’
‘Tut-tut. . . ’ Claudia shook her head. ‘You’re meant to feel an empowered woman with control of your own body.’
‘It’s all right for you to joke.’ Jo placed a hand over her swollen belly. ‘I don’t feel in control of anything, even my bladder. Have you any idea how often I had to get up last night and go to the loo?’
‘Come off it, you’re thriving on it!’ An untypically coy expression flickered over Claudia’s face. ‘Are you trying to put me off the joys of motherhood?’
‘Don’t tell me
you’re
contemplating. . . ’ Jo couldn’t disguise her amazement; Claudia was the epitome of the self-sufficient thirty-something career woman. She carried a laptop not a baby—but then some people had probably said the same of me a few months ago, she reflected philosophically.
‘Not immediately. . . but who knows. . . ?’ she mused with a mysterious smile guaranteed to fuel Jo’s curiosity.
‘You didn’t breathe a word. Who’s the lucky man?’
‘Did I say I’ve lined up a stand-in for me tonight?’ Claudia said casually.
‘No, you didn’t, but don’t change the subject.’
‘Actually I’m not, it’s Justin, and he’s agreed to come and breathe heavily with you tonight.’
‘You and Justin!’
‘You mind! I hoped you wouldn’t.’ Claudia looked crestfallen.
‘No, of course I don’t mind,’ Jo responded swiftly as she recovered from the shock. If I hadn’t been so self-absorbed I’d have put two and two together already. ‘I just didn’t know you two were. . . you know. . . an item.’
‘An item might be too formal yet.’ Claudia looked relieved at the unaffected sincerity of Jo’s response.
‘How long have you. . . ? I mean, did you like him when I was. . . ?’
‘Actually, yes, but he didn’t spare me a second glance back then.’
‘Oh, Claudia, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m going to get him on the rebound. I think he likes me a little bit.’
‘If you got him to agree to go with me to an antenatal class he must be besotted with you! You did warn him what it’s like?’ Her eyes widened at Claudia’s self-conscious grin. ‘Claudia, that’s very bad of you. Poor Justin.’
‘I’m hoping it’ll turn him all broody.’
‘You are the optimist, it’s more likely to turn him catatonic!’
That was how she ended up, against her better judgement, squatting on a rush mat with Justin supporting her as she panted obediently alongside ten other large ladies. Actually Justin had surprised her—apart from blushing when he’d been referred to as ‘Dad’ by the redoubtable, sandalled Cynthia, he’d coped remarkably well.
A saint couldn’t have coped with what happened next so she forgave Justin for letting her slip in an untidy heap on the mat. The door abruptly opened; the noise as it banged against the wall broke everyone’s concentration.
‘I think, young man, you’ve got the wrong room.’
‘No, I haven’t.’
‘Liam, what do you think you’re doing?’ Jo was suddenly conscious that she was now sharing the attention which until that moment had been reserved solely for the tall, dark, dangerous-looking stranger. Indignation was warring with a lot of less manageable emotions in her chest.
‘I need to talk to you.’
‘This isn’t the time or place.’
‘Where is? You won’t take my calls. You rip up my letters unopened. . . ’
‘How. . . ?’
‘I still have some allies in the Smith household.’
Jessie—she’d kill her! That must be how he knew she’d be here tonight, the little traitor, had she never heard of sisterly solidarity?
‘As you can see, I’m busy. I’m sure this can wait.’ Her tone of lofty dismissal was wasted on Liam.
‘I can see how that might suit you,’ he sneered.
‘And what is that supposed to mean?’
Liam looked beyond her. ‘Take your hands off her, Wood,
now
.’ He sounded casual, but the expression in his eyes had their leader reaching for her mobile phone; up to this point she’d been just as engrossed as the rest of the class by the heated discussion.
‘If you don’t leave this instant, young man, I shall be forced to contact the police.’ She tried belatedly to compensate for her passive state.
‘I’ve every intention of leaving. . . ’
‘Then we’ll say nothing more of this interruption.’
‘With my wife.’ Liam looked directly at Jo.
The dramatic pause was timed to perfection; all around her Jo could hear the mumbled exclamations and shocked
whispers. She could of course call his bluff and refuse to budge, in which case Justin might feel obliged to make a gesture he’d definitely live to regret. Or she could go with Liam and use the opportunity to tell him exactly what she thought of this sort of stunt.
She got to her feet with as much dignity as her bulk would permit. ‘No, don’t get up, Justin. Claudia’s due to pick us up straight after class,’ she whispered. ‘You might as well wait for her—I’m sure you’ll learn a lot.’
‘Will you. . . ?’
‘I can cope with Liam.’ She wished she felt as confident as she sounded. She patted his shoulder. Justin wasn’t comfortable with the situation but, as she wasn’t exactly being dragged kicking and screaming from the building, there wasn’t a lot he could do. ‘Sorry for the disruption, Cynthia.’
‘No harm done, my dear. Mr Smith. . . ’ She raised her voice and her eyes to Liam.
Liam tore his stunned eyes from Jo. Standing up, the ripe fullness of her new shape was very apparent. Jo was rather proud of her shape even though the restrictions it placed upon her were irksome sometimes. Her chin went up; if he didn’t like it—tough!
‘Rafferty,’ Liam corrected shortly. The knowledge she was going by her maiden name brought a fresh disapproving twist to his lips.
‘Mr Rafferty. we encourage fathers to attend our classes.’ Justin went bright red as her eyes travelled from Liam to him and back again. Liam’s expression was carved in stone.
‘Yes, I am.’
Cynthia dissolved into embarrassed confusion. ‘Really I wasn’t . . . I never pry. . . ’
With a sardonic smile Liam closed the door.
‘I hope you’re satisfied!’ Jo exploded. ‘I’ll never be able to go back there again. I can only assume that your intention was to humiliate and embarrass me.’ She turned her back and stalked off down the corridor.
It took Liam about two strides to catch up with her. ‘Like I said, I want to talk to you. The humiliation was by way of being icing on the cake,
Mrs Smith
.’
‘Ms. It was Jessie, wasn’t it, who told you I’d be here?’
‘I never reveal my sources. Now I can see why you didn’t want to talk to me—you were too busy patching things up with that feeble excuse for a man.’
Let him think what he liked, especially if it was something he
didn’t
like, she thought spitefully. ‘Justin is a caring, sensitive—’
‘Like I said, feeble. He let me take you—’
‘You didn’t take me anywhere, I came. You might have dramatic inclinations but I don’t! How corny can you get, charging in there like some wronged husband?’ she scoffed.
‘At least you remember I am your husband.’
‘I’m working on that.’ She threw a smile over her shoulder just to show how well she was coping with seeing him again for the first time in. . . the fact she could recall to the hour how long it had been was a depressing give-away.
‘Watch the steps,’ he cautioned, catching hold of her arm.
Jo shrugged off his restraining hand. ‘I’m pregnant—not ill,’ she said pointedly.
‘Jessie told me you had gone to antenatal class with a friend. She didn’t say it was
him.
How long has this been going on? I have a right to know!’
‘If you carry on grinding your teeth like that your dentist is going to make a fortune out of you.’
‘We’re not discussing my dental work!’ he bellowed, abandoning his tight-lipped control with a vengeance.
‘I know, I was just offering a bit of friendly advice.’ She smiled with sweet insincerity. ‘We were discussing your rights—you don’t have any. End of discussion. If only everything in life were so straightforward.’ She sighed.
‘That’s enough, Jo.’
Jo looked very pointedly at the hand he had placed on her shoulder. Her lips pursed when he met her withering glare and didn’t remove it.
‘Last time we met I shouldn’t have . .’ To her amazement he looked embarrassed. ‘I won’t kiss you,’ he said abruptly.
She wasn’t particularly surprised he felt confident enough to make that particular promise—she was hardly likely to inspire lustful thoughts in her present state! ‘With this. . . ’ she looked downwards ‘. . . you couldn’t get close enough.’ In her dreams, the ones she’d woken up from, her body soaked in sweat, he’d been able to kiss her. In those dreams he hadn’t stopped kissing her before she’d been able to respond.
‘You can’t avoid the issue by being belligerent.’
‘After you’ve just humiliated me in front of the entire class and insulted my friend I think I’m entitled to be belligerent. ’
‘You’ve only yourself to blame that I had to resort to extreme measures. You’ve cut yourself off from everyone; your father’s worried sick.’
‘The last I knew he wasn’t talking to you.’ When the crunch came men always closed ranks, she decided resentfully.
‘Which shows you how long it is since you spent any time at home.’
‘I’ve been busy.’
‘Doing what?’
‘I need to expand my client list. That doesn’t happen magically, it requires a lot of hard graft.’
‘I’m not questioning your intentions, just your timing. Do you really think that it’s appropriate to be traipsing all over the country when you’re eight months pregnant?’
‘That’s something I discuss with my obstetrician, not nosy, interfering strang—’
‘If you call me a stranger, Jo, so help me I’ll. . . ’ She watched his big hands clench and unclench at his sides as he stared down at her with an expression of overwhelming frustration.
She could see how he might want to throttle her. So what if she was being deliberately provoking? She had cause—the instant she’d laid eyes on him her hard-fought-for tranquillity had crumbled like a house of cards faced with an intrusive draft of cold air. He could have no idea—she clung to that small, inadequate crumb of comfort. No idea that the longing was a live thing, clawing and pulling at her insides. Cutting him out of her life totally hadn’t been a petty act of vengeance, it had been about survival! Anger was the only thing that kept the debilitating weakness under control.
‘Did you have to come barging in?’ she asked huskily.
‘I had intended waiting outside until—’
‘You saw Justin go in with me! Typical!’ She sniffed.

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