Accidental Love for Three (3 page)

He sat beside her on the bed, just holding her close.

" 'ome," she said sadly. He moved a little so that he could see her face, unsure what she was trying to say.

"Hhhhhhh…ome," she said again as another tear slid down her face.

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"Oh, honey," he said, a heavy feeling settling in his chest. "The doctors want you to stay for at least one more day, but I can take you home soon." He held her for a while before he found the courage to ask his next question.

"Trace, I was thinking of asking Lee to stay with us for a while once you get home. Would you like that?" He swallowed painfully, his breath sitting stale in his lungs as he waited for her answer.

"Yes," she said quietly as she fell asleep again. He slid further onto the bed and lay down beside her so that he could gather her in his arms, a hollow ache in his chest as his lonely future suddenly seemed more certain.

* * * *

Several weeks later, Gavin walked in the front door of the apartment he and Tracey owned. Well, the bank owned most of it, but it still gave him a rush to walk into his own home. He took off his coat, dropped his keys on the sideboard table and walked into the living area. He found Tracey asleep on the lounge, her head resting in Lee's lap.

"Hi," he said quietly as he crossed the room and squatted down in front of his sleeping wife. She almost looked her old self again, except for a slightly pinched look around her mouth. Her jaw still troubled her a little, but her headaches had become less frequent and the stitched cuts had healed well. Three weeks ago, she'd had surgery to place titanium dental implants into her jaw, and fortunately, the cosmetic dentist had been able to replace her teeth at the same time. It had been a more complicated and expensive procedure than they'd first thought, but it was the best choice for Tracey and now she had her beautiful smile back.

Gavin reached out a hand and smoothed a stray lock of golden brown hair away from Tracey's eyes. He studied her face for a moment, relieved to see that she no longer seemed to be in pain. His Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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Rachel Clark

gaze strayed to Lee's face as he realized that she was watching him closely.

"Have you told her yet?" he asked, getting straight to the heart of the matter.

She shook her head as she broke eye contact.

Gavin reached over and lifted her face up so that he could read the expression in her eyes.

"Coward," he admonished. She shrugged her shoulders, not bothering to deny it. "Why?" he asked, curious to understand her reasoning.

"I just can't." She broke eye contact again. He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for more, and she finally let out her breath in a loud
whoosh
. "I don't want to tell her when she can't talk properly.

What if she wants to yell at me? What if she hates me for it? What if she tells me to get lost?"

"What if she loves you back?" He'd noticed Tracey's eyes flutter open and her breathing change just a moment ago and he was pretty sure she was awake and listening to their conversation. "What if she wants you just as much as you want her?"

"I can't risk losing her."

"Why would you lose me?" a soft voice asked.

Lee stiffened at the quiet question.

"You're awake?" she squeaked, her panicked eyes seeking Gavin's. He nodded, a sad smile flitting across his face. His heart throbbed painfully, but he thought he managed to hide it.

"I'll go get some dinner organized. You two have a lot to talk about."

* * * *

Tracey lay still, her head resting on Lee's thighs and her left hand cupped over the other woman’s knee. She didn't try to move, didn't try to make eye contact with Lee. She wasn't sure they'd said what she Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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thought she heard. Worried that she'd misunderstood the conversation she repeated her earlier question.

"Why would you lose me?"

Lee ran a hand gently over Tracey's hair, stroking down the full length over and over. Tracey sensed Lee gathering her thoughts, maybe even her courage to say something important, so she stayed still and waited.

"Do you remember when we were in college, and I went through that party stage?"

Tracey laughed a little at that. Every day had been party day for Lee. College had been one big long party, and Tracey had often wondered how Lee had managed to get an education at all. She herself had worked hard for every class and even then she'd only just scraped through.

"Okay, let me rephrase that," Lee said with a smile in her voice.

"When I went through that all girl party stage?"

Tracey nodded slowly in reply.

"Did you ever notice that my dates all had golden brown hair and caramel eyes?"

"I did," she answered slowly, still wondering where this conversation could be going and a little too frightened to hope. She'd been jealous of every single one of those women. She'd always wanted more from Lee but had been too frightened of losing the friendship they already had to do anything about it. In college, Lee had never given her any reason to think that she was more than just the bookworm roommate and friend, and her own shyness had made sure that she'd stayed that way.

"Well...umm...it never worked with any of them because they weren't you."

Tracey lifted her head and rolled onto her back so that she could see Lee's face. Lee's eyes were closed, and she held herself rigidly, almost like she was expecting a physical attack.

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Rachel Clark

"Why tell me now?" Tracey asked, her mind shying away from the consequences of this conversation. She had a husband that she loved, and they'd built a life together, they had even discussed having children. Why would Lee tell her this now, years after she'd given up hope of being anything more important to her than just her best friend?

Lee swallowed hard, her eyelids fluttering against her face as she seemed to hold back tears.

"Because when you were in hospital, when I thought you were going to die, I couldn't hide how much I loved you from the one person who knew exactly what I was feeling."

"Gavin? Gavin realized you loved me?" she asked bewildered. Oh God, what must Gavin be thinking? Feeling?

Lee nodded miserably.

"I tried to convince him just to leave well enough alone, but he wouldn't let me. He's convinced himself that you and I would be happier together, and he wants to step aside to make that happen."

"Whoa, hold on a minute. He's just willing to walk away?" she said as hurt flashed across her entire body and soul. Why would he think she would want him to leave? She loved him and she loved Lee, how could she lose either of them this way?

She was about to give in to despair when another thought hit her—how dare they both make decisions about her future without talking to her first. The skin around her eyes tightened as anger started to burn through her. No one was leaving this home until they found a solution that worked for them all.

"Call Gavin in here," she told Lee still unable to speak loudly around her sore jaw. When Lee hesitated, she growled, "Now!"

"Gavin," Lee called, glancing between the door to the hallway and Tracey's angry face, "can you come in here a moment?"

* * * *

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Gavin heard Lee's summons and immediately stood and headed into the living room. He'd been sitting on the bed wallowing in a great big bucket of self pity, but something in Lee's tone of voice launched him onto his feet instantly. Still, he hesitated at the doorway. Did he really want to see his wife's beautiful face as she told him how much she loved someone else? Was he strong enough to see this through without begging her to let him stay?

He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for the despair that would surely follow. He loved Tracey with all his heart, and if she wanted a life with Lee, then he'd find the strength to leave. He stepped into the room expecting the two women to be smiling happily at each other, years of hidden love finally out in the open. What he found nearly knocked the wind from him.

Tracey stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her eyes narrowed in anger. She looked up at him as he hovered in the doorway.

"Sit," she pointed at the sofa where Lee still sat.

He moved quickly to do as she asked. He'd never seen her so angry before, and he was having trouble understanding what it could mean. He slid onto the seat, barely aware that Lee was as tense as he felt.

"Lee just told me she loves me," Tracey said, her anger obvious even through her sore jaw. Gavin glanced at the woman beside him unsure why that would make Tracey so upset. Had he misread her?

Didn't Tracey love Lee as well? How could he have misinterpreted something so important to all of their lives?

"She tells me that you want to leave? Is that right?" He nodded slowly, warily, uncertain now but unwilling to hide from the truth.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to be happy," he said steadily, trying to control the quivering that had started in his muscles. Adrenaline flooded his system, a fight or flight response to danger that he didn't quite understand.

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Rachel Clark

"So you love me enough to leave me? Is that it?"

Lee tried to say something, but Tracey held up a hand to stop her.

"Do you love me enough to walk away?" she asked again, her voice a low growl. Gavin nodded, opened his mouth to say something and then closed it just as quickly.

"What about you, Lee? You just told me you've loved me since college, do you love me enough to walk away?"

"Yes," Lee said in a tiny voice that made Gavin's heart ache for her almost as much as he ached for himself.

"So if you both love me, why would either of you want to leave?"

Tracey dropped her head back and stared at the ceiling, seeming to fight for control. "How do you expect me to choose between you?"

Gavin glanced over to Lee, her face a mirror of his own uncertainty. "We don't know, honey," he said carefully. "We just wanted you to know the truth. Lee loves you with all of her heart, and I know you love her, too. I just want you to be happy."

* * * *

"So you want me to choose between you? How can I do that?"

Her jaw ached, frustration with the now familiar pain making her more emotional, less in control. She started pacing in front of them, unable to look at either of the people claiming to love her and now expecting her to make such a massive decision. "Do you have any idea what you've just said? Either of you?"

She eyed them both for a moment and then went back to pacing.

The husband she loved and the woman she'd loved since college both sat watching her warily. How the hell could she choose one over the other?

"Trace, it’s okay, baby. You married Gavin, and I was happy for you. I
am
happy for you. I don't want to destroy what you have." Lee turned to Gavin, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Please can we just go back to the way things were?"

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* * * *

How the hell had they gotten here? Gavin's brain swirled with unresolved questions, his heart and his head unable to agree. He loved Tracey, loved her more than anything, and he wanted her to be happy.

He'd seen the way Tracey and Lee belonged together. He knew they loved each other, he just hadn't realized that by forcing the issue he'd be asking Tracey to make such a difficult decision. He'd somehow assumed she'd be able to walk away from him.

His eyes closed wearily as he acknowledged that his own insecurity probably brought them to this point. He was the one who believed Lee could make Tracey happier than he could. He was the one so lacking in confidence that he was willing to hand over the woman he loved to someone else because they could do a better job.

He tried to open his eyes but slammed them shut quickly, horrified by the film of tears threatening to escape.

"Tracey." Lee's voice low, soothing, the calm within the storm. "I have always been content being your friend, and I want you to be happy. Nothing has to change here."

Lee's quiet words felt like a kick in the gut. She loved Tracey. She deserved more. Finally finding his courage, Gavin opened his eyes to see the woman he loved watching him closely, her anger replaced by sympathy. He swallowed hard. He couldn't let Lee stay in the background when it was obvious that she loved Tracey as much as he did. His voice felt rough, but he forced the words past his aching throat.

"Why do you have to choose? Why not keep us both?"

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Rachel Clark

Tracey heard Lee's sharp intake of breath at the same time that she watched her husband's face move into a tentative smile. Still reeling from Lee's words, she had no idea if she understood the specifics of what Gavin proposed. She only knew that she didn't want to lose either of these incredible people.

"Gavin, Lee," she said, swallowing around the thick lump clogging her throat, "I love you both. Please can we work something out? I don't want to lose either of you."