Accidental Reunion (12 page)

As her spoon idly drifted to the sugar bowl again he caught her hand.

‘Why, Lila? What are you scared of?’

The flash of tears in her eyes, the tension lines that pursed her lips tore through Declan.

‘You want to know what I’m scared of?’ Her choking voice was almost a whisper as she gripped his hand tightly, her blue eyes lifting to meet his own. ‘I’m so scared that when the district nurse comes, when the physio and the social workers all descend and come to the natural conclusion as to where Mum should be…I’m scared that I’ll give in and agree. I’m scared that the light at the end of the tunnel will be so bloody bright I’ll cover my eyes and do the ‘‘sensible’’ thing. Scared that the chance of actually having my life back will be too hard to turn down.’

Lila didn’t swear, ever.

Until now.

‘Bloody’ was hardly big league, but to hear the expletive come from her lips he knew the depth of Lila’s despair, knew the agony behind her words.

‘I want to be there for you,’ he rasped. ‘Please, Lila, let’s sort this out together. Let me help you.’

She felt as if she’d been in prison for years, that the jailer was standing waving a shiny key, offering her a glimpse of life outside.

And she was tempted, so tempted to slip her hand
between the bars and grab that key, grab her chance of escape. But that would mean running away—away from the responsibilities, away from the promise she’d made to care for her mother.

Declan might care, might think he could help, but how could he possibly know what he would be letting himself in for? Some day—not tomorrow, next week or next month even. Some day in the future there would be a party or a holiday or any tiny thing that would force the issue, force her to choose.

It took a superhuman effort to shake her head, to pull her hand back between the bars into the safety of her self-imposed jail.

‘All I want from you, Declan, is to forget what you know. I need your assurance that no one at work will find out how things are for me at home.’

‘And that’s all you want?’

‘That’s it.’ Lila stood up.

‘Lila, please, there’s something I need to say.’

With a sigh she sat down again, her bag still over her shoulder, ready to leave at any moment.

‘I’m not doing this because I want to get back with you.’

Her eyes lifted to his and he saw a flicker of confusion there.

‘I’m doing this because we work together, because of what we used to feel. As good as the other night was, it taught me one thing. We really are over. We don’t love each other, and it’s good that we both finally realise it. Now at last we can move on, stop feeling awkward around each other.’ He gave a small laugh as she fought to hold herself together. ‘And to prove my point, I’m even thinking of asking Yvonne
out. I’ve never really looked at her before in that way but, well, she’s nice, and she seems to like me. It’s enough to be going on with.’

When Lila didn’t answer he carried on, his voice positive, assured. ‘Lila, we’re a couple of exes who happen to work together. It’s no crime we don’t love each other. There just wasn’t enough there to sustain a relationship. But a friendship? Well, I think even we could manage that, a real one this time, though. Not the half-hearted effort of a couple of weeks ago.’

He gave a small smile and she managed a watery one back.

She had been waiting to rebuff him, to politely refuse his requests for another try. Not this!

Never this.

He was over her, finally and completely over her.

And it hurt like hell.

‘Friends help each other,’ he said softly.

She couldn’t look at him, terrified he would read the utter despair in her eyes.

‘Will you let me ask Yvonne?’

‘You don’t need my permission to date her.’

He gave her a nonplussed look. ‘I meant about arranging some services for your mum.’

Ouch! A deep blush started to spread upwards from her neck. ‘I really need to get home.’

‘Lila, at least say that you’ll think about it.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ she agreed finally, and with a small smile walked purposefully out of the canteen, managing to keep her composure along the endless corridor to the staff exit. Waving cheerfully at a couple
of familiar faces, she finally made it to the solitude of her car.

Only when she was safely inside, with the ignition turned on and the radio blaring, did Lila let the tears start.

I
T WAS
a relief the department was busy that night. Too busy for Lila to think about her own problems and too busy for the awareness that usually descended upon her whenever Declan was around.

‘I’ve got Ambulance Control on the line, Lila,’ Sue called as Lila dashed past. ‘They want to speak to whoever’s in charge.’

‘Thanks, Sue.’ Tucking the telephone between her shoulder and ear, she handed Sue a plastic dish. ‘Cubicle three feels nauseous. Can you give her this? Declan’s written her up for some Maxalon if you get a moment.’ She returned her attention to the phone. ‘Sister Bailey here.’

‘Sister, we’re bringing in a forty-five-year-old female. Fell from a horse. Possible loss of consciousness and a left ankle injury.’

Lila frowned at the telephone. Why on earth were they alerting her about a simple head injury?

‘The problem is that the patient concerned is your unit manager.’

‘Hester!’

‘That’s right. She was very reluctant to come in, but she needs stitching and she’s slightly disorientated and agitated. The paramedics have managed to persuade her to come, but I thought we should warn you.’

‘Thanks so much.’

Poor Hester. As much as Lila didn’t like the woman, she meant her no harm. Arriving in your own department as a patient was embarrassing to say the least. Protocol bound the paramedics to bring all patients to the nearest emergency department. The least Lila could do was ensure Hester’s privacy as much as possible and try to keep the amount of staff that dealt with her to the minimum.

‘Can I do anything to help?’ Vera’s rouged cheeks and reddened lips seemed ridiculously out of place with her shabby jacket and unkempt hair. ‘You look ever so busy.’

‘We are tonight, Vera.’ Lila spoke kindly. ‘But the doctor
will
take a look at your leg just as soon as the department quietens down.’

‘Oh, that’s all right, Lila, you know I don’t mind waiting. It’s just I feel so useless sitting there, doing nothing. Surely there must be something I can do?’

The most helpful thing Vera could do right now was take a seat and be quiet and a lot of staff would have told her to do just that, but it wasn’t in Lila’s nature. It would also have been entirely counterproductive as unless Vera was given something to occupy her, the incessant pleas to help would only increase.

Grabbing a pile of dusters and bin liners, Lila handed them to a beaming Vera. ‘These have to be folded, Vera. I hate to ask but we really are busy.’

‘I’d be happy to.’ Her toothless smile was as wide as her face.

‘But very neatly, mind,’ Lila said seriously. ‘Or my boss will be very angry. It’s going to take you a while, Vera. Are you sure you don’t mind?’

‘Not a bit. I’m just glad to be some help to you all. I know how hard you all work.’ And taking the pile of dusters and bin liners, she walked importantly off to the waiting room.

Happy Vera was settled, Lila set about preparing a cubicle for Hester. She’d have a fit if she saw Vera handling the hospital supplies, but it was only a pile of dusters and bin liners after all. Poor old girl. After Hester’s clamp-down she couldn’t even give Vera a breakfast in the morning. Still, Hester couldn’t stop her giving Vera a cup of tea and some biscuits and cake from the night staff’s own stash.

The paramedics’ warning had been spot on. Hester was indeed less than happy to be a patient, although one look at her cut and swollen face left Lila in no doubt that she needed medical intervention. Ushering the paramedics into cubicle one, she smiled warmly at her senior.

‘Hi, Hester, we’ll just get you over on to the trolley and make you a bit more comfortable.’

‘I can manage fine myself.’ Pushing away Lila’s helping hands, she attempted to sit herself up, only to stifle a scream as she collapsed unwillingly back onto the stretcher.

‘Steady there, love.’ The paramedic’s kind words only inflamed Hester further.

‘I’m not your ‘‘love’’. Now, if you’ll leave me be for two minutes you’ll realise that I can manage fine myself.’

But her second attempt at moving proved equally futile, and with a yelp of pain and frustration Hester lay defeated against the pillow.

‘Perhaps if I hold your ankle, you could lift yourself over,’ Lila suggested, her voice steady and firm.

A small hint of a nod deemed that Hester was at least prepared to finally accept some assistance.

Her ankle was grotesquely swollen and cold but, given that she had been outside for some hours, that could be more due to exposure than lack of circulation and Lila would make a more careful assessment once her patient was safely on the trolley. Concentrating on holding the leg steady as Hester painfully inched her way over, Lila noticed that Hester quickly covered herself with the blanket.

‘Thanks, guys.’ She noticed the wide-eyed look the paramedic gave her, which indicated there was more to be said. Covering Hester with a further blanket, Lila excused herself and slipped outside.

‘I think she’s had a bit of an accident, and not the falling-off-your-horse kind.’

Lila grinned at the paramedic’s description.

‘Of course she won’t admit it but, given that she was out there for four or five hours, it’s hardly surprising. We offered to cut her trousers off and put her into a gown but she wouldn’t have a bar of it. Not the sunniest person, your boss, is she?’

Lila feigned surprise. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. She’s an absolute sweetheart.’

‘Sister Bailey!’ The angry shout from the cubicle made them all grin. ‘Told you,’ she said with a wry grin. ‘I’ll catch you later.

‘Hester, I’m just going to do your obs and have a look at your ankle then I’ll get you into a gown and Declan will come and take a look at you. I’ve spoken to him already and once he’s checked you’re stable
he’ll ring Mr Hinkley and have him come in and check you out.’

Calling a consultant in from home for such a minor injury wasn’t necessary, more a courtesy extended as Hester was the manager of the unit.

‘I don’t want Mr Hinkley brought in. I just want some strapping on my ankle. Hopefully by then my husband will be here to take me home.’

‘Hester, please, you know your ankle needs more than a bit of strapping. Now, can I do your observations?’

With a heavy sigh Hester leant back on the pillows. ‘If you must.’

Her observations were all within normal limits, except a slightly low temperature. Checking her foot, Lila was pleased to see that Hester could move her toes and when pushed gently the colour soon returned, showing she had good circulation to the affected area. A nasty gash on her forehead required a few stitches. The paramedic had said that she’d seemed disorientated but that didn’t appear evident now. As for agitation, Lila guessed it had rather more to do with the embarrassment of finding herself in the department, particularly if she’d had an ‘accident’.

‘What happened, Hester?’

‘I’m sure the ambulancemen told you.’

‘Of course, but I need to hear it from you.’

‘I was riding,’ she said grudgingly. ‘And obviously I came off.’

‘Why?’ Lila pressed, though her question visibly irritated Hester. It was important to ascertain whether some event, such as a faint or convulsion, had caused her fall or if it had been a straightforward accident.

‘Trigger just started suddenly—something must have scared him—and then he threw me. And, yes,’ she snapped, ‘I remember everything. I wasn’t knocked out.’

Lila didn’t say anything for a moment, just busied herself placing some sterile gauze over the laceration on Hester’s forehead. ‘You’re sure about that?’

‘Maybe I was knocked out for a couple of seconds, but no longer,’ Hester admitted. ‘But Trigger was still fretting when I came to, so it really wasn’t for long. Poor thing.’ Lila watched as Hester’s face softened. ‘He stayed by me the whole time, whinnying and worried. He’s such a brave horse. I’ll be sure and give him an extra treat for breakfast.’

Lila bit back a smart reply as she thought of dear old Vera folding dusters, desperate to help. Hester would rather the horses were fed than her patients.

‘Good.’ Lila wrote down her observations on the back of the casualty card. ‘Let’s get you into a gown.’

In a second the barriers that had come down slightly were erected again. ‘I don’t need a gown. Now, will you, please, leave me alone!’

Lila knew that for once Hester’s sharp words weren’t personal. Lila saw Hester for what she was, a strongly proud woman, embarrassed with absolutely no need to be. They were both nurses, both women, yet Lila knew she would have felt the same. She thought for a moment how to play this, how she would feel if it were her lying there and her colleagues needed to have instant access to her body at such a vulnerable time.

‘Hester, I know this must be difficult for you,’ Lila said gently. ‘It is for me, too.’

Hester looked up sharply at Lila’s admission.

‘I know how I’d feel if I’d been lying out on a field somewhere for five hours and Declan Haversham had to come in and examine me.’

The tiny grin on Hester’s face told Lila she was on the right track. ‘A girl’s got her pride. Why don’t I get you a bowl and you can have a wash? I’ll find you a comb and you can put on a gown. I can help you off with your jodhpurs and top and then I’ll leave you.’

Hester nodded. ‘Thank you. It’s just that while I was lying there, while I was waiting to be found, there was nothing I could do. I had—’

Lila patted her arm. ‘Leave it to me.’

When Lila returned with a bowl and towels she gave Hester a smile. ‘I’m sure these aren’t to your taste but I ordered them from Sue’s lingerie party. They’ve been in my locker.’ She handed Hester the underwear, still in its Cellophane.