Acquired Tastes (19 page)

She was sitting on a bench in a small square just north of Camden Town. It hardly merited the name 'square', as it was no more than a scruffy patch of dusty green, overlooked on all sides by imposing Georgian terraced houses, which had long since been converted into flats. But it did have three park benches, several tired-looking trees, and a patch of overgrown shrubs - rare commodities in a capital city, and enabling estate agents to add several thousand pounds to the value of the surrounding property. It was about five thirty on a hot July afternoon and concrete-bound London trapped the heat, wrapping it around everything and everybody, like a prickly woollen blanket.

Alicia was wearing a long, shapeless shift made of crinkly Indian cotton, bought in order to try and keep cool, but perspiration was making it cling to her body in all the wrong places. She would have preferred to sit in the miserable shade offered by one of the trees, but had chosen the graffiti covered park bench because it offered her a clearer view of the block of flats where Vanessa lived.

She ate the last few chunks of chocolate. They were melting in the heat and left her fingers sticky. She rummaged in her bag for some tissues and with the help of a little cologne, cleaned herself up. She then placed the large, floppy straw hat she had found in Zelda's wardrobe on her head. It almost obscured her face, and had the added benefit of providing some welcome shade from the sun. She had also found a pair of old opera glasses which she now placed on the bench beside her, ready for Vanessa's arrival home.

Alicia had no idea what she was going to do. All she knew was that she had to do something.

She had remained in Zelda's flat, venturing out only when she needed to buy food for four days since arriving in London. She had felt listless, totally enervated, without even enough energy to read. There was a small, portable, black and white television in the flat, and she turned it on. The picture was terrible and the sound not much better, but its constant chatter and moving figures had kept her company, even though she could not recall any of the programmes she watched. She had let the phone ring unanswered because only Zelda knew where she was, and she hadn't wanted to speak to anyone - not even Zelda.

But that morning, still blurred with sleep, she had picked up the phone without thinking when it rang. It was an excitable Zelda calling from Heathrow Airport.

'Where have you been? I've rung and rung. The university is simply awash with gossip, it's been so exciting. Everyone knows what happened. Not from me, I never gossip, but these things will get out. Anyway, everyone is simply dying to know what has happened to Fergus, nobody has seen him since that dreadful night. The Academic Council had to deliver its sentence of dismissal or termination or whatever they like to call it,
in absentia
, and good riddance, I say. It's a pity they couldn't order him to be birched as well. People have been asking me about you too, but just as you asked, I denied all knowledge of your whereabouts, although it has added to the gossip, both you
and
Fergus disappearing at more or less the same time.'

'And no one knows where he's gone?' Alicia asked faintly.

'No one,' Zelda replied firmly.

'You don't think he would do anything stupid, do you? Oh Zelda, perhaps he was so ashamed he couldn't face anyone …' A note of panic entered Alicia’s voice.

'Ashamed? That one? My dear, I don't think he knows the meaning of the word shame. You really must learn to put the whole nasty business behind you. Enjoy the summer and make full use of my flat. Ernst and I always have such fun in London, and you know what they say: mi casa es su casa. Now I must dash, as it's the last call for our flight to Hungary and Ernst is getting nervous. Flying is not one of his strong points. See you in September.'

Alicia sat holding the receiver, digesting the news about Fergus. Zelda was probably right, he was not the kind of person to do anything silly, but where was he?

She considered the facts as far as she knew them. Fergus claimed to have no living relatives, and had never mentioned any friends or connections outside the university. So logic dictated that her search should begin with the person he had driven off with on that fateful night.

It wasn't that she wanted Fergus back - how could she? Whatever her feelings towards him, his behaviour with Vanessa had made it quite clear that he did not feel the same way towards her. However, she did want to make sure he was all right. Whatever Zelda said, Alicia did not believe that Fergus was the guilty party and the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that everything that had happened had been Vanessa's doing.

Men were easily led astray. Wasn't that what Vanessa always said when she boasted about her sexual conquests? Even married men weren't immune to her wiles, so why should Fergus be? Alicia had always known what Vanessa was really like - she had just been too stupidly loyal to admit it.

How many times had Vanessa said, 'don't worry,
trust
me' and she always had, despite the fact that it always ended with her in trouble while Vanessa walked away scot free. It was always the same, Vanessa would ignore her for months and only discover that Alicia was her best friend when she was in trouble and needed her help.

'It's all right for you,' Vanessa wailed, 'you're such a goody-goody, but I've got so many bad marks against me they might even expel me. Reverend Mother said she would last time.'

Alicia had been thoroughly frightened at the thought of losing her best, her
only
friend. 'They
wouldn't
, would they?'

Vanessa nodded. 'I told Sister Cecilia the booby trap was somebody else's idea and I just happened to be in the room when it went off, but she wouldn't believe me. It wasn't
really
dangerous. I just mixed up some stuff from the chemistry lab with a bit of itching powder. I wanted to give Lucy a bit of a fright. She's so stuck up, always going on about her country house and her silly horses,' Vanessa sniffed.

Alicia put a comforting arm round her shoulders. 'Supposing I said it was my idea, do you think they would expel me?'

Vanessa's tears dried instantly. 'Of course not. You've got such a good record, what can they do to you? Trust me, Alicia, you'll walk it.'

But she hadn't.

'We have always considered it our duty to allow girls like you to come to St Aloysius.' Reverend Mother's steel-blue eyes had seemed to pierce Alicia's very soul. 'But knowing the backgrounds many of you scholarship girls come from, we know we are taking a considerable risk. However, it is our sacred duty to help the less fortunate, and I have always been of the opinion that rather than lower our standards, we should seek to raise the standards of the girls placed in our care.'

There were a few moments of silence as Reverend Mother's eyes continued to bore into Alicia. She had looked down at her shoes and realised that they needed cleaning, another black mark.

'What saddens me about this whole affair, Alicia, is that I thought we had succeeded with you. Your schoolwork is excellent, and up until now, your conduct exemplary. According to Sister Cecilia, this was a carefully planned attack which could have led to real physical injury, or at least terrible shock. If it had happened in a moment of high spirits, I would have considered it less reprehensible, although still punishable. But what makes this breach of discipline so much worse is that not only does it make your past record questionable, but you were prepared to let another girl, Vanessa Sprunt, take the blame for it. In some ways, that is worse than the offence itself. What have you to say for yourself?'

Alicia had been silent. Her throat felt as though it was gripped in a vice and she couldn't speak.

'Dumb insolence will only make your position worse.' Reverend Mother's voice was relentless. 'If your parents had been in the country, I think I would have asked them to come and take you away, so that we could offer your place to a more deserving girl.'

Silent tears had begun to course down Alicia's burning cheeks.

'Use your handkerchief child!'

Alicia blew her nose noisily and wiped her eyes.

Reverend Mother's voice, revealing an Irish lilt, became softer. 'Is it that your parents are so far away that's made you behave so badly?'

Alicia miserably shook her head and Reverend Mother's sympathy vanished. She stood up and walked round her desk, placing her hands on Alicia's shoulders. Her fingers dug into Alicia's flesh, forcing her to look up into the nun's face.

'You will forego all weekend privileges until the end of term, and I shall ask your house mother to put you on morning and evening cleaning duty in the dormitory for the next month.'

She had relaxed her grip but remained staring down at Alicia. 'It is not part of your punishment, for the Good Lord could never be a punishment, but I hope we will see you at early Mass all next week. It will help you meditate on your sins.'

And with that she had sat down at her desk again and opened a book. Alicia had taken this to mean her ordeal was over, and edged towards the door, but as her hand turned the knob, Reverend Mother had looked up again.

'And I hope, child, that you will go down on your bended knees and beg both Lucy and Vanessa's forgiveness for this terrible thing you have done.'

Vanessa never owned up, and it passed into school legend that Alicia had tried to blow up one of her fellow students. To make amends, Vanessa had given Alicia first choice of the clothes she intended to throw away at the end of the term - she never wore any of her clothes for more than one season because by that time they had gone out of fashion - but as she was several sizes smaller than Alicia, none of them fitted.

Alicia put Zelda’s opera glasses to her eyes and studied Vanessa's flat, which was on the ground floor of the terrace opposite. The two large windows overlooking the park revealed no sign of life.

Alicia sipped her tea and studied the rest of the terrace through the glasses. Peoples' taste in curtains was fascinating. She was rather partial to swags and tails and the odd ruffle herself, and a particularly magnificent set of salmon pink Austrian blinds caught her attention. She put her cup down in order to readjust the opera glasses.

As the pink frills sharpened into focus, Alicia realised that someone was standing at the window watching her.

She hastily turned away, only to find herself looking at a man leaning against a tree who was scrutinising her.

Alicia snatched the opera glasses from her eyes and stuffed them into her bag. Then she tossed the remainder of the tea in her cup on to the ground and tried to screw the cap back on to her vacuum flask. Although she didn't dare look, she knew the man was walking towards her. She kept her head down as she hurriedly pushed everything into her bag.

'Good Lord. Alicia, Alicia Binns!'

Alicia reluctantly peered up from beneath the brim of her hat. The good-looking, in a rather gaunt, unshaven way, man who stood in front of her dressed in faded jeans and a T-shirt proclaiming 'Green Power' with a lurid green fist, bore no resemblance to anyone she knew. He ran a thin hand through his unruly dark hair, which immediately flopped back rather becomingly over his forehead.

Alicia felt a glimmer of familiarity at the gesture.

'It
is
you isn't it?' the man asked, his public school tones at variance with his appearance. 'It's me, Jeremy, Jeremy Swift.'

'Jeremy. Vanessa's husband?' Alicia was incredulous.

'Ex-husband,' Jeremy said firmly. 'How are you? I'm surprised to see you in these parts. I thought you were a country girl.' He indicated where Vanessa lived with a nod of his head. 'Not staying with Vee by any chance?'

'Oh no. Vanessa and I… well we … Actually, I'm staying in a friend's flat just around the corner from here.'

Alicia was uncertain. She was finding it difficult to come to terms with the Jeremy standing in front of her. Where was the immaculately-suited, clean-shaven Jeremy of old?

Jeremy was looking hard at her. 'Do I sense you and Vee are not getting on too well?'

Alicia considered her answer. Could she trust him? They had never been close in the past. Jeremy was so good-looking, she always felt tongue-tied in his presence, and she was convinced that he thought her an awful bore, or at least Vanessa had intimated he did. But he was Vanessa's
ex
-husband, and she did want someone to talk to, someone who would understand, and his eyes, which were still that wonderful blue she remembered, looked concerned.

'Oh, Jeremy,' she blurted, 'we've had the most terrible row. She behaved so dreadfully.' Her lower lip trembled.

Jeremy put a hand out as though to comfort her and then thought better of it. He put his hands in his pockets instead. Alicia thought he looked unhealthily thin. The last time she had seen him, which must have been at least four years ago, he had been broad-shouldered and muscular. Alicia felt herself beginning to blush. She looked down.

Jeremy scuffed the toe of his trainer against a brown tuft of grass. 'That's not unusual for Vee. I'm just surprised you put up with her for so long. I learned my lesson the hard way. That woman hasn't got a decent bone in her body.' The bitterness in his voice made Alicia ache.

She looked up into his eyes. There were depths in them she had not seen before.

Alicia had never understood why Vanessa had divorced Jeremy. Vanessa said it was because he had an affair, but while Alicia agreed that it was the most awful betrayal, if he had been truly sorry and sworn that he would not do it again, why not forgive him this one indiscretion, especially as Vanessa had had numerous affairs.

But according to Vanessa, while Jeremy's one infidelity was nothing in comparison to her many, that wasn't the point. Her infidelities meant nothing - that was just the way she was - but Jeremy was a one-woman man so if
he
strayed, it really meant something.

Alicia twisted a strand of her hair round her finger. 'You know, I never really heard the full story of why you and Vanessa broke up, would you like to tell me about it? I could make a nice pot of tea back at the flat where I'm staying and I could make some sandwiches as well.'