Addicted (Outlaws Book 2) (20 page)

Lennox didn’t answer. His heart had lodged in his throat. Again, he knew she was right, but he didn’t want her to be. He was too scared to admit they were in a relationship. Too terrified to love her more than he already did.

“Do you really think you’re going to get tired of me?”

The timid question filled him with alarm. “What?”

“You told me that’s what happens to you with other women. You get bored of them and you end it.” Determination hardened her eyes. “But we’ve been at each other’s sides for almost twenty years, and it doesn’t seem like you’ve tired of me yet…”

She hadn’t voiced it as another question, but he knew it was, and he bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from confessing that he’d been lying through his teeth that day. Tiring of Jamie was impossible. She kept him on his toes. She made him happier than he’d ever been in his life. He loved everything about her. Her strength, her tenacity, even her short fuse of a temper.

What he didn’t love was her naive vision of the future. She’d never said it out loud, but Lennox had pieced it together from comments she’d made over the years.

When they’d stumbled on a farmhouse in the Midwest, she sighed and remarked that it was her dream home.

When they’d visited friends in the south and she’d held one of their babies, her eyes shone with adoration.

When she looked at Bethany and Arch, it was with pure, palpable longing.

But those were unattainable dreams. If she was lucky, she might get the house, or the baby, or the fairy-tale love. But she couldn’t have them all, and there was no guarantee she’d even be able to keep what she did get. Homes burned down and got shot up by Enforcers, as they’d learned the hard way. Babies died or were ripped out of your arms and taken to the city. And fairy tales didn’t exist. Love had the power to destroy you, not heal you.

Lennox slid into a sitting position, unable to tamp down his growing anxiety. “Do you remember when our moms were sick?”

Jamie looked startled. “Of course I do.”

“My dad… he withered away.” His teeth dug deeper into his cheek. “It destroyed him that he couldn’t help Mom. That he couldn’t protect her from the illness. And after she died and he got sick too, he didn’t even try to fight. He just gave up and let himself die.”

“I’m not sure what this has to do with us.”

He averted his eyes. “I wouldn’t survive if I lost you.”

“You’re not going to lose me.” Her tone was firm. Her touch was even firmer as she grasped his chin and forced his gaze back to hers. “Lennox. I think you need to accept that there are some things you simply can’t control.”

She was wrong. He
could
control this. Control his feelings, regain his focus. Keeping her safe was his main priority, the
only
priority he’d had all these years. But in order to do that, he couldn’t allow his love for her to consume him.

“Keeping things separate will only hurt us,” Jamie added. “We’re not good separate. We’re stronger when we’re together.”

Wrong again. He was
weaker
when he fully opened his heart to her. He got distracted. He made decisions out of panic. He acted irrationally and pissed her off.

“I can’t be just your friend if we’re sleeping together, Len. If I’m in your bed, then I’m your friend
and
your woman. And if you can’t handle that, then I can’t be in your bed anymore.”

Rather than voice his fears, he nodded. “I can handle it.”

“Can you?”

Another nod.

“We’re together?” she pushed.

Lennox leaned closer and pressed his mouth to hers. “We’re together, love. I promise.” He touched her cheek in reassurance, then rose from the bed. “We should head back to the group. The next event is starting soon.”

He dressed in a hurry, hoping she couldn’t see the lingering fear in his eyes. He hadn’t lied to her. They
were
together. And she
was
his woman. She always had been. But he was always going to hold a piece of himself back. It was the only way to keep a clear head.

The only way to keep her alive.

They’d been in Foxworth for a month.

Lennox couldn’t quite believe it, because to him it felt as if they’d just arrived. And yet here he was, listening to Rylan announce that the awards ceremony celebrating the end of training was being held in the rec hall tonight.

The final event had wrapped up only minutes ago. Lennox’s team had been crowned the overall winners of the tournament, but apparently Rylan and Pike had a couple of surprises up their sleeves. The champions would receive the grand prize, but select members of the other teams were going to win steak dinners courtesy of Graham, Foxworth’s cook.

Lennox noted the dejected faces around him, mostly belonging to members of the opposing teams. The biggest frown came from Sara, who’d proved she was more than capable with a rifle. He knew she was disappointed that her team hadn’t managed to beat out Lennox’s in the end, but as he stood there watching, Jamie gave the girl a big hug and declared that Sara was a winner in her eyes. Then she announced she was taking all her female charges to the restaurant for a team dinner.

As the girls trooped off, some of the joy in Randy’s eyes faded. The boy stared at Sara’s retreating back, and Lennox gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. He’d finally pried the truth out a few days ago – Sara’s father had indeed paid Randy a visit, describing in detail what would happen to Randy’s tongue, hands, and dick if he talked to, touched, or fucked the man’s daughter.

Lennox was hoping some of the initial bravery he’d seen in Randy would make a reappearance, but the kid continued to keep his distance from Sara.

“Come on, let’s grab something to eat,” Lennox told the teenager. He gestured to Kade, and the three of them trudged toward the kitchen.

After they’d eaten, Randy left to shower and change for the party, leaving Lennox alone with Kade, who leaned back in his chair and propped both hands behind his head. “I can’t wait to get back to camp.”

Lennox grinned. “Tired of Foxworth already?”

“Too many people here. It reminds me of the city,” Kade admitted. “Constantly bumping into someone every time you leave your room.”

“Did you live alone? When you were in the city, I mean?” Lennox had heard that once citizens turned eighteen, they were forced to leave their parents’ home and assigned new accommodations. But if they had siblings, they were allowed to live with them.

The other man nodded.

“Didn’t you have a brother? I thought Xan mentioned that before.”

Kade’s features went strained. “He had his own accommodations.”

“Ah. Okay.”

“I spoke to Xander today on the sat phone. They’re all eager to have us back.”

Kade’s brisk change of subject didn’t surprise him. It was damn near impossible getting details about the city out of the man. “How are the girls?”

“Piper’s driving Xan crazy.” Kade chuckled. “Keeps distracting him with blow jobs when he’s trying to work.”

That made him snort. “Sounds like a nightmare.”

“For Xan? Probably. You know how obsessed he is with his computers.”

Lennox toyed with the label on his beer bottle, running his fingers over the beads of condensation. “What’s the deal with you two anyway? You banging?”

“Why does everyone always ask that?” Kade asked in bewilderment.

“It’s not so crazy. You guys are always together. You share women.” Lennox shrugged. “Can’t blame me for wondering.”

Kade donned a thoughtful look. “Would it matter if we were?”

“Fuck no. People love who they love. Who cares if it’s two men, or two women, or two men and one women, or two women and —”

“I get the point, bro.”

Lennox offered another shrug. “Anyway, I was just curious. I’ve seen Xan with other guys before, so I wondered.”

Kade seemed surprised by that revelation.

“He’s bisexual. You didn’t know that?”

“No. I didn’t.”

The man sounded more intrigued than disgusted, which prompted Lennox to drop another bomb on him. “He sucked my dick once.”

Kade’s jaw fell open. “You shitting me?”

“Nope. It was a while ago, before he hooked up with Connor and the others. He used to visit our place a few times a year.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

Lennox rolled his eyes. “A hot mouth on my cock, sucking me dry? No, it was awful.” Laughing, he scraped his chair back. “Come on, let’s head out. We have the big ceremony. We won, remember?”

Outside, they went their separate ways and Lennox headed straight to his room, where he found Jamie walking around in a towel. He took a moment to admire her sweet curves and flawless skin that was still pink from her shower.

“How was dinner?” he asked.

“Fun. The girls are still bummed that we lost, but they’ll get over it, especially once the party starts. They’re all really excited about it.”

Of course they were. The teenagers in Foxworth had a curfew that was strictly enforced, which meant they were usually in bed once the booze started flowing and the clothes started coming off. Lennox didn’t blame Reese for trying to shield their innocent little eyes, but most of them were old enough to know about sex. Hell, most of them were already screwing each other.

“I’m hopping in the shower,” he said. “Wait for me and we’ll go together?”

She nodded absently as she bent over her duffel. “I’m not even close to being ready.”

Her cryptic comment followed him into the shower stall, because it didn’t usually take her much time to get dressed. She was feminine as all get out, sure, but she rarely wore makeup and her party attire typically consisted of tight jeans or skimpy dresses.

He didn’t linger under the hot spray, just soaped himself up, rinsed himself down, and dried himself off with a scratchy towel. Then he strode naked into the bedroom – and froze when he saw Jamie.

“Jesus,” he croaked. “Where’d you find that dress?”

“On a raid.” She did a little spin. “You like?”

Like? He fucking
loved
. The white dress was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen her wear, molding perfectly to her curves and stopping right below her knees. The gaping neckline revealed enough cleavage to make him drool, and when she spun around again, he noticed the back was perilously low cut too, nearly grazing the swell of her ass.

“I want you,” he growled. “Right now.”

She laughed. “Sorry, babe. Not on the agenda right now. Later, maybe.”

Maybe?
Yeah, right. He was going to be balls deep in her the second the party ended.

Lennox forced himself to stop ogling her, and searched his bag for something presentable to wear. If Jamie was going all out, he probably should too, but it turned out the fanciest shit he owned was a pair of black trousers and a rare long-sleeve without holes in it. Ah well. That’d have to do.

Ten minutes later, they walked hand in hand to the party. He still couldn’t stop staring at her. Her hair cascaded down her back like golden strands of silk. And she wore a string of pearls around her neck that disappeared into the sexy valley of her cleavage. Lennox planned on fishing those pearls out of there with his teeth later.

The party was already in full swing when they entered the rec hall. Nearly everyone in Foxworth was in attendance. The large room was packed with bodies, buzzing with voices and laughter.

“Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous!” Jamie gushed when they ran into Sara.

“Beautiful,” Lennox agreed.

The teenager blushed, fidgeting with the bottom of her red dress. Both the hem and neckline were modest, but the soft cotton material hugged her curves in an incredibly sensual way. Lennox was surprised Gideon had let her go out in public looking like that.

“Thank you.” Sara glanced enviously at the shiny white pearls around Jamie’s neck. “You look really pretty. Where did you get that necklace?”

Jamie grinned. “Stole it. Do you like it?”

“I love it,” the girl breathed. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life.”

Lennox’s heart squeezed when he saw Jamie’s expression soften. He knew exactly what she was going to do before she did it, yet he was still surprised as he watched her unclasp the necklace.

“Lift your hair up, sweetie,” she murmured.

Sara’s eyes widened as Jamie stepped up behind her. “What are you doing?”

“Completing your outfit. Not that it’s possible for you to look any prettier, but…” Jamie deftly secured the pearls around Sara’s slender throat, then stepped back to examine her handiwork. “Perfect.”

With an almost reverent touch, Sara slowly fingered the pearls. “I can’t accept this,” she said shyly.

“Too late.” With another grin, Jamie smacked a kiss on the teenager’s cheek before grabbing Lennox’s hand. “Come on, babe, let’s get out of here before she tries to give it back.”

He chuckled as she dragged him away, but stopped her before she could lead them to Beckett. Planting both hands on her hips, he dipped his head and kissed her. “That was damn nice of you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I have my moments.”

Then she kissed him back and his surroundings faded away. His cock hardened the moment their tongues met, and if Rylan’s voice hadn’t interrupted them, he probably would’ve taken her right there against the wall, to hell with all those teenage eyes.

“Where are my winners?” Rylan shouted. “Get over here, champs!”

Lennox reluctantly released her, a rueful smile playing on his lips. “Duty calls.”

“I’ll make sure to applaud extra loud for you,” she teased.

“You’d better.”

He joined his teammates, a group that included Randy, Kade, and the other men and women he’d spent the last month with. The ceremony itself was brief. Rylan must have already hit the bottle, because he delivered a ridiculous speech about triumph and perseverance that made everyone roll their eyes. After Lennox’s team took their bows, the individual winners were announced, and Jamie released a deafening whistle when Sara took the prize for her superior target-shooting skills.

Everyone remained in high spirits after Rylan wrapped up the formalities. The music was turned up. The crowd got wilder. Lennox caught several of the teenagers sneaking sips of booze, but he pretended not to notice. They’d worked hard this month. They deserved to get a little drunk and have some fun.

Lennox threaded through the crowd in search of Jamie, finally tracking her to one of the couches, where she was chatting with Bethany. The sight of Bethany’s enormous belly triggered a wave of uneasiness. He didn’t know how Arch did it. If Jamie was carrying his child, Lennox would be a total basket case. He’d probably never let her leave the house.

“Hey, champ,” the pregnant woman greeted him. “Come join us. Jamie was telling me about the time she caught you jacking off on the beach.”

He turned to glare at his woman. “Seriously? Why is that a topic of conversation?”

“Because it was hot,” Jamie retorted. “And you should be flattered that I’m sitting here raving about your cock.”

His lips curved smugly. “I do have a great cock.”

Bethany hooted as he settled in beside Jamie. “Prove it,” she taunted.

Lennox opened his mouth, but Jamie answered for him. “Sorry, Bethy, but
this
” – she clamped her palm over Lennox’s groin – “is for my eyes only.”

Her proprietary statement made him harden in her hand. Jamie noticed, and turned to wink at him.
Later,
she mouthed.

Damn fucking right.

“What are you doing out here, gorgeous?”

Reese jumped when she heard Rylan’s voice from behind her. She’d been staring at the torches that lined the street, fascinated by the way the flames cast shadows on the sidewalk. Although Foxworth had electricity thanks to the city’s power grid, she rarely turned on the streetlights at night. Unless it was raining out, she preferred to light the torches.

She turned around and reluctantly waited for Rylan to join her, hoping he wasn’t about to push her for details again. Sloan had filled her in about the chat he’d had with the man, how Rylan had yet again extended an offer of assistance, but she still hadn’t decided when to include Connor and his men. Not
if
, because joining up with them was an inevitability. She would be stupid not to take advantage of Connor’s skills and resources.

But it wasn’t the time yet.

“You should be inside.” Rylan frowned, shoving both hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Why? What do you need?”

“It’s not what I need. It’s what
you
need.” He sounded exasperated. “You asked for this, Reese. You wanted your people to be strong. So now come inside and see how strong they’ve become. Celebrate with them.”

She really didn’t feel like it. Despite the positive energy floating through town today, she’d been carrying around a weight of foreboding since she opened her eyes this morning. She had a bad feeling something terrible was on the horizon, as if there were a sea of black tar slowly creeping up to her gates.

But Rylan had a point. She needed to support her people. That was what a good leader did, right?

“Come on,” he prompted.

He took her hand and dragged her toward the front steps of the building, and she let him, because she knew he was right. A dark figure stepped out of the shadows just as they reached the door. Sloan, emerging from whatever corner he’d been holed up in. She wasn’t surprised or bothered by that. Sloan’s presence was soothing. It enabled her to let down her guard, knowing that he was always there for her.

Loud drum and bass met her ears when they walked inside. Seeing the smiling, happy faces of her people eased some of the pressure in her chest. She accepted the small glass Rylan handed her and slugged back the fiery shot of tequila, welcoming the burn.

In the blink of an eye, Rylan swiped the empty glass from her hand and set it on a nearby edge. “Dance with me,” he said.

Reese’s gaze instantly sought out Sloan. He was leaning against the wall near the door, his impenetrable gaze fixed on the male hand on her arm. When he gave a slight nod, she allowed Rylan to lead her toward the crowd.

Big hands circled her waist. One of them jostled the radio sticking out of her back pocket, so he slid his palms lower, loosely resting them on her ass. Her body responded to his nearness. To his masculine scent. After a moment of hesitation, she looped her arms around his strong shoulders.