Addiction (35 page)

Now that I’m left alone, my mind wanders back over the night. He’s a cop? How in the hell could I have been so stupid? I seriously thought he was a drug dealer. I laugh at myself. But I should have known, he never did a single pill in front of me. He never seemed high. The way he turned down those drugs Rox had offered him. Geez, I fell in love with a cop who I thought was a drug dealer. I start to laugh again, but I cut it out the minute the nurse returns and looks at me as if she wants to have me committed. 

Three hours and countless tests later, I find myself back in my bed. Alone. I haven’t seen or heard a word from Case since he found out Brecken had been shot. And I have no clue where my brother is. Being alone with only my thoughts has actually been torture. The thoughts of how much time I have shared with Case. How hard I fell for him. How bad I ached for his touch. How much time he took up in my mind. I can honestly say I love him. It doesn’t matter if he is a drug dealer or a cop. I could get over any of that. What breaks my heart is he doesn’t feel the same way about me. It was all a lie. All part of his job. I was nothing but another task he had to do. And I made it so fucking easy for him as I fell at his feet. I hate myself for it.

“Hello, Taylor!”

I look at the doctor who enters my room wide-eyed. “Doc?” I ask.

He smiles warmly at me. “I heard you guys had an incident at the club,” he states as he comes to sit down in the chair beside my bed.

“I don’t know about it being an incident,” I say truthfully. Someone wanted to hurt Case and his friends.

He nods in agreement and then looks down at the chart in his hand. “I looked over your tests. It seems you have a mild concussion and a sprained wrist, but other than that, everything looks normal. I informed Case that you can go home after we wrap your wrists.”

“Case?” I choke on his name.

“Yes, I spoke to him earlier. He came looking for you, but you were gone for CT.” I hate how excited that makes me feel. That he was actually concerned enough to come and check on me.

“Thank you,” I say bowing my head in shame; I can’t believe that makes me feel warm inside. I’m supposed to hate him. I do hate him!

“No problem.” He pats my leg. “A nurse will be in shortly. In the meantime, just relax.”

I let out a long breath as I watch him leave, alone once again. I lean back and close my eyes. Just trying to relax my body. I’m sore. And I’m freaking tired. So freaking tired! And my heart hurts. Yes, there were times he had masked his emotions. Times I couldn’t read anything. But there were times he touched me softly. He would whisper in my ear. The way he held me close to his body after we had sex. I thought it was more than sex, but I was wrong. So wrong!

The hair on my neck stands to attention and a feeling that I’m being watched creeps up my spine.

I open my eyes and see Case standing in front of the now closed curtain, staring at me. His expression unreadable, I feel a knot form in my throat. I try to clear it with a cough. “Is Brecken okay?” I ask. I may be mad at him, but I do care for Brecken’s safety.

“He survived surgery,” he says flatly. I hate when he does this, gives me no sign of emotion whatsoever.

I place my hands on my lap and look down to check the card that the nurse handed me sitting there. I pick it up. “What’s that?” Before I can answer, he comes over and takes it from me, brow raised in question as he reads over it.

“The nurse gave it to me. She thinks you beat me,” I inform him with bite.

He snorts, wads it up, and then tosses it into the trash beside my bed. “Well, you did give me a concussion and a sprained wrist.”

His face falls and regret flashes in his beautiful blue eyes. The same ones I’ve looked into so many times before. “I’m sorry.” He speaks softly. “I was just trying to …”

“I know what you were doing,” I interrupt him. He had moved quickly. I didn’t even know what was happening until it was too late. And the way his office looked afterwards, I would have been shot if he hadn’t saved me.

He clears his throat. “You can’t go home,” he declares going back to that same roughness as before.

Figures. I don’t know what the hell happened at the club exactly, but I know they do. And although he broke my heart, he’s proved several times I can trust him to keep me safe. “So where do I go?”

“You’re going to stay with me.” I open my mouth to protest. “There’s nowhere else for you to go.” He speaks before I can get anything out.

I narrow my eyes on him. “And whose fault is that?” I growl.

“You think I chose this?” he snaps.

I huff. “No. I think you saw an opportunity to get a piece of ass …”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he says sounding put out.

He spins around, and I lean up to look around him when the curtain gets pulled back.“Okay, so …” The nurse enters the room sounding cheerful, but the moment she sees Case standing next to me, she stops. He throws her a charming smile, and I wanna roll my eyes but refrain from doing so. I don’t wanna make this situation any more uncomfortable than it already is. “I need you to clear the room,” she says eyeing him up and down with disgust.

“I’ll stay,” he announces as if she had requested he leave.

She narrows her eyes at him and then looks at me. “It’s fine,” I say softly. She gives me a look of disapproval but doesn’t say anything else as she starts to work on my wrist.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

CASE

“Is he going to be okay?” Miller asks a woman in light blue scrubs as we stand outside of Brecken’s ICU room

“He has sustained some very critical injuries.” I can tell she’s trying to let him down easily, but she doesn’t know him as well as we do. He’s a fighter. He’ll pull through. He has to; I don’t know what I would do without my best friend.

“I’m going to stay here with him tonight,” he states as he turns to face me.

I nod. “I’m gonna take Taylor to my house and get her settled. I’ll be back in a few hours.” I look at my watch. Is it really eight in the morning? Shit!

“No. Stay with her tonight. Come back tomorrow after a long night’s rest.” He hangs his head. He feels responsible. He came back to check on Taylor and me when he should have run after and helped Brecken. I would have done the same, but telling him won’t make him feel any better.

I turn away from his room and see Taylor walking down the hallway toward me, that stupid nurse hanging onto her arm by her side. No doubt Taylor talked her into leaving the wheelchair back in her room. She leans down and whispers something into her ear as Taylor stares at me with narrowed eyes.

“Ready?” I ask once they reach me.

“Yes,” she says not bothering to stop. She just walks on past me toward the front door.

“Bastard,” the nurse whispers. I just ignore her because, in a sense, she is right. Just not the way she thinks.

I make my way to the car and open the door for her. She doesn’t even bother to thank me. We get on the highway going south toward downtown, and she swings her head around to look out the back window. “Where are we going?” she questions in confusion. “I thought we were going to the club?”

“Even if I hadn’t shut the club down, I still wouldn’t go there.” I give her a quick glance before placing my eyes back on the road. “I’m taking you to my home. My real home.”

“Right,” she quips. “You’re an undercover cop. Of course, you don’t live at the club.” She gives a dark laugh. “Did you only stay there when I stayed over?” She swings her head to look over at me. “You just needed a place to fuck me?” she demands. “Let me guess. You’re married. And you didn’t want your wife to find out about your little whore.” Her voice cracking proves how hurt and angry she is with me. I hate that’s what she thinks. That she thinks I could be that low of a person. But aren’t I? Does it really matter what I lied about? I don’t think so. You only have to tell one lie before you lose all trust.

I tighten my hand on the steering wheel. “No. I’m not married. And no, I didn’t just stay there when I fucked you. I have been living at the club since Brecken and I opened it. It was part of being undercover.”

“What is your real name?” she demands. “’Cause I know it’s not Cason.” Her words drip with sarcasm.

I take a deep breath. “My name is Tyler.” A silence settles over the car and a quick glance over at her tells me that she has tears running down her face. “Taylor, I …”

“Stop,” she says brokenly. “Just stop, Ca … Tyler.” She sniffs. “Just drop it.”

I do as she asks. We pass downtown in silence. The only sound is her occasional sniff or the movement of her hand wiping the tears from her eyes. I hate what I’ve done to her. But I never thought it would go this far. I never thought I could fall for her or she could feel the same way about me. I’m just a drug dealer, remember? How could someone like her ever see anything in me other than failure?

I get off the highway and drive a few more miles. I pull off the four-lane road onto the one-way road to my house. I’ve owned this house for about five years now. And to be honest, I’m scared to death to bring her here. This is my only place away from the life I have made for myself. It holds every secret I’ve ever had. It is the real me! All I can do is hope the fact she’s mad at me will keep her from asking any questions.

I reach up and hit the garage opener on the visor of my car and pull into the garage. She stays quiet as I close the garage and open the car door for her before the door to enter the house as well. She walks into the back part of the kitchen slowly as she looks around. I take the chance to look around as well. I’m never here because it hurts too much. I have a cleaning lady who cleans every so often, but I can’t recall the last time I actually stayed here. Even before Brecken and I opened the club, I didn’t live here.

“Blane should be here soon with Savannah. They are bringing your things,” I inform her as I close the door behind me.

She stops in the living room and turns to face me. Tears run down her beautiful face and she holds her wrapped wrist to her chest with the other. “I can’t do this,” she whispers. “I thought I could. But I can’t stay here with you.” She looks away from me.

I take a step toward her, and I watch her chest rise and fall as she takes a deep breath. “I know you’re mad at me.”
I hate you
is what she said to me at the hospital. And she should. “You have every right to hate me. But I am still doing my job. I’m going to protect you, and this is where you will be the safest.”

More tears run down her face. “So now, I’m just a job.” The words are spoken softly, but they still have the power to knock the wind out of me.

I wanna tell her of course you’re not. Do you have any idea what I’ve done in order to keep you safe? Do you know how many rules I have broken because you became my addiction? The one thing I soon found out would destroy me in the end but considered to continue with this facade? But instead, I say, “Blane and Savannah are going to be staying here as well. It won’t be just you and me.” Her shoulders sag in relief. “You can have my room. I’m gonna sleep on the couch.” It’s almost nine in the morning now; Brecken had woke us up a little after five. And we had only been asleep for about an hour when he woke us. I know she has to be exhausted.

She nods her head, and I take that is the best I’m going to get from her at the moment. I pass her and walk to my room to grab a few things. I wanna shower and just go to sleep. Put this horrible day behind us. I would say tomorrow is a new day, but hell, this day just started. And we all know that tomorrow isn’t gonna get any better.

TAYLOR

I wipe the tears from my face as he walks off down a hallway. I sniff and wipe the tears on his sweatpants I am still wearing.

I’m trapped here! I’m trapped in a house with a man I allowed myself to fall for. A man I don’t even know. At least he did say Blane and Savannah would be here soon.

Looking around his house, I take in a shaky breath.
Just calm down, Taylor
. No need to let him see how worked up you get over him. A picture on his mantel catches my eyes. I walk over to it and pick it up. It has him and three other people in it. It looks like his family. He looks young, sixteen maybe. His hair is dark and shaved close to his head, and his face is clear of facial hair. He’s smiling big as he’s hunched over, and a woman is up on his back, piggyback style, her long dark hair thrown over one shoulder. She looks just like him! It’s almost scary at how much she looks like him. They have the same smile. The same beautiful blue eyes. Her nose is a little slimmer, but they look just alike. She could be his sister. And she’s absolutely gorgeous.

A woman stands to the right of them; she’s looking over her right shoulder at them with a big smile on her face. A man stands behind her; he’s much taller than she is. His arms are around her waist, and he’s looking down at the older woman, who I’m guessing is his mother. You see these family portraits in a magazine. The kind used in family ads. They all look perfectly happy. And it makes me mad because I know he is no longer this guy in this picture. I’ve never seen that smile on his face. One so carefree. You can feel the love these four have for each other, yet he has never once mentioned them.

I set the picture down and take off down the same hallway he had. I open a few doors trying to find the master bedroom. I open the last door on the right and I find him standing in the room, a towel wrapped around his hips. Water still drips from his hair down onto his hard chest and chiseled stomach. I watch it as it goes lower into his towel. I look him in the eyes, not wanting to think anything except for the hatred I have for this stranger.

“What do you want, Taylor?” his deep voice asks flatly.

What do I want? That’s a loaded question. “I want the truth,” I snap.

He rolls his shoulders as if they’re tight. “Well, you’re not gonna get it.”

My mouth falls open. “Don’t you think I deserved that?” I demand.

His jaw tightens, and he starts to walk to me. “What about what I deserve?” he asks raising a dark eyebrow.

He can’t be serious. “What you deserve? What makes you think you deserve anything?”
He did save your life, Taylor
. Yeah, only to ruin it.

His jaw twitches, and he tightens his grip on the towel around his hips. “You have no idea what I did for you!” he yells. “You have no idea what it has cost me.”

“I cost you?” I ask in disbelief. “You took advantage of me.”
You made me fall for you.

He cocks an eyebrow and leans down, placing his face in front of mine. “I took nothing from you that you didn’t willingly throw in my face,” he replies flatly. I gasp. “Oh, please. Don’t act so fucking innocent. We both know you’re not!”

I place my hands on my hips and just stare up at him because part of that is true. I willing gave him everything my body had to offer, and he used it and then broke it. “What did you give up?” I decide to ask. “What did I cost you? Because you don’t seem to be hurting,” I snap, choosing to be angry other than sad about what I did.

“I broke every rule I had for you,” he sneers.

I throw my head back and let out a laugh. A crazy, losing my mind laugh because that’s all I can do in this situation. Laugh at it.

His arms strongly grip my shoulders and it cuts off my laughing as I look up at him. “Laugh all you want, sweetheart.” His voice is hard. “But I had those rules for a reason. You wanna know what you did to me? You wanna know why I couldn’t tell you the truth? You wanna know why I continued to go on letting you think I was someone I wasn’t?” I swallow nervously. “Well, today is your lucky day because I’m gonna tell you. You made me feel like I was someone different. You made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I really wasn’t a person living a fucking lie. That maybe one day I could be the husband you wanted and give you the family you deserved.” My heart stops at his confession. “For once, I wasn’t confused about my life. I knew what I wanted, and I was getting it.” He sighs heavily. Removing one hand from my shoulders, he uses it to run down his still wet face. “I’ve felt dead for so long, Taylor,” his voice says softly. “You made me feel alive. You made me feel worth something. That fire you lit inside of me woke me up. You made me feel like I had a chance. A chance at living.” He releases my shoulders with his other hand, and he reaches up, softly wiping the single tear from my cheek. “I fell in love with you, Taylor. And you’re right, I took advantage of that opportunity. The feeling you gave me. If I had told you the truth, you would have left me. And I wasn’t willing to let you go.” I close my eyes.
He loves me?
When I open them, his blue eyes are searching my face. “And if I could, I would let you leave and walk out of my life right now. But I can’t. Tonight proves that me keeping you so close has put your life in danger. But once I know you’re safe, you’ll be free to go.” He pulls away from me and walks over to his closet.

I stand here, heart beating wildly and eyes glossy with tears, as he dresses. Once he’s done, he walks out of the closet and looks at me. His blue eyes search mine and he takes in a deep breath. “I truly am sorry for what I have done to you. But I promise if you just give me a few more days. I will fix it all and you never have to see me again.” With that, he walks out of his room and closes the door softly behind him.

My body shakes as a sob comes out. I fall down onto the bed and cry.