Affairs & Atonements (2 page)

She picked out a cute lacey cocktail summer dress with a high bodice which she had bought a long time ago with some birthday cash she had saved. She remembered wearing it only once. She had been looking for something pretty to wear to the Pryor’s Christmas party. She had wanted to impress Ashton but like always, he had barely glanced at her.

She sighed and pulled the dress on. There was no use in weeping over a boy who would never give her the time of day. She heated up her straightening iron and did her best with her long dark hair. A few loose curls at its ends would make her reasonably presentable. Weren’t first impressions always important? She touched her face with a little make-up and then pulled on a little white lavender cardigan to match her dress.

She assessed her full length in the mirror, biting her lips. She was no ravishing beauty. Perhaps, this was why Ashton never bothered to pay her any attention. He had a hundred of girls always drooling about him and she hardly was a match.

The doorbell rang and she knew it had to be Brendan. She grabbed her wallet and raced down the stairs to open the door. She realized though, Ashton had beaten her to it. He now watched her grimly, his eyes darkened dangerously as she stepped down from the staircase.

“Brendan.” She tried a smile but her voice quavered instead. She wished to dear God, Ashton would leave so she could regain some composure. Thankfully, her blond handsome date smiled.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes. Give me a minute and I’ll just Linda know.”

“Don’t worry about Linda,” Ashton spoke up. “I’ll let her know.”

He looked at her sharply over his eyebrows and then glanced away just as quick as if she was disagreeable to look at.

“Have a great time,” he said to Brendan.

Her eyes stung with her tears. He’s goodwill and that smile he gave to her date cut her deeply. He didn’t care. He didn’t care at all about her.

She pushed past the men and rushed out the door. “We should go, Brendan. Hilda hates it when I’m late.”

*****

“You alright, Christy?” Hilda asked her over the table.

“Yes, yes,” Christy stammered.

“Is it Linda?”

Christy smiled. “Yes, but it’s not just her. I suppose I’m just tired of my life. I can’t wait to leave that house, Hilda. To get away. To start a life of my own.”

“You’re almost there.” Hilda clasped her palm, giving her an encouraging rub on her knuckles. “Just hang in there, okay? You’re going to be eighteen in a month. And then you can do whatever you want.”

She nodded, biting her lip, hoping dearly she would get the freedom she desired greatly. But what would she do if she moved out? Where would she go? She needed a job and she had to start looking for one as soon as she could.

“The boys are coming back, so cheer up okay?” Hilda smiled. “Who knows, Brendan might be your ticket out of Linda’s?”

*****

They sat together laughing at each other’s jokes like most normal teenagers. Someone looking upon them would have supposed they were carefree, unaffected by the burdens of life and their future.

And she would have thought the three young people sitting with her would actually have all that. They all came from stable families with good financial backgrounds. Hilda’s parents were teachers. She had long envied Hilda’s relationship with her mother. Megan Eddings, Hilda’s mom was always very empathetic of her situation, inviting her often for meals and sleepovers. She wondered what her own mother might be like if she wasn’t half-crazed over her latest boyfriend. Who was it recently? Luke… Luke…

Her eyes fell over the young man coming through the door to stand in the entrance, glancing at the customers as if he was looking for something. His blue eyes clashed with hers and immediately his jaw line tensed. He took long quick strides towards her and as he came closer, she stared in puzzlement at him, wondering why he was here.

“We need to go,” he announced, his tall broad presence looming over her.

“Ashton...,” she mumbled nervously. “Is there anything wrong?”

He grabbed her wrist, pulling her out of her chair.

“I’m sorry, Brendan. But something came up and Christy needs to leave immediately.”

“I… of course,” Brendan mumbled confusedly. “What-”

But Ashton hadn’t waited for him to answer. He was already mid-way to the door, dragging Christy behind him, leaving her companions in a state of bafflement.

“Get in,” he commanded as he approached his vehicle.

She pulled away roughly from him. “What’s going on?” she growled. “What do you think you’re doing dragging me out like that?!”

He stared at her and then opened the car door. “Get in.”

She disliked his tone and immediately opened her mouth to tell him so. But when he lifted an eyebrow, she decided it was in her best interest to do as he said- for now.

She sat quietly, staring out at the passing vehicles. She had done well in holding herself steady and composed, but her heart pulsed rapidly at thought of being so close to the man she had always admired. Tonight, he had dragged her out of her first date. Why? Why when he had otherwise rarely paid her any attention before. There could be no possible reason other than something had happened at home. Was it Elise? Had Linda, perhaps, forgotten about her in all her sorrow? Her body froze and she turned to him, her face awash with shock.

“Elise… Is Elise alright?” she sputtered.

“Elise?” Ashton asked with puzzlement. “Yes, of course. Why would you think anything was wrong with her?”

Christy reddened with partial embarrassment and rage. “Because you dragged me out from my date.”

“Oh, right,” he drawled, leaning an elbow against the window.

“Is that all you have to say to me?”

He shrugged which only enraged her more.

“Why did you come for me?” she asked, trying to retain some self-control.

“Why did you go on a date with Brendan Croydon?”

“Wha… What?” she uttered in disbelief. “What has that to do with anything?” She had spoken her thoughts out aloud. But really, what had that have to do with anything at all?! “That’s none of your business. You don’t have any right to interfere with my private life. Unless, of course, you have a perfectly good reason...”

“I do,” he replied flatly.

“Excuse me?”

He swerved off the road, skidding to a stop.

She caught onto the sides of her seat in complete surprise. She noticed he had only stopped a few meters from her house.

She turned to demand what he was he trying to prove when she caught him in the midst of moving closer to her. She pulled back as he braced an arm on her headrest.

“What… what are you doing?” she stammered, her body heating from his growing closeness.

“What if I said I wanted to have a right to interfere… in your private life?”

Her eyes widened. What was he saying? “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. I know you’ve been attracted to me from the very first day we met. All those little glances you do with your eyes. And those little…,” he glanced down to her lips. “Those little bites you do to your lips,” he rasped against her face. He cupped her face, his thumb tracing the shape of her mouth. “You know what you do to me. You’ve known it all along.”

“That can’t be true,” she gasped. “I didn’t know. You’ve never showed it.”

“No, I didn’t.” He tilted her chin up to him. “Because you were a minor. And I couldn’t wait for you to grow up. I wouldn’t have minded another month. You were turning eighteen soon anyway. But then Brendan Croydon interfered and I got scared.”

“You’re lying,” she muttered, her tears welling in her eyes. “You’re teasing me.” She grasped for the door handle behind her. It had to be that. He was teasing her. He was no different from his cruel sister. He was playing with her heart. He knew how she felt about him. He was toying with her feelings.

“Christy.” He breathed, leaning down to take her lips.

Not like this! This was not how she had imagined it! How could he?!
She screamed inside herself. She pushed him away with all her pent-up rage and opened the door, almost tripping out of it.

She ran the last yards to her house, wanting to escape into the safe confines of her bedroom.

*****

She lay back on the soft, grassy mattress, looking up at the dying sun. She was alone and yet the memories of that dreaded evening from two nights ago didn’t leave her mind. He didn’t chase her and she was confused about that. Should he have, or not? Would she have been angry if he had? But he hadn’t come after her, which could only ever mean that he had been playing with her.

She cupped her face, going crazy from the myriad of possibilities running through her head.

Does he love me? Does he not?
she repeated in her mind. She must truly be losing it. She was playing stupid love games in her head.

“So this is where you go to hide away.” His voice broke through her thoughts.

She snapped opened her eyes, startled by him.

“What are you doing here?” She burst out, sitting up immediately.

“Looking for you.”

“Why?” she asked gruffly, dusting herself as she rose up to her feet.

“Isn’t it obvious? You bolted and never gave me an answer.”

“I don’t remember you asking me anything.”

He leaned forward and picked out a grass straw from her hair. The touch of his hand against her hair tingled her and her first instinct was to draw back. But that would only make her appear naïve and silly, she told herself, doing her best instead to hold her ground.

“Very well. I’ll ask you again. What do you think of us?” he asked silkily.

“Us? There can’t be us.” She shivered at the mere thought of them together. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the Huntleys and the Pryors aren’t exactly the best of friends.”

She walked away from him. If he refused to go, then she would have to. Because being so close to him and talking about a possibility of them being together quavered her already unsteady legs.

He caught her elbow and swung her to him.

“Stop that,” he growled.

“Let go of me!” she snapped.

“Will you stop that?! Stop that now!”

She stared up at him in bewilderment. What did he want from her?!

He hooked his feet behind her legs and tripped her to the grassy floor of the meadow. He went down with her, his hand protecting her head as she fell. The thickness of the grass cushioned her fall, but his hard body slammed against her and she let out a small cry.

“What are you doing?!” she screamed. “Get off me!”

She slapped at him and he caught her flailing hands and pinned it to either side of her head.

“You’re such a fiery one,” he grinned. “Who would have imagined? You’re always so quiet.”

“If I am under attack, you can’t expect me to just lie back and take it,” she minced.

“I suppose not,” he muttered. “So don’t do that. Don’t run.”

He breathed rapidly above her, staring down into her face. His eyes darkened, his body growing stiff.

“You make me crazy,” he mumbled. “Delirious, mad… I try to stop myself. But it just happens. Each time I see you. Don’t you see? It’s why I had avoided you. You make me… lose control…”

He let go of her and rolled off her and to her side.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He ran his hand through his hair.

She sat up, looking down onto him, wondering if she should take her chance and leave. Instead, she sat glued to her spot, fascinated by his vulnerable side. One she’d never witnessed in the usually confident Ashton Pryor.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He squinted at her.

“Like how?” she could only whisper back. What was happening to her? She should have been smart and run for her life.

He pulled her down onto him.

“Like that,” he whispered. “Like the way you’re doing now.”

“And what if I did?”

“I’d kiss you.”

Her body tensed and her tongue licked her lower lip. His eyes followed its movement and his hand began to slowly caress her back. He rolled her back onto the grass, with him over her again.

“I want to… can I…?” He palmed her cheek, gently stroking her lips with his thumb.

“Ashton,…” she uttered.

But she couldn’t say anymore because his mouth came down upon hers, possessing it hard and fast. He tongue wielded its way into her mouth, coaxing it, playing with it. She moaned, her fingers clutching the sides of his shirt, at his waist. His hands maneuvered its way beneath her shirt, desperate for a feel of her soft flesh. He clasped her small waist, tugging her close to him as he trailed her jaw with his lips and down to her neck.

“You taste… smell so good,” he rasped.

Something poked hard against her belly and she froze, looking down her to catch the tented front of his pants.

“Ashton…,” she muttered, unsure of what to do. She had read about erections, heard of her friends’ experiences as they boasted about how hard they could make their boyfriends. But seeing that she could elicit the same reaction from the boy she had long fantasized about, took her breath away.

He sighed, leaning his head in the curve of her neck.

“You now know how much I want you.” He breathed. “But I can’t… I can’t…”

“
I
… want you,” she whispered back, as she closed her eyes. Yes, she had always wanted him. He might never speak to her again after today but she didn’t care. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he decided to not know her later. She was used to being last in everyone’s priority. Always was the first though in hand-me-downs. But today, the man of her dreams wanted her and she wasn’t going to back-off. She wanted to lose her virginity to the man she loved and not to someone in the back of a car because she couldn’t find anyone else to do the deed.

“I want you, Ashton,” she repeated.

He raised his head, his eyes darkened with his passion.

“I can’t, Christy.” He threaded his hands through her hair. “You’re a minor. I can’t.”

“That’s silly. I’m only eight months younger than you.”

“Yes, but you’re not eighteen yet.”

“There are ways,” she whispered. “You know there are.”

He stared at her, contemplating her words.

“I want you,” she said again. “I want to feel you.”

“I don’t have protection and I’m sure you’re not on any. Unless…”

“No, I’m not, but it doesn’t matter,” she muttered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He took her mouth again, kissing her hard, sucking the breath out of her.

“There’s no turning back if we do this,” he moaned. “It would be too hard on me.”

“I know.”

His hands ran up her legs to find the moist epicenter of her womanhood. She was wet and eager to have him. The mere touch of his fingers through her panties stilled her. He located her opening and inserted two fingers into it. She arched with ecstasy, never having experienced anything like it.

“Ashton…,” she mumbled.

“I want it to be special for you, Christy,” he groaned biting into her flesh just above her bosom. “Not like this.”

“But I don’t want you to stop.”

“And I can’t.”

He reached down to his fly and pulled down his zipper.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down into her eyes. “I promise you I’ll do better next time. But for now…”

He pushed hard into her and she felt the hardened tip of his manhood press into her core through his cotton briefs. It was enough, she said to herself as she closed her eyes, her passion rushing through her veins like a drug. He rubbed against her core and she groaned, losing her breath slightly. She clawed into his back as he rocked with her, the tall grass whistling in the little breeze, swaying to its own music.

*****

“Marry me,” he said, cupping her face.

“Ashton.” She looked up bewilderedly into his eyes. “I’m only going to turn eighteen. Don’t you think you’re being a little impulsive?”

“I want you.”

“And I want you too. But you don’t have to worry. It’s not even like we really did it. I’m still a virgin.” She blushed slightly from her recollection of how their steamy bodies locked together with passion only a few minutes ago.

“You want out, right?” he said seriously. “You want to move out of Marshall and Linda’s. But where will you go? What will you do? I can give you all that.”

“Ashton.” She pushed him away worriedly. “Yes, I do want that. But I don’t think marriage is the way to go about it. We’ve got a whole life ahead of us for that. And we still have so much to learn as a couple.”