After the Ending (10 page)

“Of course I can!” she interrupted, her outburst slurred.
“Can’t you see it? She ruined
everything
! A day earlier and
Kasey’d
still be alive!
Dani
,” my name was spat out
like a curse, “made us wait.
She
made us too late!
She
killed my
sister!”

Jason’s even voice came next. “Cece, calm the fuck down.
You chose—”

“Jason,” I interrupted, exiting the stairwell with my
dog.

Jason held my gaze with unexpected emotion: worry and guilt.
It took minimal consideration to understand that he hadn’t wanted me to
overhear the exchange. He’d have kept the incident from me completely if he’d
had his way. I wished he’d stop sheltering me like the little girl he’d once
known. She was gone.

“If you have a problem with me, talk to me,” I told Cece,
who looked smug…not to mention a little unsteady on her feet.

“Talk to
you
? Fine,” Cece seethed. “
You
are
the reason my sister was murdered. If we’d gotten to Portland a day sooner,
she’d still be alive. With
me
. But you killed her because you’re
weak
.
You couldn’t get over your stupid dead
boyfriend
, so we all had to stay
and wait for poor little
you
to get better. WELL GUESS WHAT?! YOUR
STUPID FUCKING WEAKNESS KILLED MY SISTER! YOU KILLED HER, AND I’D GIVE ANYTHING
FOR YOU TO BE DEAD INSTEAD!”

Stunned, I let my fiery Irish side kick in and forfeited
control of my mouth. “At least
I
mourned my dead. You really looked like
the grieving sister while you had your hand down Jason’s pants out in the
winery! I might be weak, but at least I’m not a slut. Your sister dies, and all
you can think about is the next guy you’re gonna bang. You
disgust
me.”

Cece took several steps closer and hissed, “bitch,” right
before she slapped me across the face. Hard.

I covered my stinging cheek with one hand as Jason
maneuvered between us, attempting to block the irate woman from reaching me
again. I worked my jaw slowly, surprised by how badly it hurt.

“Back the fuck off!” Jason growled at Cece, his voice
slicing through the tense atmosphere like a blade.

She backed up and continued her tirade. “You know what?
Everyone
else’ll
blame you too. Know why? Because
it’s
your fault
. All the murders and suicides…we could’ve saved them if
we’d been quicker, if we hadn’t waited for
you
. You should just leave!”

I stepped out from Jason’s protective barrier. “I’m sure
you’re used to getting whatever you want,” I told Cece.
Like Jason,
I
thought and glanced angrily at the man trying to protect me. “You think I’ll
just bow out and let you walk all over me. Well you can go to hell. I’m sure
you’re expected.”

Straight-backed and only a little hurried, I ascended the
stairs to my room. Once I was alone, shielded by the closed door, I began to
cry.

Date: December 18, 4:30 PM

From: Danielle O’Connor

To: Zoe Cartwright

Subject: Am I a Murderer?

Zo,

Sorry I had to end that last email so abruptly. There was an
incident downstairs. Cece was raging about how I needed to leave the group
because I caused the death of her sister. You see, everyone had to stay in
Seattle longer than planned. Because of me…because it took me a few days to
recuperate…and Cece’s sister was murdered only a day or two before we found
her. Jason said it was brutal, almost impossible to look at. If they hadn’t waited
around for me to regain my strength, Cece might’ve made it to her sister in
time to prevent the murder.

So now I sit here, writing to you and watching Jack’s
worried doggy face as he whimpers at me. Oddly, I feel like he’s telling me,
“bite, attack, kill,” not, “I feel sad.” Now why would I think that?

I feel like crap. I’m going to finish this bottle of wine
and then try to fall asleep. Hopefully I won’t dream for once.

Dani

Zoe

Still shaking from the cold, I wrapped the army-green, wool
blanket more tightly around me. As I watched our new military acquaintances
settle in for the evening, I leaned against the arm of the shabby, apple-red
loveseat and soaked up the heat from the fire. It felt like a weight had been
lifted off my shoulders—a weight I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying. We were
no longer alone.

Since their arrival, the group of three had transformed
our kitchen into a makeshift command post. There was something comforting about
their presence. They hustled around like bees readying the hive for a queen,
rattling off commands and acronyms I didn’t understand. They seemed capable and
in control, a façade I struggled to maintain.

“The signal’s too spotty—I can’t hold a connection,”
Biggs announced as he searched for a specific radio frequency. He shifted from
one computer screen to another fluidly, like he was performing a dance he’d
practiced a thousand times. I envied him; he had a sense of purpose, a duty to
uphold, and he did so without hesitation. They all did.

“Hopefully it’s just the storm. We’ll have to wait until
it passes. Keep it on this channel. If someone tries to communicate from Fort
Knox again, I want to know about it,” Lieutenant Sanchez said, her voice calm
and collected. She was busy jotting down notes, sketching on maps, and
strategizing for their departure in only a day’s time.

Biggs’s fingers pecked at a keyboard efficiently. “I’ll
check the satellite again. Maybe the storm will pass sooner than we thought.”

“Here,” a pleasant, confident voice said, pulling me from
my thoughts. I looked up to see Harper’s outreached hand, offering me a cup of
tea. He smelled of rubbing alcohol and mint.

“Thanks.” I nodded at him gratefully and accepted the
steaming cup with numb hands. The hot ceramic stung my frozen fingers, but the
smell of chamomile tea conjured thoughts of Grams, making my discomfort
bearable.

“Are you warming up?” Harper’s smile was kind and sincere
as he stood across from me and sipped from his own mug. Shaking his head, he
sat down on the edge of the couch opposite mine. “I still can’t believe you
heard us outside.”

“I didn’t hear you. Dave did, miraculously,” I scoffed,
thinking of Dave’s drunken state. I sipped the scalding liquid. It burned when it
touched my lips, but I welcomed the heat as it warmed my body from the inside
out.

“I was surprised to see you outside with so little on.”
Harper’s eyes surveyed my now blanket-covered body. “We thought you were crazy
at first.” He winked and leaned back, relaxing for the first time since their
arrival.

My heart skipped a beat as I considered the strange
sensations I’d been experiencing.
Crazy. If you only knew…

“Yeah, well, I guess I wasn’t thinking clearly. But I’m
getting warm now, finally.” I closed my eyes, appreciating the heat that licked
up the side of my face from the fire. The chill in my bones was smothered for
the time being, only to be replaced with exhaustion.

Sarah loudly repositioned herself on the couch as she
realized Harper was sitting beside her.

“You’re a fast reader,” Harper observed, looking at a
stack of books on the coffee table. A smirk formed on his face as he read the
titles…one love story after another.

“Yeah.” She smiled, but didn’t look away from her novel.

“Thanks for the great dinner by the way. I can’t remember
the last time I had ravioli.” Harper was trying to strike up a conversation
with Sarah, but she continued reading with a dismissive nod.

“It’s her sixth book this week,” I explained. “She gets
sucked in. It’s like she suddenly has a passion for reading or something.” I
looked at my friend, who was nestled against the arm of the couch. “What are
you reading this time?”

“Science-Fiction. Apocalyptic, ironically,” she clarified
absentmindedly. Her eyes focused on the end of a sentence, and then she turned
the page.

“So you’re a book lover.” Harper seemed interested, as if
he’d found some common ground. I wondered if he was attracted to her. It
wouldn’t be surprising—her brown eyes were glittering in the glow from the fire,
and her curly hair was a perfect tangle of seductive femininity.

“Book lover?” she practically snorted. “Not until
recently. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever read this much in my life.”

“Well, a lot’s happened in the last few weeks. We all
cope with things in different ways. Maybe your way is reading—escaping to a
world different from your own. Although apocalyptic stories seem to defeat the
purpose.” Harper smirked, looking over at me.

“And how is it you all find yourselves here, in our
seemingly abandoned neck of the woods?” I asked. We were seven miles from town
and at least a mile from any neighboring properties.

With a sigh, Harper took a sip of coffee and thought for
a moment. “We’ve been trying to stay away from heavily populated areas. It’s
safer that way…,” he trailed off. He stared into the flickering flames until
something clanging in the kitchen brought him out of his daydream. Glancing at
me, he asked, “What about you, Zoe? How are you doing with all this?”

“Oh, you mean between the end of the world, people I care
about dying, Crazies, animal attacks, Sammy dying, and my missing family?” I
was being dramatic, my tone borderline hysterical. I shrugged. “Oh, I don’t
know; I haven’t had much time to think about it,” I joked bitterly, curling
deeper into my spot on the couch.

“You and Dave haven’t been getting along very well,”
Sarah chimed in from the corner of the couch.

She chooses now to
say something? And what’s that have to do with anything anyways?

“What’s going on with you two?” Her eyebrows rose in
curiosity.

I wanted to reach over and wring her neck for providing
Harper the opportunity to ask me unwelcome questions, but I instinctively knew
she’d meant no harm. “It’s complicated. But I think it’s safe to say he’s
realizing we’re better as…friends.”
If that’s even what we are.

My eyes darted to my captive audience, hoping they’d be
satisfied with such a vague explanation. Sarah seemed unconcerned with my
answer, but Harper’s grin had grown wide and knowing.

“Sounds like a lot’s been going on lately,” Harper
observed. “Maybe you could use a distraction.”

His eyes fixed upon me like a predator’s on delectable
prey.
Is he referring to friendship or
sex? He couldn’t possibly mean sex…

Harper was hot, but it was ridiculous to think he’d
proposition me in front of other people. Rationality vanished as my eyes
inspected every inch of him, starting with his tanned skin and muscular
build—he definitely intrigued me. Harper was friendly and fun, a change I welcomed.
Unlike Sanchez and Biggs, whose noses were buried deep in their work, he was
personable, taking the time to get to know us. His amiable persona made it easy
to forget he was military trained and could probably kill someone with his bare
hands.
Not all military men are rough around the edges like Jason,
I
reminded myself.

“A distraction?” I asked, needing clarification before I
lost myself in thought.

“Yeah, a distraction.” His dark eyebrows danced over his
green eyes. There was no misinterpreting his meaning.
Sex. Definitely sex.

Biggs snorted as he sat at the kitchen table behind
Sarah, shaking his head. “You’ll have to excuse Harper. He isn’t always as
smooth as he thinks he is.”

“I’m not trying to be smooth. I’m being honest,
realistic, human…take your pick,” Harper retorted. “I put myself out there with
no expectations, no false pretenses. If she’s interested, fun times ahead, and
if not, that’s fine too. Life’s too short to pussyfoot around.”

Shocked by the confirmation that I
had
just been
solicited in front of the others, I looked back into the inquiring eyes of my
new, very forward friend. I cleared my throat, seriously considering his pitch
and trying to find the right words to respond. “Well, your um…
offer
is
very flattering. I’ll keep it in mind.”

Harper studied me for a moment, assessing my hesitation.
“You do that.” Winking again, he finished off the contents of his mug and
stood. “I think you and I will get along just fine, Baby Girl.”

With a thud, Biggs dropped his backpack onto the ground
beside me, and Sarah’s bright eyes glanced up at him. Eager to refocus
everyone’s attention, I quickly asked, “What about you Biggs? Do you like
reading as much as Sarah here?”

Indifferent to my smart ass tone, he said thoughtfully,
“I do, actually. But, I don’t get to read as much as I’d like, unfortunately.
Since this—” he searched for the word.

“Ending,” Sarah chimed in again.

“What?” Biggs looked at her curiously.

“The Ending. This is the ending of the world as we know
it. I mean, it’s literal I guess, but it makes sense.”

“Yeah, I guess it does. Well, since this ‘Ending’ I
haven’t had any free time to read.”

I gestured to the stack of novels on the table. “I’m sure
you can borrow one of Sarah’s books,” I suggested. “She won’t mind.”

Harper returned with his mug refilled. Again studying the
titles on the spines, he chuckled. “Yeah man, there are some romances in there.
You could probably learn a thing or two.” He looked from Sarah to Biggs and
shook his head when he noticed his friend gazing intently at the brown-haired
beauty.

“Sure you can. I’m not sure what you like to read, but
they aren’t
all
romances.” Sarah’s eyes flicked indignantly to Harper
before returning to Biggs. “You’re welcome to borrow any of them,” she offered.
As Biggs bent over to look through the pile, I sat back contentedly and
watched.

There was a sense of hope and excitement coursing through
the room as a silent conversation passed between the soldier and my friend. It
was a nice diversion.

“Anyway,” Harper said, reclaiming his spot on the couch
beside Sarah. “I took a look at Dave’s legs. He’s doing really well, Zoe. I
think you did a great job dressing his wounds.” He sighed, leaning forward to
rest his elbows on his knees.

I set down my tea. The palms of my hands were sweaty from
the warm mug. “I couldn’t have done it without Sarah’s help. That girl has a
way with gauze that I’ll never have.”

“Don’t let her fool you. I barely did anything. I throw
up at the sight of blood,” Sarah added, quickly looking back up to Biggs with
wide, horrified eyes. “I mean, not really
throw up
, but…”

“Well either way, you should be proud of yourselves. You
probably saved his legs.” Harper was serious as he leaned back and took a deep
breath. I could tell that under his playboy exterior he was a medic first, an
exhausted one.

“How’s he doing anyway? I mean, other than his legs.” I
felt foolish not asking Dave myself, but I knew it was pointless--he wouldn’t
forgive me for a while.
He’s always been egocentric,
I reminded myself.
I knew I’d have to tell him what was happening to me soon if I wanted to
salvage whatever remained of our friendship.

“He’s better now that I got the alcohol away from him.
He’s sleeping it off. So, we’ll see how he’s
really
doing tomorrow.”
Rubbing his hand over his short, dark hair, Harper stifled a yawn.

I glanced around the room and realized Sanchez and Biggs
were finally digging into plates piled with ravioli. Examining their tired
expressions, I asked, “When was the last time any of you got some rest?”

Shoving a fork full of pasta into his mouth, Biggs
muttered, “It’s been a while.”

Setting her book down, Sarah’s attention was on Biggs
again. “How long were you out there before you saw the smoke from our chimney?”

“About a day or so,” Biggs answered. “We’ve been trying
to stay out of the towns. The last time we ventured into one we lost members of
our team.” With his words, a black cloud seemed to settle over the room.

“We haven’t seen any uninfected for two days,” Sanchez
explained from the table.

“Uninfected? You mean ‘Crazies’?” I asked.

“Crazies, sick…anyone not normal,” Sanchez clarified
sharply. “We knew this might be our only chance to regroup.” Frowning, she
continued, “It’s hard to know what to expect, so we aren’t taking any
unnecessary chances.” Looking at her plate, she grumbled, “Not anymore.”

Abruptly, Sanchez stood and carried her empty dish to the
sink to submerge it in water; she took her time before joining Harper, Sarah,
and me by the fire. “Up until a couple days ago, there were nine of us. We lost
our commanding officer to a group of looters.”

“There were just so many of them,” Biggs interjected,
still seated at the kitchen table.

“I don’t know if they were infected,” Sanchez continued,
“but they were definitely insane. They ambushed us and tried to steal
everything we had. We were able to fight them off long enough to regroup.”
Peering up into Harper’s solemn eyes, she sighed. “It’s hard to know what to
expect. Everything’s different now.”

Sanchez looked back at me. “We thought we’d killed them
all, but then another wave of them showed up. Our CO and two others were
killed, and we lost two soldiers to the Virus before that. There hasn’t been a
lot of time for resting,” she said flatly.

“As you can imagine, there aren’t many warm places to
stop in an area like this. We hoped the occupants of this cabin were dead, no
offense. We weren’t sure what we’d find inside when we saw the blood on the
porch,” she admitted. “Is that a body wrapped up out there?”

Sarah’s high, defensive tone startled me. “It’s Sammy.
The weather’s been too bad. We haven’t been able to bury him.”

“Sammy was Dave’s dog,” I explained.

“It’s not like
we’re
crazy or anything.” Sarah
looked over at Biggs, who was just finishing up his dinner.