Against the Tide (35 page)

“And …”

“Well, a few things actually. Good and bad.” I don’t miss the worry that flashes across her eyes when Finn tells her there’s bad news to go along with the good.

“So tell me the bad first, the good will then help to cheer me up.”

“Um, Harley won’t be coming to see you for a while.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Something went on at his place last night, a break in or something and he got beaten up pretty badly.” Her hand flies to her mouth as she sucks in a sharp breath, her eyes instantly fill with tears. “He’s okay, don’t worry, he’ll be okay. He’s just looking a little bit worse for wear at the moment.” I appreciate how Finn plays it down for his mum. From what he told me, Harley is in pretty bad shape.

“Oh, god. What happened, Finn? Were you there?”

“No, no. I was with Meg.” He smiles down at me, and I feel a pang of guilt for being with him when something went on, again. I know it’s not my fault. It’s not his fault either. But it doesn’t help the guilt go away.

“Okay, good. Well, I’m thankful you weren’t hurt too. Did they catch whoever did it?”

“Not yet,” Finn answers, not giving her all the information. “But I’m pretty certain they will.”

“God, that’s awful. Do his parents know?”

“I’m not sure. I managed to get a hold of Loretta. She’s actually with him at the moment. Their parents are in Malta for a couple weeks. I’m not sure when they’re back, but I’m sure Loretta has spoken with them.”

“You tell him that I want to see him as soon as he’s better, okay? And if I’m better before him, I’ll be going up there to see him myself.”

“I’ll tell him, Mum.” Finn lets go of my shoulder to step forward and take his mum’s hand. “He’ll be fine, Mum. It’s just superficial, I promise.” She nods and Finn passes her a tissue which she takes gratefully.

“Ugh, well, I hope your good news is great because your bad news was bloody horrible,” she says, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Finn looks at me and grins. His grin not only stretches to his cheeks, it reaches his eyes and makes them sparkle.

“I ... uh, we …” He looks between me and his mum, not really knowing what to say or how to say it, and Kath looks at us perplexed. “Oh, here,” he mumbles, not being able to find the right words. Instead he passes her the scan pictures and she reaches out and takes them with a frown.

“What is this?” she asks before looking at them. Then she glances down and immediately sucks in her bottom lip to keep it from quivering. “Oh, you’re not? Are you? Are you making me a … Grandma?” Her voice trembles and she can hardly get the words out. My own eyes fill with tears just watching her look of wonder as she realises that we are in fact, making her a Grandma.

“Yes,” Finn nods, fighting back his own tears. “You’re going to be a Grandma.” It’s bittersweet. I see the close bond Finn and his mum have, and I already know that we will get on like a house on fire, and that she would love to be called Grandma and run around after her little grandchild. But seeing her in that hospital bed, so frail, so sick, reminds me that she might not even get to see this baby. She holds out her arms to him and he goes to her, gathering her carefully and closely to him, all of us now crying tears of happiness. “I’m so happy for you,” she murmurs into his shoulder. “So happy.”

I don’t have a tissue so I wipe the tears from my cheeks with the palms of my hands. I love that she’s so happy about it. I was worried that she would hate me, or hate the fact that we’ve never met, yet here we are, announcing that we’re having a baby. She seems to trust Finn’s judgement and trusts him to know what’s good for him. I feel a stab of regret. I hate that I don’t speak with my mum. I’d love to have a bond with her like Finn has with his mum, but our relationship is in the past now.

“Well …” Kath says, taking a deep breath as Finn steps back from her and coming right back to my side. “How long do we have to wait to see this little one?” she asks me.

“I’m only about six weeks along so far, so there’s a little way.”

“Uh huh.” She clears her throat. “I’m not sure what Finn’s told you, but I don’t have forever.” I nod, not being able to form words to answer her. What would I say? I don’t know how to talk about something as sad as this. “And it’s hasn’t been easy lately, but you can bet your arse I’m going to hang on as long as I can to try and see my grandchild.”

“I’ll keep you up to date with everything. You can keep the pictures if you want.” I offer, knowing that I would love to sit and look at them all day, but when all is said and done, I’m going to have a lifetime to love this little baby and she might not even get to see it.

“No, this is the only picture you have, am I right?”

“Yes, but−”

“No, you keep it.” She passes the scan picture back to me and when I glance at the little grainy shadow it makes my heart swell with love but my eyes swim with tears. It’s possible that this baby will grow up never knowing any of its grandparents. Finn hasn’t told me anything about his dad, which I assume will come with time, but I guess he’s not an important enough figure to have in his life, in our lives. What about my parents? I miss them, terribly. But I burned my bridges when I chose Damien over them and I don’t think there’s a way back.

“I’ll make you a copy. And we get another scan in about six weeks, so maybe … if you’re well enough, you could come too?” I ask, although a lot could happen in six weeks, but I wanted to make the offer anyway. I know this is one of the most precarious times of the pregnancy, and I don’t actually know how long Kath has. But it gives her something to look forward to, and me too if I’m honest.

“Megan, that’s such a kind offer, but I wouldn’t intrude on such a personal experience.”

“Oh, no. It’s not … I mean, it’s fine. I’d like you there. I’m sure Finn would like you there.” Suddenly I feel stupid, making plans for six weeks’ time when we said we will take things slowly. I’m already inviting his mum along without even mentioning it to him first, and I don’t even know him well enough yet to know if he would like that. “That’s if it’s okay with … Well, we can decide later, can’t we? It’s not important now.” I run my hand through my hair and try and diffuse the focus from me. Finn glances between his mum and I with a smirk and a roll of his eyes, totally playful in nature, but I look into my lap, hoping they will change the conversation now that I look like a blithering idiot.

“Meg,” he says with a hint of humour in his voice and I look up at him. His eyes tell me to relax and he brushes the hair back from my face before bending to kiss me in the middle of my forehead. We share a moment, a lingering look, something that tells me that it’s all okay, and seemingly satisfied with my reaction he straightens and walks over to the window.

“So, what are you going to do about Jezebel?” Kath asks, and I sit back in the chair, assessing his reaction.
Who the hell is Jezebel?

“What do you mean? I don’t see how this affects her.” He doesn’t seem bothered with me being here for this conversation, but it’s clear that they are talking about a female and my claws are starting to lengthen.

“Darling, you can’t take a new baby on the back of a bike, in fact I wouldn’t be happy with Megan riding on the back of her either.”

“A bike?” I choke out a laugh. “Jezebel is a bike? Like a motorbike?”

“He hasn’t told you about Jezebel? She’s the only woman he’s ever been interested in, until now of course.” I love that she can mess with him for fun, and that she includes me too. It’s easy, comforting.

“Is that so?” I arch a brow at Finn, and he rolls his eyes at me.

“Jezebel is beautiful. She’s honest, she does as she’s told, and she never gives me any arguments. Perfect woman.” The humour plays in his smile and Kath grins at me.

“So, when do I get to meet this other woman in your life?”

“Well, I obviously need to tell her about you, and she will want to look her best, so after I’ve been to the garage and made sure she’s polished and pretty.”

“Okay,” I giggle. “Will you take me out on her one day?”

“One day, in about eight months or so, maybe.”

“So Finn, are you staying at home or at Harley’s, because I’m not sure I’m happy about you being there alone after what happened last night. What if they come back?”

“Oh, I don’t think they would come back, Mum.” He sucks in a breath through his teeth and the worry returns in the creases around his eyes. “I’m staying at your place anyway, don’t like the thought of it standing empty while you’re here. I said Harley’s sister, Loretta, could come and stay there, too, if she wants. I don’t know how long she will be here for but she can’t sleep in a hospital chair.”

“Yes, I’d be happy for her to stay there. And Meg, where do you live?”

“I live with my friend, Jamie, on the way out to the Marina.”

“So, you’re not on your own, either. Good.” She lays back on her pillow, satisfied that we are all safe and accounted for. Her eyes look so heavy, and it was clearly an emotional overload for the last half an hour.

“You’re tired, Mum. We’re going to go, and let you sleep.” Finn walks over to her bedside and takes her hand.

She clasps it tightly. “Oh, no. You can stay,” she protests, trying to lift her head from the pillow, but it’s clear that it takes all her strength.
“It’s okay, Mum. You rest. We’ll come back later when we visit Harley. Won’t we, Meg?”

“Sure.” I stand from the chair and come to the side of the bed, taking her other hand. She squeezes me as she did Finn, and I already feel like I know her. She’s so warm, so heartbreakingly lovely.

“Thank you, Meg,” she says, turning her head my way. Her eyes glisten, and it’s clear to see that the thought of leaving this earth, her son, and now her grandchild, is killing her almost as fast as the tumour. “Thank you for giving me a reason to fight harder.”

“You’re welcome,” I whisper.

“Okay, I’ll be back later.” Finn kisses her gently on the cheek and she smiles lovingly at him. “Love you, millions.”

“Love you millions too, Finn. Thanks for bringing Meg to see me.”

“No problem. I have a feeling she’s gonna be around a whole lot more, too.”

“Well, it will make a nice change for me to have a girl around the place.”

Finn comes back around to my side of the bed and puts his hand securely around my waist. “Ready?” he asks.

“Yep.”

“See you later, Mum.”

“Bye, Kath.” I smile and she gives a small wave as we leave.

“My mum likes you,” I say as we walk out of the hospice and into the sun.

“She doesn’t really know me yet, she might not like me.”

“How do you figure that? I
really
like you so I know it won’t be long before she loves you.”

“Oh yeah? You really like me? That’s lucky considering we’re having a baby.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” I muse quietly. I never really thought about having a family before and I guess it’s just kinda landed on me. I supposed I would settle down, one day, get married then have a baby with the person I was in love with and vowed to spend the rest of our lives together. Huh, never really thought I was so traditional, but I guess I am. Life had other plans for me and Meg though, and while I know I am falling for her hard, and fast. I’m not in love with her, yet. I have been struck with a fiercely protective feeling over her and my baby, but I can’t confuse that for love. I want to love her and I have no doubt that it will come in time, maybe sooner rather than later, but we hardly know each other. Is this how she feels? Should I ask her?

“Meg?”

“Yeah,” she answers chirpily, swinging our joined hands.

“Uh, nothing.” Dammit. I’m not great at feelings and talking. I’m good at distance and denial. But I want it to be different with her. It is different with her.

“No … go on, what were you going to say?” She stops next to me, and I stop too.

“Do you think we should get married? I mean, I’m not sure how you feel about this situation and me and I−”

“Married?” she squeaks.

“Yeah, I mean, as a little girl did you always dream that you would find Prince Charming, get married and then have babies?”

“Maybe, once, I suppose.”

“You don’t believe in happily ever after now?”

She shrugs and her brows knit together pensively. “I don’t really know. I guess I just take things as they come. It hasn’t exactly been a street party so far in my adult life. Why, do you want to get married?”

“Not particularly, but I would if it made you happy.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, I would.” I frown to myself. I would get married if it would make her happy. I would do anything if it made her happy.

“Well, that’s very kind, but I don’t want to get married just yet, so you can let go of that deep breath you just held before you turn blue.” She nudges my arm with her shoulder. “Look, Finn. Let’s just do things at our own pace, yeah? No rules, no expectations. It’s doesn’t concern anyone else. Let’s just do what we want, and what’s right for our little baby.” She rubs her belly gently, and I realise she’s right. I don’t need to follow tradition or expectations, we just need to do whatever makes us happy. “So where are we going now?”

“Do you have to work today?”