Alexandr's Cherished Submissive (37 page)

He tsked then tipped her head up. “Do not be ashamed. I gave you permission, and I am your Master, so that is all you need.”

Her eyebrows drew up. “Arrogant, much?”

“
Prinsessa moya
, I own you.” He touched her collar, and she instantly smiled.

“Yes, you do.”

She became aware of everyone watching them and flushed, pressing into Alex and trying to ignore what she was pretty sure was jealousy in Maks’ eyes. Yeah, she’d need to talk to Alex about Maks’ more-than-friends feelings. Playing with other people who knew the rules was one thing, starting something emotional with someone that could never go anywhere was entirely different. Maks had feelings for her, all wrapped up in his guilt over her getting hurt.

They were good friends, and she had shared things about her life with him that she didn’t tell most people. He loved hearing about her family and had even enjoyed it when she showed him her family’s photo albums. He’d studied the pictures like an anthropologist looking at an ancient culture, his attention totally on her when she’d go off on tangents about the people in the pictures, sometimes getting one of his rare laughs.

Damn, she liked to make him smile.

Was she leading him on?

Her worried gaze met Alex’s, and he frowned when she declared, “I need to talk to you.”

“Of course.”

He led her farther into the house until they came to a solarium with a huge lounge sofa long enough to fit ten people lying side by side. There was also a couch and a small bar set up among the plants, but the majority of the space was taken up by the carefully cultivated vegetation and the profusion of orchids scenting the air. Alex stopped in the middle of the room then turned to face her, looking like some kind of kinky, dashing eighteenth century lord in his Victorian conservatory. He held his hand out and she slipped hers into it, a sense of peace settling over her.

Holding her gaze, he pulled her down onto the lounger. “Relax.”

With swift movements, he began to remove his gloves, but she stopped him. “Leave those on.”

Wickedness filled his expression. “You like?”

“I love. You have such big hands, and your gloves make them seem even bigger. It’s totally pornographic. Those pants make you look bigger as well. You look so good in those it should be illegal.”

He laughed and shook his head then quickly removed his jacket and shirt, leaving him in only his knee high boots, tight pants, and black leather gloves. She shivered with delight. This was the body built to please her beyond all others. Perfect from his broad shoulders to his muscled calves, the dark fur on his chest accenting how masculine he was. She held her arms out to him, and he gathered her against him, allowing her to press herself as close to him as physically possible.

“Now, what is wrong? Did you not enjoy yourself?”

“No, I did. I…” She debated how to put this in the most non-confrontational way possible. The last thing she wanted was for Maks to lose his job. He took great care of her, and before her almost kidnapping, they’d had a good friendship. “I think Maks has feelings for me way beyond friendship.”

“I know.” Alex sounded unperturbed.

“Uh-Alex, I think he might think he really, really cares for me.”

“Is good.”

Totally thrown off by his reaction, her brow scrunched. “What?”

He sighed, smoothing her hair back with his gloved hand. “Devotion will keep you alive. I will let you in on secret. If man cares for you, he will do anything to keep you safe. Is way of the world. I am selfish man and want Maks to care deeply for you because he is your main bodyguard. Just like Nico cares deeply about you because Catrin loves you. An army that loves their ruler will keep them alive.”

“Army?” Her eyes widened. “Wait, Catrin loves me?”

“Not the same as she loves Nico, but yes. There are many kinds of love,
dorogoya
. You do not understand the…impact you have on the lives of those you know.”

“Like Maks,” she muttered. “Alex, I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I will never feel for him the way I feel about you.”

“I know. Believe me when I say he understands that I will never allow another man to try and take what is mine. With Maks, circumstances are different, special. Hard to explain in English. He has this…what is word…habit…no is not right. His lost first love died of cancer at seventeen, and he has need to reconnect with a woman he cares about if she is hurt.”

“You mean he fucks every woman he likes if they get a paper cut?”

“What? No, no.” His lips thinned in obvious frustration. “Once he feels like he has reconnect with you, he will calm, go back to friend you know. He will still want to fuck you, because you are magnificent, but he will not want to take you from me.”

“That…Alex, that’s crazy.”

Shrugging, Alex gave her a hard look. “It is way of my world. Try not to judge him so harshly. Maks has been through much, has not had easy life and must deal with it however he can. He likes you, Jessica, and it would hurt to have you withdraw your friendship because of his way of dealing with his grief. I hope you never understand what it is like to suffer loss like that.”

To her surprise, she was now drowning in guilt, guilt that she was uncomfortable with the fact that Maks liked her, guilt that she was so self-centered that she never considered he might have reasons of his own for the way he reacted. Why was nothing in her life simple anymore? She always felt like she was on a rollercoaster with Alex, never sure what would happen next or how his words would change her view of a situation. Either he was a master manipulator or she had a lot to learn. Probably a mixture of both.

“I’m not trying to be mean to him. I just don’t want it to upset what we have, Alex. I mean…if I knew a girl liked you the way he likes me, I would never want her near you.” She chewed on her lip, the thought having awakened her jealousy. “I wouldn’t like that at all, and I can’t help but worry that you’ll resent me for not being as free as you are with my playing with other people. I mean, you asked about my pleasure, but I don’t want to know if you touched any of those women when I wasn’t around.”

“I kiss—”

“No, seriously, I don’t want to know. It makes me jealous and uncomfortable.”

The tension grew between them as he blew out a frustrated breath, and she braced herself for the coming blow. This was it. He was going to realize they wouldn’t work out in the long-term. This was when he would break her heart. Looking away from him, she tried to keep her composure.

“Jessica.” He gently placed his fingers beneath her chin, turning her to look at him. “If I only have you for the rest of my life, I will be blessed.”

She wanted to believe him, she really did, but her insecurity had manifested, and she hated how crazy it made her. It didn’t used to be this bad, this fear of someone breaking up with her or going away, but since her parents’ deaths, anyone she loved leaving her life made her profoundly sad. Yeah, at some point she was going to have to talk to a therapist, but right now, she battled with the desperate need to cling to Alex, even though she realized that was not a good idea. They needed to have this conversation, and this might not be the ideal time for it, but she had to let him know her concerns.

She looked him in the eye. “You say that now, but Alex, you’ve basically lived the swinger lifestyle for years. It’s what you like. I understand that. I like it, too, but I’m selfish, and while I think the idea of sharing you in certain ways, with only the women I approve of, is arousing, the idea of you touching another woman while I’m not there makes me furious.”

He shook his head, his expression bemused. “What I love is to watch you explore your world, to grow, to experience new pleasures that you would deny yourself if I was not in your life. It is gratification better than anything I have ever experienced. It feeds my body and soul. What arouses me is not having sex with different people—it is you. This emotion you call forth so easily from me is something I have longed for but never found—until you became mine. I love
you
and only you.”

Her ire faded beneath the strength and conviction in his voice.

“I love you, too.”

“I know.” He winked, lightening the mood enough for her to draw a deep, calming breath. “For you, I am ultimate voyeur, eager to watch you give yourself to others so I may see your passion, because when you are done with them, you will always return to me. I know this—is not question in my mind or heart— and allows me to share you without anger with those that I choose.”

She tensed against him, and as usual, he read her emotions easily and sighed, his dark gaze scanning her face.

“Alex…”

“You doubt me, and nothing I say will change that, only time. Is okay, I am patient man. You will see that I am telling the truth
, that you are…what is American saying…you are it for me and I am it for you. I am both your Master and your most humble servant.”

That made her giggle, and she liked the way his lips immediately curved up in response. “Servant? You? Whatever. You’re so bossy you’d tell me when to brush my teeth and go to bed if you thought you could get away with it.”

His tight expression faded, and he softened against her, his gaze warming as he studied her face. “Do I not already do that? I bring you to bed, fuck you, send you to clean up. Then when you come back, I usually give you another orgasm with my mouth, and maybe fuck you again in the middle of the night.”

“You always fuck me again in the middle of the night.”

His arrogant, satisfied grin made her heart skip a beat. “This is true.”

Eased by his love and efforts to reassure her, she sighed. “I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass. Really, I’m not sexually repressed in the least. I’m just…well, I feel guilty that I don’t feel ashamed about what I did tonight, only excited. It’s like I’m punishing myself for not feeling bad. If I was a good girl, I’d be appalled at some of the things I have done, that I’ve fantasized about.”

“Jessica, listen to me. You have no reason to feel shame, at all. You are magnificent in your pleasure. I will tell you when I do not like something. Rest assured, and you are silly for giving yourself guilt when none is needed.”

“I can’t help it!” She blew out a frustrated breath. “It’s like I’ve been brainwashed to feel ashamed for enjoying sex that’s taboo for most people. Like I’m a bad person and you’ll leave me.”

“Jessica, I will never leave you. Feel inside your heart, and you will know truth.” He placed gentle kisses on her face. “I believe I understand your problem, is not uncommon with women, especially submissives. Maybe you need to feel punished, need sting of redemption, to give self permission to enjoy.”

Her brows flew up. “Uh...what?”

“I am going to have Maks punish you tonight. If you feel sorry for him after he is done spanking you, I give you permission to make him feel better, however you choose.”

Her lower belly tensed in a not unpleasant way. “Wait, why am I being punished?”

His gaze darkened, and her nipples tingled against his chest. “Because I wish it to happen.”

Alex watched Krom sigh, his big body putty in Jessica’s hands. And feet. She was currently walking on the other man’s bare back, giggling as she rocked her feet back and forth. One of her good friends had studied how to walk on someone’s back in Japan and taught her how to do it. Now she was cracking Krom’s spine, and the man groaned each time like he was having a really good orgasm, which only made Jessica giggle harder and almost lose her balance.

“Did you just purr?” she asked him with amusement bright in her voice.

Krom merely grunted, his eyes closed and his face harsh even in relaxation.

Alex held out his hand, and she grasped it with a happy smile. As soon as she found out she wouldn’t have to do anything sexual with Krom, she volunteered to walk on his back. Now Alex was wondering why she hadn’t offered to do this for him yet. It looked good, because he got to watch her petite breasts shake as she moved, and he got a flash of her pussy when she widened her stance. She still wore her dress, but all the ribbons were gone now, and her stiff nipples pressed against the thin cloth.

Krom had been after her from the start, and he tracked her down just on principal. Then, with Alex’s blessings, he’d told the other men where to find her. While Alex snatched ribbons from Melanie and Catrin, he’d left Ivan’s girl alone because his woman did not know her. There was no need to push Jessica. He was letting her set the pace, permitting his sweet girl to stretch her wings within the safety of his protection and with his friends. Watching her begin to embrace her sexuality was rewarding on levels he’d never even imagined, making him wonder how he ever thought he could live without her. He was connected with her in a way he’d never imagined, their bond going beyond flesh and blood to a soul-deep level.

She was his heart, his reason for living, and his love for her seemed to grow by the day. Every night he went to bed thinking he couldn’t possibly feel any stronger about her. Then he’d wake the next morning, and the moment he saw her his love would deepen, as would his determination to own every moment of her pleasure. His friends were his allies in seducing her, in working Jessica up to the point she stopped fighting the gratification and gave in. Once she embraced her need, she became glorious in her raw, honest lust.

Like she was right now after his friends had worked her up for him.

He was rewarded for his sharing by now having a very aroused Jessica practically squirming with need. Her pupils were huge, and she trembled beneath his touch. One of his favorite kinks was delayed gratification…then multiple orgasms. So far, Jessica had not complained about the play they’d done in private. In fact, she begged him for it. She’d embraced his lifestyle with open arms, and he gloried in this beautiful woman who gave herself so freely to him, trusted him to make the right decisions for her. At least that’s what he hoped.

Krom grunted and looked at the door of the conservatory. Alex followed his friend’s gaze to see Nico coming in with Catrin stalking forward from his side. The soft pink scrap of silk she was wearing had been torn open to reveal her breasts, which jiggled with her every step. An unusual dominance had entered Catrin’s normally sweet expression, and it was all aimed at his blushing little Jessica, who was staring at Catrin with complete submission turning her expression dreamy with lust.