Alexxxa (16 page)

“Yeah, I was so small in high school, which was bad enough, but when I shot up like a weed, I was… awkward.”

I pushed my food aside and crawled over to straddle him. “There’s nothing small or awkward about you now.” As evidenced by the very large length of pulsing flesh under me.

“I thought you were sore.” David’s hands slid up to cup my breasts.

“I am. Or I was. But I thought you said you were utterly spent for the evening too.” I ground against him. “That doesn’t feel like you’re done. Unless you popped a
Viagra
when I wasn’t looking.”

“It’s you,” he grated when I ground against him again. “I’m like a friggin’ thirteen year old kid around you.”

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” I raised myself up and positioned him so he was at my entrance. “I think I can manage another round, what do you say?” He answered by pulling me down on him. “I’ll take that as a yes,” I rasped against his lips just before I plunged my tongue into his mouth.

~David

Alexa was sprawled across my chest, her long blonde hair a knotted mess that I was trying to detangle with my fingers. We were both relaxed…utterly so…but not quite ready for sleep yet. I supposed we were both afraid that if we went to sleep again, we would wake and our perfect dream-like state might shatter as well. So we lay in each other’s arms, playing the ‘getting to know’ you better game.

“Why has it been so long since you’ve visited Pittsburgh? It wasn’t because of him was it?” We both knew I meant Devlin, and yet after everything we’d just shared I hesitated to spoil our time together by saying his name out loud.

“No, it wasn’t because of Devlin.” Alexa didn’t have the same issue about mentioning his name, apparently. But that was one of the things that I loved about her—she was always brutally honest, and didn’t walk on eggshells for anyone. Except for maybe her Aunt Suzy, she was a special case entirely for Alexa. She ran her fingertips along my arm, tracing the outline of my tattoos. “I wanted to focus on my career, but beyond that—it was just too painful.”

“If not him…then what?”

“I had this friend, Joey, he was a bar back at
Erotic Exotica
when I danced there. He was dating one of the other dancers. But that’s not the point. He was one of those people who you instantly click with. He became one of my best friends and I loved him like a brother. Those were my party days, so Joey and I used to stay up on occasion doing lines all night, just talking about life.” She paused, lost in her thoughts. “We were always there for each other. When I had problems with Devlin, he was there for me, and I was one of the only ones who visited him in the psych ward when he was committed for attempted suicide. He was the only male close to me back then that I didn’t try to fuck.” She grew quiet and curled more tightly into me.

“So then what happened?”

“I’ve already told you that I cleaned up my act when I moved to L.A. Joey claimed he was going to get his shit together, come out to see me, maybe even move there.” She sniffled. “The last time I talked to him he was high on heroine. Heroine. Why would he even try that shit?” She resumed making slow circles on my arm. “Well, I never heard from him again and I don’t know if he’s alive or dead. But it just wasn’t him. It was pretty much the same with so many people here in Pittsburgh. So many of my friends were falling apart and I couldn’t do anything to help them. And it was like they kind of started hating me for getting out. I got out and they rotted here. I didn’t want to face them.”

“You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped.”

“Yeah, I know. I don’t want to talk about it anymore though. Let’s talk about what you plan to do about your little movie.”

Shit
. I couldn’t believe I’d actually almost forgotten about my documentary. I wouldn’t be able to use Alexa as my star any more if she was really going to give up porn. Unless I’d misunderstood her? She’d never made any actual promises to me. “What have you decided about your career?” I sucked in a big breath and held it.

She turned away from me and fidgeted. “I don’t know.”

I exhaled, my heart pounding out of my chest. Had I allowed my hopes to get up for nothing? Now that I knew what I’d be missing, could I really end things with Alexa before they got started? Or maybe that’d been her plan all along… To get me hooked and then to tell me that she wasn’t making any career changes after all. “I’m such a fucking idiot,” I muttered as I pulled myself from bed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just what I said—I’m such a fucking idiot. I can’t believe I actually believed that there was something real between us. That maybe we could be together“—I tugged at my hair—“that you’d give up porn for me.”

“Maybe I will. I just don’t know yet.”

I laughed darkly. “Please don’t lie to me, Alexa. Don’t string me along with false hope. And even if you mean well—if you think you’re telling me the truth—What happens in the mean time? You just going to continue on doing group scenes and fucking other people while you decide?” I started to pace. “How would you feel if I had sex with other women while we were supposed to be in a relationship?”

“I never said anything about a relationship! At least not yet! I just—I don’t know!” Alexa yelled, anguish and anger intermingled.

“Fuuuck!” I roared, toppling a desk chair over in frustration. “I can’t fucking do this! I just can’t! You need to leave, now!”

Alexa came to stand in front of me. She peered up at me with tears in her eyes, but despite that sight I almost couldn’t stand to look at her. “David—I,” She bit her lower lip and flicked her gaze away from me.

I grabbed her roughly by the sides of her face and forced her to meet my gaze. “Did you mean anything you said? Do you care about me even a little? Or was it all a lie to get you what you wanted?”

Her lower lip trembled. “I do care about you. I just don’t know if it’s enough to give everything up—to risk everything.”

“David! Hey, David!” Josh’s voice wafted through the hotel door accompanied by him pounding to get my attention.

“We’ll finish this discussion later,” I seethed. I quickly pulled on some pants and tossed one of my t-shirts for Alexa to wear. Josh may have seen her naked on film, but I had absolutely no desire to watch him ogling her right in front of me.

I swung the door open and Josh started waving his phone in my face. “Holy shit! Have you seen this? I can’t believe you fucked her…” His voice trailed off as his eyes landed on Alexa who had come to stand beside me.

I snatched Josh’s phone from him. “Have I seen what?” I pressed play to watch the
Youtube
video that was on the screen. It took me a second to process what I was seeing. Someone had uploaded a video of Alexa and I having sex in the car from yesterday. You could quite clearly see me pounding into her from behind and then there was a clear shot of my face when we were finished. I scanned the information below the video.
Shit
. Over a million views already and they knew who I was. I’d just made a sex tape with Alexa… a shitty one… but it was one all the same. Just then my phone started ringing and I handed Josh’s cell to Alexa before running across the room to grab it. “Hello?”

“David?” My mother’s voice wavered with anxiety. “Why? How could you do this to your family?”

I already knew that someone had told her about the video, but for some reason I couldn’t not try to act stupid on the subject. “Mom? What are you—“

“Don’t try and play stupid about this, David Tomas Jonez!” My mother cried into the phone so loudly I had to pull it away from my ear. “You had sex, on video, with a porn star! I hope you didn’t catch anything! Oh God—“ She started to sob. “My son is going to die of AIDS.”

I closed my eyes and tugged at my hair. I didn’t want to deal with my overly emotional, and obviously porn-star-hating mother, at the moment. “Mom, I’m not going to die of AIDS.”

“What were you thinking? And how could you let someone film that? I thought I’d raised you better!”

I turned my head to see Alexa watching me, an inscrutable expression on her face. “Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you later.” I didn’t wait for her response before I hung up. I then silenced my phone.

“I just made up my mind,” Alexa stated, no emotion in her eyes. “I’m not giving up porn, and we’re not going to be together.” She whirled around and headed for the door, her leather bag in tow.

“Alexa—wait!”

Josh grabbed my arm before I could leave the room. “Let her go. We have more important things to deal with.”

“I need to go after her. I need—“

“Let her cool off first. You can talk to her after we get everything else sorted out.”

I knew Josh was right. It always seemed like a good idea to let Alexa cool off about things before talking to her. “Okay,” I said, shutting the door behind me.

~Alexa

I might have overreacted just a bit, but when I heard part of the conversation between David, and I was guessing his mom, I knew she’d never accept me. And that would be okay, I supposed, if David and I had this rock solid relationship to fight for, but that wasn’t the case at all. My chest ached with the knowledge that the beautiful time we’d spent together would be nothing but a distant memory soon—David would be a distant memory soon. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do about the documentary, but I’d figure something out.

When I got back to my hotel room I checked my phone and found several text messages from Tara. Apparently she wanted me to call her—
that bitch
. I decided I was going to pretend like I didn’t know anything about her and Devlin, that way I could possibly glean information from her. I called her back and she answered on the first ring.

“Oh my God, Alexa! Have you seen the video of you and David, it went viral!”

I chuckled, trying to keep my emotions under check. “Yeah, I saw it. Is that why you called?”
I know it’s not to tell me that you’re doing shady shit with Devlin behind my back.

“Yeah, that and to see what was going on with you and David. We haven’t really gotten a chance to catch up.”

I bit my tongue to keep from saying that the reason for that was probably because when I did call her she screened those calls since she was with Devlin. And why the hell had they been in Station Square anyways? I thought Tara knew what hotel I was staying at; it was like daring me to catch them. “I know, things have been a little crazy.”

“Do you have time to meet up now?” she asked with her normal cheer.

But now that I knew about her and Devlin the cheer seemed fake—she seemed fake. I wasn’t even sure I trusted her enough to meet with her.
Talk about paranoid
. What did I think was going to happen? “Yeah, sure. But how about you come here, to my hotel. I’m not really feeling like being social at the moment.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Just give me the deets.”

It took Tara only about thirty minutes before she arrived at my room. Everything about her now seemed different to me. Was she taking mental notes for Devlin? Did they talk about me and laugh? Or was I just being completely egocentric? I couldn’t seem to help myself though.