Alice Brown's Lessons in the Curious Art of Dating (25 page)

John gave a little laugh. ‘Guilty as charged. Look, Geraldine, I’m afraid there’s no easy way to say this . . .’

‘. . . but . . . ?’ Geraldine helped him along.

‘. . . but I’d like to talk to you about a particular client,’ John said carefully, ‘and how I don’t want to take any more bookings from her.’

‘Riiiiiight. So I’m presuming the client in question is a certain lady businesswoman?’

John gave a rueful smile.

‘A certain lady businesswoman with red hair and her very own dating agency?’

Despite everything, John couldn’t help but chuckle.

‘And an epic-sized crush and an inability to take “no” for an answer?’

‘I wouldn’t put it quite like that!’

Geraldine sighed. ‘Well, I can’t say it’s not going to be a bit awkward, but I can’t say I blame you either. Actually, you’ve been quite a saint to stick her out as long as you have. She’d have sent lesser men running to the hills years ago!’

‘Look, I’m really sorry if this puts you in a difficult position. She’s been a client for years and, at the end of the day, you’re the one who’s going to have to tell her. But I can’t escort her any more. I just can’t do it.’

Geraldine topped up his glass in a gesture of solidarity.

‘Fair enough. Did something happen at the ball last night?’ she asked lightly.

‘No. Yes. No, not really. I’ve just reached my limit with her, that’s all.’ An image of Alice trying to hide her tears at the taxi rank flashed back into his mind, followed by Audrey’s pursed lips as Sheryl won the prize.

‘OK,’ said Geraldine pensively as she sipped her wine. ‘Look, you don’t need to explain why you don’t want to escort Audrey Cracknell any more. She’s a funny old stick and she will insist on wearing her heart on her sleeve. It must have been hard to come up with diplomatic ways to sidestep her advances for the last ten years.’

John gave a small smile.

‘Losing Audrey’s business doesn’t concern me,’ she continued kindly. ‘But what does concern me is potentially losing you. If you’re just cheesed off with Audrey Cracknell, then fine. Let’s write off our losses and move on. But if it’s bigger than that, then I’m worried. So tell me: is there anything else I should know about?’

John looked at Geraldine, taking in her kind expression, her friendly face and her comfortably battered office. They’d been friends for years. She knew everything there was to know about him, and she’d been looking after his bookings ever since he’d started out in the business eleven long years ago. They’d been through thick and thin together. But could he tell her about the doubts he’d been having recently? About the thoughts that had crept into his mind on quiet Sunday mornings? He wasn’t sure.

‘No,’ he replied firmly. ‘It’s just Audrey. I’ve done all I can for her. I can’t give her what she wants. I used to think she understood, but recently I’m not so sure.’

Geraldine gave a small nod.

‘Then it’s definitely time.’ She sat back. ‘Of course, I’ll offer her someone else in your place, but I’m sure she’ll tell me where I can stick him!’

They both contemplated their glasses. Outside the window John could hear the stressful sounds of the Friday evening rush hour. He felt a weight leave his shoulders.

‘Are you going to tell her soon?’ he asked. ‘Or are you going to wait until she next phones with a booking?’

Geraldine sighed. Her shoulders slumped.

‘That, my darling, is the question. Sooner is probably better, but cowardice is such an inviting option.’ And she finished her glass and gave him a wink.

It was half past eleven, and the woes of the ball and the trials of the day were now nicely numbed and suitably far away. The restorative powers of an evening of food, wine and good company had worked wonders. Baby Scarlet was finally sleeping peacefully upstairs, and Dan was snoring in his armchair, his beer bottle still nestled upright in his lap.

Silently Ginny beckoned Alice into the kitchen.

‘Let’s leave him in peace,’ she said quietly and reached into the fridge for another bottle of wine. ‘Top-up?’

Ginny poured the wine.

‘So, now that it’s just the two of us you can tell me about this John guy,’ she said with a mischievous grin.

Alice felt her cheeks pinken.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Oh, come on!’ Ginny laughed quietly so as not to wake Dan. ‘You can’t fool me. You like him!’

‘Like him?’ Alice echoed in surprise, aware that Ginny was watching her like a hawk. She could feel the colour in her cheeks deepening. ‘He’s my boss’s husband!’

Ginny raised an eyebrow.

‘Well, of course I like him,’ Alice admitted. ‘He stuck up for me and then came out to the taxi rank to check I was OK. He’s obviously a
likable
person.’ Now didn’t seem like the right time to tell Ginny how startlingly handsome he was, or how taken aback she’d been that he was younger than Audrey – at least five years younger, maybe even ten.

Ginny grinned knowingly.

‘But he’s a married man,’ Alice insisted chastely. ‘I don’t like him
like him
, if that’s what you’re getting at.’

‘Oh?’

‘No!’ Alice had to turn away; Ginny was unnerving her. ‘Besides,’ she added indignantly, ‘I’m not the kind of woman who fancies other women’s husbands.’

‘Even if that woman’s Audrey Cracknell and it’s debatable whether she actually qualifies as a woman at all?’

‘
Especially
if that woman’s Audrey Cracknell! She’s scary enough as it is, without anyone having designs on her husband.
And
she’s my boss, for goodness sake. It would be career suicide.’

Alice thought about it rationally for a moment.

‘Besides, it would be a totally implausible match,’ she reasoned. ‘Audrey and I are complete opposites, so whatever a man loves about her he wouldn’t find in me. We’re very different.’

‘Are you?’ Ginny asked mischievously.

‘God, yes! Audrey and I have nothing in common. Nothing at all!’

‘Except John.’

‘Gin! Stop stirring! What a thing to say! And I thought I was supposed to be the one with the overactive imagination!’

‘So, you’re going to give Audrey back his handkerchief, then?’

‘Um, well. It’s complicated.’

‘My point exactly!’ Ginny grinned and topped up her wine glass. ‘Oh, I’ll be honest with you; I’m just jealous.’

‘Jealous?’ Alice put down her glass in surprise.

‘Going to a ball, having a handsome man spring to your defence and then chase after you to check you’re OK – it sounds exciting to me. More exciting than anything that happens in my life.’

‘There’s nothing exciting about being a laughing stock and sneaking home early in tears.’

‘Yes, but all that stuff he said about you – about you having a good heart and how some man was going to be lucky to meet you. That’s romantic.’

Alice looked at her friend. Ginny was beginning to look wistful.

‘You’ve got romance in your life. You live with it every day. Dan’s fantastic.’

‘Is he?’ Ginny asked.

The conversation suddenly felt darker.

‘What do you mean? Dan’s wonderful. My clients would give their eye teeth for a man like him.’

‘Hmmmm.’ Ginny picked up her glass and looked at it sceptically.

‘What do you mean? You’ve lost me.’

‘Of course I’ve lost you,’ Ginny said with a sudden harshness. ‘You think the sun shines out of Dan’s arse! You think he’s a perfect husband and a perfect dad!’

Alice recoiled in shock.

‘Yes. Yes, I do. Dan’s a good man. And you love him.’

There was a long pause. Alice began to feel a rising sense of panic. Ginny was staring at the table. Alice’s statement hung heavily between them.

‘Gin, you love him!’ Alice repeated a bit more forcefully.

‘Do I?’

‘Yes!’

‘Do I really?’

This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all.

‘Ginny, what’s wrong?’ Alice asked softly. She immediately started berating herself. She should have known something was up. Ginny hadn’t seemed very happy recently. And right now she looked miserable.

‘You’re probably just having a bad patch, that’s all,’ Alice said gently when her friend didn’t answer. ‘You need to talk things through with him.’

‘Is that what I’ve got to do?’ Ginny looked strange. ‘No disrespect, Alice, but you’ve got no idea. You think your perfect man is just around the corner: a knight on a white charger. You think it’s a fairy tale: that you meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. Well, life’s not like that. Fairy tales don’t exist, or they don’t exist for very long. All the Prince Charmings turn into ball-scratching, beer-drinking, telly-watching slobs in the end.’

Alice felt numb with shock. Dan wasn’t those things. He was lovely!

‘Be careful what you wish for, Alice,’ Ginny warned darkly. ‘You might get to kiss the frog and discover he’s nothing more than just that: a frog.’

‘Dan’s not a frog,’ Alice said quietly, feeling dazed by Ginny’s outburst. What on earth was going on?

‘No. No, he’s not,’ Ginny said wearily, the fight suddenly gone out of her. She sighed. ‘You’re right. It’s probably just a bad patch. I’m tired; I think it’s time I went to bed.’

Alice nodded dumbly and gave her friend a hug.

‘I’m here if you need me,’ she said as she squeezed her tight.

Ginny nodded, gave a watery smile and headed towards the stairs.

Alice let herself out. Deeply troubled, she picked up her bike and pedalled hard in the direction of home.

‘On Friday night, babe, it’s going to be just you and me,’ Tony had said. ‘Suze thinks I’m out of town on business, but I’m going to pack my bag, shoot down here and wait for you in the office. You’re going to bring me a beer and I’m going to watch you on the monitor, and check out your juicy little ass shaking its way round the bar putting smiles on everyone’s face. I’ll be stiff as a board watching you bend over to pick the Stellas off the bottom shelf of the fridge, your skirt pulling tight and your tits jiggling in your shirt. I might even have a wank whilst I’m waiting. And then, when the shift’s over, we’ll send the staff home early – fuck the clearing up – and I’m going to whisk you off in my BMW to a penthouse at the White Hotel where I’m going to slowly strip off your clothes, carry you to the hot tub and massage you all over with hot soapy suds. And then I’m going to take you over to the king-sized bed, throw you down and fuck you harder than you’ve ever been fucked in your life!’