All At Sea (16 page)

I won’t have sex with Lachie anymore. I can think of a hundred ways to get out of having sex with Lachie. Women have been getting out of sex since the dawn of time. I know how to beat off a caveman.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 8.44pm

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

WAIT! NO! That’s not what I meant! I meant I know how to put a guy off. I won’t even kiss him anymore.  I’ll just tell him I have gas station sushi poisoning. Hawaaiian luau pig-flu or something.  You never answered me on how it would work after I break it off with him. Will we continue to sneak around until I leave? Are you at Sasha’s right now? How is she? Is there a party or is it just you guys?

Wednesday 2
nd
April 8.47pm

—Black Blossum Productions—

Sasha’s not here. She’s in LA. I’m in this big ole jungle house all by myself.

Wanna come over?

Wednesday 2
nd
April 11.02pm

—Black Blossum Productions—

Even though I was sure you weren’t going to turn up, I lay in my hammock and imagined what I would say if you did. If I could find the right thing to say. I do love it when you get all fired up, but not so fired up that you do stuff that gets me fired up.

Then I thought back through all the things you said that made me mad. I was getting really grumpy so instead I imagined you were there, in the hallway, looking at the painting. You’re wearing that long, slinky, pool-sharking dress that makes you look all womanly.

No underwear I would discover, as it pools around your feet.

You’d be all naked. Right there! With not a scrap of cloth on you. For months I have been trying not to look, because when you catch me, you put your arm across your body as if you don’t like it, so I always look away.

But right now, in my mind, you’re not covering a thing, and I can see the whole lot. You’re beckoning to me, and smiling. I know you’ll get more confident and brave and curious. And funny! Unexpectedly funny. Then serious and then powerful and fearless, but still vulnerable and sweet. And delicious.

It would be dawn when we’d finally sleep and I would be so bone weary and aching from it.

Thursday 3
rd
April 1.02am

—Black Blossum Productions—

But you didn’t come.

You wanted me to say that I wanted you.

I want you.

Just you, Millsy. You are perfection.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 2.03am

—Black Blossum Productions—

I’m so in love with you, Millsy. I want you so bad it hurts me.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 2.04am

—Black Blossum Productions—

I said the L word.

Kind of slipped out.

Unsend, unsend, unsend.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 10.00am

—Black Blossum Productions—

Anyway, I meant it.

Are you ever going to come to see me? I can stay here for a few more days.

Empty house.

Many, many flat surfaces. Sending my imagination into overdrive

Wednesday 2
nd
April 12.42pm

—North Shore Hostel—

I’m back. Sasha is away in LA lining up a whole lot of work. There are a couple of series she’s going to be producing – at least a lot of the location stuff. She’s made it clear she’s been happy with what I do for her (because I do what I’m told LOL), and there will be a lot more jobs I can expect for the next year or so, if I want it, and who knows what after that? Her business is growing.

The thing with Fi paralysed me for a long time. It was like I was treading water here, just getting through each month, but not prospering, or building on anything. Her dad was right about that. It has been painful but also really good for me. I think being stuck in a moment can be a good thing. Better than endlessly running away, if that makes sense.

Sorry. Thinking out aloud. Is it boring?

Wednesday 2
nd
April 1.15pm

—North Shore Hostel—

I’m going down the beach in a little while. Are you looking for Lachie? He’s at the gym.

(You’re not with him, Yay! I couldn’t work my way up to asking him if you were with him last night.)

Have you met the gym buddies yet? Bunch of wankers. They’re the ones that put him on those stupid diets all the time so he can get more cut.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 4.35pm

—Rub-a-dub Pub Coin Laundry & Liquor—

So I was thinking, there is a guy I know, he works for a couple of the big hotels here making ice sculptures.

I know you like art, and he’s kind of an artist – well an artisan. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that done before. I called him before and he’s got a couple of projects on the go and I said we might like to go by there after and have a few quiet brews and watch him work. He studied fine arts at the Royal College. You would like him.

Also he is pig ugly. I’m not introducing you to any handsome dudes any more.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 4.39pm

—Get Nailed! Mani-Pedi—

You never answered the question on how it will work between us when I tell Lachie. Or how it will work between us when I leave Hawaii. But yes. I want to go to the ice-sculpture thingy-doo. I’ve never seen that before.

Wednesday 2
nd
April 4.40pm

—Rub-a-dub Pub Coin Laundry & Liquor—

Tomorrow night then, like seven? I’ll pick you up. Can I meet your mother and Captain Spam?

Wednesday 2
nd
April 5.34pm

—The Fuzzy Peach Waxing Studio—

Pick me up at the boat you mean, right? My step-dad is going out for a business dinner so he won’t be there. Hawaiians love some Spam. (They are the biggest consumer in the U.S.!) They have a satellite office here. It’s like a working vacation for Paul, this trip.

I guess I’ll prepare Delilah Rose for your arrival, then?  (She goes by Lilah...)

Slip 23A.

What should I wear?

Wednesday 2
nd
April 4.46pm

—Rub-a-dub Pub Coin Laundry & Liquor

You look beautiful in anything. Maybe the sundress you wore to Kahuku? (No bra! Maybe? For me? *boggles*)

Thursday 3
rd
April 1.03am

—Blue Volcano Tavern—

Thank you for another amazing night! I was very sad to take you home. The action in the car was hot though. Too brief. Not enough. I want it alllll.

Please?

Olaf would be horrified. Actually he’d be delighted.

Fck he’s a funny prick. He said the craziest thing a minute ago – something about how when Lachie finally beds you and gets paid. As if you are soooo rich you buy hot Aussies jigaloes, or however you spell it. I said bro have you seen Millsy? She doesn’t have to pay anyone! and we all laughed our arses off.

It was good to meet your mum though. I think I made a good impression. She seemed umm, agreeable? Trying to describe your mother in a word. You didn’t warn me. I was imagining someone more …matronly.

Thursday 3
rd
April 10.03am

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

I was going to let this one go. Pick my battles or whatever. But I’m sorry, matronly? Really? Sometimes I don’t think you listen to a word I say. Scroll back, I distinctly remember saying the words second wife, high-heels and gold digger. (Not that she’s a gold digger because she’s not.)

She’s kind of amazing looking, I know. A real MILF. Not sure if that’s a term you use in Australia. Google it. (But don’t click on anything or it will probably take you to porn sites.)

Having Ian make her an ice rose to bring back was a nice final touch to the evening. So thoughtful of you commissioning that little gift for Lilah right there on the spot. You are charming indeed. So smooth with the babes, K.

Thursday 3
rd
April 10.07am

—near North Shore, Oahu—

Yep. I know what it means.

But seriously, when you said ‘gold digger’, I pictured Ivana Trump, or Anna Nicole. But your old lady is nothing like that. She’s got a natural grace and softness. Like a dancer. She’s got a whole Pocahontas thing going on.

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.10am

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Yes, she’s amazing looking. We covered that. You like that look? The exotic cougar? (Sasha, ahem...) It’s a nice switch up from the ubiquitous blond and skinny waif, I bet. Keeps things visually interesting for you. No, really...should I be worried about bringing you around my mom?

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.11am

—near North Shore, Oahu—

I would have thought you wanted me to like her!

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.15am

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

I have to go. I am on the deck and forgot my sunscreen. The palest fish on the beach has pinked up and freckled. I didn’t get mummy’s bronzed pigmenting gene, apparently.

You can pick me up at the gate from now on. Or I’ll meet you. (If we go out again, I mean....) I don’t want you getting distracted with visions of Pocahontas.

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.17am

—near North Shore, Oahu—

I’m a man. I’m going to notice a good looking woman, but that’s a very different thing to doing something about it. What do you think I’m going to do? Duck into the pantry cupboard and give her some Kody uncut?

Can I say this is really rich coming from someone who has done many of the most intimate things with my best friend.

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.18am

Which I haven’t brought up. I’m not bringing it up now

I’ve told you I believe in keeping an argument about the one thing that the argument is about.

Your mother is smokin’. So are you. You’re the one I want. Only you. OK?

I will never mention it again.

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.20am

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Annnnd there it is. There. It. Is.

The hot mom thing need not be mentioned again because it’s already out there, hovering. Just like, as you have made sure to point out, me having done “intimate things” with Lachie. You could have backspaced out of that comment but you didn’t. This is how it would go until the end of time, see? (or however long you and I last....) You would always win the arguments. You would always hold that ace.

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.24am

—near North Shore, Oahu—

You know what, Millsy? I reserve the right to look. I’m always going to look. You can’t stop me from looking. There will be attractive women in the future. I’m going to put my hands on some of them too. It’s part of the job.

You’ve seen me be faithful.

That’s not enough for you?

It’s your
mother
! Your
married
mother! Really??

You haven’t slept with Lachie. Stop pretending you have. He’s not going to lie to me about it. He would be so proud. And besides, he’s getting paid, remember? Haha!

Can we talk about something else now??

Thursday 3
rd
April 11.29am

—Waikiki Yacht Club—

Yes, let’s talk about something else. What are your plans for later? I’m going for a bike ride with Lachie. Well, more like I’m going to bike ride and he’s going to run alongside. And then I’ll tucker out at some point and sit on the handlebars catching the breeze.