All He Ever Needed (18 page)

For a second he thought old Bob was going to have a stroke right there on the side of the road, and wouldn’t
that
be a hell of a story to add to the Kowalski legacy in Whitford?

Durgin’s face burned. “If you’d been my kids, you’d have all learned some manners and respect, but no, Sarah had to go and choose that jerk Kowalski and have a whole freakin’ herd of pains in my ass.”

It took a few seconds for the cop’s words to make sense to him, and then it took all his composure to keep his mouth from hanging open. Bob Durgin hated them all because he’d wanted to marry their mother?

Mitch wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Durgin’s face turned an even brighter shade of red. “Forget it. Slow down or you’ll spend the night in a cell.”

He was back in the cruiser and down the road before Mitch even had the sense to shove his wallet back into his pocket. That was unexpected. As he fired up the bike and pulled out onto the road at a much more reasonable pace, he couldn’t help shaking his head. Whitford was one seriously messed-up place.

When he got back to the lodge, he found Josh in the great room with all the papers for the proposed ATV connector trail spread out on the coffee table. Mitch noticed right off that his brother was in a good mood and that the can on the end of the table was a soda and not a beer.

“Did you know Bob Durgin wanted to marry Mom and he’s still pissed off she chose Dad?”

Josh looked at him as if he’d lost his mind, then shook his head. “No, but it explains a lot. How’d you find that out?”

“He yelled it at me on the side of the road before he got embarrassed and left without giving me a ticket.” Mitch went into the kitchen for a soda, then joined Josh on the couch. “You trying to figure something out or you just looking at it?”

“Mostly I’m just looking at it.” Josh slid the papers around, then leaned back against the sofa. “I should have kept fighting for this after Dad said it couldn’t be done.”

“A lot of people don’t fight for something they don’t want.”

“It’s not that I don’t want the lodge. I mean, I do and I don’t. It’s home, you know. And what about Rosie? She’s devoted her entire life to this house and to us and we’re going to what…throw her out to be homeless and unemployed when she should be relaxing and enjoying herself?”

“Nobody’s going to throw Rosie out. If the new owners don’t want to keep her on, or she doesn’t like them, then we’ll find her a place and make sure she’s taken care of. And it’s home for all of us, too, so it would be hard to see it go, but you get to have a life, too.”

Josh cleared his throat before taking a long drink of soda, and Mitch realized his brother was actually choked up. “Josh, nobody’s going to hold this against you.”

“I keep thinking I could give it a couple more years. If this ATV plan works, we could more than double the lodge’s income and then we could hire somebody to manage the place, leaving me free to do whatever. But I’ve told myself to give it a couple more years before, and the years keep passing by and here I still am.”

“Do you know what you want to do?”

Josh laughed. “That’s the worst part. I don’t even know. I just want to get away from here and do…something. Anything.”

“Give us a little time to figure it out and we’ll make sure you get to go do something.”

They were quiet a few minutes, then Josh jabbed him with an elbow. “No Paige tonight?”

“She canceled on me. Said something came up.”

“Probably had to wash her hair.”

“You’re a funny guy.” He might even have laughed if not for remembering the odd note in her voice when she’d left the message.

Something had been bothering her. Maybe he should have called her to make sure everything was okay. It could be her mom. Or maybe it was just a problem at the diner. She hadn’t said it was an emergency.

“When are you going to admit she’s different?”

Mitch glared at his brother as if he could make him take that back by sheer mental force. “Mind your own business.”

“Somebody needs to get involved or you’re going to blow it.”

“Blow
what
? Like I’ve told you several times, we’re just having a little fun. She’s no different than…” He couldn’t finish it. He wanted to, but he couldn’t force himself to say Paige was no different than any other woman he’d had a little fun with. “Shit.”

To his credit, Josh didn’t jump on him for the admission by omission. He just sipped his soda and let Mitch come to terms with the fact he cared about a woman. A lot.

“We want different things out of life,” Mitch said, clinging to the one good reason he had for not giving in to his feelings.

“So, what, you’re just going to leave?”

“Am I just supposed to stay? Walk away from Northern Star Demolition and all the people I employ so I can hang out in Whitford and sleep in her damn twin bed? That company means everything to me.”

“She has a twin bed?”

“Way to focus on the important stuff.”

“What are you going to do?”

The only thing he could do. “I’m going to enjoy the time I have left with Paige and then I’m going to go back to living my life and she’ll stay here and live hers.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Says the schmuck who can’t see what’s right in front of him.”

Josh scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I’ve got to go muck through my email inbox.”

He ended up mucking through his own head more than his inbox, but he couldn’t reach any other conclusion than the one he’d shared with Josh—he had to go and she had to stay.

At least, unlike Drew and Mallory, they’d started out on the same page so he had nobody to blame but himself.

Chapter Eighteen

She definitely needed more potato chips. Staring down at her shopping basket, Paige did a mental count and, sure enough, she had more chocolate than she did salty and crunchy. There had to be a handful of chips for every chocolate.

Maybe she should shake it up with some corn chips. They were
very
salty and would balance out her comfort-food ratio nicely. She grabbed a bag and headed for the register, where she unloaded her bounty onto the counter.

“Oh, hell,” Fran said, shaking her head. “I had such high hopes for that boy this time.”

Paige had to bite back a bad word. She knew she should have gone down to the city and hit a big grocery store. “That boy has to go back to work next week. Just stocking up to fill the hot-sex void so I don’t go on a murderous crime spree.”

“Honey, I know heartbreak countermeasures when I see them.”

“I think I caught it in time.” Paige was impressed she’d managed to say it as if she believed it. “I’ll probably end up throwing half of this away.”

“Bring it to the next movie night. There’s always at least one woman wanting to drown her sorrows in chocolate with a salty, crunchy chaser.”

After shoving her comfort foods into her reusable totes, Paige bid Fran goodbye and took her time walking home. She’d already been to the library, where she’d loaded up on books and magazines she hoped would be interesting enough to keep her mind off Mitch.

When she reached her trailer, she realized she probably should have waited until he was gone to start mourning his being gone. Mitch was sitting on her front step, leaning back against her door with his hands dangling between his knees. Her heart stuttered at the sight of him, but she strengthened her resolve. She wasn’t going to escape with her heart in one piece, but she could keep her dignity intact.

“I tried calling, but it went straight to voice mail,” he told her.

“I had to call a vendor today and I made the mistake of using my cell phone to keep the diner’s line free. My phone’s on the charger right now.”

“I was thinking maybe we could take the bike and ride down to the city and get a nice dinner somewhere.”

It sounded perfect. “I can’t. I have too much work to catch up on.”

He pushed himself to his feet and moved closer to her. “You were busy last night. You’re busy tonight. Are you blowing me off, Paige Sullivan?”

“Of course not. It’s just that I’ve let too much work pile up and I’ve lost a lot of sleep and if I don’t stop and catch up, everything’s going to go to hell in a hurry.”

She wished he wouldn’t look her right in the eye like that. Acting wasn’t one of her finer skills, and she was afraid whatever he might see on her face wouldn’t match the nonchalant tone she was going for.

“I miss you.” He moved even closer, so she took a step back and that made him cock his head. “What’s going on, Paige?”

And now came the hard part. She took a breath, then plastered a smile on her face. “Nothing. We had a good time, but it’s interfering with stuff I have to get done, so it’s time we move on.”

“That’s it? It’s been fun and it’s time to move on?”

“Isn’t that how you do it? This is all there is and you won’t call or text? I’m pretty sure it was all in the Mitch Kowalski pre-sex spiel.”

His jaw tightened and then he gave a hard shake of his head. “This isn’t like you at all. Why do you sound so angry?”

So she wouldn’t dissolve into a blubbering mess in front of him. “You should spend what little time you have left in Whitford with your family. I’ll probably see you around…someday.”

She was almost to her door when Mitch caught her arm and spun her around. “Talk to me, goddammit. Tell me what’s wrong.”

The emotional dam broke and tears built up, spilling onto her cheeks. “What’s wrong is that I realized you’re leaving soon and that’s going to hurt. I know it was supposed to be ‘all the fun stuff, with none of the not-fun stuff,’ but I blew it, okay? I’m knee-deep in the not-fun stuff, and it’s time for you to do your trademark smile and wave as you ride off into the sunset before I get any deeper.”

For once, Mitch didn’t seem to have a charming comeback to offer. He was so silent and still, she wasn’t even sure he was still breathing until he sucked in a sharp breath and looked down at the ground.

“Just walk away, Mitch. It’s what you do. I knew it before and I’m counting on you to do it now.”

“We need to talk about this. You need—”

“What I
need
is to run my business and take care of my house and myself.”

“And I was the temporary luxury.”

“That’s all you wanted to be.” She waited for him to say something—anything—that would tell her his feelings for her had changed, but he stared over her shoulder with his jaw clenched and his hands shoved in his pockets. “Good luck with the lodge.”

She went inside and this time he didn’t try to stop her. Standing there waiting, it seemed like minutes passed before she heard the bike start and then the engine roar as he pulled onto the main street and pounded it through the gears.

Sliding down the door until her butt hit the floor, Paige put her head on her knees and let the tears come.

It was the right thing to do. She’d made a promise to herself and she couldn’t break it, even for Mitch, because giving up the diner and her stupid little trailer and the friends she’d made would make her unhappy and eventually she’d hate both him and herself for it.

She’d done the right thing. She just wished it didn’t have to hurt so much.

* * *

Rose watched Andy through the kitchen window. He was cutting lumber for something, using a makeshift workbench made of plywood spanning a couple of sawhorses. The guys had so many projects going on around the lodge, she couldn’t keep track anymore.

She’d been thinking about him a lot since Katie’s visit. She didn’t like to think she’d been punishing Andy so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge that deep down there would always be a little corner of her heart that would remain broken. She and Earle had a good marriage until the day he died and she’d loved him, but she could never totally forget what he’d done. Rather than risk the good life they had together and with Katie, she’d channeled that lack of forgiveness toward Andy. And it wasn’t fair.

Before she could change her mind, Rose turned off the water she’d been running for dishes and dried her hands. Then she straightened her spine and walked out into the backyard.

He looked surprised to see her, but he didn’t say anything as she approached. Just set the saw down and pulled off his gloves.

She stopped a few feet in front of him. “I accept your apology.”

It looked as though he was going to smile, but thought better of it. “Thank you.”

“That’s all.” She turned to walk away.

“Are you sure?” He said it quietly, but she stopped and faced him again. “I don’t think that’s all and, if you’re going to accept my apology, I’d rather you get it all out so we can move on.”

“What if he hadn’t told me?” she asked, even though she hadn’t gone outside with the intention of doing anything but accepting his apology. “Would you have come into my house? Eaten my suppers? Would you have been able to look me in the eye?”

“I was young and stupid, Rose. I know that’s not an excuse and I’m not proud of it but, no, if Earle hadn’t told you, I wouldn’t have, either.”

“You disrespected me. You disrespected Katie. Hell, you disrespected Earle by putting him in that position in the first place. And I know you didn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to do, but if you’d both just eaten your dinner and gone back to the motel, my husband wouldn’t have broken his wedding vows.”

“I know that. That’s why I let my friendship with him fall by the wayside, even though that hurt. You two were trying to save your marriage and me being around would have made it harder. I didn’t want you fighting about me on top of everything else.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him if that made him feel like some kind of noble hero, but she swallowed the bitterness. He was right. If she was going to accept his apology, she needed to let go of the anger and face the truth she’d been trying to deny for decades. “Blaming you made it easier to forgive my husband.”

This time he
did
smile, but it was a sad one. “Like I said, I was young and stupid but I did, after a few years, figure that much out.”

“And you never told anybody. I appreciate that.”

“I saw how hard you and Earle fought for your marriage. Having the whole town weighing in on the matter wasn’t going to help.”

He’d been a good friend to Earle, even after she drove them apart. And that’s why he wouldn’t have told her what happened if Earle hadn’t—not to be disrespectful to her, but to help his friend keep his family. She’d punished Andy by robbing him of one of his best friends just for being a stand-up guy. “I’ll be cooking dinner tonight. You’re welcome to stay.”

“Thank you, Rose.”

She went back inside and finished filling the sink to wash the breakfast dishes. Her hands were shaking a little, so she did the silverware before the glasses to calm herself. Even though the conversation had been hard on her nerves, she had to admit she felt better after setting down the decades’ worth of bitterness she’d been carrying.

Mitch walked into the kitchen, yanked open the refrigerator and pulled out the pitcher of lemonade. After slamming a glass on the counter so hard she was surprised it didn’t break, he filled it and then replaced the pitcher, slamming the fridge closed.

He’d been like that for two days now and she’d had just about enough. “You pull the door off that fridge, all the food will go bad.”

“What do you care? It’s not like you’re going to cook it, anyway.”

There was a line, and the tone crossed it. “Just who the hell do you think you’re talking to, Mitchell Kowalski?”

The fight went out of him and his shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry, Rosie. That was rude and really uncalled for.”

“What happened with Paige?” When he shrugged, she pointed to a chair and he sat. “Tell me.”

“She said it’s been fun and it’s time to move on. That’s all.”

That wasn’t all. Any idiot could see that. “Isn’t that the way you like to do things?”

“Yeah, it is. But…I guess I wasn’t expecting it quite yet.”

“So if she’d broken it off next week, you wouldn’t be like this?” If he was willing to talk, she was willing to listen, but she was going to keep him honest.

“She cried. She said it wasn’t just fun for her anymore and she wanted me to walk away before she got in any deeper, but I couldn’t. I just stood there, so she walked away from me.”

“Why do either of you have to walk away?”

He blew out a breath, shoving a hand through his hair. “We don’t want the same things in life, Rosie. Look what happened to Drew and Mallory.”

“So you both compromise.”

“Being here for six weeks, you all see the guy I am
here
. It’s like being on vacation, but I’m not this guy when I’m not here. I’m focused on my work and I travel constantly and I live out of suitcases. And I
like
it. One of us would have to give up too much and things would go downhill from here. The truth is, we have two totally different lives that just happened to intersect for a few weeks.”

“If you want her enough, you’ll find a way to make it work.”

Mitch stared at the table for a long time, then slowly shook his head in a way that broke Rosie’s heart. “Trying to make it work and failing would just hurt her more. It’s better if I do what she asked and walk away now before we get any deeper.”

“Honey, love isn’t like rappelling into a cave, where you can control your descent and how deep you go. It’s just falling into the hole.”

“Well, right now it’s probably a shallow hole, so we’ll both get out a little skinned up but with nothing broken.”

Nothing but their hearts, Rosie thought as Mitch got up and went out the back door. She’d known him all but the first few years of his life and, whether he wanted to admit it or not, the hole he’d fallen into wasn’t as shallow as he thought.

* * *

It was the big day. Mitch tossed Josh’s crutches in the back of the truck and they headed to the clinic to get his cast off.

“You’re still going to have to take it easy for a while,” Mitch said once they were checked in and hanging out in the waiting room.

“Which I know because you’ve reminded me of that a dozen times. And I’m pretty sure Rosie’s cross-stitching it on a pillow for me right this very minute.”

“Now that we have a plan for the lodge, I don’t want you to overdo it trying to get everything done. Ryan’s going to be coming up for a while next month, so leave the heavy lifting to him and most of the other stuff to Andy.”

Josh gave him a lazy salute. “Yes, sir.”

“Smart-ass.”

A woman with a clipboard poked her head into the waiting room. “Josh? We’re ready for you now.”

Once the nurse led Josh away, Mitch leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. If all went well back there, he’d be free to leave. He could go back to his apartment, pack his suitcases and head to wherever Northern Star Demolition took him.

Chicago, probably. It was a big job and he’d feel better if he checked on Scott’s prep work, without looking as if he was checking up on him. Then he’d head to Philadelphia to finalize the contracts to drop some old tenement buildings and then head to Miami for a while. He had excellent people working for him, but his fingers itched to hold the reins again.

He wasn’t worried about things having gone to hell while he was gone. He was worried about the possibility—no, the probability—that once he was back, his fingers would itch to hold Paige again. He’d never worried about that before. A kiss goodbye and a smile and that was that.

He was going to miss Paige. He knew it already and he was trying like hell not to think about it. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw her tears. He heard her coming
so
close to telling him she loved him, and he lay awake at night wondering if she had said those words, whether he would have thrown everything else away for the chance to hear her say them every day for the rest of his life.