All He Ever Needed (19 page)

In the harsh light of day, though, he remembered the responsibilities and the people who worked for him and the satisfaction of being damn good at what he did. And he could picture Paige in her diner or in her trailer, not only happy with her life, but proud of the fact she’d done it all herself. And he knew it was time to walk away.

Everything went smoothly with the doctor, and Mitch spent the next couple of days getting ready to go. He boxed up everything but the necessities that fit in the bike’s saddlebags and shipped the boxes back to his apartment. He spent a lot of time talking to Josh, with Ryan on speakerphone, about how they’d proceed with the lodge. They’d decided Josh would talk to Sean and Liz about the possibility of selling and then they’d see how Rosie felt about it.

Though he was still supposed to use the crutches as much as possible, Josh was back on his feet, emotionally and mentally as much as physically, and much too soon Mitch found himself sitting on the porch with his cell phone in his hand.

He dialed Paige’s number, trying not to hold his breath as he waited to hear her voice for the first time in days. It was a good thing he didn’t, because all he got was the bland, stock voice telling him he could leave a message.

Maybe he should go into town. Try to see her one more time before he left and tell her…nothing. There was nothing he could say to make this any better. The phone beeped, ready to take his message.

“Hi, it’s Mitch. I’m leaving today and…I know I said I wouldn’t call or text, but it doesn’t feel right to not at least say goodbye, so…” He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. That he
could
say, without making everything so much harder.

I wish I could find a way to make this work.

I’ll miss you.

I think I might be in love with you.

“So, anyway…goodbye, Paige.” He hit the end button and jerked his arm back to hurl the phone across the yard before common sense kicked in and he tucked it back in his pocket.

It was over. Nothing left to do but say goodbye to Josh and Rosie, then hit the road. He’d already stopped in at the police station to say goodbye to Drew, who was burying himself in work to take his mind off the end of his marriage.

“Stay off the ladders,” he told Josh when he and Rose came out to see him off.

“You worry about blowing shit up. Leave everything else to me.” They hugged, Mitch slapping Josh’s back and thankful to have his youngest brother back.

Then it was Rosie’s turn. As expected, she was weepy and didn’t want to let him go. “Don’t be gone three years this time.”

“I won’t.” Though he’d end up like Ryan, sticking close to the lodge and avoiding town because the memories sucked.

He let her fuss over him for a few more minutes, then he straddled the bike and fired the engine. They stood and waved as he went down the drive and he beeped the horn before he left the Northern Star Lodge behind him and headed into the heart of Whitford.

Mitch let the Harley roll to a stop at the intersection, then stood there, balancing the machine between his legs. Straight ahead lay the open road and New York City. Northern Star Demolition. Suitcases waiting to be packed for the next job.

To the left was the municipal parking lot, which was small, but plenty big enough for him to turn the bike around and point it back in the direction of the diner.

He could convince Paige to leave Whitford with him. She cared about him—maybe even loved him—and if he told her he wanted her to be a part of his life, she might leave the diner and her little trailer behind. But it would be
his
life they’d be living from then on.

Just make sure you both want the same thing in life, because it hurts like hell when you find out years into it that you don’t
. The words Drew had said to him his first morning back in town echoed through his mind.

To Mitch, what Paige had was a job and a place to sleep. But to Paige, the diner and her trailer—and Whitford itself—were a dream she’d put her heart and soul into making come true.

A car Mitch hadn’t heard pull up behind him honked and he got the motorcycle rolling. Straight through the intersection and out of town.

Chapter Nineteen

There
were
worse things than people speculating on whether or not you were sleeping with a much-beloved hometown boy. The pitying glances were worse. The whispering behind hands was worse. The occasional pat on the hand. The often repeated refrain of
it’s his loss
. In the week since he’d left, she’d had to put up with it everywhere she went, even—or especially—at work.

Mitch Kowalski had broken Paige Sullivan’s heart and all of Whitford knew it.

Or thought they knew it, she fumed as she walked down the street with her library tote. Her heart wasn’t broken. Badly dented maybe, but not broken. For goodness’ sake, they were all acting like he’d jilted her at the altar.

Unfortunately, it was a hot and humid day and the tote was heavy since she’d gotten more books than usual—mostly thrillers and
no
romances—so she detoured into the park to rest for a few minutes. Of course, as soon as her butt met the bench she was hit by the memory of the day Mitch had sat down next to her and she’d thought he might kiss her.

So maybe her heart had a few cracks to go with the dents. And it certainly hadn’t helped when Josh and Andy showed up for breakfast that morning. With the blue eyes and the voice that was so similar to his brother’s, she found it painful to wait on Josh and, to make it worse, she could tell he realized that possibility too late. She’d put on her best smile, though, because she didn’t want Josh to feel awkward about eating at the diner. Or Ryan, who’d be spending some time in Whitford in the near future.

She’d been sitting there about five minutes, trying not to think about Mitch, when her cell phone rang. When she saw her mother’s name come up on the screen, she almost didn’t answer it. She really didn’t have the energy today. But it had been a while since they’d talked, so she answered it. “Hello.”

“You’ll never guess where I’m calling you from!”

Some kind of mental and/or emotional rehab center? “Where?”

“Costa Rica! Steven and I arrived this morning and it was such a whirlwind trip I didn’t have time to call you until now.”

“Who is Steven?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you?” Donna’s nervous laugh sounded tinny over the phone. “Corey was starting to be neglectful—I think I told you about that—and I met Steven at a benefit dinner—dance and he said I was the most stunning woman in the room. Two weeks later, he asked me to come to Costa Rica with him. Oh, Paige honey, I think he’s the one.”

Of course he was. The one after the guy before him and the one before the guy who’d come after him. “That’s wonderful. I hope he is.”

There was a long pause and she wondered if her mother had set the phone down and then forgotten she was talking to her daughter. Sadly, it wouldn’t be the first time. “You sound a little funny, sweetheart. Is everything okay?”

The rare moment of awareness was almost Paige’s undoing. For a moment she imagined having a mother like everybody else seemed to—one who put her daughter’s feelings above everything else and would do anything to soothe away her hurts. “It turned out
my
guy wasn’t the one.”

“Oh, good lord, I didn’t even know you had a guy! Well, it’s his loss, honey. You need to put on some makeup and a nice dress and go find yourself another one, and the sooner the better.”

There was the Donna she knew and loved. “Yeah, I’ll keep an eye out for one.”

The subject turned back to Steven, the accountant, and his gorgeous house in Costa Rica and Paige said a quick, silent prayer her mother’s newest relationship wouldn’t end with a subpoena. Donna sure knew how to pick them.

A few minutes later she was able to end the call with a relieved sigh, and she picked up her tote and walked the rest of the way back to her trailer. Hailey was picking her up in an hour and they were going to drive down to the city and see a movie. As long as they could find something that didn’t end with a mushy, smooching couple living happily ever after, Paige didn’t care what they saw. She just needed the distraction.

When Hailey finally showed up, she tilted her head and frowned at Paige. “It looks like you brushed your hair, but a little mascara and lip gloss wouldn’t hurt.”

“I’ve already gotten the ‘Look pretty and everything will be okay’ advice today.”

“Donna call?”

Paige rolled her eyes. “She’s in a Costa Rica with a new guy. He’s the one.”

“Yeah, for now. You ready?”

“Let’s go.”

Hailey waited until she was held hostage in the car, buzzing down the main road, before asking the big question Paige had known was coming but dreaded hearing. “Have you talked to Mitch?”

“No, and I’m not going to.” That was the deal and Hailey knew it as well as she did. “What’s playing at the theater? I’m in the mood for an action movie. Or horror.”

“No horror. The last time you dragged me to a horror movie, I woke up crying for my mommy in the middle of the night. Thank god I live alone.”

Paige laughed, letting Hailey lighten her mood. She and Mitch had both laid it out there in the beginning. He wouldn’t call or text, and she wouldn’t mope. And she didn’t need to put on lipstick and a dancing dress and rush out to find another man. She didn’t need another man in her life.

And there was no other man she wanted.

* * *

“You’ve done one hell of a job, Scott.” Mitch tapped the pile of papers he’d gone through to neaten the edges, then tucked them in the folder. “I appreciate you taking up the slack while I was in Maine.”

“It’s what you pay me for.” Scott Burns sat back in the armchair and picked up the tumbler of scotch sitting on the end table next to him. “And to be honest, it was nice to have the challenge. We all got to step it up a notch for a while.”

Mitch picked up his own scotch, then leaned back against the sofa and put his feet on the coffee table. The gesture reminded him of the night he’d sat on Paige’s couch and touched the bathroom wall with his toes, and he downed the drink in one gulp. His suite was midlevel and nothing too fancy, but it probably still had more square footage than that trailer.

He forced his focus back onto Scott. “Is that your way of telling me you guys don’t need me around anymore?”

“It’s my way of saying…maybe you can take the time to resolve whatever it is you left unresolved back at home.”

Mitch thought he’d done a good job of hiding the fact he’d returned from Whitford a changed man, but maybe not. Still, he could hedge a little. “My brother wants to sell the lodge.”

“Really? How do you feel about that?”

“I’m not sure yet. I can’t imagine it not being our home but, on the flip side, I sure as hell don’t want to run the place.”

“Ah. Youngest kid got stuck holding the bag?”

“Yup.”

Scott swirled the scotch in the bottom of the glass and then looked Mitch in the eye. “And the woman?”

“What woman?”

“Oh, come on. I’ve known you a long time.”

“Her name is Paige.” It hurt just to say it out loud. “She reopened the old diner and she’s…amazing. But, you know, I have a business and she has a business and I travel and she loves Whitford. So it was pretty much doomed from the beginning.”

“Wait. You left this woman because of the company?”

“What was I supposed to do, Scott? Walk away from it and hang everything and everybody—including you—out to dry?”

His right-hand man laughed at him. “You know I’m married, right? That I have two kids?”

“What the hell does that matter?”

“It’s not an either/or situation. I’m traveling right now because I need to be on-site for this phase of the job, but then I’ll go home. To
them
. And I’ll work from home until I need to be on-site somewhere again, and they’ll kiss me goodbye and then I’ll call every night to tell them I love them. It’s compromise.” Mitch started to say something, but Scott wasn’t done. “And don’t even tell me it’s different because you own the company. You and I share a pretty equal workload. As a matter of fact, if we split up the jobs on a more even basis now that we’ve all proven we won’t sink your company by running amok when you’re away, we could both have more time at home.”

“I’m almost never home. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“You
choose
to live this way. Almost everything you’re going to do for the next ten days to two weeks, you could do from New York. The planning, running the prints, projections. A shitload of computer work. And if you can do it from New York, you can do it from Maine. Oh wait…kind of like you’ve been doing for the last six weeks?”

“I should have fired you five years ago when you had the flu and forgot to call in sick.”

Scott snorted. “You missed your chance, buddy. And speaking of working from home, since I’ve wrapped up everything that can only be done on-site for the time being, I’m catching an early flight in the morning so I can spend the next two weeks with my wife and kids. You know, like normal married people whose work involves travel do.”

“Screw you.”

“Good to have you back, boss.” Scott stood and reached out to shake his hand.

“Thanks for not sinking the company.”

Once Scott was gone, Mitch poured himself another scotch and walked over to the window. He didn’t have much of a view, but it was something to look at, at least, while he turned the problem of Paige Sullivan over and over in his mind.

It wasn’t Paige who was the problem. It was him. She’d been living a wonderful life doing what she wanted, where she wanted. He’d blown into town, swept her off her feet—and been swept off his by her—and then he was gone.

And here he was in Chicago, doing what he loved and sleeping in a bed big enough for four people, and all he could think about was Paige. How he wanted to wake up with her in that bed. Every time he took a shower in the spacious bathroom, he thought of her.
Everything
made him think of her. And miss her painfully.

He’d thought it would ease up after the first day or two, but every time his phone rang and he hoped it was her or he thought of something he wanted to tell her, losing her hit him like a wrecking ball all over again. He had the feeling it would be a long time before he got over that. If ever.

The question was what he was going to do about it.

* * *

Paige heard the quiet purr of a car’s engine and the crunch of its tires on the gravel at the same time headlights cut through the darkness of her bedroom.

There was no reason for a vehicle to be in the lot between the diner and her trailer at almost midnight, so she pulled her phone off the charger and slid out of bed, her thumb hovering over the nine.

By the time she got to the window, the engine had stopped and she heard a car door slam. Not trying to be quiet, then. With her heart pounding, she peeked out through a crack in the curtains, careful not to disturb the fabric, ready to dial for help if she didn’t recognize the driver.

She recognized him, though, which did nothing to calm her racing pulse. It was Mitch, standing in the parking lot with his hands shoved in his pockets, staring at her door.

The seconds felt like long minutes as she watched him, neither of them moving. He looked tired. And, even though he’d shown up in the middle of the night, she got the impression he wasn’t totally happy about being there. She knew she should open the door, but she was afraid if she left the window—if she lost sight of him—he might change his mind about whatever had brought him there, and leave.

It wasn’t until his shoulders lifted and fell on a deep breath and he took a few steps toward the trailer that she moved. There wasn’t much she could do about the fact she was wearing a T-shirt that should already be a few years into its second life as a dust rag, but she tried to smooth down her hair. Then she flipped on the light and pulled open the door as she heard his footfalls on the steps.

He stopped when the light washed over him and simply looked at her. She drank in the sight of him, forced to finally admit to herself she’d been terrified of never seeing him again. “Hi.”

“I don’t know what to do, Paige.”

“About what?”

“Us. I don’t know what to do about us. I can’t walk away from Northern Star Demolition. I have obligations. I have dozens of people—and their families—depending on me for work. I have to travel. And I built that company from nothing. I’m not walking away from it.”

He was going to ask her to go with him. Paige tried to brace herself, but the shock of the choice she was about to face almost stole her breath. She could have Mitch. All she had to do was give up her home. Her business. Her friends. And that meant she was about to get her heart broken all over again, because she couldn’t do it.
Wouldn’t
do it.

“But I can’t ask you to walk away from this,” he said, and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “You bought this trailer and you’ve brought that old diner back to life. You’ve made Whitford your home. So I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

He gave her a small smile, rocking back on his heels. “I was hoping you’d know what to do.”

She desperately wished she did. “What is it you want?”

“You. I want you and I don’t want to be a luxury. I want you to need me. I want you to not be able to concentrate because you’re thinking about me. I want you to reach for your phone because you thought of something you have to share with me. I want you to not even be able to breathe at the thought of never seeing me again, because that’s how I feel about you, Paige. I want to be a necessity.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. “I do need you, because I love you and you make me happy. I can live my life just fine on my own, but it will be so much better if I live it with you.”

“I love you. And we can make this work. I’ll try to cut back on my traveling and delegate a little better, which I’m willing to do if it means more time at home with you. As long as you’re waiting for me.”

“Always.” He kissed her until she could barely breathe, then held her for a long moment. “The women in this town are going to be so disappointed you’re off the market.”

“There are other women in this town besides you?”