All I Have Left (8 page)

Oh right, I remember, it’s because I’m an idiot. Leave it to me to me to go out with any jackass in Pinckard.

I got in simply out of defeat. He knew it. I knew it.

Fuck my life, it sucks.

Shane got in the car after me, the door slamming shut behind him.

“So, Evie, I’m waiting. Who is he?” he pressed again as he pulled out of the parking lot onto the highway.

Controlling the sigh that wanted to escape, I knew this was the point I needed to act civilized. “His name is Grayson. I’ve known him since I was four. He left for three years and joined the military. Apparently he’s home for a while. I think. I didn’t really have a chance to talk to him.”

“Yeah, it didn’t look like talking,” Shane mumbled, his eyes on the road, his chin tucked down. “Were you fuckin’ him back stage?”

“No. I wasn’t.”

“What’s his last name?”

There was absolutely no sense in lying. None. “Gomez.”

Shane was quiet for a moment before the rage hit him. He slammed his fists into the steering wheel, gripping it forcefully causing his knuckles to turn white.

He figured it out all right. I just stared out the window, careful not to make eye contact with him.

“Goddamn it, that’s fucking great, Evie. I knew that guy in high school.” I could see his chest heaving as he breathed, his uncontrollable temper taking over as it did most nights. “He’s that arrogant jackass who played shortstop for the baseball team. I saw you with them all the time. If you think I’m letting you go anywhere with him you’re out of your goddamn mind! He probably just wants to fuck you.”

If only he knew. The truth was, that did happen. And it was unforgettable heartache. Something I could never ever forget. Never wanted to forget.

Nothing I could say would make this Shane calm down now, I knew that. I definitely wasn’t going to tell him that I just thought about having sex with Grayson again and how awesome it would be but that was probably not going to happen again.
Ever
. Grayson left me and surely he wasn’t going to display that type of interest in me. I had always been just Evie to him, the one who was always there for him whenever he needed. His sister’s friend. His friend. I was the one who always remembered that he was allergic to tomatoes and picked them out of everything for him so he didn’t get sick. I was the one who knew that he couldn’t play baseball unless he had his lucky socks, and made sure they were in his bag before every game. I took care of him. That was until he left.

“Just take me home, Shane. I’m tired.” I rested my head against the window as I stared out at the passing cars, each headlight burning bright. My eyes burned with tears, both from the light and the pain. This was so frustrating.

Shane gave a muffled laugh. “You’re coming to my house. I don’t want you near
Grayson Gomez
,” and then his tone changed. “Besides that, after seeing you in this dress,” he groaned slightly, his weight shifting to one side as he leaned into the center counsel. When he placed his hand on my thigh, I knew where that was going. Instinctively I moved my leg further away. “I wouldn’t mind having you alone for a while.”

He’s fucking deranged if he thinks I’m letting him touch me now.

“You know if you deny me, it only makes it worse,” he said, giving me that look. “Why do you make me do this?”

I had no answer for him. I didn’t make him do shit.

Shane didn’t listen to my objections and instead took me back to his house a little after midnight. He was renting a house about three miles from mine tucked away behind the high school.

I was so exhausted that I must have fallen asleep on the way because the next thing I knew I was being placed on his bed.

He sat down next to me and began to take my dress off, kissing my shoulders, then making his way toward my exposed neck. He brought his hand under my chin to lift my face up for a kiss.

“Shane, stop.” I groaned pushing him off twisting my head to avoid his kiss. “I’m not in the mood right now.”

“What if I don’t stop? Then what?” his eyes were dark as he hovered over me held up by his extended arms.

My tired eyes searched his and then the features of his hard face. “Don’t…”

He blinked and then let out a growl under his breath and sat up balling his hands into fists beside him. “I should just fuck you right now. Show you who you belong to, just in case your teasing ass forgot.”

I had so much I could have said to him right then. So much I should have said. But I didn’t I could give anyone a piece of my mind but not Shane Lawson.

“I should just take it.” He said again, coming closer, his hands on the edge of my panties.

I pushed back again. “Just take me home.” I pulled my dress back down, not that there is much to pull down, but I tried anyway. “Come on, I’m tired.”

“You know, I don’t think I will,” he said, calmer than I imagined he would be. His mood changed when he looked at his cell phone as it buzzed. I knew exactly who that message was from too. Fucker. “Walk home.” He stood up and proceeded to take his clothes off and get in bed.

What a tool
.

At least he didn’t hit me. That was a change from the previous nights, and sadly, at least he wasn’t forcing me to have sex with him again.

As I left, I began to wonder exactly how many gallons of gas it would take to burn his precious custom ’67 Mustang to ashes. The thought had me laughing a little to myself as I put my shoes back on. I really wanted to see his face as the red beast burned.

Goddamn son of a bitch. As I watched Evie in the arms of another, I felt my whole body tense, my fists clenching in anger. I was pissed at not only the way he was touching her, but the way he looked at her and the way she looked scared to death of him. But then, most of all, mad at myself for leaving her in the first place.

What in the hell have I done?

I knew coming back I was setting myself up for this but deep down, I was prepared to a certain extent, but not for this.

Josh and Ethan lunged for me as I started to walk toward them, scrambling to get a hold of me. It was probably for the better. I had every intention of beating the living shit out of this asshole. I would have too. There’s one thing the last three years had done for me. Empowered me with a physical strength that knew no bounds.

“Come on, buddy,” Josh coaxed with a nod toward my truck. “We need to catch up.”

He reached to grab my arm as I roughly jerked away from him. Josh was strong but nothing could control me when I was angry. I flexed my arm away but he grabbed me again. I think he knew right then he would need Ethan’s help to contain me.

I relaxed a little, not wanting to cause too much of a scene my first night home.

“Believe me, Grayson, it’s better we let her be right now.” Ethan said, giving me a look I didn’t understand. “For Evie’s sake let’s just please walk away.”

I could see hesitation in his eyes that he was hiding something, or maybe I didn’t want to believe it. It was a similar pain, the same magnitude that I saw in Evie’s eyes.

“I promise I will explain later,” he assured me, knowing I wasn’t going to just back down that easily. “Let’s go.”

That guy with Evie stood there staring me down like I was the devil before they left, and I kept my glare as well. He looked like he was itching to say something or start a fight. I would give it to him too. If he wanted to brawl, then I would, right here.

But he didn’t. I think he knew he didn’t have a fucking chance in hell against me. Instead he took with him what I knew wasn’t mine anymore. Right then I knew for sure. Shit had changed.

“Let’s go,” Josh pushed me hard, and I started walking forward toward the cars.

Maybe to torture myself, I glanced over my shoulder as they pulled me away only to see Evie being dragged. Actually fucking dragged.

When we got near the bar, I couldn’t help it and punched the side of the building, partly because I had a problem with my anger and the other, well, I wanted him to see I was no one to underestimate. I glanced back at him and saw that he was looking right at me.

That’s right, asshole, she does mean something to me.

I could be a tenacious motherfucker when I wanted to be and with Evie, I would always be one. My eyes caught hers for a fleeting moment, just one, before they were gone again.

“Do you guys mind explaining?” I tried to control the anger in my voice but there was no hiding it. I’ve never been very good at that.

Ethan and Josh exchanged a loaded glance before Ethan shrugged. “Grayson, it’s best we let Evie go with him. For her sake.” Josh unwillingly drug me by the arm.

I jerked my arm away from him forcefully but continued to walk with them. I didn’t need my hand held for Christ sakes.

“We’ll explain later,” Frankie muttered jumping on my back. She was in no shape to even be walking at this point, so I carried her to Ethan’s Jeep.

After buckling Frankie in Ethan’s Jeep, I slid into the driver seat of my Chevy just as Josh got in with me. I assumed this was their way of insuring I didn’t follow Evie, which was probably a good idea. Because I had been planning on it.

“I’ve missed you, Grayson,” he said, rocking my shoulder, obviously trying to lighten the mood,
not helping
. “It’s good to see you.”

“Looks like
a lot
has changed in three years,” I growled pulling out of the parking lot, a spray of gravel and dirt kicking up in a cloud.

Josh shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Some things are better left alone if you know what I mean. Causing problems will only cause more for her,” he added, instantly regretting his words, he looked away. He knew this would only make me angrier.

“Who the fuck is that guy?” Instinctively I gripped the steering wheel preparing myself for what I knew I didn’t, and never wanted, to hear.

“Who’s who?” He teased, trying to play dumb. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel in anger, letting out a dramatic sigh.

“Jesus, chill out man!” he laughed.

“Nothing about this is funny, Josh. Who is he and why is Evie with him?” I was losing my patience fast. “How could you let her be around someone who treats her like that?”

I was taking it out on Josh, he didn’t deserve it but I was livid. Shitty part was I only had myself to blame right now. He knew that as well.

He sighed, I’m sure, completely frustrated with me as well. “Shane Lawson. He’s her boyfriend. And a fucking tool at that.” Josh looked away again, his gaze on the window. “Why do you care so much? You left,” he added.

When I left, I didn’t think about how it would affect anyone. I acted on impulse. The fact was I had friends, not just Evie, who were hurt I never told them my plan and why I left. Most of all that I cut off all ties with everyone thinking that’s what was best. It’d be one thing if I would have left for college and kept in contact, but I didn’t. I joined the military and pretended like life outside of that didn’t exist anymore. In some ways, it didn’t. I threw myself into that life and didn’t look back.

Choosing to ignore his last comment I thought about who Shane was. The name sounded familiar. “Shane…you mean that jackass from high school?” I seethed instantly knowing who he was.

“That’s the one…” Josh nodded confirming as I groaned next to him.

Shane Lawson played football with Josh all through school. None of us liked him so Josh enjoyed making his life hell on the football team. I’m not going to lie…I helped at times but he was also three years older than me.

There was always something off about Shane and his temper was worse than mine was. He was kicked off the football team his senior year for getting into too many fights with opposing teams. Keeping himself composed when angry was not in his nature.

“What the fuck, Josh!” I choked out. I was pissed, even more than I already was. “How could you…
how could Ethan
…allow her to date that moron?”

His eyes narrowed at me, now he was pissed. “You know what? Fuck you, Grayson. As though we had a choice.” Josh shot back. “You know how she can be. No one is going to tell Evie Brooks who she can date.”

Ain’t that the fucking truth.

“How long have they been dating?” I groaned knowing he was right.