All I Want (17 page)

Cherished

“You’re awfully quiet over there,” Sean said on the drive to his parents’ house Wednesday morning. Since Carly didn’t have school, he felt it was easier to leave the day before, spend the night and relax before he subjected her to the chaos of his family.

“Just thinking.”

“Nervous?” As quickly as she said yes to his invitation to Boston, he’d seen the apprehension behind her eyes. First, because he knew it was the first holiday she’d spent away from her own family. And second, his family was a lot to take in all at once. He’d tried to fill her in little by little over the last few months and he knew she had a good memory, but it was one thing to hear about everyone and another to come face-to-face with them.

“Just a little. It’s more people than I’m used to at once. But as Brynn so nicely pointed out, it’s less than the group she is with today.”

“We could have gone there if you wanted.” He never would have, his mother would have skinned him alive first, but Isabel had come in and personally invited him like she did every year.

“That’s okay. I’m sure it’s going to be crazy there too. Even though I know everyone now, that’s for family. I’m not their family.”

“You are more than you think.” It was the truth. He knew how that group was. He’d been invited to several summer parties in the past, not to mention holidays. He’d attended a few parties and everyone made him feel welcome, but he didn’t overextend himself. Like Carly said, they were family.

“I guess you’re right. Isabel made me feel so much a part of everything for Brynn and Alec’s wedding.”

“Besides, I’m sure everyone is going to be fawning over the new baby. Phil is on cloud nine, walking around all smiles and in a dreamlike state. It’s kind of funny, but nice to see too.”

“Phil went to work this week?” she asked, stunned.

“No, not really. He stopped in on Tuesday to get his laptop. I’m sure he will be doing some work from home when Sophia and Ian are resting, but he will stay with them for at least the week. Then again, with all his in-laws still in town, he might go to work on Friday when no one is there.”

“Oh, so Sophia’s parents are still in town? Brynn wasn’t sure how long they were staying.”

Sean said, “I heard Alec telling Brynn that one won’t leave until the other does. Something about always trying to one-up each other, so they will probably leave the same time. Sophia seems to be enjoying the company. Her mother and her husband are staying at Sophia’s house, but her father and his wife are in a hotel.”

“They didn’t have enough room? I thought everyone had a big house in their family.”

“Plenty of room, but not enough patience, I’m sure. Anyway, enough talk about them. What did your mother and grandmother decide to do today?” He was still a little bothered that he was taking Carly from them, but he wasn’t ready to offer for them to make the trip either. He wasn’t sure he could handle the car ride there, not with the bickering Trisha and Theresa seemed to do nonstop.

“They decided to go out to eat actually. I normally cook, and rather than the two of them cooking that big meal, they made reservations out. I think they will like it.”

“You cooked Thanksgiving? You never said that.” Now he really felt bad. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she did, but not only was he taking her away from her family, but also taking the person who hosted their dinner.

“It’s fine, really it is, Sean.” She reached over and patted his hand. “Your face is priceless right now. Trust me, they won’t care. Maybe it will do them good to go out and spend a holiday without me.”

He nodded. He wasn’t sure what else to say, so he changed the subject. “When did you find time to make everything?”

He’d been shocked when he picked her up two hours ago and there was a big cooler by the door. When he asked what was in it, she’d said, “Treats for your family.”

“What do you mean by treats?” He bent down and opened the cooler and saw easily two dozen gourmet coated apples with sticks poking out and little turkey tags on each explaining what was on each apple. Then he opened another box next to the apples and saw several layers of caramel and candy coated pretzel rods. “My father is going to be in heaven; he has such a sweet tooth.”

“Really?” she asked, charmed. “I’m happy. I had to bring something and I thought these would travel well, and they last a long time if stored in the refrigerator. There are enough apples for everyone plus a few extra, and a few dozen of the pretzel rods.”

He’d shaken his head at her. He shouldn’t have been surprised she went out of her way to bring something. “I told you that you didn’t need to make anything.”

“I know, but it’s not polite to show up empty-handed.”

“When did you find time to make all the apples and pretzels?”

“Oh. I did the apples on Sunday afternoon and the pretzels Monday night. It’s not really that hard, just a little time consuming.”

“So did you leave any at home for me?” he asked. He had a sweet tooth too, and she knew that by now.

“What do you think?” She was batting her eyelashes at him, looking much more playful than moments ago and he was glad he’d changed the subject.

“You’re so good to me, Ms. Springfield.”

“Yes, I am, and don’t you forget it. I even made enough for you to share with the office next week.”

He’d never forget it. She wasn’t just good to him, she was good
for
him. Great for him. Perfect.

Everything in this world that he ever wanted was right there staring at him. Everything he’d never known he needed was holding his hand just now, her eyes shining, gazing at him.

The sensations rushing through him, thousands—no millions—all at once, flooding him and every nerve ending he had. It didn’t matter, he didn’t care if he sounded foolish or sentimental just now, but he had to say it, he had to get it off his chest. “You were born to be cherished, though I suspect you haven’t been enough in your life. I’m going to make up for it, because you’re mine and always will be. I just never realized it until now.”

***

Cherished. No, she never felt that before in her life. Ever.

“You’re mine,” he’d said. And though those words could be taken on a serious note, or taken as controlling, she didn’t see that. Didn’t feel that at all. She wasn’t alarmed he’d said it. She wasn’t nervous or anxious like she might have felt if those words were spoken by someone else. She was engulfed with emotions so great she wanted to cry.

“I’m sorry,” he rushed out to say. “Too much, too soon?”

“What?” she asked, looking at his face and seeing his distress.

“I’m moving too fast. You can tell me. Don’t be afraid. I guess I just had a moment. Must be the anticipation about being around my family. My sensitive emotions are coming through,” he rushed out to say, smiling at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Why do you say that? You aren’t going too fast.”

“You’re crying. I made you cry,” he said cringing now.

She felt a tear slip down her cheek. Crap. She didn’t think she was. “Sean. What you just said. It’s all true. I’ve never been cherished before. My life, my childhood, it’s nothing I want to talk about, or even remember. Sometime, maybe I’ll tell you, but not now. So no, I’ve never been cherished before, not like what you mean, and if I’m crying, it’s because I’m happy.”

“Really? You aren’t just saying that?”

“Really. I’m happy. I know Brynn has said things to you before about me being a homebody. I know she told you I was tender, and I can imagine the rest she has said. I’m simple at the heart of things. I want a simple life with a man and a family. All I want—no all I
need—
is someone to love me. I don’t need big houses, or grand parties and huge gifts, I just need you.”

She saw the expression on his face change. She wasn’t sure what it was and now was wondering if she’d put her foot in her mouth. If maybe she showed her cards too soon and he was regretting what he said, what caused her to say what she did.

“What I want is what you want. What I need is the same. You, by my side.”

She knuckled another tear away. “This is the worst conversation to be having in a car,” she said, snorting out a laugh.

He chuckled with her. “I guess so.”

“I want to hug you right now and I can’t,” she said giggling. “I can’t even lean over to kiss you. I’d have to take my seatbelt off for that.”

“And we wouldn’t want you to do anything that is illegal, right?”

“No.”

“Ms. Springfield is always a role model, right?” he said, joking.

She laughed, she had to. She never thought of herself as a role model before. After all, who would have wanted the life she had growing up? No one, that’s who.

She’d like to think she was making a change in people’s lives, showing them they could overcome anything—any nightmare. Except, she’d never told anyone her past before. She’d never wanted to go there.

Very few people knew about her childhood, and she liked it that way. She liked keeping it locked in the closet where she’d hidden so many times. It was too hard to talk about, too hard to even think about, but she knew at some point she’d have to tell Sean. He had a right to know.

It wouldn’t change anything they had. It wouldn’t make a difference in their relationship, but he needed to know. He should know, she understood that. Not right now though, or any time in the near future. She didn’t want to rain on her parade right now. She was just too happy to think about the nightmare she’d lived for so long.

Sweet Girl

“Sean, come give your mother a hug and a kiss.” He’d barely had time to set his and Carly’s bags down in the front hallway before his mother came running over to him, engulfing him in a huge hug.

Claire Callahan was short, a little pudgy, had a lot of personality, and he loved every minute of who she was. “Bend over so I can kiss your cheek. I swear you make me ask on purpose. Let me look at you.” She clucked her tongue. “Still too skinny for me. We’ll put some meat on your bones in the next two days.”

Great. Already babying him and he didn’t even have a chance to get his jacket off. What happened to being on their best behavior? “Mom,” he said pulling out of her embrace. “This is Carly Springfield. Carly, my mother, Claire Callahan.”

Sean watched amused as Claire turned and pulled Carly into a hug. His mother was an inch or so taller than Carly, but much bigger in her frame. “Aren’t you such a tiny thing? Sean has been very close-lipped about you. Now I know why. Sean,” Claire said turning toward him, “I thought you said you were feeding her.”

Oh dear, this he didn’t expect. “I feed her, Mom. Every time you send me food I have Carly over for dinner. And she cooks for me all the time.”

“Are you a vegetarian, dear?” Claire asked.

He watched Carly’s head move back and forth between the two of them, humor riding high on her face. Good, now she could see what he put up with all the time. “No, Mrs. Callahan, I’m not a vegetarian. I just never seem to sit still.”

“Call me Claire, please. None of that Mrs. Callahan crap. I’m not my mother-in-law, thank the Lord, and I never will be, God rest her soul.” His mother stopped her rush of words and waved her hand. “Anyway, I guess running after children all day burns a lot of calories. Don’t you worry; we’ll put some meat on your bones too.”

“I can’t wait,” Carly said, turning and looking at him, her eyes wide and almost bugging out of her head, laughter surrounding them.

“Mom, why don’t you show Carly to my room if you don’t mind? I need to go get the cooler out of the car.”

“Cooler? Please tell me you didn’t bring food. You should have eaten it yourself if there was food in it,” she scolded him.

Carly jumped in and came to his defense. “Actually I made something. I know you told me I didn’t need to, but I didn’t feel right coming empty-handed.”

“What did you make?” Claire asked curiously. He knew his mom and she was thrilled Carly made something, even though he told her she didn’t need to. Carly’s manners dictated she do that and there was nothing Claire liked better than knowing her children were with someone with manners.

“I made vegetable soup, with roasted red pepper hummus along with herbed bread.”

Sean burst out laughing at his mother’s expression. Would you look at that? Carly had a sense of humor and her nerves weren’t getting the best of her. He’d give her credit for saying that to his mother at the first meeting. If he didn’t love her before, he would have fallen in love with her right then. “She’s kidding, Mom.”

Claire looked at Carly. “Are you?”

“Of course,” Carly said, giggling. “I don’t think I could make bread nearly as good as Sean, so I wouldn’t even attempt it. Not to mention I’ve had your soup several times. Actually I was hoping, if you didn’t mind, if I could have a few of your recipes. They’re really good and I’d like to make them for Sean so he has a taste of home.”

“Oh, aren’t you the most precious thing. Of course you can have some recipes.” His mother grabbed Carly’s arm and pulled her up the stairs. “Sean can bring your bags up. Let me show you to his room.”

Their voices trailed off as they climbed the stairs. What a stinker Carly was. She’d just played his mother. She’d been nervous over nothing. If there was one thing Claire Callahan wanted, it was someone to take care of her kids, or take more care of them. He didn’t need it, but no matter how many times he reminded her he was a grown man, his mother wanted nothing more than for him to find someone who would cook for him and care for him like she did.

***

“So, I made a good impression, didn’t I?” Carly said, smothering a grin.

They were lying in his bed, the light out, whispering. His father had gotten home less than an hour ago. He and Carly had gone to the pub for dinner and he introduced her. Somehow he ended up working behind the bar like he always did when visiting, not for long though. He didn’t want to leave Carly alone. But she’d surprised him,
and his father
, by clearing tables during the dinner rush.

Patrick Callahan had been mortified and told her to sit down and relax. Sit at the bar and keep Sean company—the rush would die down soon—but she didn’t listen. She just smiled that bright smile of hers, the apples of her cheeks all flushed, her eyes sparkling with laughter, and said, “I bussed tables in college. I won’t break anything, don’t worry.” Then she got up and grabbed a bin off the bar and walked around picking up empty plates and bottles. She even came back with a few drink orders.

Carly was just full of surprises. He’d never pictured her as a waitress, but she had the personality for it. She was so good with people. She had everyone smiling that she came in contact with tonight. She’d won his father over, there was no doubt.

He didn’t even need to hear his father boasting to the regulars that Carly was “Sean’s girl” to know his father was well and truly smitten. And if working at the pub tonight didn’t do it, hearing what Carly brought did. He thought his father was going to get down and kiss Carly’s feet. “Claire won’t let me have as many sweets anymore. She bakes and sends everything to Sean or the grandkids.”

Sean explained. “My father’s cholesterol is higher than it should be, or at least that’s what my mother says, so she teases him by baking every week and giving him no more than two cookies before she ships them off to everyone else.”

“That’s not very nice.” Poor Carly’s face turned purple with embarrassment after she’d spoken those words. “Not that I don’t think your wife is nice. That isn’t what I meant.”

Patrick just burst out with his robust laugh, slapped Sean on the back and said, “You did well.”

“You did make a great impression. I think my mother might even forgive you for the fact that you allowed my father to have two pretzel rods tonight.”

“I made plenty,” she reminded him.

“You did, and since you let me have one too, you’re forgiven.”

“I didn’t know I needed to be forgiven from you.”

“You wouldn’t let me have any on the trip here.”

“Because they weren’t for you,” she reminded him. “Yours are at the house for when we get back.”

“Is that so? Aren’t you just a sassy little thing lately? I like this side of you.” He rolled over on top of her, lowering his voice even more. His parents’ room was at the other end of the house, so there was no way they could hear them. Not to mention he knew his parents were watching TV in bed; they always did.

“I think I like this side of me too. I’ve been so nervous and I always put my foot in my mouth, but for some reason I had fun teasing your mother. I shouldn’t be surprised she still treats you like a kid.”

He frowned, his mother still did. She’d never stop, but he didn’t want to think about that. Not now, not when he was in bed with Carly, and she was all warm and soft under him. “Enough talk about my parents,” he said, lowering his mouth to hers, his lips tasting and seeking, opening her mouth and swooping in.

His hand glided up her waist and cupped her breast, his knee sliding between her legs and settling in. “Sean, we can’t,” she said weakly.

“Yes, we can.” He continued to nibble his way around her face, neck and then her ears, pulling her lobe between his teeth, causing her to arch into him.

“Your parents are right down the hall.”

“Yes, so? Let’s feel like teenagers again.”

She laughed, a soft quick sound but enough to be a punch to the gut. “I never did this as a teenager before and I shouldn’t now.”

“There is a first time for everything. Think of it as quiet time in class. Like a church mouse.”

She gasped. “Sean, that’s horrible. Using the word church at the same time that you’re doing what you are.”

“Okay,” he amended, his fingers having found her nipple, now pinching and then rubbing it and pinching it some more. “Think like a mouse then.”

“We really shouldn’t.” But her body was telling her something else, because her nails were now digging into his back, her hips were moving up to his and her teeth were starting to graze his neck.

“Yes, we really should.” He pulled back and leaned over the bed. Groping around for his wallet on the bedside table, he found a condom, quickly shed his underwear and told her, “Get undressed.”

He heard the bed move and assumed she was complying. Sometimes she really was so easy. “I really shouldn’t give in the way I do with you,” she said quickly.

He pulled her back under him. “Yes, you really should. You know why?”

“No why?” she whispered back to him, he’d barely heard.

“Because you enjoy it just as much as I do.”

“More,” she said.

“More what?” he asked.

“I enjoy it more than you.”

That did it. He’d wanted to drag it out, play with her a little, tease her some and make her beg all the while trying to keep her quiet. But he never seemed to have enough control to drag it out.

He had to be in her, and it had to be now.

Covering her lips with his, he slid in fast and urgent, quieting the moan that escaped at the moment he made them one. He slid his hands up and laced his fingers through hers, then moved her hands over her head.

Slowly he pushed his hips forward, then pulled back, small motions, just teasing her the way he wanted to. But she didn’t want any part of that and started lifting up and pulling back herself. He heard his bed squeak and then she stilled. “Not so fast,” he whispered back to her. Now he knew why he never did this when people were in the house before.

Kissing her again, he moved in deep and held her there, short fast movements of his hips, rubbing and grinding against her. Trying to get her there without shaking the bed too much.

He sensed she wanted more, needed more, so he unlaced one hand from hers and slid it between their bodies to find just the right spot. Going to work, he moved around her, in between her and all over her until she was squirming under him and he was holding on by a thread.

The entire time he continued to kiss her, squelching any noises she would have made. When he felt she was just about there, he pulled out enough that she bit his tongue, no doubt in an effort to get him to slide back in. He’d had no intention of stopping or leaving her.

One more time, pulling all the way out, sliding all the way back in, slow precise movements, barely shaking the bed, but more than enough to send her over the edge, with him following quickly behind.

“That was naughty,” she said moments after he’d rolled off of her and took care of the condom.

“You have no idea what naughty is then,” he said back.

“You’d be right; I really don’t. But I still can’t believe we just did that with your parents in the house.”

Neither could he. His mother would probably have a cow if she knew. His father would probably slap in him on the back again. Oh well, his mother had wanted him to find a nice sweet girl, and he did.