All I Want For Christmas Is A Vampire (4 page)

Carlos gasped. “You have two men? Girl, you are hot!”

“It’s not—never mind. I’ll explain later.” She moved up the side of the bed.

“It’s that new ringtone I put on your phone,” Carlos continued. “Now you’re rocking the boys big time.”

“Yeah, right. Bye, Carlos.” Toni snapped her phone shut and dropped it in her pocket. It was a stinking shame she was so inept at modern technology. She had no idea how to remove the ringtone Carlos had cursed her phone with.

Speaking of phones, there was still a beeping one on the bed with Ian. He’d obviously been holding it next to his ear, but now his fingers were relaxed, curling slightly where they rested on the pillow. The receiver must have slid down the pillow, for it was now nestled in the crook of his neck and shoulder. His head was turned toward her, his eyes shut.

She had a creepy feeling his eyes might suddenly open and gaze at her with the blank look of a zombie. With a shudder, she pushed that thought away. She reached for the receiver, but accidentally brushed her hand over his fingers. She jerked her arm back. Shoot, she’d never touched a dead person before. But he hadn’t felt cold and stiff as she expected him to.

She slipped her hand between his fingers and his neck and slowly pulled the phone out. Her knuckles grazed the tip of his chin. It was rough with whiskers. She winced, realizing how close she was to touching his mouth. His lips were slightly parted, perfectly shaped.

She stepped back, bringing the phone to her chest. His expression was peaceful, so different from the intense emotions she’d seen earlier. The thick black fringe of his eyelashes cast a shadow on his pale cheeks. Beautiful. A man shouldn’t look that sweet and rugged at the same time.

Her gaze fell to the dimple in his chin. It had been one of the first things she’d noticed about him. The whole time he’d been fussing at her, she’d wanted to poke it with her finger. She reached out her hand, then snatched it back. What was she thinking? He was one of them.

She dropped the receiver back into the cradle on the bedside table. It immediately rang.

She jumped. Good grief, she needed to get a grip. She lifted the receiver. “It’s okay, Howard. I found him.”

There was a feminine giggle. Definitely not Howard, unless he had a secret she didn’t know about. “Hello?”

“Hi!” Another giggle. “Is Ian there?”

Toni hesitated. If this girl knew Ian, wouldn’t she know he was dead at the moment? “He’s not able to come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?”

“Well, I guess so.” The caller giggled again.

Toni found a pen and pad of paper in the nightstand drawer. She waited, but there was silence. “Hello? You’ll need to give me the message.”

“Oh, right. Okay. Let me think.” Another giggle.

Toni waited while the caller grew silent, apparently attempting to think. Did Ian actually know this girl? Hadn’t he said he was looking for a Vamp woman? This girl had to be mortal because it was daylight, and she was conscious. Sorta. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Oh.” More giggles. “I’m Mitzi.”

Toni wrote on the pad of paper. “And your message?”

“Can you tell Ian I think he’s really hot?”

“Sure.” Toni glanced at Ian. He looked stone cold to her. “How did you meet him?”

“I haven’t yet. I just found him on Single in the City. It’s a dating service, you know?”

“I see.” Was that how Ian planned to find his true love? That didn’t make sense if he was looking for only Vamp women.

“Yeah, I just saw his profile,” Mitzi continued. “And his picture. And I had to call because he’s so hot!”

“Right. Do you want to leave a number?”

Mitzi recited her number. “Can you tell him I want to go out with him? And he’ll probably get lucky, ’cause he’s so hot!” She giggled, then thankfully hung up.

The second Toni set down the receiver, the phone rang again. This had to be Howard. “Hello?”

“Is Ian MacPhie there?” a throaty female voice asked.

Another woman? At least it wasn’t Mitzi. “Ian is unavailable at this time. May I take a message?”

“My name is Lola. I was just reading Ian’s profile at Single in the City, and I must say, it was fascinating.”

“I bet.” Toni glanced at the computer in the office next door. She might need to take a look at this profile.

“Yes,” Lola continued. “I especially liked the part about Ian’s castle in Scotland, and how he’s spending some of his vast fortune to renovate it.”

Vast fortune? Toni snorted, then covered it with a dainty cough. She seriously doubted Ian had a vast fortune when he was working as a security guard for Romatech Industries. Would he really stoop to telling lies on the Internet in order to get dates? The man was gorgeous. Why would he have to lie about anything, other than the little problem of being dead half the time?

“You see,” Lola lowered her voice dramatically, “I was a royal princess in a former life. I belong in a castle.”

“Wow.”

“I’m also a vegetarian,” Lola announced. “I do hope Ian is one, too. He’s so hot.”

“Right. Well, I can safely say he doesn’t eat meat.”

“Splendid.” Lola recited her phone number. “Ta-ta.”

Toni wrote the number down, then she glared at Ian. “Liar. You said you didn’t want to date mortals.”

Cum on feel the noize! She jumped. Now this had to be Howard. Or Sabrina. She pulled out her cell phone. “Hello?”

“Toni?” Howard’s voice boomed. “What’s going on?”

“Everything’s fine. Ian’s in the bedroom on the fifth floor. The phone was off the hook, but I put it back.”

“What was so urgent that he had to call Connor?”

Toni winced. “He was probably calling about me. The concept of a female guard was too bizarre for him.”

Howard chuckled. “He’ll get used to you. Has he seen you fight yet?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Then he knows how tough you are. He’ll learn to trust you in time.”

She grimaced. Ian was actually right to suspect her. She did have a hidden agenda, though she certainly didn’t mean the Vamps any harm.

“Do you need anything today?” Howard asked. He made sure groceries were delivered to the townhouse, so Toni wouldn’t have to leave her charges unprotected.

“I’m fine for now, but I have a final exam Friday at NYU. I’ll need to leave around noon.”

“I remembered that. We’ve arranged for me to come to the townhouse so you can go.”

“But I thought you had to guard Roman and Connor.”

“They’re staying at Romatech, so the guards there can keep an eye on them. Don’t worry. We’ve got it covered.”

“Thank you.” Toni felt relieved, but a bit shocked that the Vamps were willing to change their routine just to help her out. “Just one exam to go, and I’m officially done with my master’s.”

“Great.” Howard paused. “You know, you can probably get a better job than this. It’s not very…intellectual.”

“It’s fine. The pay is a lot more than I expected.”

“Yeah, well, the Vamps know how important it is to have mortals they can trust.”

“I understand.” The phone on the nightstand rang. “Oh God, I hope that’s not Mitzi or Lola.”

“Who?” Howard asked.

“These girls keep calling for Ian. Apparently he signed up with an online dating service.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish. I’ll call you back for the ten o’clock report.” Toni shut her cell phone and answered the house phone. “Hello?”

“Hi,” a soft female voice answered. “Is Ian there?”

Toni groaned. “He’s…meditating right now.”

“Cool. I’m Destiny.” She gave her phone number. “Ian is just so hot. You know, I’m totally synthesized to the harmonic vibrations of the cosmos, so I can tell that Ian and I belong together.”

“I see.” And his vast fortune had nothing to do with it. “Any message for Ian?”

“Yes. I love to take walks in the rain and sit on the beach to watch the sunrise.”

“Great.” Toni wrote Plans to kill you by spontaneous combustion beneath her name. “Thank you for calling.”

She hung up and glared at Ian. “Do you realize my best friend is in the hospital, and instead of being able to call her, I’m stuck talking to your silly girlfriends?” Her voice rose to a shout, but Ian just lay there, oblivious.

“Why are you looking for a woman? Why would a vampire even believe in true love? Do you really think you can be faithful for centuries? A few years is too much to ask for these days!”

He didn’t answer.

“Well, at least you don’t talk back. I’m the boss here during the day, and don’t you forget it.”

He didn’t argue.

She stalked into the adjoining office. She hadn’t gone to college just to end up a social secretary for a horny, hot vampire. So much for her third affirmation, I will achieve something meaningful with my life.

She needed to talk to Sabrina. That would calm her down. She opened her cell phone and dialed the hospital. “Sabrina Vanderwerth’s room, please?”

“One moment,” the operator replied. “Please hold.”

Toni sat in the black leather chair behind the desk and booted up the computer. Maybe she could find something useful in the computer files. Her search in the library had yielded nothing. The phone on the desk rang. Great, another woman. Toni quickly took her name and number, then hung up after Britney expounded on ten reasons why Ian was hot.

Meanwhile, the hospital operator came back on her cell phone. “Sabrina Vanderwerth has been released.”

A sliver of alarm crept down Toni’s spine. “But I just saw her last night. When was she released?”

“I’m not able to give out any personal information.”

“Wait,” Toni began, but the dial tone signaled she’d been cut off.

The phone on the desk rang. “Arrgh!” Toni quickly took the name and number of another girl who thought Ian was hot. Then she dialed Sabrina’s cell phone.

After seven rings, she was transferred to voice mail. “Bri, this is Toni. I just heard you were released from the hospital. Call me.” She checked her phone for messages. Zilch. Where was Sabrina?

The phone on the desk rang again. This time it was LaToya who thought Ian was hot. Then Michelle, and then Lauren. Apparently Ian’s hotness was becoming legendary.

“This is too much,” Toni growled. She used the house phone to call her apartment. Maybe Sabrina had simply gone home, and she was worrying over nothing.

The phone rang until the answering machine picked up. “Bri, are you there? Call me, I’m worried about you.”

She called Carlos in the apartment next door. “Have you heard from Sabrina?”

“No, what’s wrong?”

“She’s been released from the hospital, but I don’t know where she is.”

There was a pause, then Carlos spoke, his voice deeper than usual. “Toni, you need to tell me what’s going on.”

“I will, tonight, when I get off work.” Toni hung up, then the phone instantly rang.

“Damn!” She grabbed the receiver. “What?”

“Good morning. This is Travis Buckley.”

A man’s voice. “Yes? What is it?”

“Is Ian MacPhie there?”

Toni blinked. “You…want to talk to Ian?”

“Oh yes, honey. I saw his picture on Single in the City, and I thought he was so…”

“Hot?”

“Exactly.” Travis chuckled.

Toni wrote his name down. “I would love to tell him you called.”

“Super.” Travis gave her his number. “I think he’s über-hot.”

“Oh, totally.” Toni hung up, then rubbed her temples. “This can’t be happening to me. I’m stuck in the Twilight Zone.” She turned to the computer and clicked on My Documents. A security box came on screen, asking for the password.

“Damn.” If she wasn’t such a techno-moron, she could get around this, but she didn’t have a clue. Oh well, even if she found a document where a bunch of Vamps confessed to being real, would it actually prove anything? Anyone could write such nonsense and claim it was true.

Speaking of false claims, she needed to check out Ian’s profile on Single in the City. It was easy to find. He was on the home page in a list of the ten most popular guys. His photo was great, but his profile sounded like Don Juan on Viagra. The more she read, the more she felt steam coming out of her ears.

The phone rang again. And again. And again. The list of names was now up to thirty-four girls and two guys who all thought Ian was hotter than liquid magma. How would she ever locate Sabrina? Or study for her final?

The phone jangled again. She snatched it up. “Yes, Ian is hot! But you’ll have to wait your turn.”

“Cool.” The girl smacked on chewing gum. “I don’t mind sharing. Is he into group sex?”

Toni grimaced. “You’ll have to ask him about that.”

“Okay.” She popped her gum. “So who are you?”

“I’m…his parole officer.”

“Cool. I’ve got one of those, too. Got busted for solicitation.”

“I hate it when that happens.”

“Yeah. So this Ian dude, is he really as rich as his profile says?”

Toni gritted her teeth. “Just give me your name and number.” She wrote down the information and slammed down the receiver. “I can’t take it anymore!”

She fumbled in the desk drawer and found a big, black permanent marker. She stalked into the bedroom and glared down at Ian. “If I fail my final, it’ll be your fault!” She smoothed his white T-shirt across his rock-hard chest and abs, then wrote in capital letters HOT, HOT STUDMUFFIN. Beneath that she wrote, For a good time, call Travis.

Then she marched downstairs to the ground floor, and turned on the answering machine. The Vamps wouldn’t like it, but she was not about to screw up her last exam because of Ian’s love life. As she descended into the basement, she heard the phone ringing again. The guys in the cellar were fine, so she called Howard for the ten o’clock report. She explained about the answering machine, and he agreed.

While she ate her lunch in the kitchen, the phone rang twelve more times. It was still ringing when she went upstairs to her bedroom. She disconnected the phone there so she could study in peace. She checked on the guys again at one and four P.M. for her afternoon reports.

She also called the hospital back and talked to a nurse on the floor where Sabrina had stayed. The nurse admitted Sabrina had left with family, but wouldn’t say more than that. It had to be Sabrina’s aunt and uncle, since they were the only family Sabrina had. Toni couldn’t recall their last name. The information would be at the apartment. Meanwhile, Sabrina never called back, so Toni continued to worry about her.