All I Want Is You (3 page)

Chapter 4

Jessa

              “Bye-bye, momma. I’m going to grammy’s.” Raven said, jumping all over the bed. That little girl really did drive me crazy. It was sad to say, being that she was my child, but I really don’t think I was ready for children when I had her. I hadn’t told Renzo, but I had gotten two abortions since I had been with him. I had one before Raven and one after her. The only reason Raven’s ass was here was because he found the damn positive pregnancy test with his nosy ass. I would’ve aborted her little ass too, but when he found out, he was so excited, so I couldn’t do that to him.

              “Raven, please stop jumping in the damn bed!” I screamed. Renzo looked at me like I was crazy before shaking his head.

              “I’ve told you about talking to my fucking child that way Jessa.” Renzo said, through gritted teeth.

              “Well, you need to control her little badass. That little girl don’t listen to shit I say. All she hollers is daddy and grammy.” I hissed. Fuck whatever Renzo was talking about. Shit, I had a spa day planned for the next three hours, and I wasn’t trying to deal with her hyperactive butt. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my daughter dearly, but she was a handful, and sometimes, I really couldn’t deal with her.

              “If you spent a little more time with your child, maybe she would listen to you, but you don’t, so that’s why she acts that way.”

              “Well, you need to correct it, Renzo. That little girl walks around here doing whatever the hell she wants, and I’m tired of that shit.”

              “Have a good day, Jessa.” Renzo said, turning to walk out of the room
. You too
, I thought before rolling back over in the bed. I could sleep about an hour more, then I could get up and get ready for my day. I was glad he was taking Raven with his ass, because she would bother me until I got up, and I just really wasn’t in the mood for all of that today.

              Waking up an hour later, I felt a little more energized, but I was still tired. I probably needed to go see my doctor about that, because something wasn’t right. No matter how much sleep I got, whenever I woke up, I was always so irritable. My girl, Tasha, had called not long after I woke up. Tasha and I were one in the same, but she hadn’t gotten as lucky as myself.

              “Girl, what the fuck you doing?”

              “Girl, nothing. Just getting up standing in the closet to look for some shit to throw on. What you doing?” I asked her, as I stood in the closet with a blank expression.
Fuck all this; I’mma throw on a PINK outfit and keep it pushing. I don’t feel like dealing with all the extra stuff today
, I thought, before going to the draw to pull out my PINK sweats with the matching shirt. I decided to wear my Tory Burch slides and the matching tote. I was going to keep it simple but still cute at the same time.

              “Are we still on for today?”

              “You know this.” I responded.

              “Where’s Raven girl? Is the lil’ diva tagging alone today?” she asked. Like I said, Tasha and I were one in the same, so I could be honest with her.

              “She’s with her damn daddy, girl. He probably gonna drop her spoiled ass off to his momma. That lil’ girl is too much.” I complained.

              “Girl, you a hot ass mess. That’s your damn child. What you mean she’s too much?”

              “They have her ass to spoiled, Tasha. Quit acting brand new.”

              “I know you better stop playing for that man start thinking something.” She said. I surely wasn’t trying to hear that shit right now, so I immediately changed the subject.

              “Anyway, so you gonna be ready on time or what?” I asked her. Tasha’s ass was never ready, but today, she would most definitely get left, because I had a one o’clock appointment with Staci, and I wasn’t trying to be late. Staci was the best damn masseuse in River Oaks Advanced Bodyworks. She was located on upper Kirby, which was about ten minutes from the Galleria, but I didn’t give a damn. That girl had me so relaxed every time I walked out of there, so I didn’t mind that hour drive.

              “Yes, I’mma be ready, shit. This is on you, since you the one went and married the big balling nigga and shit. A bitch like me over here broke.” Tasha fussed.

              “Now, when in the hell have I ever made you pay for your own shit? Stop playing with me; you know I got you. Anyway, I’m finna shower and get ready. I’ll be to you in about forty-five minutes.” I said. We wrapped up the call, and I went and hopped in the shower. I only had about two more hours before my appointment, so I needed to get a move on it.

              After I showered, I threw on a splash of makeup, I put my weave into a messy bun, and then I sprayed myself before walking out of the door. I jumped into the Mercedes C-Class before letting the garage up. Being with Renzo definitely provided me with the finer things in life, but lately, we hadn’t been on the best of terms. Most nights, we wouldn’t even have sex, and I knew the way my husband liked sex. I didn’t think he was sleeping around or nothing like that, but something was definitely going on. I didn’t want to lose my husband, but it seemed as though my marriage was falling apart, and I honestly didn’t know what to do to fix it. There would be so many women that would jump at the chance to have all the shit I had, but even that wasn’t feeling like enough to me.

              I had a loving, devoted husband, a beautiful daughter, a big ass house, the nice cars, and a Black Card, but something was still missing. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it but I’m sure it would come up when I least expected it. I came from money so this shit was nothing to me I needed more. I needed a little fun in my life or something, and it seemed like everything with Renzo and I had become routine. Yes, I had him in bed with me every night, but it seemed like he was staying out later and later. He claimed he was at the office working, which wasn’t unusual, but what he was doing at the office, I’m sure his damn big mouth ass sister knew how to do it too.

              Speaking of his sister, I couldn’t stand that bitch, Gisele. She didn’t like me, and she made that shit very obvious. That was one thing that would upset me about Renzo. When it came to her, he would never stick up for me. I wanted to beat her ass so many times, but I knew that would only cause issues in my home, and I didn’t really want those types of problems, so most of the time, I bit my tongue; it was only so many times I was going to let that chick try me.

              Pulling up to Tasha’s apartment, which was located right off the beltway and Wilson Road, I sent her a text to let her know I was outside. Just as I sent her a text, another came through. I smiled unknowingly as Tasha got in the car.

              “What the hell you smiling so hard for?” she asked as she put her seatbelt on.

              “Eww, you nosy. I’m smiling at the text my husband just sent me if you must know.” I said, before pressing send.

              “Um huh, that was a good answer.” She said, eyeing me. I didn’t find a need to respond to her accusations hell. We talked and laughed the rest of the way to the appointment. I was going to relax today and try to get my mind right for later. I really wanted to sit down and have a talk with my husband, because things were getting out of hand.

Chapter 5

Renee

              I had never been happier to see six o’clock in my life. Mr. Bill got on my nerves the entire damn day. I was trying to work, and he was steady fucking with me; I really didn’t understand why. Not only was he irritating me, but so was Jacob. He texted me at least fifty times within the last hour. I mean, the shit was really sad. I was just glad to be getting off and going home to have some damn peace and quiet. Good thing I moved not long ago, because at my old apartments, there was no telling what I was coming home to. Jacob used to pop up more times than enough. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even bother to go straight home, because there was no telling if he was there or not, so I would stop by my mom’s, run to the grocery store, or whatever to ensure that I didn’t run into his ass. I couldn’t believe I actually tried to make that shit with him work. I hated forced connections, and that shit was so forced it wasn’t even funny. I had been let down so many times that I probably wouldn’t even be able to tell a real man if he was sitting at my front door.

              Getting in my car, I put my radio on, and I was en route to the house. My best friend, Daria, called while I was on my way home. Daria and I had been down since second grade. It was funny, because I couldn’t stand her ass when we first met. We actually had a shoving match over who was in line first for the slide, but seeing as how she didn’t back down and neither did I, we became the best of friends. She was more than a friend to me, though. She was something like a sister. I’m talking about me and this girl shared everything.

              “Hey Dee, baby. What you got up over there?”

              “Girl, nothing. Just trying to see what you up to. You know it’s Friday night, so I wanted to get out and hit the city or something.” She said. I knew that meant her and Drake were probably into it. Drake and Daria had the craziest fucking relationship to me, but the love they had for one another was so real you could see it. I loved Drake like I loved Daria, but I wanted him to do better with his life. Drake was nothing more than a street nigga, and I mean that was cool, whatever paid the bills, but I hoped that he wasn’t planning on being a dope boy the rest of his life. He would take my girl on shopping sprees and shit whenever she was mad, give her money, just because it was Monday, or fly out just because she said she was sick of Houston. I wanted a man like that, and most times, I felt Daria took that shit for granted, but you couldn’t tell her hardheaded ass anything. It was either her way or no way, and wasn’t no REAL nigga finna deal with that type of shit, but hey, whatever worked for them.

              “Now, you know good and well Drake not finna let you out of his sight.”

              “Girl, what Drake? Do you hear his ass anywhere here? Hell no, fuck him. Shit, I’m not finna sit up in this motherfucker all by myself and shit. I want to go somewhere, so if you don’t agree, I’m going to come drag you out of the house myself.” She said. I definitely believed that shit too. I just shook my head as we made small talk. The entire time we were on the phone, Jacob had been calling. I was trying to ignore the shit, but the clicking was making it hard as hell for me to concentrate on anything my girl was saying.

              “Girl, Jacob just won’t stop calling.” I said, frustrated. Maybe, I should’ve just gotten my number changed to make things easier, but I had been having my number so long, I didn’t really want to change it.

              “You know I can’t stand that fake ass nigga. I’m not sure why you don’t just get a restraining order against him, shit.” She fussed. I sighed, because little did she know, I did.

One night, I went to a concert with my co-workers, and in my old apartment complex, I stayed on the second floor. There was no way he could get into the house, because the only window right by the entrance was the bedroom window, and I had the dresser blocking it, which was very heavy. Anyway, he called right after the concert was over, and as usual, we got into it. I hung up the phone and  slept at my friend’s house. When I woke up the next morning, I had 80 missed calls, and I’m not exaggerating. I had about 70 missed calls from him alone, then my nephew, Daria, my mother, and my brother. Oh, don’t let me forget the 10 nasty text messages he left. I returned Daria’s call first, and she was hollering as soon as she answered the line.

“Are you okay, Renee. I’ve been worried sick.” She yelled. I looked at the phone like she was crazy. What the hell was the deal? I told her where I was going last night, so what the hell was she worried about?

“What the hell is wrong with you? I’m fine stupid.”

“Someone broke into your apartment last night. I’ve been up since Wendal called and told me what happened. I have been worried sick about your ass.”

“Well, I’m fine. Just calm the hell down.” I said, and with that, she hung up in my face. I called my mother, who chewed me out, and then my brother, who said he was on his way to my apartment. I shook my head, as I called into work to let them know I would be a little late. That way, I could go and take care of my place. I got home, and there was glass everywhere. That bitch ass nigga threw a rock at the window. That shit was weak as hell; especially for a guy to do. I called the police, who came out and pretty much said there was nothing they could do unless I was actually harmed. That was some stupid ass shit right there. He was pretty much telling me that I couldn’t be protected unless this retarded ass nigga actually brought harm upon me.

I moved a month later, but that didn’t stop him from calling. He didn’t know where I stayed, but I would sometimes still visit him. Daria thought I was the craziest bitch in the world, but she didn’t understand, and I couldn’t really help her understand, because I didn’t really understand either. I guess I just needed to feel loved by a man or something. I don’t know what it was, but I did know whatever we were doing, I couldn’t do it a second longer.