All Messed Up: Windy City Kink, Book 2 (24 page)

“Hi, Joe.” She wanted to throw herself into his arms, but this seemed slightly awkward.

Awareness shimmered between them, her heart tripping. She watched as Joe flashed his white smile at his friends.

“I got called in around ten last night,” he said. “I’m fucking beat. But first this.” He popped the top of a bottle of beer and held it up. “Cheers.”

He took a few long pulls then looked at Mallory. “Sorry I didn’t show this afternoon.”

“God, Joe. Don’t apologize.”

Their eyes met and held again. Heat built between them as they eyed each other. Her thighs quivered.

“Yeah, I was a little busy,” he added, lips quirking. “How’re things?”

Mallory rolled her eyes. “Never mind us. How’re you?”

“Good.” Then he closed his eyes briefly and shook his head, even though his lips still smiled.

She wanted to talk to him. Needed to talk to him. But not in a house full of people like this.

“Hungry, Joe?” Sasha asked. “There’s pizza left. I can heat you up a couple of pieces.”

“Yeah. That’d be good. Thanks, Sasha.”

Mallory had to move out of the way so Sasha could access fridge and stove, and she shifted to the end of the counter. Joe answered questions and told them what he could about what had gone down. He’d been the one who’d apprehended the suspect and had brought him out of the house. “Just glad those kids are okay,” he said, shaking his head. “Asshole has a record. Served six years for assault and endangerment charges for a drive-by shooting. His supervision ended in August, for Chrissakes.” He shook his head. “Drives me nuts when these wackos get out on the streets. Look what fucking happens.” He ran a hand through his hair.

Mallory took in the faint lines around eyes and mouth, the weariness in his face. He needed to sleep. But she also sensed the energy humming off him, no doubt the vestiges of the adrenaline rush that had fueled him during the stand-off. She wanted to hold him, pet him, kiss him everywhere and rock him to sleep in her arms. This intense need surged through her and made her dizzy.

Their gazes caught again and shivery sensation cascaded over her body as heat flared in his eyes.

“We were watching on TV,” Kevin told Joe as he related more details. “Mallory here was freaking out.”

She shot Kevin a reproving glare. But there was no point in denying it. She didn’t want to deny it. She wanted to be honest. She wanted Joe to know she cared. She looked back at Joe and caught the way his eyes softened as he looked at her.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, lifting his beer to his lips again.

“I wasn’t having a panic attack,” she answered, holding his gaze. “But yeah. I was scared for you.”

Heat smoldered again as they exchanged looks.

“Jesus,” Kevin muttered, pushing away from the counter. Mallory blinked at him. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He wandered away.

“Now, Paige and I should go,” she murmured, setting her empty glass on the counter. Joe tugged her wrist, circling it with his big, strong hand.

“No,” he muttered. He gave a gentle pull until she was close beside him, then released her wrist and slid his arm around her waist. She melted against him, unable to stop herself, needing that contact. Her arms went around his waist, her front pressed to his side, and he gave her a one-armed squeeze. “Not letting you go again.”

She gazed up at him. “We need to talk.”

“Damn right we do.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Joe kept Mallory at his side, not letting go of her even to eat the pizza Sasha served him, using one hand to eat and drink his beer. She felt unbelievable—warm and soft, and she fit perfectly against his body.

Fuck, he was exhausted. Drained. But at the same time, charged. When he’d seen Mallory there when he walked in, he’d stopped short, almost disbelieving his eyes. It hadn’t even entered his head that she’d still be there now, at nearly midnight.

“Did you spend the whole day here?” he murmured to her. Jack and Sasha moved away, into the living room where the others had again converged.

“Yes.” Her big eyes met his. “I seriously love your friends. In fact, if Paige doesn’t want to move in with Kevin, I am.”

“Like hell,” he growled.

She smiled, the corners of her mouth lifting in way that made him crazy. He wanted to crush his mouth against her, lick that sexy smile, taste her tongue. His body hardened.

“You wanna go home?” he murmured, staring at her mouth.

Her body vibrated against his, melting even more into him. “Yes,” she breathed.

“You and Paige come together?”

“Yeah.”

“You driving?”

She slowly shook her head. “I’ve had too much to drink. I was thinking we’d have to take a taxi.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“You’re okay?”

“Had one beer. I’m good. Think we can drag Paige away?”

They both turned to look at her talking to Emma and Sasha, laughing.

“I think we can,” she murmured. “Yo, Paige!”

Paige looked up and her smile softened as she took them in. “What?”

“Joe says he’ll drive us home. You ready?”

“Sure. Been a long day.”

Hugs were exchanged, goodbyes said, Paige and Kevin entered each other’s cell phone numbers into their phones with promises to be in touch. Then Sasha wanted Paige’s and Mallory’s numbers and more phone numbers were entered.Finally, Joe was leading the two women out to his truck.

“I’ll bring you to get your car tomorrow,” he told Mallory.

She didn’t put up an argument. That was a good sign.

They arrived shortly at Mallory’s building and she directed him to her underground parking spot. They rode the elevator up to her condo in silence. Paige disappeared into the guest room, leaving them alone.

Joe turned to Mallory. “She good?”

“She’s okay. She’s strong. She’s not going to let that asshole ruin her life.”

“Good.”

Inside, he turned to her. “Should I take off my jacket?” he asked. “Or will I be leaving again in a few minutes?” He was only half-teasing, remembering last time he was there.

She held his gaze. “Take off your jacket,” she said softly.

Another good sign.

He shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the same chair she left hers. They stood in her living room, only a floor lamp casting any light, the room cozy with shadows. He moved toward her. “Mallory.” He set his hands on her hips.

Her lips parted, her beautiful eyes wide and shiny. “I’m sorry, Joe.”

His eyebrows drew down. “Sorry?”

“For last weekend. Everything I said was wrong.”

Emotion swirled inside him. “Like what exactly? Hell, let’s sit.” He tugged her over to the sofa, sat in the corner and pulled her onto his lap. She snuggled in so sweetly, but he had to adjust her ass a little for comfort over his half-hard dick.

“I don’t even remember what I said,” she murmured, playing with the collar of his T-shirt. “I just know it was all wrong.”

He chuckled, even as hope swelled in his chest. “Okay.”

“Actually, one thing I said was true. In a way. I said it was supposed to be a fling. You made me feel those things, that rush of the forbidden, of being dirty and crazy. That was true. It was a chance to go there again but have it all end in a week with no harm done.”

Unlike the disaster of her teenage relationship.

“And I have to apologize for something else I said,” she continued. “You were right.”

“About…?”

“You never made me do anything I didn’t really want to. I wanted to do all those things. I didn’t want to admit I still like the rush of doing something bad.”

“Nothing we do together is bad.”

“You know what I mean.” One corner of her mouth kicked up. “I’m sorry I said that. I loved everything we did. With you it wasn’t dirty. It was special. And even though it was risky…with you, it felt safe.”

His heart squeezed painfully, robbing him of the ability to breath. “That means a lot,” he managed to choke out. “Christ, Mallory.”

“I always felt safe with you, Joe.” She shoved her face into the side of his neck and held on tight. “Always. But this afternoon, I was so scared.”

“You’re gonna have to live with that, babe,” he warned her, his voice thick. Her head nodded vigorously against him.

“Once we got back to Chicago, it was supposed to be done. But…it wasn’t.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“It scared me. I’m still scared. I was so afraid of going back to who I was before, so afraid of letting people down, in the end I actually did let you down. In the worst possible way. My stupid fears got in the way of me doing the right thing.”

She lifted her head and he touched his thumb to her quivering bottom lip. “I’m doing the same thing at work. I’m so afraid of letting people down, I’m not doing anything.”

“Sometimes it’s impossible to know what the right thing to do is,” he murmured. “Sometimes there’s just the best thing. Or the least bad thing.”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” She paused. “It wasn’t true when I said I don’t want you. Because I do. Because you saw the real me, the one who likes to be dirty, who likes to take risks, and you wanted me anyway. I think.”

“Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Mallory. We’re the same. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Whatever we like to explore together is just between you and me. It’s not bad or wrong. It just is.”

She swallowed and nodded.

“For what it’s worth,” he said, still stroking her soft lip with the pad of his thumb, his fingertip beneath her hair. “I was terrified too.”

“You’re admitting that?” Her lips curved softly. “You always make out like you don’t give a shit.”

He closed his eyes. “Yeah. That’s what I do. I had to protect myself somehow.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again. “I knew that. I saw what you were doing after you went to see your dad that night. I saw the act you were putting on, but you got drunk and the mask slipped a little and I saw behind it. And I should have known. I shouldn’t have hurt you, because I should have known. I was blind and stupid.”

“Hey, hey.” He kissed her mouth, softly. “I take some responsibility too. I went back to my safe place, pretending I didn’t care. I could have said more. I should have said more. But I was scared to want something so much. Every other time in my life I got my hopes up, I got kicked in the teeth.” He paused. “Had a kinda freaky week this week.”

“Oh. Why?” She gave him big eyes.

“Well.” He bent his head. “First of all, my parents split up.”

Her eyes went even bigger, nearly popping out of her skull. “What! Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “My mom left.”

“Oh my God.” She gaped at him. Then she shook her head. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“I know. That was me too. She called me and made me meet her for dinner. She’s staying with a friend. She and my dad…her husband…” He faltered. Mallory nodded in understanding. “They argued about me going to see Tim and…me…fuck.” He leaned his head back. “I don’t want to be the cause of them splitting up.”

“No.” She caressed his jaw, his face. “No, Joe. You’re not the cause. This all may have precipitated things, but you’re not the cause.”

“I have this weird gut feeling that she’s still in love with Tim.”

She bit her lip. “Really?”

“Yeah. She’s interested in him. Asking questions about him. But she says leaving Dad is because she realized she couldn’t go on being married to someone she doesn’t love anymore. And she hated the fact that he was so hard on me. He’s apparently really pissed that I went to see Tim.”

Mallory closed her eyes, and her lips tightened as if she was in pain. “Joe. I hate that this is happening to you.”

“Fuck, me too. Who knew Grandma spilling the beans was gonna make such a wreck of everyone’s lives. On the other hand…” He squeezed her tighter. “It led me to you.”

She nodded.

“My brothers are pissed at me too. They figure if I hadn’t gone to see Tim, everything would be okay.”

“But it wouldn’t.” She laid her palm gently on his cheek again.

“No. It wouldn’t. It’s all messed up, but it feels like this shit had to come out. I kind of get how my dad felt. He’d been betrayed. Cheated on. I was there every damn day to remind him that his wife loved another man. My mom didn’t come right out and say it, but I get the feeling she never really got over Tim. That’s some tough fucking shit to live your whole life with.”

“Yeah.” Her eyes warmed. “It would be.”

“Anyway. The other weird piece of my week was that Tim called the other day. He’s coming to Chicago next week.” After that call, the first thing he’d wanted to do was see her and tell her. She was the one who would most get how big that was. And it had sucked that he couldn’t. Now he was stoked to share that.

“Really?” Her luminous eyes glowed at him. And he was jazzed at how happy she was for him.

“Yeah. We’re gonna get together. He’s coming next weekend.”

Her throat moved and her bottom lip trembled again, but she nodded. “That’s good. That’s so good.”

“I have to figure some things out too,” he said. “I don’t know what to tell him about my parents. Or my mom.”

“Yeah.” Her fingertips stroked the side of his neck. “I guess you just tell him the truth. As you know it.”

“Yeah. True.” He shrugged. “I’m not pretending I don’t care. ’Cause I do. But I’m an adult now. I have my own life. What’s done is done.” He met her eyes. “And if I have you…it’ll all be okay.”

Her eyes glistened and she touched her fingertips to his cheek. “Oh, Joe. I never wanted you to think you were a problem in my life,” she said on a little sob. “You’re the best thing in my life right now.”

“Me too. Again.” They sat there for a long moments, holding each other.

“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do.” Mallory rested her chin on her hand on Joe’s chest, stretched out naked on top of him the next morning.

“Okay.” His smile was warm and sexy, and he reached out to brush some hair off her face. “You know I like blowjobs.”

She laughed and gave his shoulder a swat. “Not that.”

He grinned.

“I’m going to make one last attempt to convince the company to do the right thing. I have a meeting with the CEO Monday morning.”

“Who’s that?” he asked idly, stroking her cheek.

She worked to focus, his touch sending tingles sizzling through her veins. Even though they’d had energetic, scorching hot sex last night. Twice. Then Joe had fallen asleep, and she’d dozed off too. It had been late and he’d been up for over thirty hours fighting crime. Now it was ten in the morning and they were both awake and revived. “Sandra Estridge.”

“A woman.”

She frowned. “Does that matter?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. So. It’s going over my boss’s head, which is usually unforgiveable, but if he’s pissed off at me, oh well. I want to at least try once more to resolve this the way I think it should go. But if it doesn’t, I’m done.”

His eyes narrowed a little. “Done, as in, how?”

“I quit the company.”

His eyebrows went up. She bit her lip. “Would you be ashamed of me, if I just walked away?”

“Christ no.” One arm wrapped around her back, the other cupped her jaw, holding her face so he could fix his stern gaze on her. “I told you before, Mal, nobody would blame you for walking away.”

“I think my parents might.” Her insides tightened at that thought. But she’d lived so long trying to please them, to not let them down, to make up to them for all the grief she’d caused. She couldn’t keep living her life that way. She had to make decisions that were best for her. And for Joe.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You said that before. I find that hard to believe. But we’ll talk to them.”

She loved that.
We. We’ll talk to them.
Her heart expanded and she sucked in a breath. “Okay.”

“Tell me more,” he demanded.

“If the CEO doesn’t want to listen, or make things right, I don’t want to work there.”

“Good.” His response was firm.

“I don’t know what else I’ll do. But I’ll find something. I don’t feel good about leaving, knowing that they’re still misusing that drug and potentially harming other people. But I think I’ve sorted it out in my mind that it’s not me who’s doing it and I can’t stop them myself. If someone else dies…well…” She closed her eyes against a wave of fear and doubt. “I’ll feel horrible.”

“You wouldn’t be responsible, Mal.”

She nodded. “I know that, in my head. In my gut, I’d feel guilty. But at least I’ve tried to stop them from doing that. I’m not ruling out that I would never come forward. But for me, right now, this is what I have to do.”

His head lifted and he kissed her forehead. “I’m with you, babe. Whatever you need. I know there’s no easy answer for this. I just want you to be happy.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be happy,” she confessed. “But I’ll be okay. And…” She hesitated. “I’m with you too. You know that, right? Whatever you want to do about your family. Whatever you want to say to them. If you want a relationship with your biological father, or your other dad…whatever you want…I’m there for you.”

“I know. Fuck, Mallory, what would I do without you?” He wrapped his arms around her and she slid her arms out from beneath her to hold his head.

“You don’t need to find out. I’m here.”

A few moments later he asked, “Is Paige going to move in with Kevin?”

“I think so. She really liked him. And all your friends. Like I did. They were great yesterday. Kevin is awesome. He made me feel so much better. Helped me understand things.”

Joe nodded. “He’s a good guy. And Mal, I’m there for her too. Not sure of all that’s going on for her, but whatever I can do…I’m there.”