All My Life (6 page)

I look at her feeling completely cured of all my previous bedazzlement. When she doesn’t elaborate on the long-winded story she’s just recounted, I give up and prompt her.

“So? You think what Neil just said was better than that or…
what
?!”

Nalini gives me a confused look. “What?! No. The girl had this off-beat sidekick in the movie. You know the quirky friend? Who’s just there to make the girl look prettier? Well, right now I feel completely like that,” she says and sniffs.

My brain feels frazzled and numb, both at the same time and I’m still thinking of what an impossible state of mind that is, when she summarizes with a shrug. “Just saying.”

A few more seconds of stunned silence and then I roll back on my heels. “O-k-a-y then.” Then for the next hour, I put my head down and focus on my work. When a scheduled client walks in an hour before lunch, I’m proud to say that I’m the very picture of cool and calm as I handle her. She selects the design, I load the machine and then I proceed to etch out a flight of stars on her back. When she leaves feeling happy and satisfied, for the first time in my life I feel…
invincible
. Because nothing that ever happens now can take this away from me. The tattoo I inked on Neil yesterday was not a fluke. I really do have this.
Talent.

I fidget with my hair until I finally give up on the unmanageable mess and decide to leave it open. Blow-dried to hell, my hair bears an uncanny resemblance to a huge bearskin hat. Now all I need is a red tunic and I could march off straight to Buckingham Palace.

Maybe my skinny jeans and silk top will offset the balance? Maybe my special Green Lantern mask will give me that extra edge? Especially, since I’ve matched it with a power ring blinging bright on my finger. Who can beat that I ask you? No one. That’s who.

In addition to the bearskin hat hair, the brown monstrosity of this overcoat that my Mom insisted I wear does somewhat lessen my whole kick-a-pow impact but then there is absolutely nothing I could have done to avert that.

I remember how Mom had reacted when I had told her about my night out with Nalini. Mom’s been to the shop before and she’s met Agnas, Nalini, even Josiah. So obviously she didn’t get all excited at the prospect of my going out with a girl who is into piercing and her headbanging boyfriend.

Thankfully, our argument didn’t drag on too much as it had intruded into Mom’s weekly dose of Saturday night football. Other girls’ mothers spent time watching soap melodramas. Mine is into sports. Secretly I think it’s more about the varied six packs on display than about the actual mechanics of the game. But I have no patience to actually sit through an entire game and catch Mom red-handed ogling at some hunky quarterback.

Now, I’m standing outside the shop waiting discreetly in the shadows, trying hard not to terrorize the passers-by and failing completely. I push myself deeper against the wall as an old couple hurries past me, throwing nervous looks in my direction. Can’t blame them. A huge coat topped with a green mask and a toupee lurking on a dark street would scare the shit out of me as well. A sudden loud roar startles my ugly hat hair right off my scalp.

I watch with dread as a huge-ass bike turns the corner up ahead. My whole body stiffens with alarm as the lone rider starts closing in towards my side of the road and then stops right in front of me! As I stand there contemplating flight or fight scenarios, the rider takes off his helmet and I realize it’s…
Neil
!

Shouldn’t he be grinding into Ms. Stiletto somewhere against a wall or maybe taking care of his Mom or should I say,
Agnas
? And what the hell is
that
all about anyways?

As I contemplate these weighty thoughts, my traitorous eyes roam over his black-booted leg, the distressed jeans, the leather jacket, the bristly jaw, the broken nose and the tousled silk of his hair.
Holy! Smoking mother of hell!
 As my eyes reach up and meet his, he winks and my stomach dives straight into the abyss. Never to be heard from again.

“Like what you see?” he says in his deep voice and I blush, which only succeeds in broadening the grin on his face.

My brain immediately snaps back to reality. “What are you doing here?”

Frown lines crease his beautiful forehead. “Picking you up? Nalini told me you needed a ride?”

Christ!
I’m going to kill that girl!
“Really? Did she?”

I walk up to the bike and stand there, wondering how to climb it. Do I swing my leg back and then hop on? Will my skinny jeans take that much of a stretch? Or maybe I should sit sideways and then fold my knees like a mantis? Decisions. Decisions.

“Angel, if you’d spend this much time exploring me instead of my ride…”

Without wasting another second or risking another innuendo, I fling my leg around and hop on to the bike. There! Not so tough after all. Only. Now I don’t know what to hold on to. I haven’t been near a boy since…
I can’t possibly hold him!
My arms around his torso?
Christ! No way!

“Here, this one’s for you,” Neil says, handing over a helmet. I remove my mask, tuck it in my coat pocket and put on the helmet. My body stiffens as I suddenly feel Neil’s hands gripping me by my knees. A sharp tug and he pulls me forward, smack into his back. When I gasp in shock, he stills his hands and slowly raises them up in surrender.

“Just making sure my angel doesn’t fly off,” he says softly.

While my heart goes thumpy thump, my head is still reeling from the suddenness of his move. That and his use of that possessive noun.
My
…angel?! But before I can process any of this, Neil speaks up again, “Please be careful not to clasp me too hard. I don’t like being pawed upon. Okay?” His voice is without any inflection or even a shred of humor.

I grin and reply, “Okay.”

And then I wrap my hands around his torso without any hesitation or discomfort, something I’d thought impossible just a few seconds ago.
This guy. This. Guy. He’s going to break my heart.

As I get comfortable, I marvel on the way my body fits his on the bike. Like it’s designed to be that way. Which I guess it is. I mean not his specifically but the whole male, female biological thing? I mean not just male, female of course. LBT included. Or is it LBTQ or LBTI? Christ!

“By the way, love your mask,” Neil says huskily but before I can reply, his bike takes off. Then all my jumbled wayward thoughts are immediately smashed to bits. There’s just one word to describe what I feel right then.
Exhilaration
.

The thrum of the machine beats through my body making me feel alive, wild and free. The rush I feel is so electric that I feel like roaring right along with the bike. But all too soon it stops and when it does I realize my cheeks ache. I must have grinned all the way through.

I remove my helmet and hand it over to Neil. Then I put my mask back on, just as he hooks up both our helmets to the bike. Once he’s done, Neil shoves his hand inside his jacket and pulls out a black mask. It’s only when he puts it on that I realize what it is and my jaw does a bungee jump towards the tarred road below.

Batman! 
Holy! Mother of sweet Jesus!
If Neil looked hot before, he looks positively scorching now.

“All good?” he asks me from behind the mask. I somehow manage to nod my head in spite of all giddiness fuddling up my brain.

Then Batman and I, we march towards the club.

We’re still walking shoulder to shoulder when I feel his fingers lacing through mine. My heart flips and I wonder again about why it feels so easy. Maybe he’s doing it as a protective gesture, like he did when we crossed the road the day before or maybe I’m just not used to having considerate male figures in my life. Either ways. The fact remains. Not 48 hours ago he’d been exchanging saliva and probably a whole lot else with Ms. Stiletto. How could I ever forget that? I stiffen my back.
Man up, Kari.
This will never end well.

I shrug Neil’s hand off and he looks at me in surprise.

“I can take care of myself,” I tell him.

His lips twitch in response. “Oh, I’m sure you can, little shrub.”

“You are warned!” I take my voice down a notch and point my ring at him, “I’ll tunnel your leathery knighthood right out of this galaxy!”

Neil suddenly halts in his tracks and pins me down with his eyes. “Batman vs. Green Lantern? Batman wins. Every. Single. Time.”

“Ohmygod! So not true. In the…”

He cuts me. “One word…yellow.” I stare at him with my mouth half-open.

“‘Nuff said,” he says smugly and then tugs on my hand to get me moving again. We climb the stairs to get into the shabby-looking building and I start wondering about what kind of club this really is. I know I don’t have any previous experiences to compare against but this seems very unlike the whole neon signs, brawny bouncers and long lines scenario that I’ve seen countless movies play out.

As Neil holds the door open for me, I walk in and a blast of music hits my ears. As I step further in, my feet feel the reverberations thrumming from a huge hall located right at the end of a wide corridor. When we finally enter the main hall, it feels like I’ve stepped into a punk fairyland. Crew cuts, dregs, quiffs, mohawks, braided hair in green, blonde, pink, red, blue and sometimes even black. Leather pants, bustiers, jackets, cowboy hats clash with each other in a huge sweaty mass of bodies.

I stand there at the entrance drowning in my huge overcoat, feeling like the most awkwardly dressed person in the whole room. And it’s not like what I’m wearing under the coat will make me blend right in. Right now even my mask seems way too nerdy for this crowd. These guys seem to have a more eclectic taste in costumes. From gas masks to Halloween to Mick Jagger to Guy Fawkes to Venetian, these guys really know how to wing it.

I’m still standing there gawking at all the people when all of a sudden a body thunks right into me. “Agghh!” I freeze till I realize it’s just Nalini. She’s wearing a glittery carnival mask but even with that ostentatious get up, her Betty Crocker hairstyle is kind of hard to miss.

Nalini holds me at an arms length and gives me a once over. Then she shrieks, “Look at you! Come with me quick!” She drags me by my arm and I look back at Neil with an apologetic smile. Only he’s not there. Did he just come here to drop me?! Couldn’t he wait to get his hands on Ms. Stiletto?
Christ!
Will I have to spend the rest of the evening watching them make out against some wall?! And what had he said? 
My
angel!
Asshat.

Nalini takes me to a restroom that smells strongly of cheap disinfectant. Which is actually not so bad, considering what it’ll smell like a few hours down the line. She takes my overcoat and stuffs it in one of the lockers lining the wall. Then she locks it and hands me the keys.

“What is this place?” I ask.

“It’s an abandoned school building! Josiah and some other guys have leased it out for a year. We’re already 200 member strong! Ain’t that awesome!” Nalini sounds even more exuberant than her usual self. For a second, I wonder if she’s high but then I immediately feel guilty at having judged her. Just because I am a social dead beat, didn’t give me any right to criticize others. Still I hope they didn’t have any drugs here.

“No, we don’t!” Nalini says looking stricken. Shit! Had I said that out loud?! What’s wrong with me?!

“I’m so sorry! I’m being a bitch, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” she says with a scowl and then takes a step back again. “Now what do we do to turn your bitch down? Hmm?”

I look at her in horror. “What do you mean?!”

In response, she just steps closer and starts undoing the top buttons of my silk top. I freak out and lurch away from her. “Hey! Whattda?!!”

Nalini’s shoulders slump and she gives me an exaggeratedly weary look. “Jeez! Relax! I don’t go that way and even if I did I wouldn’t hit on you! You’re too vanilla for my taste.”

“I’m not! What do you mean…too
vanilla
?!”

“Plain Jane, Jane Doe, Mary Sue? Rings a bell,
Pippi
?” she says with her hands on her hips. “Now let me do my work or do you want to spend the rest of the evening looking like a dork?”

“Alright. Sorry.” I take a grudging step towards her. “Thanks.”

“Zip the monosyllabic train, Pippi and do a Redeemer for me.”

It takes me a second to get what she means. Once I do, I stretch my hands out away from my body.

“Would it hurt if you’d just said ‘do the titanic pose for me?’”

“Yes, the slash my guts and spill my innards kind,” Nalini replies as she smiles sweetly and starts unbuttoning my shirt again. Three girls who’re dressed like Goths enter the restroom and I try to look as unfazed by what we’re doing, as they seem to be. When they finally leave, Nalini steps back with a satisfied expression and exclaims, “There!”

I turn to look in the mirror and gasp at my reflection. She’s knotted my shirt tightly in the front and as a result the amount of navel and cleavage that is on display now, is positively criminal. I’ve always been conscious of my boobs and now to practically fling them on everyone’s face?!

“I look like a slut!!” I shriek in distress. “I can’t go out looking like this!”

Nalini pushes me towards the door and I hurriedly try to cover as much of my front as I can with my long hair but I’m sure all I succeed in doing is to further accentuate the drop in-between my size D’s. Nalini steers me towards the stage where Josiah and his band are playing. We reach the front row and for a few minutes I stand there feeling self-conscious, looking furtively at Nalini and the other people, most of whom are busy jiving and head-banging to the frantic strumming of Josiah’s guitar.

After some time I realize something. Nobody cares what I look like. Nobody’s even looking at me! They’re too busy being themselves and enjoying the heck out! That’s when I decide to stop fidgeting with my hair and let myself go. And slowly the pluck of the guitar and the thrum of the drums loosens something inside me. I close my eyes and start swaying, moving, letting the music course through my veins.

When the song finally finishes I feel pumped up and euphoric.
Oh! Wow! What a high!

As I turn around, I feel the weight of someone’s eyes on me. I look around feeling wary and that’s when I notice him. He’s leaning against a pillar, watching me from the corner of the stage.
Neil.
  My body stills as my eyes lock with his. Even from behind his mask, his gaze scorches my body with a heat that fires up every cell of my being. My legs weaken and I hold on to the stage railing to prevent myself from crumpling to the floor.

Feeling anxious to put as much distance as I can between his piercing eyes and me, I quickly turn away and try to make a head-way through the crowd. Once out of the throng, I head over to the bar at the back to get some water. Maybe that’ll help me cool off a bit. When I get there, I realize all my money is stashed away in my coat in the locker.
Stupid!

Just as I’m about to turn away from the table, the bartender places a tall glass right in front of me. The glass is brimmed to the top with a flaming orange-red drink. I give him a questioning look and he points to a guy sitting at the other end of the bar. Broad shoulders and muscled arms under a fitted white shirt, this guy is not wearing a mask and he’s cute. But I’ve done enough naïve for a lifetime to be accepting drinks from strangers. He raises his glass and I smile back at him. Then I shake my head and turn to the bartender.