All of You (27 page)

These weren’t nice, quiet, ladylike tears, either. This was a loud, ugly, convulsive cry that had everyone in the upscale restaurant turning and staring.

As Kat shoved her raccoon-eyed, wet, snotty face into the white linen napkin and cried like a baby, Ben was kind enough to toss a credit card at the waiter, walk her out to his car, and go back in to sign the slip. By the time Ben slid into the driver’s seat five minutes later, Kat had managed to get a tenuous hold on herself.

He glanced over, taking in the utter emotional mess that was Kat, and sighed. “I’m thinking the opera is a bad idea tonight. Those damn things are depressing enough.” Ben smiled wryly. “I don’t want to spend the whole evening stopping you from jumping off the balcony.”

Kat sniffled into her stolen napkin. “Just take me home, Ben. I’m pretty sure I’ve tortured you enough for one night.”

“I have a better idea. Let’s get you changed out of those clothes – ‘cause, you look beautiful, but they they’ve gotta be uncomfortable as hell. And then let’s do something mindless.” Ben tapped the side of his thumb on the steering wheel thoughtfully. “How about a movie? Or bowling?”

Kat sniffled. “I love bowling, but my leg is acting up. I think I pressed my luck with these stupid shoes.” She paused, nodding slowly. “A movie actually sounds great.” Kat met Ben’s eyes. “If you’re sure. Don’t feel like you have to babysit me just because I am an irrational, emotional disaster right now. If you want to drop me off and never speak to me again, I’ll totally understand. I swear to God, I have never behaved like this in my life. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

Liar. You know exactly what…

Exactly
who.

Ben shifted into reverse. “Nah. Now that we’ve established we have zero romantic interest in each other…” Kat laughed and he grinned at her. “I think we can have a really good time together.”

Kat nodded. “Sounds wonderful, Ben. Thank you.”

And they did have a great time. One farcical buddy comedy, Burger King, and a scoop of ice cream from Baskin-Robbins later, Kat was feeling a little better. They talked, laughed, and even managed to have – like Ben had said – a bunch of mindless fun.

Although
he
was really never far from Kat’s mind. And when she was finally back at home, lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, she picked up her phone to call him a hundred times.

But she didn’t.

Because, what would have been the point?

It was better this way.

No, really…it is.

*

Danny jumped when
his cell rang.

Kat.

But when he checked out the screen, it was only Stella.

For the fourth time tonight.

Danny picked up the bottle of Absolut and poured himself another double shot. His hand was a bit unsteady at this point, so the bottom of the bottle clanked against the rim of the tumbler.

Danny lifted the glass and squinted at it. His vision was hazy, but it didn’t look cracked.

You’ll find out soon.

Hoping he didn’t end up in St. Mary’s ER, Danny put the glass to his lips, tilted it, and welcomed the smooth slide of top-notch Swedish vodka down his throat. He was too drunk to feel the burn, but the way the liquor slammed into his empty stomach and rushed to his head thrilled him to no end.

His phone chimed.

Kat.

Danny glanced down.

Nope.

Just Stella, resorting to texting because Danny hadn’t picked up all night.

Danny knew Nathan had told Stella all about his stupid, weak declaration of love and Danny was
not
looking to talk about that.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

Danny squinted at the screen.

Stella:
Hi! I’ve called a bunch of times, but, obviously, you didn’t pick up. Hot date?
>dumbass winking emoticon<

Danny rolled his eyes.

Stella:
Anyway, Christopher and Stellan wanted me to extend an invite. One of their friends took over a club downtown and they’re having the official re-opening tomorrow night. There will be a big group of us. Should be fun!

Danny’s stomach lurched and his head started spinning. Apparently, his body had decided the massive amount of vodka hadn’t been such a great idea after all.

He leaned back against the back of the couch, tilted his head back, and closed his eyes. When the spinning grew even more uncomfortable, Danny opened his eyes and started up at the ceiling.

Danny slowly righted his head and texted Stella back:
NO

A few seconds later, she texted:
Why not???

Danny texted:
U know y

About a minute later, Stella texted:
She won’t be there.

Danny texted:
Y not

Stella:
She already has plans.

“Yeah, I bet she does
,”
Danny muttered.

Danny thought about what he’d do tomorrow night. He and Nathan usually worked Saturday nights, but they’d been put on Sunday night instead this week. Which left Danny with two choices: remain drunk and alone for the next thirty-six hours or go out, get drunk, and get laid. Maybe even parlay the Saturday night lay into a Sunday morning thing, too.

Anything to fill up the hours until he absolutely had to sober up to go to work Sunday night.

Thanks to his current level of intoxication, Danny was very ineffective at ignoring the #1 reason he wanted to go hang out tomorrow night…

Because it was with Kat’s friends and Kat’s family.

He was so damned twisted up over her that even being around her family was incentive enough to drag his ass out.

Yeah, you’re not too out of your fucking mind
.

And over a woman who doesn’t even want you.

Danny texted:
Fine

Stella texted: >toothy grin emoticon<
Awesome! It will be so much fun!

Danny grunted.

Stella:
The place is called
Random Renegades
– yeah, I know. N damn near gagged when he heard it, too.
>tongue sticking out emoticon<
We’re meeting there at 10:30. Or N and I can pick you up.

Danny:
Pick me up cuz I’m getting shitfaced.

Stella:
I’m biting my tongue. About a lot of stuff. You’re welcome.
>mad face emoticon<
See you around 10 tomorrow…N says he’ll call you in the AM.

Danny:
Is it a gay bar? Don’t care…just need to mentally prep…

And make other hook-up plans.

Stella:
Nope. Gay people there, of course, but not a gay bar. Hee-hee.

Stella’s unrelenting cheerfulness and enthusiasm were nice when one was sober, but when one was obliterated, furious, and devastated, it did begin to grate.

Danny immediately felt guilty, so he texted:
Love you both…know that, right?

A minute later, she texted:
We love you, too.
>blowing kiss emoticon<
Be safe tonight. You home?

Danny:
yep

Stella:
Get some sleep. You’re gonna need your rest for serious boogying tomorrow
. >winking emoticon<

Danny grunted again.

He texted:
Strong possibility after I’m shitfaced. C u tomorrow. Bye

Stella:
Night!

Danny tossed his phone aside.

He considered drinking more, but ultimately decided – if he was still this miserable at this level of inebriation – he was probably just going to have to stay miserable, ‘cause any more vodka and he’d be passing the fuck out.

Which, now that he thought about it, might be the best possible scenario.

Danny poured one last doozy of a shot and pounded it before curling up on his side and waiting for sweet relief that never came.

‡

T
he only places
Kat hated more than bars were nightclubs. At least in bars, people typically kept to themselves. They sat up at the bar, at tables, or in corner booths – drinking, talking, and hanging with the people they’d come with. Kat had always found them to be sad, desperate sorts of places, but not particularly uncomfortable or unsettling.

Nightclubs, however, were an entirely different animal. Kat hadn’t gone to many, but the ones she had been dragged to had all been all the same: dark (except for the dizzying strobe lights and blinding reflections of disco balls, of course), loud, steamy rooms full of silly, drunk people whose sole purpose in being there was to find other silly drunk people to scream with and grind up on.

No judgment, because Kat couldn’t have cared less what other people did in their free time, but it definitely wasn’t her cup of tea. She’d take a book and an actual cup of tea over that crap any day.

Unfortunately, Stella had cornered Kat this morning and browbeaten her about joining the family at
Random Renegades
tonight. Exhausted from lying awake all night and heartsick about everything that had gone down with Danny, Kat had been an easy mark. Three phone calls, ten texts, and a pop-by later, Kat had finally agreed.

But only after Stella had inadvertently answered the most important question on Kat’s mind.

In her zealous quest to gain Kat’s acceptance, Stella had rattled off a laundry list of everyone going: Christopher, Stellan, Gigi, Marco, Nina, Carla, Stella, Nathan, a few nurses from the hospital where she worked, some cops Nina worked with, and – if she agreed – Kat.

Naturally, Kat couldn’t come right out and ask about Danny, but she had beaten around that bush a little, asking Stella, more than once, if anyone else was going.

At which point, Stella had gotten quiet and asked, “Why? Is there someone you’re hoping will be there?”

Well, that had shut Kat up right quick. She’d agreed to go, shoved Stella out of her apartment, and spent rest of the day wondering what Danny was doing.

Or, worse yet, what he’d be doing tonight.

And
who
he’d be doing it with.

A few hours later and there they were: Marco, Gigi, and Kat slowly winding their way through teems of those silly, drunken folks Kat adored. The strobe lights were flashing, the disco ball was turning, and Lady Gaga was seriously impairing some cochlear functioning.

“I see them!” Marco yelled, over his shoulder, grinning. He turned back and waved to whomever it was he’d spotted.

Gigi said something to Kat, but Kat couldn’t hear her. She cupped her hand around her ear and leaned into Gigi. “
What?
”

Gigi lowered her lips to Kat’s ear and yelled, “
I have a headache already!
”

Kat yelled back, “
You and me both, babe! Might have to make this quick one tonight!
”

Gigi nodded in agreement as they continued following Marco.

Marco parted one more mass of half-dressed women and leering men to reveal everyone sitting at a few tables that had been pushed together.

And Kat’s heart and stomach simultaneously plummeted into her silver-sequined Converse as she took in the scene before her…

She saw:

Christopher and Stellan, grinning and waving excitedly at them.

Several nurses Kat recognized from Stella’s baby shower.

A handful of stiff-looking dudes, who Kat could only assume were some Collinwood cops Nina worked with.

Nina shooting the shit with the stiff-looking dudes.

Carla smiling warmly.

Stella jumping up to greet them.

Nathan dropping his shaking head into his hand.

Oh, and
Danny
.

He gaped at Kat and then glared at Nathan, whose head was still shaking and whose face was still planted firmly in his hand.

“Hi, guys!” Stella yelled. She gave Marco and Gigi quick hugs, but when she turned to Kat, she paused.

And then Kat
knew
.

That Stella knew.

Stella was the world’s worst faker and the half-guilty, half-deliriously happy expression of her face told the entire story in a split second.