All Or Nothing (10 page)

Had Dee-Dee bothered to look behind her, she might have seen Mario following closely behind her. The dark shades and baseball cap he wore would have fooled no one, least of all Dee-Dee.

A few weeks later, the restraining order had done little or nothing to curtail Mario’s stalking. He still spied on Dee-Dee whenever he felt like it. In fact, his stalking had increased since he was forbidden to make contact with her by phone or come within five hundred feet of her. It was safe to say that all the restraining order did was piss him off.

From his car, Mario watched the apartment with earnest. He took note of all the movement inside. He watched the silhouettes as they passed by the windows and the switching off and on of the lights whenever someone entered or left a room. Mario paid attention to all that and then some. He sat in his car watching and waiting for his turn to strike.

The hot water from the shower was almost scalding hot. When Shantell opened the door she was greeted by a thick cloud of steam. She knew Dee-Dee liked hot showers, but this was ridiculous. She could barely see the shower curtain in front of her.

“Dee-Dee! Dee-Dee!” She called out. “Let me hold the keys to your car so I can drop Jordan off at the baby sitter. You hear me?”

Shantell stood there for a few seconds, waiting for a reply, but none came. Finally, she pulled the shower curtain back and violated Dee-Dee’s privacy.

Dee-Dee jumped at the sudden sight of Shantell. Quickly she got into a fighting stance. Her nerves had been shot for the past few weeks, ever since Mario got served with his restraining order. Lord only knew where he was going to pop up next.

“Oh shit!” Dee-Dee exclaimed. “You scared the shit outta me.”

“You didn’t hear me calling out yo’ name?” Shantell explained. “I need yo’ keys real quick. I gotta go drop the baby off.”

“My keys are on the dresser in my room. They right beside my purse.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Shantell shouted.

When the shower curtain closed, Dee-Dee went right back to meditating. The hot water soothed her, causing DeeDee to fall back into a deep state of relaxation. She was zoned out. For the moment, Mario didn’t exist.

With all the noise that the shower made, Dee-Dee never heard the apartment door open. She was lost in her thoughts.

Mario must’ve gone over his plan in his head a thousand times. He had it all figured out. He would break in the apartment and talk to Dee-Dee while her friend wasn’t around. He didn’t need any outside interference; this was between her and him. If only he could just talk to her, face to face, surely she would drop the restraining order and take him back.

Undetected Mario silently crept through the house. He already watched Shantell and the baby leave the house so he knew that the apartment was empty, with the exception of DeeDee.

The loud sounds of running water alerted Mario to DeeDee’s whereabouts. Slowly he inched his way towards the bathroom door. He was extra careful not to make any unnecessary noise. Mario took small, calculated steps until he reached his destination. As he placed his ear to the door, suddenly the shower water stopped running. Mario backed away from the door and pressed his body flat up against the wall.

Inside the bathroom, Dee-Dee was oblivious to Mario’s presence. She continued to tend to her personal hygiene. She applied lotions and deodorant to her body. Dee-Dee even hummed a few songs. For the moment, she was carefree. Soon all that would change.

Dee-Dee wrapped her body in a big fluffy white towel, covering her private parts, then she exited the bathroom. Mario remained motionless as she stepped into the hallway. Then, without warning, Mario sprung out of the shadows.

As soon as he grabbed her arm, Dee-Dee literally jumped. She placed one hand on her heart and paused. Slowly she turned around. Dee-Dee prayed this was Shantell playing around with her. The firmness of the mysterious person’s grip told her otherwise.

“Mario?” she spat. “How you get in here?” Dee-Dee was so frightened that was all she could manage to say at the moment. She was paralyzed by fear.

Mario grabbed Dee-Dee by her arms and slammed her hard up against the wall. He put his face within a fraction of an inch from her face. He spoke through clenched teeth, further emphasizing his anger.

“Don’t worry about how I got in here. I got my ways,” he warned. “You think some fucking piece of paper is going to stop me? Why you do me like that? Huh? You didn’t have to involve the police in our business.”

Dee-Dee was in no position to debate with Mario; that might only infuriate him. Wisely she closed her mouth and listened to him rant and rave.

He continued, “That’s that bullshit, bitch! You acting real funny lately. You not answering yo’ phone. You put The Man on me. What I do to deserve that? Huh? All I did was loved you, with your ungrateful ass.”

Suddenly Mario removed a black semi-automatic pistol from his waistband. He pressed the barrel of the gun to DeeDee’s temple. As he spoke, he jabbed her harder and harder with the gun, as if to emphasize a point.

By this time Dee-Dee began to fear for her life. She didn’t know what was coming next. If Mario followed his recent pattern of violence, then she was a dead woman. DeeDee decided she wasn’t about to wait around. If she was going to die, then she wasn’t going down without a fight.

Without warning, Dee-Dee kneed Mario hard in his nuts. Simultaneously, as pain raced through Mario’s body and he began to double over in pain, he accidentally pulled the trigger of his gun. A loud shot rang out, the sound echoed inside Mario’s head and Dee-Dee slumped to the floor. She died instantly.

Mario looked down at his bloodied lover. He was horrified at what he had just done. He was overcome by a sickening feeling. Sure Mario threatened to kill Dee-Dee,, but there was no way he would have carried it out. He only wanted to talk to her and maybe scare her with the gun. He never imagined something like this would happen.

Mario’s mind began to race with mass confusion. He didn’t know what he was going to do now; all he knew was he was in deep trouble. Quickly Mario weighted his options before he suddenly realized that his options weren’t options at all. There were only two ways out of the situation. Faced with a stiff prison sentence that Mario knew he couldn’t do, Mario put the gun to his temple and blew out his brains. He figured he would be with Dee-Dee in death, just as he had in life.

A dizzying blur of red and blue lights blinded Shantell. The large police squad alerted her that something was very wrong. She wondered what the hell had happened at her apartment building. She was only gone twenty minutes and when she returned, half of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg police department was in her apartment complex.

As Shantell moved closer to her building, her progress was halted by the police.

“Ma’am, you can’t go any further. This area is a crime scene, subject to a thorough police investigation,” the officer informed her.

“Look, I don’t care nothing about that. I live here, Officer,” Shantell said. “I just wanna get inside my apartment.”

“Ma’am, look, I don’t think you understand exactly what’s going on here. This building has been the scene of what is believed to be a double homicide. No unauthorized personnel will be granted access.”

As Shantell and the officer went back and forth, exchanging words, two people from the county coroner’s office wheeled a black body bag by on a gurney. Finally, it hit Shantell that somebody had died in her building. She suddenly stopped talking.

“Excuse me, Officer, what apartment did that happen in?”

“Miss, I’m not at liberty to give out that information.” The officer told her. “Why? What apartment do you live in?”

“Apartment L.”

“Miss, would you please follow me?”

Shantell was taken to a squad car and told of the murdersuicide involving Dee-Dee and Mario. After that, she was questioned extensively about her and the deceased’s relationship. As she underwent questioning, her thoughts and prayers were with Dee-Dee, the person who had been snatched out of her life. Shantell was stunned by the news and yet she was relieved at the same time. Shantell was glad that neither she nor her baby was present in that house, or else they might be dead, too.

A light drizzle began to fall on Shantell’s windshield as she slowly drove toward the funeral home. Immediately, she turned on the windshield wiper, which made a loud squeaky noise. She ignored it. She wondered if the rain was a sign from God. Her friend’s sudden murder had her feeling real spiritual lately. She took the shift in weather as a sign from God. To her, it was as if the heavens were weeping for Dee-Dee.

Dee-Dee was a special friend to Shantell. She was one of those rare people that put the well being of others first. For that, Shantell would always be eternally grateful. Dee-Dee helped out with Jordan as if she were her own. She made life a whole lot easier for Shantell.

As Shantell drove down Beatties Ford road, she began struggling with her emotions. Tears began to flow freely down her cheeks, slightly ruining her makeup. She pulled over to gather her senses; she didn’t want the other people at the funeral home to see her like that. Her grieving was private, but none the less painful.

Dressed in all black, Shantell slipped into the funeral home almost unnoticed. The funeral service had just started so all eyes were glued to the casket. Quietly, Shantell took one of the few empty seats in the back. She sat amongst the dozens of mourners who flocked to King’s Funeral Home to pay their last respects. Some people were there to honor a person they never knew. News of Dee-Dee’s death sent shock waves through the stripping community, but it didn’t cause any strippers to quit their jobs. They all knew that dealing with crazy niggers was a hazard of the job. Sex, money and murder sometimes came with the territory. Still, no dancer in their right mind wanted to meet a violent end to their life like Dee-Dee had. They all came to pay their respects.

The street element was in full effect at the funeral home. Though there were people from all walks of life in attendance, the strippers and thugs seemed to stand out the most. Some were inappropriately dressed, which called attention to them. The guys didn’t have the proper dress clothes; some were dressed as if the were going to an after party after the funeral service. Many of the strippers had on tight, revealing clothes, totally out of place for this sober event. As Shantell sat in the back, she scanned the crowd and took notes of all this.

“…May this child’s death be a reminder to everyone here today, of just how sacred life is. Young people get it together. Y’all out there, in the streets, killing one another for no reason at all. Get right! Get right with God before it’s too late,” the preacher said.

Shantell listened to the preacher’s eulogy and was momentarily moved. She conceded that at the time of her death, Dee-Dee wasn’t living right. But surely heaven would look past that and forgive her.

Outside the church, after the funeral service was over, people began to gather in small groups to both mourn and socialize. Shantell would have none of that;, she waved and kept it moving. As she walked to her car, she thought it was a Goddamn shame that more than half the people at the funeral wouldn’t even remember Dee-Dee this time next year. Shantell promised herself she would. There was no doubt in her mind.

Shantell was still reeling from Dee-Dee’s death, weeks and months after it actually happened. Not only was it hard to believe her friend was gone, but it was hard to accept. Dee-Dee had become such a big part of Shantell and her daughter’s life that there was no way to replace her.

If nothing else, Shantell had plenty of experience dealing with tragedy. Just like she had before, she would, in time, get

over Dee-Dee’s death. Somehow, some way, she had to. Shantell was a survivor; she had no choice.

Different strokes
for different folks

“Good morning, babe,” Lisa whispered.

“Hey,” Shantell replied, as she rolled over in the bed.

Gazing at her new lover, Shantell suddenly became mushy. She was attracted to Lisa in every way possible, but she wasn’t alone. Lisa was so fine that she had that effect on men, too.

Before either one of them knew it, their lips locked and their tongues intertwined for a long passionate kiss. The enjoyment Shantell received just from the kiss sent chills up her spine. A man had never made her feel quite this good. Never.

Truth be told, she had never given any man much of a chance to. After the rape she felt totally different about the opposite sex. No male sex partner she had been intimate with, thus far, ever rocked her world. In fact the only time she, had ever felt like this, was when she was with Brandy. And now she had Lisa someone who really loved her.

These two had met at the strip club. Lisa was a stripper from out of town, Columbia, South Carolina. Since she wasn’t from Charlotte, it was easier to vibe with her. Their relationship started off quite innocently; Shantell talked and Lisa listened. Shantell had no idea that Lisa was a lesbian.

It was relatively easy for Lisa to win over Shantell. With Dee-Dee dead and gone, she was very vulnerable. The truth of the matter was that if her friend was alive, then there was no way this relationship would have had room to grow. Dee-Dee

wouldn’t have let Shantell entertain the idea of being with a lesbian, because she was strictly dickly herself. She wouldn’t have stood for it at all.

That was then, this was now. For poor Shantell, it was times hard to imagine just how it all happened. Time and time again, she tried to fight the feeling. She tried to wish away the attraction she had for Lisa, but she couldn’t. She often wondered how and why did she feel the way she felt.

Her search for answers pointed directly to those reoccurring bouts with loneliness and depression. Her raw, uncontrolled emotions had once again cast questions about Shantell’s sexuality and put it to the test.

A long time ago, the disgusted notion that one use to conjure up whenever one thought about lesbians, didn’t apply now. Nowadays, that was the in thing. Lesbians had come from behind closed doors to Main Street, USA.