All Or Nothing (7 page)

For the rest of the night, Dee-Dee and Shantell barely left each other’s sight. They were inseparable. If one fought, then they both were going to fight. From then on, that’s the way it was going to be.

Finally it was time for Club Champagne to close. Shantell and Dee-Dee expected trouble but none came their way. The other strippers must have done a background check on them. Though Charlotte was a big city, it still retained that small-town feel. Here, everybody knew everybody.

Once the strippers found out who she was and more importantly, where Shantell was from, they didn’t mess with her. Suddenly they had a newfound respect for her. She came from the projects, Piedmont Courts, a place of struggle. They figured she had to be wild and she wasn’t the one to fuck with, at least not if they didn’t want to suffer the consequences.

Before the club emptied out, Shantell and Dee-Dee exited with a mixture of strippers and customers. Both the strippers and customers actively solicited sexual favors for money. Even Shantell was approached by an ultra-aggressive patron.

“What’s up, Shawty?” he asked. “I’m trying to do a few things. What’s good with you? I’m saying, what a li’l head gonna cost me?”

The average chick might have been offended by this statement. Shantell wasn’t the average chick or the average stripper, for that matter. The name of the game for her was survival. Shantell’s main objective was clear: she was here to make money. She wasn’t passing up a dollar.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Shantell accepted the man’s invitation, then they negotiated a price for some oral sex. When that was done, they went back to his car to commit the act.

After the money was exchanged, Shantell got into the car and immediately grabbed the man’s crotch, just to see what he was working with. Judging from the handful of dick she gripped, the man was holding. Shantell began stroking the man’s dick until it was fully erect.

“Lean back,” she commanded. “Relax.”

Shantell ripped open his zipper and reached inside to produce his penis. Instantly, she went down on the man. Shantell began to tease him, licking the head of his dick with the tip of her tongue. The man began to moan with pleasure; the noises he emitted only made Shantell work harder to please him. She began to take the man deeper and deeper into her mouth till his dick was touching the back of her throat. Now his dick was completely coated with saliva.

Shantell looked up at the guy, making eye contact as she sucked his dick. This turned the guy on even more.

“Yeah, suck that dick, bitch,” he spat. “That shit feels so fucking good!”

Just the sight of a chick so fine sucking his dick, damn near bought him to a climax. He continued to watch as Shantell ran circles around his dick with her tongue. Suddenly Shantell brought her hands into play. She began to jerk him off and suck him off simultaneously. This really seemed to do the trick.

“Damn girl, I’m about to cum.”

Shantell pulled her face away from the man’s dick. For the man to cum in her mouth would cost him extra. If he didn’t know it, he soon would.

“Damn why you stop?” he questioned. “I was just about to bust a nut.”

“You can’t cum in my mouth for free,” Shantell stated. “You gotta pay extra for that.”

The man reached into his pocket and tossed Shantell a twenty-dollar bill. That seemed to bridge the communication gap, and Shantell went back to business. She brought the man right back to the point of pleasure he had experienced previously; only this time, she didn’t stop. In no time the man began to climax. Shantell continued to suck his dick with a vengeance as he came in her mouth.

When the man was done, Shantell opened the car door and spit a glob of semen onto the ground. Then she walked off as nothing ever happened. It was all in a day’s work.

From a safe distance, Dee-Dee watched her friend’s back. Initially she thought that it was a bad idea. Dee-Dee was cautious without coming across as scared. Still, she didn’t judge Shantell on her act. She knew her situation. Shantell had to do what she had to do. Dee-Dee just wasn’t ready to put herself out there like that.

That night, both Shantell and Dee-Dee would get a glimpse of their collective futures, money and men.

It ain’t all good

On her day off Shantell decided to take her daughter Jordan to the park.

“Peek-a-boo, I see you,” Shantell said.

“Pee-boo,” Jordan said in baby talk. “c u.”

Jordan was a bright kid, who caught on quick. Pattycake and Peek-a-boo were two of her favorite games. She loved playing rhyming and sing a long games with her mother. Shantell could relate easily to her daughter because she was a kid at heart. Anyone who was lucky enough to view moments like these could tell that these two shared an intense bond.

“Boo!” Shantell yelled.

In reaction to her mother’s playfulness, Jordan tried to hide her face behind her small hands. But she didn’t do a very good job. Shantell gazed into her daughter’s eye lovingly. She tried to time her, so she would catch her with her face exposed. But as she stared at Jordan, she forgot that they were even playing a game.

Jordan beat her to the punch.

“Pee-boo. I see u mommy!” She exclaimed happily. “I vin.”

Shantell broke out into a toothy smile as her daughter ran up to her and hugged her. Shantell bent down and picked her up, placing Jordan on the bench.

Sitting side by side, Shantell and her daughter bore a striking resemblance. That fact warmed Shantell’s heart. Jordan was her everything, her reason for being. A feeling of complete ness washed over her. She didn’t look at her child as a burden; instead she viewed Jordan as a blessing. In a life full of horrible wrongs, Jordan was the lone bright spot.

“Play Patty cake mommy.” Jordan playful screamed.

“Patty cake, Patty cake,” Shantell chimed. “Make a cake, put in da oven and watch it bake...”

Shantell lived vicariously through he daughter. She relived her days of youth and innocence, which were gone. She vowed to keep her daughter carefree. She wanted Jordan to be a child for a long as possible. If she did her job as a parent well then she would insulate her daughter from the street life. And shelter her from all harm.

At Three years old Jordan’s mind was sharp as a whip. She played right along with her mother. Through constant repetition, Jordan picked up the nursery rhymes.

Suddenly in the middle of the game, Jordan stopped and pointed to something.

“Mommy. Swing. Swing,” She suddenly said. “C’mon!”

Soon as the words were out her mouth, she took off running, as fast as her little legs would carry her. Shantell was right behind her, in hot pursuit. Sounds of loud laughter and giggles filled the air. Though the park was packed to capacity, with parents and children, trying to catch one of the last few warm days, one would have thought this was their own private little play ground. Shantell and Jordan were in their own world. They showed no interest in socializing with anyone else but each other.

“Wee, mommy!” Jordan called out.

Shantell watched over and over again, as her child slide down the giant blue slide. It seemed like Jordan was really enjoy herself.”

“Ooooh, look at you.” Shantell commented. “You such a big girl, Jordan.”

One good thing that came out of being a teenage mother was, Shantell was able to physically play with her daughter for countless hours at time. These were her child’s formative years,

Shantell was sure she would remember this later in life. She was laying the groundwork for a bond that would last a lifetime.

As afternoon turned to evening, the park began to thin out. Thus bringing and end to their fun filled day. Shantell and Jordan relaxed on the park bench taking in the sights and sounds. While sitting on the park bench, a pair of joggers slowly came into view.

“C’mon ma,” The woman yelled. “One more lap.”

As they passed, Shantell stared at the woman and her daughter enviously. Seeing mother and daughter together triggered something in her. Suddenly she began to wonder about her own mother. She wondered exactly what she was up to. It had been months since they had last seen each other. Now Shantell felt it was time to seek her mother out.

On any given day the feelings Shantell had for her mother fluctuated. Sometimes she hated her and sometimes she loved her dearly. Shantell was on an emotional roller coast.

Shantell arrived at her apartment complex just as dusk had settled over the city of Charlotte. After parking her car, she walked towards her apartment, with Jordan in tow. Opening the door, she found her housemate Dee-Dee, in the kitchen frying some chicken for dinner.

“Hey, Jay!” Dee-Dee happily hollered.

Jordan ran over to Dee-Dee and affectionately hugged her leg. In response Dee-Dee bent over and picked her up. She was as excited to see the baby, as Jordan was to see her.

Shantell couldn’t help but be touched by this scene. This was one of the many reasons she loved Dee-Dee so much. DeeDee showed Jordan so much love and affection. How couldn’t she love her?

“Damn, it smells good in here.” Shantell stated. “Girl, what else you cookin’ besides that chicken?” Shantell could see a few other pots on the stove. Since the aroma from the chicken was so strong, it overrode the other scents.

Dee-Dee replied, “I got some yellow rice, collard greens, and Mac and cheese. And some grape kool-aid in the frig.”

“Damn. That sound good.’ Shantell thought to herself.

“Dee could you fix Jordan sumthin’ ta eat?” She asked. “I gotta go somewhere?”

“Where you off too?” Dee-Dee inquired. “Why don’t you wait a minute, dinner is almost ready. What’s so important?”

“I’m gonna go see ‘bout my mother.” She announced. “I gotta funny feeling.”

Dee-Dee was well aware of Shantell and her mother’s volatile relationship. One night Shantell had broke down and told her everything. Shantell and Dee-Dee had talked deeply about their personal struggles. Shantell had made her ill feelings for her mother no secret. Now Dee-Dee wondered what bought about the sudden change. Still she felt it wasn’t her place to question it.

“Alright.” Dee-Dee said. “Be careful.”

Shantell exited the apartment knowing her daughter was in good hands. She got into her car and jumped on highway 77 headed towards her old stomping grounds, Piedmont courts. .

Arriving at the projects, Shantell quickly noticed nothing had changed. The same drug dealers were out pedaling their wares. Basically the same people who were messed up when she left, almost a year ago, were still messed up. The more things had changed the more they had stayed the same. It was almost like to make it in life one had to leave the hood. But some people refused to, they were born in the projects, their children were born in the projects and possibly their children’s children would be. .

Navigating her way through the concrete jungle, Shantell saw a few familiar faces, she stopped and said her hello’s and went about her business. She didn’t give anybody much time to get in her business. She wasn’t there for that.

Approaching her mother’s apartment, she suddenly began to have second thoughts. ‘Why am I here?’ She mused. ‘I should just turn back around and go home. Ain’t nuttin’ for me here no more.’

Quickly, Shantell pushed all those negative thoughts from her mind. She came to her senses. In her heart she knew, that regardless of what transpired in that house, that woman whom she had little or no respect for was still her mother. She was family and she couldn’t disown her so easily. They had a history together, good or bad it couldn’t be erased from her memory.

Shantell reached the back door, knocked loudly twice and waited for someone to answer the door. Then she did it again. From the outside, she could clearly hear people scrambling around inside. Soon she heard the sounds of footsteps coming towards the door.

“Wwwhhhooo!” Someone yelled. “Who da fuck knockin’ on da door like they the police?”

A puzzled expression spread across Shantell’s face. She wondered who was inside her mother’s house and exactly what were they doing there.

Without a moment’s hesitation, the door flew open. Shantell stood face to face with a pint-sized drug dealer. One look at him and she knew what was going on. Her former home had been turned into a full fledged crack house.

The kid didn’t recognize Shantell, he thought she was a customer in search of some product. One thing he knew about drug users they came in all sizes shapes and colors. So he didn’t question her appearance at the back door. As a matter of fact, he hoped she was indeed a smoker, as good as she looked, he planned on turning a trick with her.

“What’s up? How many you want?” He asked.

At that point Shantell lost it. She couldn’t believe this young kid was treating her like a fiend in her own house. “What?!” She yelled. “Motherfucker I don’t do drugs. So take ya little rocks and shove ‘em up ya ass. Now, where the hell is my mother Brenda?”

It was then that the money hungry kid knew he made a serious mistake.

While he stood in the door way looking defiantly at Shantell, she suddenly pushed passed him. Entering her mother’s house she was about to see, first hand, how her living conditions went from bad to worst.

“Ma.” She called out.

“She ain’t here.” The youngster answered.

“Where da fuck she at? Huh?” She screamed.

Rather than deal with Shantell’s nasty attitude the young dealer fled the house. He decided to come back when she was gone.

The farther Shantell walked into the house the more disgusted she became. Rodents could be seen darting around the kitchen. Garbage overflowed in the trash can causing. A foul odor . All her mother’s living room furniture was gone, replaced by a bunch of milk crates. The apartment was so empty her voice echoed off the walls.

Suddenly two crackheads, a man and a woman, scurried down the stairs; they smelled just as bad as they looked.

“Hi.” They seemed to say in unison.

Shantell just shot them the evil eye; her look conveyed exactly how she felt. The blood in her veins was boiling, she felt like hurting somebody. Then she realized that her anger was misappropriated at the wrong people. They only did what her drug addicted mother allowed them to do.