All Or Nothing (3 page)

All eyes were on Wanda. They watched as she went into her kitchen cabinet and removed a clear glass bowl object from the top shelf. Unbeknownst to Brenda, her friends had gotten caught up in the recent drug craze. The project environment had succeeded in stripping them of all their morals and principles. Once upon a time, they wouldn’t be caught dead getting high. Not now. Their attitudes had suddenly changed with use of the drugs. To them, getting a little high now and then was acceptable. Every person had a vice; this was theirs.

“Let me take a hit first,” Annie begged.

Wanda fired back, “No, bitch! Stop being greedy and show some hospitality. Let Brenda go first.”

Wanda carefully placed a small, whitish-looking object atop the crack pipe’s stem, then she gently nudged it towards her friend Brenda. Brenda looked at the blackened glass crack pipe in bewilderment. She was unsure of exactly what to say or do. All Brenda knew was that she couldn’t disappoint her friends.

Either it was the liquor or the absence of good judgment that led Brenda to take her first hit. Wanda passed her a lighter and she proceeded to set the drug ablaze.

Light crackles could be heard as the heat disintegrated the crack cocaine. Quickly clouds of smoke began to fill the bowl as Brenda began to pull lightly on the stem. In seconds, the drug filled her lungs. In an instant, the drug raced through Brenda’s body, clouding her thoughts.

From her first hit of crack cocaine, Brenda was hooked. Never in her life had she ever experienced a sensation like this, not even during sex. Brenda continued to suck on that glass dick all night long. By the time she did go home, she didn’t have a dollar to her name.

From that point on, Brenda Bryant was never again the same. Her experiment with drugs would later blow up in her face. She began a slow descent into the murky world of drugs from which she would never fully recover.

At first, Brenda was able to control her craving for crack. She simply would lose herself in her work or her two children. Her daughter Shantell and her son Reggie began to play a greater role in her life.

For a time, Brenda even turned to religion to rid herself of those crack demons. At the suggestion of a family member she became a devout Jehovah’s Witness. She immersed herself in religion. Becoming a Witness required Brenda to do some field service, which consisted of her canvassing various neighborhoods, going door to door to recruit new members. She also gave away copies of the Witness’ weekly publication, The Watchtower.

It was early one Saturday morning when Brenda was preparing to go out and do her field service. Looking in the mirror, she inspected her modest articles of clothing: a dark blue wool overcoat, a white blouse and long blue skirt. Satisfied that she met the Kingdom Hall’s strict dress code requirements, Brenda grabbed her purse and began to exit her bedroom.

“Mommy, can I go with you?” Shantell begged. “Please!”

Since the weather was a little chilly that morning, Brenda had decided to leave her two children at home. The younger of her children, Shantell, was still nursing a severe cold and her older brother Reggie showed symptoms of coming down with one. Usually Brenda would drag them along with her, but not this day.

“Sorry, baby, I can’t take you with me today. When you get better, you can come.”

“Mommy, I’m alright. I feel good,” Shantell countered. “There’s nothing wrong with me no more. My cold is all gone.”

Look, I don’t care what you say. I’m your mother, and what I say, goes,” Brenda reiterated. “Next time.”

Brenda went to her son’s bedroom. She found him playing video games on the television.

“Reggie, look after your sister. I’m getting ready to go now. I’ll be back in a few hours, Jehovah willing.”

“Why I always gotta watch her? Can’t you take her with you?” Reggie complained.

“No, I can’t take her with me,” Brenda barked. “You watching her because I said so.”

“Shoot, I’m sick of this house. I wanna go back to live with my father,” he fired back. “Every time I turn around, I gotta baby-sit. I’m getting tired of that. All you do is run down to the Kingdom Hall and do field service. You do all the praying in the world and that still ain’t getting us nowhere. We still right here in the projects.”

By anyone’s standards Reggie was a problem child, or the black sheep of the family. He stayed in trouble constantly. Reggie had been rebellious before, during and after Brenda’s religious conversion. Reggie had one hell of a mouth on him. Brenda always said her son was Fourteen going on forty.

At that point Brenda could have slapped her son’s head off, she was that mad. Suddenly she remembered her religious beliefs and that seemed to quell her anger.

Shantell stood in the hallway, listening to her mother and older brother go at it. They exchanged heated words back and forth. It was as if Shantell wasn’t even there. She couldn’t help but feel that their argument was over her. Their conversation made her feel unwanted.

“Shut up!” Brenda commanded. “I don’t wanna hear another doggone word come out your mouth. All that talk is devilment.”

Reggie sucked his teeth and went back to playing his video game. Quietly, his mother backed out of the room. She went downstairs with Shantell following close behind.

As Brenda reached the front door, she turned back toward her daughter. She scooped Shantell up in her arms and embraced her.

“I’ll see you later,” Brenda said. “Be good for Mommy. Don’t give your brother no trouble, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy,” Shantell replied. “I won’t.”

Reggie stood at the top of the stairs looking down at the scene and it made him furious. This was the stuff he was talking about. He always felt that his sister, Shantell, got preferential treatment. He thought that his sister was his mother’s favorite child. To him, it seemed like he could do no right in her eyes. Reggie felt like an outsider in his own family. He went back to his room, feeling miserable.

“Bye.” Brenda said, as she closed the door behind her.

A small tear ran down Shantell’s cheek. She hated being at home alone with her brother. All he did was boss her around and pick on her. She never could understand why he would do this to her. After all, Shantell never did anything to him; nothing to deserve this kind of treatment. Reggie was just mean and nasty toward her for no reason other than he could.

Shantell decided to stir clear of her brother. She would simply stay in her room, till her mother returned home. That

was her best bet if she wanted to avoid Reggie’s wrath. Her brother was a tyrant when no one was around.

Silently she crept upstairs undetected. Closing her room door, she busied herself playing a game of jacks. The game of jacks was a childhood favorite of Shantell’s. It allowed her to play with other people or by herself; usually, it was the later. The game didn’t require much to play, just a small, bouncy ball, ten metal jacks, a smooth surface, and good timing.

Shantell was totally engrossed in the game. She played it over and over again and never seemed to get tired. It was fun to her. Playing jacks alone in her room by herself beat dealing with her brother any day.

“Yeah, I won.” Shantell cried.

As the morning wore on, Shantell began to physically tire. She decided to take a nap. Hopefully, when she awoke her mother would be home and all her problems would be solved. The minute her head touched the pillow, she was asleep. When Shantell slept, she was hard to wake.

The absence of noise in the house made Reggie suspicious. He had already shut off his play station video game system. He wished he had some new games because he was tired of playing the ones he had. He got up and began to creep around the house.

He went straight to his sister’s room. He wanted to see exactly what she was doing. Maybe he would mess with her, since he had nothing better to do.

Reggie and Shantell were half brother and sister; they had the same mother but different fathers. To him, half of a sister was like no sister at all. Shantell was fair game. She was subject to whatever twisted scenario he thought up.

Both of their dads were deadbeats, good for nothing, although Reggie’s father was a little bit better than Shantell’s. Though he hadn’t come around since his son was a baby, at least He did send financial support from time to time. When the money came, Brenda divided it between both of her kids. She

took care of both Reggie and Shantell the best way she could, even if that meant robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Quietly, Reggie stuck his head through her bedroom door. He was surprised to find Shantell asleep. Immediately, Reggie’s devious mind went to work. Forever the prankster, Reggie thought about giving his sister a hot foot. He laughed to himself as he envisioned her jumping out of bed with her toes on fire, then he dismiss the idea. Reggie remembered he had already done that. Over the years he had really done some cruel things to Shantell. A devilish thought crept into Reggie’s mind. Now he was about to outdo himself. What he was about to do was to commit a crime against humanity.

Shantell rested peacefully on her twin bed, sound asleep on her back. There was no way in the world she could have been aware of what was about to happen next.

There were more than a few incidents that led up this dastardly deed. Reggie had inappropriately touched her on several occasions. He even burst into the bathroom while she was in the shower once. Shantell’s innocence prevented her from correctly assessing the situation. Letting him get away with this would prove to be the biggest mistake of her life.

Carefully Reggie climbed atop Shantell. He was cautious not to put his entire body weight on her. Shantell didn’t move a muscle, she was sound asleep. With one hand he pinned both her arms above her head and to the bed. With the other hand, he clawed at her pajama bottom.

Now Shantell was wide awake. There was a confused look in her eyes as she looked up at her brother. She wondered what he was doing. Reggie had done some crazy things in the past, but he had never played with her like this.

“Get off me!” She yelled. “What you doing? I’m telling Mommy.”

Only a divine act of intervention would save Shantell from this beastly act. She would never need her mother more in her life than she needed her now.

Shantell’s cries for help would go unanswered. Her brother had a wild look in his eye, as if he was if were high, but he wasn’t. He was just evil. He was just determined to violate her. He didn’t give a fuck about her and this was his way of showing it.

“Shut the fuck up!” He barked through clenched teeth. “Shut up, bitch, ‘fore I kill you.”

Shantell didn’t listen to him. She kept on screaming.

Suddenly Reggie stopped right in the middle of his act, wrapped both of his hands around Shantell’s neck, and began choking her. Desperately, she tried to fight him off. She feared that he would make good on his promise and kill her. Her blows had little or no effect on Reggie. He continued to strangle her.

Shantell’s face turned beet red from lack of oxygen. She began to lose consciousness. Just as she did so, Reggie came to his senses and released his grip. He had succeeded in taking all the fight out of his sister. She coughed and choked repeatedly, trying to fill her lungs with air.

With Shantell rendered defenseless, Reggie began to have his way with her. He pulled her pants and panties off, and then he tried to insert his penis inside of her vagina.

Shantell’s vagina was tighter than that of any girl Reggie’s age; after all, she was still a child. Still, Reggie was determined to penetrate her. He didn’t feel a bit of remorse, either. After several failed attempts, he finally succeeded in reaching his goal. Reggie humped his young sister with reckless abandon.

Reggie’s sexual invasion of his sister’s body was an unbearable moment for Shantell. Her young body was suddenly filled with excruciating pain. She cried out as if she were mortally wounded.

Shantell’s cries of pain only excited him. Her pain bought him joy. Within minutes it was over and Reggie had ejaculated inside her. He picked himself up and fastened his pants.

Shantell just lay there, momentarily frozen. The blank stare in her eyes suggested she was in a different place. This was an outer-body experience.

“Get yo’ ass up, girl, and get in the shower,” Reggie ordered. “Hurry up ‘fore Mommy come home.”

Ignoring her brother’s command, Shantell didn’t move. Reggie repeated himself again. Once again, his sister didn’t respond.

He reached down and snatched his half-naked sister off the bed, then slammed Shantell up against the wall. Her bible study plaques and Double Dutch trophies fell from the wall and dresser. Reggie brought his face inches from hers. Then he spoke in low menacing voice.

“Listen, you little bitch, you better do what I say,” he growled. “And you better not tell nobody what we did! You hear me? If you do, I am going to kill you!”

In reality, Shantell had nothing to fear. Reggie could not hurt her anymore than he already had. Right now, she was already dead. He couldn’t possibly kill her again.

His harsh words began to invoke tears from Shantell eyes. She cried uncontrollably. Her whole body began to tremble. She was scared to death of her brother.

Reggie did more than intimidate Shantell. He instilled the fear of God in her. She really believed he would carry out his threat. Shantell really thought her brother was crazy. Suddenly she began to do what she was told.

Evilly Reggie looked at her as she exited the room. When Shantell was out of sight, he went over and inspected the bed. He saw a few light blood stains on the sheets. Immediately he tore the sheets off the bed and flipped the mattress over. He went down the hall to the linen closet and got a fresh set of sheets in an effort to cover his tracks, and put them on Shantell’s bed, as if his mother had made it up. Brenda had taught her son well.

Reggie hid the soiled sheets in his bedroom until later. As soon as he got the opportunity, he planned to dispose of the evidence in the project Dumpster. Until then, Reggie retreated back to his room to play his video game. He acted as if nothing ever happened.

He figured even if Shantell did tell, it would be his word against hers. Who would Brenda believe? Reggie would make his mother choose sides. That was something that no parent wanted to do under any conditions.