All That Lies Within (30 page)

“Okay. I’ll have a new address as of tonight in case you need that for any reason.”

“Good. Give it to my assistant and to Audrey, along with your phone numbers.” George patted her on the back. “You did good today. Welcome to the big time, Professor.”

“Thanks. I think.”   

CHAPTER NINETEEN

When she emerged from the trailer after her shower, Dara looked everywhere for Rebecca.
I just need to know that you’re okay and to tell you how proud I am of how you handled yourself today.

Rebecca was nowhere to be found. Dara tried her cell phone, but it went directly to voicemail.

Maybe she went back to the house. Yeah, and maybe pigs can fly. It’s not like you left the welcome mat out for her when you went to bed last night.

Where else was she going to go? The condo wouldn’t be ready for another week. The only other person Rebecca knew here was Carolyn. Dara pulled out her phone and hit autodial.
This ought to be fun.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.”

“Done for the day?”

“Finally.”

“How’d it go?”

“Crappy, until Rebecca got in there and duked it out with Cal.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely. She really stood her ground.”

“Good for her.”

“Uh,” Dara reached her car and leaned against it. “That leads me to a question.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t suppose you have any idea where Rebecca is, do you?” Dara scrunched up her face, imagining Carolyn’s expression on the other end.

“You don’t know?”

“If I knew, would I be calling you?”

“Good point.”

“So, can you help me out or are you going to leave me hanging here?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

“You.”

“Meaning?” Dara was pretty sure she knew where this was going, but she wasn’t going to give in unless she absolutely had to.

“The woman was staying at your house. Presumably you both left the house this morning. You spent all day on the same set today. And I know she gave you her cell phone number the other day. How is it you don’t know where she is or where she was going?”

Dara huffed out a breath. “You’re really going to make me do this, aren’t you?”

“You bet your ass I am.”

“Does that mean you know where she is?”

“You haven’t answered the question.”

“About that. It might have something to do with the fact that I did something really, really stupid last night and then I freaked out afterward and, well, the rest is history.”

“What do you mean, ‘the rest is history?’” Carolyn asked slowly.

Dara pushed off the car. “I don’t want to stand out here in the parking lot and talk about this. Do you know where Rebecca is, or not?”

“I do not. But I might be able to figure it out if you tell me what the hell happened between you two yesterday?”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Waiting for an explanation from you.”

“If you want that, come to my place. I’m on my way home now.”

“I’ll be there and yes, I’ll bring dinner.”

“I don’t suppose you think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that Rebecca went to my house, do you?”

“Did you try calling her?”

“It went directly to voicemail.”

“Honestly, Dar, I haven’t talked to her.”

“Oh.”

“But I have talked to Stacy.”

“Oh?”

“I suspect Rebecca’s at her condo.”

“The one we agreed on yesterday?”

“That’s the one.”

“Can I change our plans?”

“No. Dar. Don’t go charging over there. Come home and tell me everything and let’s figure it out together, okay?”

“But—”

“Do you trust me?”

“With my life.”

“Okay, then. I’ll meet you at your house in half an hour.”

“You look like hell.”

“Hello to you too,” Dara said as she threw her keys on the kitchen table. “I don’t suppose…” Dara peeked into the living room.

“What? That Rebecca’s here? No. It’s just us chickens.” Carolyn unpacked dinner from a series of bags.

“Mmm. That smells good. I don’t think I remembered to eat today.”

“That may explain part of why you look like hell.” Carolyn stopped what she was doing and leaned against the counter. “But from where I’m standing, I’d say it’s more that someone didn’t get her beauty rest last night.” She took note of the stress lines around Dara’s eyes and mouth and the slight bruising under her eyes. “Spill it.”

“Now?”

“Is there a better time?”

“Can’t we eat first?”

“We can eat and talk at the same time. Don’t get cagey with me. I know you too well.” Carolyn dished out the Chinese food from the cartons and put the plates on the kitchen table.

“Thank you for picking up dinner.” Dara kissed her on the top of the head.

“You’re welcome. Now let’s have it.”

Dara plopped down into the chair. “Rebecca and I had a fantastic day—brunch at the Polo Lounge, great conversation, fun shopping. She even let me pick out her outfits.”

“The condo hunting must have gone well too, if she’s already moved into one.”

“The first couple weren’t worth our time, but the third one, it was simply…her. It was tasteful, elegant, open, and airy. It had the perfect vibe.”

Carolyn wondered if Dara was hearing herself and how her voice warmed when she described Rebecca. “So, now you’re comparing her to a condo?”

“C’mon, Car. You know what I’m saying, it just fit her perfectly.”

“Okay. She signed a three-month lease for the condo. What happened after that?”
As if I haven’t figured out where this is going. Listen to yourself, Dar. You’re gushing.

“We came home and ran lines together for today’s scene.” Dara’s eyes got even brighter. “I swear to God, she was Harold. It was like she was inside his skin, exactly the way I wrote him. Remarkable. That should’ve made it hard for me, because Sam might have read the scene completely differently, but I just enjoyed her take on Harold so much.”

“And?” Carolyn raised an eyebrow.

“And then we sat down together to revise the scene.”

“And?” Carolyn felt like a broken record.
Please, God. Let her get to the point soon.

“She’s incredibly sharp. She absolutely nailed the problem right off the bat and knew precisely how to fix it. I couldn’t believe it. Even I didn’t see it as quickly as she did.”

“And?”

Dara put down her chopsticks. For a second, Carolyn thought she might cry.

“Dara Thomas. Look at me.” Carolyn waited until she did. “I’m your best friend and I love you. What happened next?”

“I-I made a really, really big mistake.” Dara’s voice faltered and Carolyn knew there was nothing for it except to be patient. “Car,” Dara’s eyes filled with tears, “I kissed her.” The last word was lost on a sob. Dara wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth. “I knew I shouldn’t have done it. But I couldn’t seem to stop myself. She’s so perfect and we just clicked so well. It was intense.”

Softly, Carolyn asked, “Did she kiss you back?”

“What? Oh. Yeah.” Dara sighed happily. “She definitely kissed me back.”

“Okay. Maybe I’m being dense, but I fail to see a problem.”

“You…”

“Fail to see a problem here. You’re both grown women, consenting adults. As far as I know, you’re both single. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is… The problem is, I don’t even know her. I mean, I know nothing about her history, what kind of person she is—”

“How can you say that? You just spent fifteen minutes describing her to me,” Carolyn pointed out reasonably. “Let’s see, you said she was tasteful, elegant, open, sharp… Have I left anything out? Presumably you’re attracted to her or you wouldn’t have kissed her.”

“She’s only going to be here for ninety days, then she’ll go back to her nice, quiet life in Vermont and forget—”

“And forget you? Dara, sweetie. You can’t honestly believe that if you and Rebecca start something here, she’ll forget all about you when the shoot wraps. You had a connection before she ever got here, and you’ll have a connection after this movie is history.”

“I’m not risking my heart on some three-month temporary—”

“Who said anything about risking your heart?”
Let’s try a different tack.
“Why not just have fun?”

“What? Rebecca’s not… Well, she’s not that kind of girl. How can you suggest such a thing?”

“How is it that you’re so sure she’s not ‘that kind of girl’ and yet you’re not sure that she wouldn’t use you on a whim and walk away? You can’t have it both ways. Which is it?” Carolyn knew she was pushing Dara’s buttons. She only hoped it would help her figure this out.

Dara sat there, eyes glistening, nostrils flaring, arms folded across her chest. “Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you helping me?”

“I am helping you,” Carolyn said quietly. “You’ve got so much fear around your heart you’ve forgotten how to love.”

“What did you say?”

“I said—”

Dara waved her off. “Never mind. You just said almost word for word what my mother said to me this morning. And here I was trying to forget it.”

Carolyn nearly choked on a sip of water. “I’m sorry? Did you say you had a conversation with your mother this morning? Are you okay?”

Dara shook her head. “I don’t know what I am, Car. I had this dream last night after I ran away from Rebecca.”

“Wait. You ran away?”

Dara grimaced. “Yeah. Pretty much. I ended the kiss, told her she was on her own and that when we met on set today it had to look like it was for the very first time. Then I escaped to the bedroom.”

“Oh, Dara.”

“Don’t even.” Dara wagged a finger at Carolyn. “Anyway, I had this very vivid dream that I had a conversation with my mother about love.”

“Okay, that’s just wrong on so many levels I hardly know where to start.”

“Too true. But she said the same thing you just said. That I need to let go of fear and open my heart to love.”

“I never thought I’d say these words, but your mother is right.”

“Oh, my God. Don’t say that again. It’s frightening. She said it was her fault, hers and my father’s, that they shaped me to believe that it wasn’t safe to be my true self—to let myself be seen. And that later on, my experience with Sheilah added a twist to that, so that I came to believe that nobody saw me for who I really am or cared who I am beyond the superficial stuff and nobody ever would.”

Carolyn whistled. “That was some dream.”

“Except that it wasn’t.” Dara picked up her chopsticks again and pushed the brown rice and chicken with broccoli around on her plate. “After I was up and in the shower, she kept talking to me, saying the same things. She said she came to make amends and that it was ironic that I was telling the truth as a child, that I really could see and hear dead people.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. How many years have you waited to hear that?”

“I wasn’t waiting anymore. I simply shut down that part of my life and I was okay with that.”

“And now?” Carolyn tried to put herself in Dara’s place. Her psychic abilities caused her so much pain, so much anguish as a child. Carolyn well remembered the many times Dara cried in her arms and prayed that the visions and visitations would stop and that she could just be normal, like everybody else. Eventually, she stopped talking about it and Carolyn didn’t want to bring up a painful subject, so she stopped asking about it too. What must it be like, after all this time, to have that switch turned on again, and by her mother, of all people?

“I don’t know. So far, my mother’s the only one I’ve seen. Maybe it was just a one-time deal. Like a special dispensation from God for her to have one last conversation with me.”

“I guess you’ll find out.”

“I guess I will.”

“Anyway,” Carolyn said, “back on topic here. Your mother is right. Sorry, I had to say it again. You’ve been protecting your heart so fiercely for the last ten years that you’ve forgotten any other way to be.”

“That’s not true. I just haven’t met anyone who interested me on that level.”

“Don’t you dare sit there and tell me that all these years you’ve been open to the possibility of a relationship. You know that’s a lie.”

Dara looked as if she would argue the point, then thought better of it.

“And don’t tell me now that you aren’t romantically attracted to Rebecca.” Carolyn pointed her chopsticks at Dara.

Dara sighed. “Honestly? I’d wanted to kiss her all day. Finally, I just ran out of willpower.”

“Okay. We can work with that. Admitting that you have it bad is the first step.”

“Very funny.” Dara let the chopsticks clatter to the plate and looked beseechingly at Carolyn. “I can’t do this. I don’t know how to let someone in, even if I wanted to.” Her eyes held confusion and pain.

“I’ve never known you to back away from a challenge. Don’t start now. Right this instant. Close your eyes and tell me the first impressions that come to you about Rebecca. Don’t stop to think, just speak.”

“Sexy.” Dara smiled. “Passionate, stunning, bright, fun, honest, open, great kisser, sincere.”

“Okay. You can open your eyes now. How does your heart feel when you rattle off those impressions of her?”