All the Way (18 page)

She shook her head. “You’re wrong, Brando. If he has a need to travel and see other places, we’ll never be able to keep him. All you’ll have is a shell of a man who hates his life. Neither of us want that anymore, do we?”

Brando squeezed her hands. “You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve him.”

She sputtered out a half laugh. Oh, God, it hurt so bad. Her whole body ached, and she craved the ability to crawl under a blanket and refuse to move until she healed. But this time, it was on her terms, and her choice. She needed to be strong for both of them. Her voice shook. “Don’t say that. He’s a good man. He came back to make things right with you, with me. He admitted his weaknesses, and that’s what a strong man does. You can’t choose who you love.” She dragged in a breath. “Don’t tell him I know, Brando. Promise me. I want him to be the one to tell me.”

After a few moments, he nodded. “Okay.”

“Thanks. I gotta go.” She stumbled out the door as her reality broke into jagged pieces like a shattered mirror. Her feet hit the pavement as she walked block after block, the chilly city air hitting her face and burning her ears. She walked and thought of her options, raging against the unfairness of starting over. Of getting over him for the second time. Of letting him go without hate or fear or rage. This time, it would be different. She was different.

The possibilities sifted before her until she realized what she had to do. Something that would set him free. Something that might ruin what she worked so hard to build, but the gift was worth it. For the man she loved. For the man she had to let go.

Miranda made her decision and walked back to her office.

…

“Hey baby, everything all right?” Gavin held the phone tucked by his ear as he scrolled through the inventory lists. He’d been caught working late again, and after a hell of day, realized she never stopped by for dinner. His few texts weren’t answered. Just as he started to panic, she emailed him that she had a work function and would call him later. His relief was a complete embarrassment. As Brando now reminded him daily, he was completely whipped.

And loving every moment.

He picked up the velvet jewelers case and snapped open the lid. The perfect two-carat marquise diamond shimmered with an icy heat. He imagined it blinking on her finger. Imagined the moment he slipped it on and claimed her forever. Imagined her face when she uttered yes.

“I’m fine. Cocktails ran late, and I’m so tired I decided to have an early night.”

Her voice came out husky, yet subdued, and a strange flutter hit his gut. Almost like worry. But he pushed it aside and decided he needed to grow some balls. “Want some company? I can be there in an hour.”

He waited for her laugh or naughty phone sex breathing, but she hesitated. “Not tonight, Gavin. I hope that’s okay. I just need to sleep.”

He pushed away the hurt and told himself it was good for them to spend a night apart. “Sure, I understand. I do want to talk to you about something important. Can we have a quiet dinner tomorrow night around seven? I’ll take a few hours off.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

He shuffled some papers. “I don’t want to get into it right now. It’ll be better in person. No worries, though. Everything’s great.”

He winced at the weakness of the word.
I want to propose to you and I’m scared shitless. Yeah, just great.

“Okay.”

A twitch ran down his spine. Something was off, but he didn’t know if he should push tonight or wait until tomorrow. Maybe she was exhausted and needed rest. God knows he’d kept her up the last few nights with extracurricular activities. “I love you. Get some sleep, baby.”

Her voice seemed to break on her final words. “I love you, too, Gavin. I always have.”

The phone clicked.

He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the phone. Her declaration had a terrible foreboding trapped within the words, almost as if she was saying good-bye.

Gavin shook off the worry and re-focused on his spreadsheet. He had inventory problems, and he needed to solve them tonight. He reached for his mug of strong coffee and got back to work.

Chapter Eleven

Gavin lifted the crate and slammed it on the supply shelf. He wiped the sweat off his brow and prayed for a shower. He’d need to do some major scrubbing before his date, or she’d never say yes. A silly grin pulled at his lips at the thought of the evening ahead.

“Hey Gavin, you got a delivery.”

He looked up as his father handed him a flat brown envelope marked
Priority Mail
. “Hmm, doesn’t look like the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes I sent in. I had a dream last night that Ryan Seacrest knocked on my door with a bunch of roses. We ended up opening a chain of restaurants throughout Manhattan.”

“I didn’t know the American Idol man did the sweepstakes now?”

His lip quirked. “Ed McMahon passed on, Pop. Even Dick Clark. I think Ryan is the new substitute.”

Archimedes shook his head in sorrow. “A shame. I guess hope must run in the family. You mother told me I woke up yelling when my horse won at the track. Odds were fifty to one.”

He smiled and ripped open the envelope. “Did you build more restaurants?”

“No. I took your mother to Tahiti and kept the money a secret from my children.”

“Now I know the signs to look for. I guess—” he trailed off and stared at the paper in front of him.

“What’s the matter?”

A dull roaring echoed in his ears. The words leapt at him in stark black-and-white, and read worse than an obituary. An icy trickle of fear ran down his spine.

The clipping was from the new HotSpot feature in
Foodie
magazine. The caption screamed:
Mia Casa Rocks The House

He skimmed the page. With her usual sparkling wit, Miranda Storme admitted to her reading public she’d been dragged back into the restaurant by a friend, and had been astonished at how different the menu was. After several more unscheduled visits, she decided to break her cardinal rule. She described the new decor and menu, mentioned the lounge, and raved about the hardworking staff. She hailed it as one of the best finds in the city.

Then she rated it four stars.

“Gavin?”

He blinked and met his father’s concerned gaze. “She did the second review.”

Gray brows slammed together in a frown. Archimedes reached for the clipping. “You told me she’d never do it.” He glanced over the words. “
Mama mia
, we got the highest rating.” He threw his hands out and laughed. “You did it! After this review, we’ll have bigger crowds. Wait till I tell your mother about—”

“No.” He snatched the paper back. “Something’s not right, Pop. She’d never do this without telling me.”

“Do what?” Tony strolled in and Archimedes turned.

“Miranda did the second review. We got four stars!”

Tony threw his head back and gave a whoop. “Alleluia! My cooking held up, after all! We need to celebrate. Let’s have a brand new special. Can we frame it? Let me see!”

Gavin fought panic and dodged out of his chef’s way. “No, Tony, I’m telling you, something’s off about this. She swore she’d never do the second review.”

“You changed her mind, dude! Someone uncork the champagne.”

Brando poked his head in the stockroom. “What’s going on in here? I’m stuck handling set-up, and Tracey needs me to pick her up in an hour. Can you stop screwing around and get out here to help?”

“Miranda did the second review,” Archimedes announced.

Brando straightened and frowned. “No way.”

“Look.” Tony grabbed the clipping and thrust it into Brando’s hands. “Four stars!”

“Holy shit.” His brother shook his head. “I don’t understand it. Even after what she found out, she still gave you the review? How’d you do it?”

“What do you mean, Brando? After what she found out?”

Brando jerked back and winced. “Oops. Wasn’t supposed to mention it until you told her.” His dark eyes glimmered. “Guess even family and the woman you love aren’t enough for you, huh Gavin? You still need more money and power to make you happy. Well, go. Good riddance.”

A terrible foreboding washed over him. His vision blurred, and suddenly he was in front of his brother, shaking him hard. “What did you tell her? What happened?”

“I found your airline tickets for China. I know you’re leaving end of the week, even after what Pop told you we discussed. I was willing to forgive you, Gavin! Let you stay and run Mia Casa. But no one is enough for you.”

“
Zitto!
” Archimedes marched over and pulled Gavin off. “Brando, how could you do this? You misunderstood.”

Brando glared. “No, I didn’t Pop. I saw the email. Miranda walked in and I told her Gavin was leaving. She hoped he’d stay with us, but money proved what was most important.”

Gavin leaned over and tried not to be sick. Holy crap, she thought he was leaving her again. He replayed their conversation last night. The way she acted strange. The words he said about having a serious talk at dinner. She believed their time was up, and he’d gracefully exit once again, just like he had three years ago.

“Brando, you have done a terrible thing. I spoke with your brother and he is staying.”

Brando glanced at him in astonishment. “What? But I saw—I saw—”

Gavin straightened up and looked his brother in the eye. “Yes, they sent me the tickets. Yes, I’m supposed to go to China. But I quit, Brando. I’m staying here and running Mia Casa.” He reached with trembling fingers into his pocket and pulled out the jeweler’s case. “And I planned on asking Miranda to marry me. Tonight.”

Silence descended.

Brando moaned. “Ah, shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You want me to go talk to her? I’ll explain I screwed up.”

Gavin shook his head. “No, I have to find her. This review is a sign. If I let this run, she’ll screw up her job and always think it was about the restaurant. I need her to know this is only about her and me. I have to stop this thing from running.”

“How can we help?” Archimedes asked.

“Just cover for me. I’m going to find her.” He ripped the envelope from his brother’s hand and tore out. He sensed she wouldn’t be at the paper, but hiding at home. It was a short drive to her apartment. After a few moments of knocking without an answer, he slipped his key in the lock and stepped inside.

Everything was neatly in place. Magazines stacked. Furniture bare. He walked through the rooms and tried to shake off the feeling of abandonment that vibrated in the air. Slowly, as if sensing what he’d find, he entered the bedroom.

The bed was made. The sun trickled through the window and made shadowy patterns against the lace blanket. A crisp white sheet of paper was propped up against the plumpest pillow. Gavin didn’t have to look in the closet to confirm most of her clothes were gone. He didn’t have to tear through her bathroom to know she’d taken all of the essentials, packed them in a bag, and left.

He picked up the note. His fingers trembled.

My dearest Gavin,

Please don’t try to find me. By now you’ll know that I’ve left, and probably received the piece that will run in tomorrow’s edition. I know you’ll be leaving for China, and I don’t blame you for your choice. You were there for your family in their time of need. You were even able to give me the closure I so desperately needed, and I don’t regret the time we spent together.

By allowing myself to love you again, I’ve made peace with the past, and even released myself from some very old demons. But I can’t go with you. I need to get on with my life. I’m not a woman who can wait at home for you to return, or follow you as you chase your dreams. I need more, and you need the freedom in your soul you crave.

I’ll always remember the time we spent together, and perhaps one day, in another time and place, we will meet again. Perhaps that will be our karma.

Miranda

He read the note three times. Carefully, he folded it and slipped the paper into his jacket. Emptiness and pain ripped at his insides, but with a deliberate calm, he forced the emotions in check.

He glanced at the bedroom one last time and walked out.

…

“Where is she?”

Andy groaned and dropped his forehead to the desk. “I knew this would happen! Dammit, just because you supply the newsroom with pastries doesn’t give you the right to tear into our cubicles. I don’t know where she is.”

“You’re lying.” Gavin waited for him to lift his head and leaned in. Anger and frustration shot off him in waves, and he ground his teeth together to keep from punching something. He regretted the ruthlessness he needed to rely on, but right now his life depended on it. “Don’t play games with me, Andy. Her editor told me she took a leave of absence. I can’t get a hold of anyone at Foodie magazine that will talk to me. You’re the only one she confides in, and I want to know now.”

Andy tapped the pen against his desk in a nervous gesture. “You’re giving me too much credit. She called and let me know she’s going away for a while. When I asked her why, she said it’s better if I didn’t know. I asked for how long, and she said it depended. So much for close friendship.”

Gavin studied the man’s features with hard eyes. “Ah, so she didn’t tell you about the other woman?”

“Other woman?” A frown creased his brow. “I thought you were dumping her again to leave for China?”

“Right. But you don’t know anything, do you, Andy?”

“Aww, shit.” Andy looked disgusted. “Okay, so she told me a little. Why don’t you just let her get on with her life instead of torturing her?”

“I’m not going to China, Andy. I quit. I’m staying, and I planned to ask her to marry me tonight.”

Andy threw the pen on the desk and groaned. “Why do I always get dragged into this stuff? She warned me, you know. Told me not to buy into your macho bonding crap and stay strong. Said if I breathed a word to you about her she’d cut off my balls. Gavin, she wasn’t kidding. Don’t mess with a woman who’s pissed off and is good friends with your wife.”

A ghost of a smile passed Gavin’s lips. “I don’t care, I need some help here. I need to stop that review, then find her.”

“Sorry, I’m only Lifestyle and Health. Susan’s her friend who got her the gig at
Foodie
magazine, though. Maybe she could help?”

“Get her on the phone.”

“Pushy, huh?” Andy grumbled but scrolled through his contacts. After a few conversations, he handed him the phone.

It took Gavin a while to convince Susan the planet would fall apart if that Hotspot Feature went to press. Finally, he secured a deal and hung up the phone.

“What did she say?”

“She needs a replacement column right now.”

“Oh. I don’t know where Miranda keeps her reviews.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re writing another column. Right now.”

Andy’s mouth dropped open. “You’re nuts. I can’t whip up a review. I’m Lifestyle and Health.”

“So you keep saying. You and Elaine eat out a lot. You accompany Miranda. I want you to write something now, Andy, and email it to Susan in the next half hour.”

Andy moaned. “This is a nightmare. Why do these things happen to me? Why do I always get involved?”

“Because you’re one of the good guys.”

“Sounds like a bad western.” He paused. “Even if I can pull this off, you still don’t know where she is.”

“I know people. I’ll find her.” He turned to stride away, then glanced back. “I’ll confirm you sent the article to Susan in a bit. And Andy? If you don’t help me, you’ll have to live with the knowledge you broke up a perfect relationship.”

“Perfect? You two never had a perfect relationship. I don’t need this kind of pressure. See, this is what happens when a person tries to help out a friend. I get dragged into a lover’s mess, and I’m the one who gets blamed if it doesn’t work out. Is this fair? Gavin, are you listening to me?”

Gavin hid a grin as Andy’s voice echoed down the corridor.

…

Miranda lifted her face toward the sun and allowed the warm rays to pour over her in a lover’s caress. She sighed with pleasure and let her gaze sweep the jagged mountain peaks that lay in the distance. The scent of wood and damp earth rose to her nostrils, and she enjoyed the crunch under her feet as she walked up the twisting pathway toward the cabin.

A bird cried out. She smiled as the sound echoed through the trees and once again felt a deep sense of peace and healing. Funny, she’d never been able to settle here without bad memories of her lost parents. Her grandmother used to drag her away from the city during the summers in an effort to get her away from the riffraff. Fresh country air and home cooking, she used to admonish. As a child, she craved the excitement of others, and not a cabin where the nearest mall was miles away. After her grandmother passed, it hurt too much to stay here, with memories of the only parent she’d known drifting in the air.

But now, she only experienced a knowledge that she belonged here. Miranda ran her fingers down the bark of an old oak tree. Sadness tugged at her belly and brought a familiar wave of longing. Only a week. Seven days. In a way, it felt like an entire lifetime since she’d last seen him. Touched him. Laughed with him.

She tilted her head toward the sky and imagined him flying to China, off on a new adventure. When she’d first met him, she’d been an impulsive child-woman, hungry for passion and afraid of love. After he left, she’d ruthlessly cut out those qualities and believed they were a sign of weakness. But the walls she built locked out all emotion, until the iciness closed off any feelings left.

This time, she allowed herself to experience the pain without running away. This time, she allowed herself to see the entire relationship without blinders, without rage, without blame.

She remembered the book she picked up last night in an effort to ease the hurt. The author stated there were three lessons in life, the three things that matter the most. Loving well. Living fully. Learning to let go.

Miranda took a deep breath. She knew what she needed to learn from her relationship with Gavin. Though she loved him, she needed to let him go.

Karma.

She walked back to the cabin and thought about the review. The mail would be there by now, and she’d arranged for an issue to be delivered to the cabin today. She flipped open the box and took out the heavy brown envelope. She turned the glossy pages until she reached the HotSpot feature. The sunlight glinted and blinded her for a moment.