Allure (5 page)

She looks up at me, and there’s a confusion in her eyes that seeps right through into me. Because it’s the same confusion
I’m
feeling.

‘Please, Kira.’

I let go of her wrist and slide an arm around her, pulling her against me, kissing her long and slow. I want to kiss her like this all night; no sleep, just sex and kissing. And she can charge me what the hell she likes, I don’t care, I just want her to stay. I want to know she’s there, should we happen to fall asleep, and if we do, I want to wake up and know she’s still with me.

She pulls back from me, but her eyes are still locked with mine. ‘It’s a thousand pounds for overnight.’

I reach out to brush a strand of hair from her eyes. ‘Only if you’re sure…’

‘A thousand pounds, Neal.
You’re
the one who needs to be sure.’

She’s reverted back to that businesslike manner, but I know that’ll pass, or she wouldn’t be agreeing to stay. ‘I heard. And that’s fine, but I really don’t want to talk about the money anymore.’

‘If it wasn’t for the money I wouldn’t be staying.’

And I know she doesn’t mean that. She doesn’t. She’s trying to put up barriers but I can see past them.

‘Take the dress off, Kira.’

I keep my mouth close to hers as I murmur the words, and I feel her shiver as I say them. She wants this as much as I do, but she’s frightened. So am
I.
More frightened than I’m ever gonna admit.

‘Let’s get back to work, baby. OK?’

I smile a slow smile, and she’s back. She’s smiling too. Kira Blu, the woman I’m going to spend the night with. The first woman I’ve spent an entire night with in a long time; the first woman I’ve
wanted
to spend an entire night with.

I watch as she slips the dress back off, but still leaves her boots on, and I’m ready again. All over again. I’m gonna play with this girl until she begs for mercy. And then I’m gonna play with her some more.

And I know I’m in trouble.

I just don’t fucking care.

Kira

I’ve broken the most important rule in my own book. I don’t do overnights. I never have done. I’ve never wanted to. My stance on those is the same as kissing – it’s too personal, too intimate. But I’ve already crossed that line with Neal. I just panicked, when I heard him say the words; words I think, deep down, I wanted to hear him say. I panicked. Everything about tonight has made me panic. But I want to stay. I do. I want to stay here, in this dangerous bubble of confusion and lust and… I want to stay.

Tomorrow’s another day.

I’m going to enjoy tonight.

Four

Kira

My whole body aches, every muscle feels like it’s been used over and over again until it’s been worn down to nothing. I can barely find the energy to turn my head, but I want to look at him. I want to see if he’s still as ridiculously handsome this morning as he was last night.

I carefully move onto my side so I face him, and he’s still asleep, which makes me smile. Those beautiful eyes of his are closed, his dark hair all messed-up and falling down over his forehead. Yeah. He still looks so fucking good.

I want to reach out and touch him, but I don’t want to wake him, not yet. I have so little time left with him now, and I just want to take him in; live every last moment of this fantasy before reality takes over, and both our lives carry on as they were before last night.

Slipping quietly out of bed I head into the bathroom, quickly pee and brush my teeth, and run a brush through my tangled hair. I don’t look too bad, considering everything that went on over the course of a crazy night of sex and, well, more sex. So much sex. No wonder my body aches. I might have to take a few days off to recover from this.

‘You still look incredible, even after everything I did to you.’

I turn around and smile at him. He’s standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorpost, naked and gorgeous and I want him. One last time.

‘You don’t look so bad yourself,’ I whisper as I walk over to him. I haven’t bothered to put any clothes on either. I don’t see the point. There isn’t an inch of me he hasn’t already seen, so why bother being shy now?

He catches me by the waist and pulls me to him, kissing me in the most incredible, heart-stopping way. I’m going to remember his kisses for a long time. And I almost envy all those escorts he has yet to spend time with. They have no idea how lucky they’re going to be.

‘One for the road, beautiful.’

It’s not a question, and he knows my response.

I smile, dragging him towards the shower, and he grins back. We didn’t manage it last night. So we’re doing it now.

I switch it on and we step underneath the warm jets, the water hitting our bodies as he once more pulls me against him, kissing me with a hot-as-hell urgency that I can’t help but respond to. And then he pushes me back against the wall and smiles that smile at me again as he opens his balled-up fist to reveal the necessary condom, and I laugh. I’m so fucking relaxed in this man’s company, it’s ridiculous. But I can barely wait for him to slip the condom on over his already hard cock, in fact, I’m so desperate I know my breathing’s all over the place. And my heart isn’t fairing much better, I can feel it, hammering away inside of me, banging against my ribs with its impatient rhythm.

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his hips as he pushes into me, the water that’s thundering down over us making everything feel so much more intense. He’s even more beautiful wet, and I cling on to him like my life depends on it as he thrusts into me.

He takes my hands, raising my arms up above my head, back against the wall, our fingers intertwining and it’s crazy, the things I’m feeling here. A barrage of emotions I never had to think about before are suddenly filling my head, and I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand it, but I know what it is. And as he finds that place within me, something that shakes me to my very core takes over and I cry out in pleasure and pain and a frustration I have never experienced before. I’m happy and sad and scared. More than anything, I’m so fucking scared. Because I know, the moment he leaves my body, the moment I dress and walk away from him, there’s no turning back.

And I don’t know how to deal with that.

Neal

I leave her to get dressed and head back into the bathroom. I’m as confused as fuck, but at the same time I know exactly what’s going on. And I also know I need to fight it. Last night was just a glorious, incredible fucked-up fantasy, but today is a new day. There are things I need to do, even though it’s Sunday. I have work, that’s why I’m here. Maybe she has, too, and suddenly the thought of her with another man… I can’t explain how that makes me feel. So I try to push the thought away, ignore it; pretend none of this is happening.

I grip the edges of the basin and drop my head for a beat or two before I look up into the mirror. I look tired. But that’s only to be expected. We didn’t get all that much sleep.

I splash freezing cold water over my face a few times before I step back under the shower and quickly get washed. I need to look my best for the meeting this afternoon. I’m here to do a job. I need my head in the game.

 
Going back into the bedroom I notice she isn’t there, and my stomach dips with the fear that I might have missed seeing her one last time before she leaves, but I can hear movement out in the living room, and relief swamps me.

I quickly pull on jeans and a T-shirt, run a hand through my damp hair to push it back off my face, and head into the living room. She’s by the door, all dressed and ready to go. This is it. The moment reality comes crashing back to engulf us both. Maybe she’s relieved about that. I don’t know if I am.

‘I should be going,’ she says, hovering by the door. And I don’t want her to leave. I don’t. Seriously. Something happened last night. I knew it the second my eyes met hers, I felt it. Something happened. And I’m not sure I can deal with her walking away.

But I have to.

Because this can’t happen.

It can’t.

I’m not ready…

Kira

He’s so beautiful I can’t take it. I don’t think I realised just how beautiful he really is until this morning, when I watched him sleep; when he kissed me as he fucked me and my world changed forever. My world changed. Forever.

‘Last night, Kira, it was – it was incredible.’

I smile as he pulls me against him and I allow myself one more kiss. I have his money now. Everything else is a bonus. For both of us. ‘Yeah. It kind of was, wasn’t it.’ I need to get out of here. I don’t want to go, but I need to. I need to leave this crazy situation behind me and get back to the life I know. So I pull away, letting go of him one last time. And it hurts. It’s a real, physical pain I feel as my fingers tighten around the door handle, his eyes burning deep into mine, but I know I have to leave. Now.

‘Have a nice life, Mr Cannon.’

I give him one more smile and open the door, walking out without looking back.

I’m safe now.

Nothing can hurt me. It’s over.

Kira Blu has work to do.

And he was just another job.

Five

Neal

The gallery’s quite full, for late on a Sunday afternoon. But I’d wanted to take a look around before I met with my client. I’m an art dealer, one of the best in the business, and I have clients all over the world, hence the reason I travel so often. My base is in
Manhattan
, but I’m rarely home. People pay a lot of money for my advice and knowledge so I need to be there when they ask for me.

‘Stunning, isn’t it?’

I turn to see a tall, dark-haired woman by my side. She’s pretty, in a verging-on-plain kind of way, but then, after my night with Kira, I doubt any other woman can compare. She’s ruined me, my beautiful, fucked-up escort girl.

‘Yeah. It is.’

I throw her my best smile and turn back to look at the painting, which is hanging beneath a large square skylight, giving it the optimum amount of light to make sure it’s displayed in the best possible way.

‘Neal Cannon, I presume.’

I turn back to face her. ‘Yeah. I’m Neal Cannon.’

She holds out her hand, and I take it, shaking it gently as she throws me a polite smile. ‘I’m Lee. Lee Gifford.’ She doesn’t miss my surprised expression. ‘You were expecting a man, huh?’

‘Well…’ I don’t know what I was expecting, if I’m truthful. My head hasn’t really been straight all day.

‘I’m called Leanne, but I’ve never been a fan of that name, so, I shortened it. Simple as that.’

‘I’m sorry. Please, forgive me. I guess I’m still a bit tired after all the travelling.’

‘Mr Cannon…’

‘Neal. Please.’

She smiles again, and I try to claw back some composure. But my head’s some place else – between the legs of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And I need to forget her, but I can’t. My fingers are itching to pull out my phone and call her because I need last night again. I’m here, in
Newcastle
, for a few more days and I can’t be here and not see her. I can’t, I know that now.

‘Neal?’

Lee’s voice yanks me back to the here and now and I quickly pull myself together. This is business. This is my livelihood. I need to sort my shit out.

‘You’re a bit of an enigma in the art world, are you aware of that?’

She’s still smiling, although it’s moved on from just being polite to slightly more friendly than that. And it’s a nice smile. It lights up her undeniably pretty face – it’s always a bonus when the clients are pretty. It’s doing nothing for me, though, but I still smile back, because I know she’s flirting with me. I’ve been here before, I can read the signs clearly, but I have never, ever taken advantage of those signals. That would be unprofessional. Too messy. I only ever sleep with escorts. Faceless women, emotionless sex.

Yeah. And how did that work out for you last night, Neal?

‘An enigma, huh?’

She’s getting the full-on, infamous Neal Cannon grin here, and it’s working. Any second now she’ll forget my initial distracted demeanour and only remember my smile and the way my eyes are burning deep into hers. I can do this shit in my sleep.

‘I’m very lucky to have acquired your services. I’m guessing you don’t visit North East England all that often.’

‘First time here.’ It sure as hell won’t be my last.

‘Well, if you need someone to show you around…’

‘I’ve got a lot of work to do while I’m here. I’m not sure I’m gonna have a lot of free time.’

‘I can’t tempt you to dinner?’

Her eyes are sending me all kinds of messages here, and it’s nothing I haven’t had to deal with before, but I’m not doing this. She’s a client. A very rich client, and someone who could quite possibly help me expand my English portfolio quite considerably, and I’d like to keep her as that. But only that.

‘Dinner? Tonight?’

‘I know a fantastic little restaurant not far from here. Very exclusive. Very intimate. We could discuss what it is I’m looking for and, maybe, even how
I
could help
you
. And it would be much more relaxing doing that over dinner, don’t you think?’

She’s right, but even so, it’s the last thing I want. I want to get this meeting over with, go back to the hotel and call Kira. I want to spend another long, crazy night with her legs wrapped around me and my cock deep inside her, that’s what I want. But I have to keep an element of professionalism here. This lady is willing to pay me a ton of money to acquire some stunning pieces of art for not only her gallery here in North East England, but also her many homes around the world. Dinner’s the least I can give her. But that’s all she’s getting.

‘Dinner it is, then.’ I throw her another of my smiles, and try to look enthusiastic.

I’ll go to dinner.

I’ll turn on the charm and reel her in and she’ll become my newest client.

Then I’ll say goodnight and go have crazy sex with the woman I really want to be with.

Crazy, dirty, hot-as-hell sex…

Kira

‘You don’t
go
on tour anymore, Kira.’

‘Well, maybe it’s time I changed that.’ I pour myself a large glass of red wine and look up at my best friend. ‘What?’

‘Don’t I get one of those?’

‘Pour it yourself. I’m not your fucking slave.’

‘No.’ Joey sighs in a mock heavy fashion as he playfully nudges me out of the way and retrieves the wine bottle from my hand. ‘I’d have to pay your over-inflated prices if I wanted
that
particular pleasure.’

I kick him in the shin with the spiked heel of my boot. ‘And we both know that’s never gonna happen. I’m not what you want.’

‘Darling, you’re not even the
sex
I want.’

 
I can’t help but smile. Joey always makes me smile. Joey Princess – club owner and one of the region’s finest drag artists. He’s also my very best friend, something he’s been for the past ten years. He knows what I do, and he loves me regardless. He’s the only family I really have – him and all the other drag artists he works with at his club, Bam-Bams. Without him I’d be a broken wreck. Even more broken than I already am. He saved me. He’s the only person I can really trust. I tell him everything. He knows so many of my secrets, but he’ll never tell them to another soul. He knows the real me. He knows who I really am. And he’s the only person who does. The only person who ever will.

‘So, come on. Why the sudden need to go on tour again? Because you don’t
need
to. Girl, you have a list of clients right here that means you never need to set foot outside of this city again.’

‘Maybe I just fancy a change.’

He looks at me, and I know he isn’t buying any of this. I’m not even convincing myself. I know why I suddenly want to move temporarily to another city. And so does Joey.

‘What happened, Kira? Last night. What happened?’

‘I don’t know,’ I whisper, taking another sip of wine. I want to down the bottle. I want to sink into oblivion and forget.

‘Oh, for Christ’s sake…’ Joey lets forth another dramatic sigh. He’s good at them. They’re a speciality of his. ‘Was he hot?’

‘Joey… Come on…’

‘Was he
seriously
hot? Would
I
like him?’

My mouth twists up into a smirk, despite the confusion filling my head. ‘You’d love him. You’d want to ride his perfect arse for hours, believe me.’

‘But he prefers to ride yours.’ Another sigh, and I can’t help laughing.

‘Something happened, Joey.’

The mood suddenly changes, because I need to talk about this. It’s making me crazy, and I need to work out what’s going on, before it drives me insane.

‘Like what?’

I slide up onto the countertop, crossing my legs up underneath myself as I drain my glass of wine.

‘I know you’ve taken your calendar down, Kira. I heard you cancelling appointments. Does the agency know?’

‘I told them I’m not feeling too good.’

‘And?
Are
you feeling ill? Because you look fine to me.’

I shake my head and refill my glass. ‘I’m not ill. I’m just confused.’

‘Happens to us all at some point, sweetheart.’

I look down at my fingers gripping the stem of my glass, and all I can think about is Neal. I close my eyes and I see his face, his smile. I hear his voice, his laugh, the way he calls me “baby” as he fucks me…

‘Kira. Your phone’s ringing. You gonna get it? Or do you want me to answer it?’

I push it towards him. I’m not in the mood to talk to the agency or turn any more clients away today. And Joey’s not a stranger to taking my calls. He likes doing it. Says it makes him feel like my pimp. Escorts don’t have pimps, of course, and he knows that, but he does know how to handle clients when I’m not in the mood. So he’s useful to have around at times like this.

I watch as he puts the phone to his ear and walks over to the window.

‘Kira Blu’s phone… I’m sorry, she’s not taking calls at the moment… Sorry, who?’ He turns to face me. ‘Neal Cannon…? Well, Mr Cannon, like I said, she isn’t taking calls at the moment… No, she’s fine, but I suggest…’ He catches my eye, sees my expression change, and the look on his face says it all. He knows what happened last night. He knows why I shouldn’t take that call. But he also knows I’m going to. ‘Could you hold for just a second, please?’

He presses the phone into his shoulder and stares at me with wide eyes, shaking his head as he walks towards me.

‘You should think about this, Kira.’

Yeah, I should, but my thighs are aching to feel him between them again. Every promise I made myself when I walked away from him this morning, I’m breaking them. If he hadn’t called, I would have dealt with it. I would have done. I’d have dealt with it. But he called. And I’m going to him.

‘Just give me the phone, Joey.’

He hands it over with yet another heavy sigh, but he stays within earshot, and that’s fine. Like I said, we have no secrets. We protect each other. Or we try to.

‘Neal?’

‘Kira… Look, I know… Are you free tonight? Only, I noticed you’ve taken your calendar down, and I thought…’

‘Yeah. I’m free.’ I throw Joey a look as he folds his arms and shakes his head again.

‘Can I see you?’

‘How many hours?’

‘Overnight, Kira. I need you to stay with me again. I need you to stay with me the whole time I’m here, baby, I will pay you whatever you want…’

‘I can’t do that.’

He has no idea how much I want to. But I can’t. I can’t have him rent me out like some expensive plaything. I won’t let myself be that woman. Or have I already crossed that line?

‘I’ll stay the night, but I can’t be exclusively yours.’

I could be. If I wanted to be. I just think I need to keep that small amount of distance. He isn’t here forever, and as much as I ache to be with him – and I still don’t know why that is – he
will
leave at some point, and I need to know normality is still out there for me when he does.

‘Overnight it is, then.’

I can sense the disappointment in his voice, but it’s the way it has to be. Or I’m not going to get through this. ‘When do you want me?’

‘I’m gonna be back at the hotel around nine…’

‘OK. I’ll be there at ten. I’ll come straight to your room.’
 
For another round of fucked-up sex.

I end the call, and Joey’s still looking at me with pursed lips and folded arms. He knows I shouldn’t be doing this. He knows.

‘You’re making a mistake, angel.’

‘I’ve already made it, Joey.’

‘You got feelings for this man?’

‘I don’t know what I feel, alright? I just know I need to see him again.’

‘And that is so wrong, Kira. You
never
feel that way, you do detachment like a fucking pro. You keep your distance, you treat these men like the walking cheque books they are, you never, ever let them in. Ever. What’s so different about this one, huh?’

I drop my gaze, staring down at the phone in my hand. ‘I couldn’t stop it from happening.’

‘Yes. You could.’

‘He feels it, too.’

‘Which makes it even more dangerous. Kira, babe, how long have you been doing this now?’

Too long? ‘You know how long I’ve been doing this.’

‘And I’ve never seen you this messed-up. You’re messed-up, angel. You charging him for this?’

‘Of course I’m charging him.’

‘Well, forgive me, lady, but for all I know you could be letting him stick his dick in you for free, you’re so fucking out of it.’

‘I never give it away for free, and you know that.’

‘Don’t you? Look at me, Kira. And tell me the honest truth here. Would you let this man fuck you for free? If that was the only way you could have him, would you let him fuck you for free?’