Along Came a Rogue (24 page)

Kate!
Emily smiled. For the first time that day, her spirits lifted, and the weight eased from her shoulders. “Please show Her Grace upstairs.”

He nodded and retreated from the room.

Katherine Westover, Duchess of Strathmore, had been the first visitor to Chatham House after Emily arrived in London. Although Kate and her husband, Edward, were there to call on Thomas, the redheaded duchess with the welcoming smile and bright green eyes greeted her warmly, and the two had become fast friends. Of course, it helped that they were both with child. Kate was three months behind, but they'd bonded over their mutual pregnancies, and Emily found Kate's advice about babies, her friendship, and her loyalty to be a godsend. Just as she'd come to admire the duke. From the way he doted on his wife, Edward dearly loved her, and Emily couldn't help the niggling envy inside her whenever she saw the couple together. It was the same loving marriage she'd wanted with Grey but now could never have.

“Emily!” Kate Westover glided into the room, waving away Jensen's attempt to announce her. She took Emily's hands and squeezed them warmly as she leaned in to kiss her cheek, but when Emily pulled back, the young duchess frowned. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I'm fine,” she assured her. “Just a little tired, that's all.”

But her assurance didn't lessen Kate's concern. “I should go and let you rest—”

“No! Please stay.” Her hands tightened on Kate's as she led her toward the settee, as if to physically stop her from leaving if need be. Kate had no idea how much she needed this visit. “Talking with you will raise my spirits more than anything else.”

“All right,” Kate agreed, but the dubious look on her face told Emily she wasn't convinced. “Perhaps for just a short stay, then.”

“Good.” Relieved at having Kate to distract her from thoughts of Grey, Emily sent her an overly bright smile. “Have you seen Thomas this afternoon? He's almost completely recovered now. He'll be back to his normal life soon, I'm certain.”

Kate hesitated, as if she didn't quite agree with Emily's optimistic prognosis, but then nodded. “He and Edward went for a ride in the park, leaving us ladies to our gossip.” She reached into her reticule and withdrew a small jar. “I brought this for you. An herbal cream. Rub it over your belly twice a day, and it will help keep your skin firm and soft.”

“Thank you.” Emily's eyes glanced at Kate's own belly, which already showed quite roundly and twice as much as Emily had been at six months. “And how are you?”

“Every part of me is swollen and bloated, sickness has kept me locked in my room every morning until well past noon, and I am twice as huge as I was just a month ago.” A glowing smile spread across her face as her hand reached to lovingly rub her belly. “And I've never been happier!”

Emily hugged her, despite the stab of envy in her chest. Kate had Edward to share in all the happiness of this wonderful time of her life, but Emily had lost the one man with whom she wanted to share it most.

“I keep warning Edward that I must be carrying twins—and girls!” Kate laughed, her eyes gleaming mischievously. “It would serve the colonel right to be surrounded by a houseful of women who won't be ordered about.”

Emily forced a smile, while inside she was miserable. Edward was going to be a wonderful father, she had no doubt of that. But her baby would have no father, and that thought both saddened and worried her immeasurably.

“Emily, I'm concerned about you.” With a troubled frown, Kate took both her hands and held them on the cushion between them.

She shook her head, doing her best to alleviate Kate's worries. “I'm fine, truly. I know I'm carrying small, but I promise to eat more. Cook and Yardley will make certain of it. And I'll be able to rest more because I'm refusing all social invitations now.” She forced a smile. “Except for an occasional stroll through the park, I plan on doing nothing but resting, reading, and gorging myself on biscuits.”

But Kate's frown only deepened. “I meant that you look so…sad.”

At that, Emily averted her eyes. What a ninny she was! How silly to think she could fool Kate into believing she was happy when inside she was miserable.

Kate hesitated, then lowered her voice. “It's Major Grey, isn't it?”

Her tear-blurred eyes flew up to Kate's as her heart skipped painfully. “What do you know about Grey?”

“Edward and Thomas talk,” she explained gently. “Don't let them fool you—those men are as bad as gossipy old hens when they get together.” As Emily's eyes grew wide with mortification, Kate squeezed her hand reassuringly. “They're only worried about you, and about Grey. I don't know everything, and it's truly none of my business, but…well, apparently, the man's tied himself into knots over you. Edward claims he's never seen Grey so worked up over a woman before.” Her eyes softened sympathetically. “And I don't think he's the only one who's suffering.”

Emily stared down at her hands as a single tear slid down her cheek.

“Oh, Emily.” Her face dark with sympathy, Kate pulled a handkerchief from her reticule and placed it into her hand. “If this is making you so miserable, why did you refuse him?”

She dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief and launched into the same practiced speech she'd given to Thomas. “Because I'm only now finding my way back into society, and if I married him, I would be cut. I don't want that, not for me nor my child, especially since he's going to be born a marquess. Life will be hard enough for him. He doesn't need any more problems haunting him.”

With an excited thrill lighting her eyes, Kate beamed at her and glanced down at her belly. “You think it's going to be a boy, then?”

“I know so.” Emily blew out a long-suffering sigh as the baby moved and a sharp kick punched into her ribs. Only a man could cause her this much trouble while yet to be born.

“Grey would never do anything to hurt you, Emily, you know that. He'll protect your child—”

“I know,” she whispered, once more glancing away. Lying to Kate was as unbearable as lying to Grey and Thomas. “But I have Thomas now. I don't need his protection any longer.”

“Maybe it's not only protection. Maybe…Grey loves you.”

Emily shook her head as her chest ached with fresh anguish. Grey wanted to marry her because he wanted to protect her, because of his friendship with Thomas, because of the intimacies they'd shared on the journey…A dozen reasons, except love.

“You need to speak to him, Emily,” Kate urged. “Give him another chance.”

But what was there to say? She knew the desolation and suffering that came when the man she wanted to love her only ended up resenting her, and she would
never
go through that again. Of course, Grey would claim he'd never do that. He might even believe himself that he'd be able to give up his work…but she knew the truth. What kind of future could they possibly have once he realized how much he missed the excitement of his bachelor life?

“No,” she said firmly, wiping away the last of her tears. “I refused him. I won't change my mind.”

Kate shook her head. “You two cannot go on like this. It's not good for him, and it's certainly not good for you or the baby.”

“That's why I told him to leave for Spain, to go on with his plans.” But the frustrating man had refused to budge, devil take him! And as long as he lingered in London, he kept the wounds to her heart fresh and raw. Because she still loved him. And always would.

Kate squeezed her hand. “Let me ask Edward to intercede with Grey—”

“No, please!” Kate was trying to help, and Emily loved her for it, but her involvement would only make things worse. “If Grey thought you were meddling— No, Kate, I won't put you into the middle of this.”

“All right, I won't meddle,” Kate promised reluctantly, although when she bit her lip, Emily would have sworn she looked…guilty. “However, I won't let you stay all miserable like this, either. Come shopping with me this afternoon,” she implored with exaggerated enthusiasm that Emily knew was only for her sake. “An excursion outside will do us both good. Let's go to Bond Street and buy a new bonnet or two. Or six!”

Emily hesitated. “I don't think—”

“Please. Why waste a perfectly lovely afternoon by staying cooped up inside?” Kate squeezed her hands, concern falling over her face. “For me?”

With a sigh, Emily agreed.

An hour later, the two women walked arm in arm along Bond Street, gazing through the shop windows at the displays and taking in all the sights and sounds of the busy street. Emily had to admit that this was a wonderful idea. Certainly the walk was good for her legs, even if she managed less of a walk than a waddle, and the air and sunshine lifted her spirits.

In her two years away, she'd forgotten how much fun it could be to simply meander along the street and peek into shop windows to see all the new fabrics and fashions, the display of shoes and boots at the cobbler's shop, even the rows of jars at the tobacconist. And none of what was shown in the windows could compare to the sight of the dandies strolling in their finery, the flamboyant colors and patterns of their waistcoats, and the arrogance with which they sneered at the world through their monocles.

She suppressed a giggle. Thank God Grey wasn't one of those!

“Oh, look at that!” Kate pointed to a bonnet displayed in the window of a milliner's shop and drew Emily's attention. Bright red and orange ostrich feathers streamed into the air like poufs of flames over the bonnet's purple brim, decorated with yellow spangles. “Isn't it interesting?”

“Very.” She slid a sly glance sideways at her dear friend. “But I know you, Kate Westover, and you couldn't care a fig about hats.”

Kate flashed her a brilliant smile and linked her arm through hers, then started them slowly down the street again. “True,” she conceded, “but a bonnet like
that
—that's not just a hat. That's a force of nature!”

Emily gave a bubble of laughter. She appreciated beyond measure Kate's attempts to distract her with shopping, because so far, the distraction had been working. She was enjoying herself today more than she had in the past three months.

“You should buy that hat,” Kate urged.

“Me?” she squeaked, appalled. “That hat with this belly? Goodness, I'd look like the ostrich egg beneath the nesting feathers!”

“You're beautiful, Emily,” Kate chastised. Then she added gently, “And Grey loves you just as you are.”

She shook her head sadly. “He's never said so.”

“Perhaps not. But when I confronted him, he didn't deny it.”

“Kate!” Emily halted in her steps with a gasp, mortified. “You didn't!”

“I promised no meddling,” the duchess clarified. “I didn't swear off direct confrontations.”

Emily groaned but kept her eyes straight ahead, despite the pain of disappointment thumping in her chest with each heartbeat. “Is that where I'm supposed to pin my hopes, then? That he didn't deny he loves me?”

Kate squeezed her arm. “With these men of ours, Emily, that's as good as saying it.” She added more softly, “For now.”

They walked on, with Kate pointing out various items in the windows and Emily feigning interest, her troubled mind once more focused on Grey.

“Look!” Kate gestured at the window, her first show of genuine excitement at anything in the storefronts. “The bookshop. Let's linger a bit, shall we?”

“So we've found your weakness.” Emily smiled knowingly and let Kate lead her to the window to see the displayed books.

“An addiction,” she sighed deeply. “I am an unapologetic bluestocking, I'm afraid, especially when it comes to science books. I devoured the library at Hartsfield Park last winter.” She frowned at the passing shoppers around them and muttered beneath her breath, “Of course, Grey wouldn't pick this store.”

Emily frowned, a warning prickling at the backs of her knees. “What do you mean?”

“I promised no meddling,” she repeated, a self-pleased smile at her lips. “I never promised not to arrange meetings that might force you two to talk.”

“Oh, you didn't!” Emily stared at her, horrified, as she realized why Kate was so insistent about going shopping this afternoon.

Kate slid her a hard, knowing look. “Are you still unwilling to receive him at Chatham House?”

Emily began to answer, then closed her mouth. She couldn't deny it.

“Then I had no choice, for both your sakes. And just to talk, that's all. Whatever happens is completely between you two.” Kate lowered her voice, as secretively as if she were carrying out an espionage mission for the War Office. “We are to pretend to shop, then we'll accidentally run into Grey in front of one of the stores. Since he and Edward are old friends, he'll have a ready-made excuse to stop us to chat. Anyone watching will think nothing of the meeting. At just the right moment, I'll notice a hat in a window, shoes, ribbons—a book, if I'm lucky—and wander off to look at it, far enough away that you two can have a moment of privacy.” She sighed the sigh of a thwarted romantic. “It's not ideal, but short of kidnapping you to Strathmore House and risking the gossip of servants, it was the best I could arrange on such short notice.”

“For someone who's sworn off meddling,” Emily grumbled dryly, knowing she had no choice now unless she wanted to run fleeing back to the carriage, and she didn't think she could waddle quickly enough to escape, “you're certainly very good at it.”

Instead of the laugh she expected, or even a scowl of pique, Kate's eyes softened sympathetically. “You are miserable without that man, Emily. And I know that feeling, because I was miserable without Edward. I only want you to be as happy as I am.”