Always and Forever (42 page)

“I know what I do to you, Bethany. I can make you beg, you
beg me to take you and when I do you plead with me to come inside you. What we
have is explosive, I’m not about to let you walk away from this. Please don’t
leave me, baby. I’m nothing without you; I don’t even know who I would be.
Whatever it is you think we can’t work out, tell me and I'll fix it.”

His arms enfold me, pulling me into a tight embrace. He
clings to me as though his life depends upon it.

“Jake, I feel exactly the same as you do. I love you and
I’m not going anywhere. How can you even think that I would leave you? You
misunderstood me; I’ve just been reminiscing about the last few days we’ve have
spent together and how special they’ve been for me. I’ll remember them
forever.”

 I take hold of his hand, unable to understand how
Jake can still question my love for him. What do I have to do to convince him
of my commitment?

He exhales slowly, searching my face for any signs that I’m
lying.

 “Thank fuck for that. For one second I really thought
you were ending things between us and I had no idea what to do.”

“Never, I could never end this.” I say truthfully.

“Do you really mean that?”

His forehead touches mine and I feel it, that raw and
unbreakable connection only Jake can make me feel. It’s sometimes feels like
he’s more a part of me than I am myself. It’s overwhelming, nonsensical and
crazy. It’s a connection so powerful, it scares me and I’ve been struggling
with myself for so long. I tried to run away from it, I tried to deny it and
I’ve tried to escape. Nothing works and I’ve come to realise it’s because I’m
not supposed to avoid this, I’m not meant to turn my back on it.

“I promise you, Jake. There will never be an end to us.” I
speak with so much conviction, praying that it’s really true.

I invite Jake inside, realising we’ve been on the front
door step this whole I somehow manage to forget everything when I’m around
Jake, even my surroundings. As soon as I’ve closed the front door, Jake’s phone
starts to ring. He makes no attempt to answer it and I look at him pointedly,
wondering why he’s not responding to his phone.

“What?” He asks, feigning oblivion.

“You’re not going to answer that?” I ask him suspiciously.

He smiles playfully, walking towards me and presses me up
against the wall. His phone eventually stops ringing and I decide to let it go.
It’s really not any of my business if he decides to answer his phone or not.
His hands start to slide underneath my shirt and slowly working their way up
towards my bra. He’s just about to unfasten the clasp when we’re interrupted by
the sound of Jake’s phone for a second time.

“I’m just going to turn this off.” He says angrily,
reaching for his phone.

“No, you should answer. It might be important.”

 He reaches for his phone and looks at the screen, his
expression quickly changes to one of concern.

“Bethany, do you mind if I just take this call? It won’t
take a minute, I promise you.”

“Take your time, its fine.” I assure him, pasting a relaxed
smile onto my face.

The truth is I am curious, especially when he leaves the
house to take the call. He actually left the house so I can’t hear his
conversation.

I return to the living room and watch him discreetly from
the window. He’s holding the phone up to his ear and he looks agitated, tugging
his fingers through his hair in frustration. He hangs up a few minutes later
and glances back towards the house. He looks tense and uneasy, the complete
opposite of how he was with me a moment ago.

“Bethany?”

I spin around to see Jake standing in the doorway behind
me.

“Is everything ok?” I ask.

“Not really. That was my sister, Carla. She needs my help,
some people have turned up at the house, my mum’s not there and she’s
panicking.”

“What do you mean people have turned up? They weren’t
invited?”

I’m struggling to understand why his sister needs his help,
if someone you don’t want to see turns up at your front door, can’t you just ask
them to leave?

“Yeah, some idiots have been taking advantage lately;
they’ve been using my house as a place to hold their parties. I put a stop to
it a few weeks ago but I guess they found out I wouldn’t be home tonight.
Carla’s on her own and she needs me to hurry home and get rid of everyone.” He
sighs

“It’s ok.” I assure him.

“No, it’s not. I want to spend every moment with you that I
can. The time we spend together is so precious and now I have to leave. I
really don’t want to have to deal with a bunch of drunk, brainless bastards who
think they can use my house as a place to get wasted and stoned.”

 “Jake, it really is ok.”

“I thought I was going to be able to spend the entire
evening with you. This just really sucks.”

“Ok, so I’ll come with you.” I say simply.

He flinches, a hardened expression taking over his face.

“No. That’s not even an option, Bethany. I don’t want you
anywhere near those people.” He says decidedly.

“I wouldn’t go inside or anything. I’ll wait at the end of your
road or something and once you’ve cleared everybody out, we can come back here.
We’ll still be able to spend the evening together.”

 I don’t know if Jake will ever agree to this but a
huge part of me is dying to see Jake’s house, his surroundings and even his
sister. I have no desire whatsoever to meet the people he’s talking about and
that’s why I suggested waiting for him instead.

“God, I don’t know, Bethany. I really don’t want you
anywhere near the place, not with all those idiots around. Even when they’re
sober they’re still scumbags.”

“Are you ashamed of me?”

The thought of it devastates me, although it would make a
lot of sense. Jake and I are worlds apart; he’s so far out of my league. He’s
the sort of boy girls like me dream about having, it’s a beautiful fantasy but
never a reality. If we had gone to the same school I’m sure Jake would have
been the most popular guy there. As for me, I was practically invisible. I’ve
always been the girl who blends into the background.

“Of course not! How could I ever be ashamed of you?” He
frowns, striding over to me near the window.

“Are they your friends? Is that why you don’t want me to go
with you?”

 He shifts from one foot to the other, he looks
embarrassed and his reluctance to answer my question only arouses my suspicions
even more.

“They’re not my friends anymore but they used to be. I
outgrew their friendship a long time ago when I realised that I’d end up with
nothing if I chose to remain involved with them.”

 He reaches out for me, caressing my cheek with the
palm of his hand. I take a step back, wondering why something about this just
doesn’t add up. If Jake used to be friends with the people he now refers to as
scumbags, what does that say about Jake and who he used to be?

“You’re so reluctant for me to see them; it makes me wonder
what you were like before I met you.” I sulk.

“I’m not proud of the person I used to be but you have to
believe me when I tell you that don’t have anything to do with those guys
anymore.”

“Then why won’t you let me come with you?” I argue.

“Fine. Come with me. I don’t like it but if it’s the only
way I can prove to you that I’m not ashamed then I’ll do it.”

 He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, freeing it from
my teeth. I’d been biting it and I hadn’t even realised.

“You mean it? I can come with you?”

 “Yes, but let’s go now before I change my mind.” He
groans, leaning into me so our foreheads are touching.

“I’m ready when you are.” I say, faking confidence.

I’m really scared all of a sudden, paralysed with fear from
the thought of what I’ve talked myself into.

“You smell
amazing
.” He whispers huskily, pressing
his lips into my neck and inhaling deeply.

“Come on. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come
back.” I duck underneath his arm and hurry for the door, I really want to get
this over with but I’m too much of a coward to admit I’m afraid.  Jake
moans despairingly, allowing me to take his hand and lead him out the door.

He says nothing throughout the entire walk over to his
place and his silence makes me more nervous about what I’m walking into. The
butterflies in my stomach are going crazy, fluttering their tiny little wings,
making my tummy churn. I’m so fearful about finding something out about Jake
that I won’t like; his stormy expression doesn’t help either. I can see he’s
dreading this just as much as I am.

We arrive fifteen minutes later. It’s pretty obvious which
house is Jake’s by the volume of the music blaring down the street. Eminem’s
‘The Monster’ is pouring out of every window in the house. Jake stops and turns
to face me, placing both of his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m going to go in and get Carla to come out here. She can
wait with you whilst I chuck everybody out because I don’t want you out here
alone. Don’t follow me in there; I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He says
firmly.

“Ok.”

“Promise me, Bethany.” He insists, squeezing my shoulders
gently.

“I promise. I’ll wait right here.” I assure him.

He has no reason to doubt me; I have no intention of
venturing into that house. There are lots of people mingling about outside, a
few of them are looking our way, probably wondering what Jake is doing with me,

“Ok, I’ll try and make this quick.”

He kisses my forehead before walking away from me in the direction
of the party. I watch him ignore several greetings people call out to him and
disappear through the front door. I make my way over to the house opposite
Jake’s and lean against the garden wall. Jake said he would send his sister
outside to wait with me and I have to admit, I am really curious to meet her. I
wonder what she’s like, if she’ll be friendly towards me and if she even knows
about me at all. Jake is such a private person, I can’t imagine him telling his
family about me.

A few minutes go by and the music from the party has yet to
stop. Rita Ora’s ‘Radioactive’ is now playing and when I next look upwards the
party, I notice two girls making their way over to me. One of them has long
blonde hair and the other has dark. The blonde has a drink in her hand and is
unsteady on her feet, giving the impression that she’s already consumed plenty
of alcohol tonight. I wonder if the dark haired girl is Carla? I guess she must
be because the blonde one looks nothing like Jake, even though she is exceptionally
beautiful. I can’t help but compare myself to the striking girls, they’re both
gorgeous and I feel ridiculously plain stood next to them.

“Are you with Jake?” The blonde girl demands to know,
looking me up and down like I’m a piece of dirt. Her voice is cruel and I don’t
understand why there’s so much hatred in her eyes. She’s wearing a really short
dress, one that barely conceals her tiny body and I can’t help but notice how
attractive she is. She’s stunning.

“Sorry?” I ask, wondering if I misheard her.

I feel really uncomfortable; every instinct in my body is
telling me to leave and to get out of here. I feel as though I suddenly feel
like I’m surrounded by danger, which is silly because I know Jake is only
inside. However, I can’t shake the unease creeping up my spine.

“Are. You. With. Jake?” She talks slowly, carefully
pronouncing her words as though I’m stupid or hard of learning.

The girl next to her snickers, a cruel smirk plastered on
her face.

“Erm… yes. I’m with him” I mumble, instantly regretting
telling her the truth.

“You’ve finally found the bitch, Sarah.”

The brown haired girl grins, a wicked glint in her eye. It
sends a cold tremble throughout my body and I glance at the house in front of
me, frantically searching for a sign of Jake. There’s no trace of him and
realising something is really wrong here, I decide my safest option is to phone
him. I try to be inconspicuous, reaching for my phone in my pocket. The blonde
girl who I’ve gathered is called Sarah nudges her friend and before I can do
anything to stop it, the friend circles behind me and snatches the phone out of
my hand.