Always In: The Shore Series Book 2 (11 page)

"You look gorgeous, sweetheart. I’m happy to see you."

Mom comes around the kitchen island where we all stand and greets me. She takes my hands and holds out my arms in front of her to get a better look.

"Harlow, your hair, your makeup, this...this dress. You're glowing. And look at all of us. As casual as can be. Flip-flops and T-shirts."

Jeff comes over to me and kisses my cheek. "Flip-flops are the only thing your sister can wear because her feet are so swollen."

Craw is still surveying me. I can't tell if the look on his face is one of approval or one of
what's this all about?
He leans his elbows on the counter and bites the inside of his cheek.

"Craw, stop staring at me. What the hell is wrong with you?"

He straightens up his posture and scratches his head in wonder.

"Should I be asking you the same question?" I look at him, puzzled.

"What are you talking about, Craw? So I have a dress on, so what?" I chuckle.

He shakes his finger at me and purses his lips. "Nah, that's not it. You curled your hair, you are actually wearing eye shadow, and you're wearing a short dress. I can't put my finger on it ’cause this is just family din din. You look like your going to the goddamn Prom."

"Crawford, watch your mouth," my mom rings out.

I ignore Craw's insinuations as Mom tells us all to get ready for dinner. I hobble into the living room to see my beautiful sister on her chaise lounge, looking as big as a whale but also looking so very gorgeous. Two weeks left and I'll have a niece or nephew. I hobble over to her and give her a kiss on the cheek and go right for the belly. My hands run all over her swollen mid section. I place my ear onto her belly and close my eyes. Knowing life is growing inside her, knowing that she is home to this child, knowing I'll never feel that makes me sad, but this is the next best thing.

Again, my family stares at me. They all know my secret. Why I can't have kids and how I struggle with it. Hell, I struggle with it every day. But why not embrace the fact that my sister can perform this miracle? And that's exactly what it is, a miracle. I don't tell them not to stare, what would be the point. I’ve gained their sympathy, not that I wanted to, but it is what it is. I have to move forward in this and not continue to grieve what I can’t have. I can embrace Greta’s ability and enjoy this moment with her.

I put my mouth to Greta's belly. "Hi there, little baby. Hurry up now and come out so I can spoil you rotten." I smile up at Greta and she winks at me.

"You look beautiful, Har."

I rub my sister’s belly and feel a kick. The miracle must have heard me talking to it.

I laugh and look up at Greta is amazement.

Mom, Dad, Jeff, and Craw bring all the food into my sister's living room and we sit around her big coffee table and eat family style. Greta's still on bed rest or couch rest and is only allowed to come down the stairs once a day, so every week we have what we call “The Carpet Picnic”. We laugh, eat, and discuss how everyone’s weeks have been. Dad tells us Grandmother has been trying to get in touch with him. Greta says the same thing but she no longer wants anything to do with her. Greta ignores her phone calls, which is completely different than last year. She was up her ass with the wedding and all but after she found out how she threatened poor Cruz and the threats, Greta broke all ties with her.

Craw tells us how he starts his student teaching next week at my school. I give him a few ins and outs about Grayson-Elders. My family asks about my classes this year and asked how the ice cream social went and I feel quite warm all of the sudden.

After dinner I help clean up, then go back in to sit with Greta for a bit. I paint her toenails for her—such a sisterly thing to do. When it's about a quarter to eight, I announce that I have to leave.

"Where are you going so soon, honey? We haven't had dessert yet," Mom asks.

"I, um, I’m having dessert out tonight. Someone from school wants to have ice cream so I’m headed over to Riley's Ice Cream on Second Street."

Craw stands up, crosses his arms, and looks at me intensely.

"It's not Willow ’cause she's meeting me, Thea, and Porter for drinks later and she made no mention that you weren't coming. I assumed you were."

I go to say goodbye to my family, pecking everyone on their cheeks and rubbing my sister's belly one last time.

"So who from school are you going to meet? Some divorced, middle-aged, lonely troll from the science department?"

"No," I say grabbing my purse.

"Then who?"

"Why is this a game of twenty questions, Craw? What does it matter?"

His brows furrow. "I just want to know that you’re safe, Har. What's wrong with that?"

Now I feel bad for getting a little snippy with him.

"I’m sorry, Craw. It's really no big deal. It's a new teacher. He just moved here from England and doesn't know many people. So I’m going to show him around downtown and we are going for ice cream." I shrug.

"He?" Craw croons out.

He points to me with excitement in his expression, "I knew it, I knew it! You have a fucking date with him! You have a fucking date!"

My family yells at him in unison for using such fowl language.

"Sorry, Ma. But I knew it. Look at her. She looks like one of those Kardashian chicks." He runs his hands through his hair. "I’m going outside to smoke." He leaves for outside in a huff and I have no idea why he's acting like this. It's ice cream for God's sake.

I turn to my parents who obviously have questions. Their faces are motionless, not really allowing me to see approval or disapproval. Blank.

"It's not a date, guys. He just asked me and I said yes. I’m not ready to date. I’m working on me, remember?"

Dad comes over to hug me and kisses my temple.

"We know, sweetie. You are an adult. You make your own choices and we just want you to be happy. Now, your brother may need a little bit more convincing than that. He's very protective of you."

This I know all too well about my brother.

My parents tell me to have fun and I walk out the door preparing myself to run into my brother. He's in my sister's driveway smoking, which I freaking hate, but I deal with it. I walk up behind him.

"It's not really a big deal, you know. It's just ice cream."

He turns at the sound of my voice and then back around, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"By the looks of you it is a big deal."

I step around him so I’m in front. He doesn't look himself. He's not looking at me so I turn his cheek so our eyes meet.

"Hey, you were the one who told me not so long ago to get out, get on with my life and have fun. That's what I’m doing, Craw. Just because I am wearing a tad bit more makeup than usual and I’m finally showing off a little leg, doesn't mean a thing. This is just something that my heart is telling me to do. God knows my damn brain doesn't cooperate half the time. I can't sit around my condo every weekend or hang out with you and Willow and drink beer. I want to meet new people, experience life ’cause you want to know something, brother dear? I almost missed out on that. Life. I have to play catch up."

I smile at him and he still has no expression on his face so I squeeze his cheeks together and I mess up his hair with my fingers.

"Huh, come on, little brother. It's not like I’m running away with the guy and getting married. He has a kid and he's a widower. I think he's lonely. I’ve lived here my whole life so why not show him around so he feels a little more comfortable?"

He shoves my hands away in a playful way.

"I just worry, is all."

I give him a reassuring smile. "I’m fine, Craw."

I don't know if I truly am, but I can't let him know that. I’m nervous as hell, but if I tell him that, it will rile him up even more, so for the person who is constantly worrying about me, I'll skip that part and keep it to myself.

***

So I’ve been cleared to drive again. No more asking Willow to pick me. At first it was a bit scary—not driving for so long—but once I started, it was like riding a bike.

I drive a few miles down the road in Princeton to Riley’s Ice Cream Shop. In my mind it seems to take forever. My hands on the steering wheel are sweaty and unsteady.

I find a parking spot a few stores down and I sit bracing the wheel once again. Breathing in slow breaths and releasing them. I tell myself; it's just ice cream, it's just frigging ice cream. I reapply the gloss Willow gave me for my lips and check my hair.

Why the hell am I doing this?

I open my car door and swing my legs out and straighten out my dress. I look down at my legs. Willow did a good job of covering up some of the bad ones with some heavy makeup, but I know they're there. I accept the fact that they are part of me now and I remember Willow telling me to embrace them, so I'll keep that in my head.

I grab my crutch from the back seat and make my way toward Riley's.

I keep my eyes straight ahead, not looking toward the street, not at the passers by, but I focus on the red and white stripped awning of the ice-cream shop. My eyes suddenly land on something that makes me momentarily stop in my tracks...Daniel.

Oh, fuck me, he's gorgeous.

He rises from one of the outdoor tables and walks a few steps to greet me. He has on jeans and a blue and white striped button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up half way. He is devastatingly handsome and he almost steals my breath.

Damn.

He reaches me and smiles with his beautiful lips. His jeweled eyes are alight with warmth and welcome.

"Oh, wow. You look…you look absolutely lovely, Miss Hannum."

Why, oh why does it do things to my belly when he calls me Miss Hannum?

"Well, thank you, Mr. Mathewson." I smile at him and his brightens even more sending my head spinning a bit.

Christ.

Smiling broadly he asks, "Shall we take a seat?" I nod and he links my arm with his and I get the shivers and a noseful of whatever his delectable scent that proves to be a heady combination.

Daniel pulls a chair out for me to sit and I rest my crutch on another chair that's at our table. He doesn't sit. He stands there looking at me, and then blinks. "Oh, I um, strawberry, right?" I’m too busy staring at his eyes, his tanned skin, and his tall, lean physique.

I think I have major problems.

I break from the trance his eyes have me under.

"Oh, yes, yes. Thank you. Ice cream, right, right."

He winks and steps away to get our ice cream. I feel my phone buzz and see it's a text from Willow.

did his British arse butter ur biscuit yet? :-) Do you need me to bring you a change of panties?

The woman is unbelievable. I’m here thirty seconds and she wants to know if I hopped in bed with him. I power down my phone with no second thought. She'll be pissed later, but oh, well. I stick it back in my purse before Daniel starts to make his way back.

He places my dish in front of me.

"I wasn't sure if you were a Jimmie or whipped cream kind of girl, so I just left it plain. I suppose I should have asked you that first." He looks a little flustered.

I let out a laugh. "Daniel, it's fine. This is absolutely perfect."

He looks up at me through his long lashes. "So is the woman sitting across from me. Really, Harlow, you look breathtakingly beautiful this evening."

Oh, sweet Lord, here come the sweats again.

I feel my cheeks heat up and it's not that I’m embarrassed. It's just that...I don't know. Jesus, I need to get a grip because I have no idea why so many thoughts are swarming through my head.

We start to eat our dessert and it's quiet for a few minutes.

"So how was supper with your family?"

I swallow my spoonful. "It was great. My sister is getting ready to give birth any second now so us all being together was great. Where is Henry?"

Daniel wipes his mouth with a napkin and places it back down on the table. "He's with my sister, Ally."

"Sister?" I question.

"Yes. She moved here with us when I decided to come live in the States. She helps take care of Henry for me. Sort of a nanny. I pay her and she lives with us."

"May I ask how old Henry is?"

You can see Daniel's face light up whenever his son’s name is spoken.

"He will be five in August, the wee lad." Daniel laughs.

"He is adorable. How do you do it though? I mean I’m sure your sister is a huge help, but raising a child on your own, it's very noble."

"Nobility has nothing to do with it unfortunately."

I feel bad for saying that the way I did and automatically begin to apologize. "Daniel, I’m sorry I didn't mean—" He grabs my hand from across the table and pats it. At that moment I feels a million goose bumps travel up my arm, to my neck, then to my chest. I can feel my nipples harden under my shirt.

Hard nipples? Someone save me. I could cut glass right now.

I shiver. "Are you cold, Harlow? Did you bring a cardigan?”

I chuckle and ask, “What’s a cardigan? Like a sweater?”

He grins at me and shakes his head as he grazes the five-o’clock shadow on his face.

Sexy.

“I’m sorry. Yes. Like a sweater with buttons down the front.”

"Um, no, no. I’m fine. Must be the ice cream making me cold."

I am a big, fat, hard-nippled liar.

Daniel let's go my hand and settles back in his chair.

"You must have a lot of questions for me," he asks.

I do, but is it rude to ask the ones I have? If he tells me to ask away, then I will. I wouldn't be surprised if had any for me. The half a cripple.

"I guess."

Grow some balls, Harlow.

I straighten up in my chair a bit.

"Yes, I do. When did you decide to come to America?"

His eyes look down to the table and he scratches at the five o'clock shadow on his face.

"My wife, Emily, was killed in a car accident two years ago. Henry was almost three. He doesn't really remember her. Only from pictures and video."

My heart sinks and I look at Daniel's face and the pain that still resides there when he speaks of her.