Alyssa's Desire (5 page)

Chapter Four: Bail Denied

   
It didn't take long for Alyssa to start getting hits on her dating profile. So many men responded to her that it was a bit overwhelming. Some of the responses were easy to weed out. These were the perverts who somehow found it appropriate to send her pictures of their junk taken from their cell phones. Others were just ignorant in the way they propositioned her. One guy wrote, "You look like fun, wanna get your pussy pounded tonight?" 
Asshole
. Alyssa thought to herself as she deleted his email. Despite all the jackasses who responded, Alyssa was feeling pretty good about the dating site. There were a lot of emails from decent sounding guys and several of them were pretty good looking too. She sent replies to a few of her favorites and then she figured she would just wait and see what happens.

    While at work, Alyssa tried really hard not to think about Jack or watch him as he walked by her desk. She forced herself to resist the fantasies that crept into her thoughts when he was near. She tried her absolute best not to lust after him, but when he smiled at her or spoke to her the result was always the same. He always left her wishing he was hers. Some days it was even harder to resist thinking of him than others.

     Three days after Alyssa signed up for the dating site was a prime example. Jack had asked her to step in on a case he was working on. It was her first opportunity to work with him. It was only a minor case and basically all she had to do was draft up a motion for one of his clients and do some paperwork. He didn't even really talk to her except when he was bringing her files or collecting her work, but she could see him all day long. They were in the same room together and she could see his incredible smile, smell his cologne, delight in the sexy way that he leaned back in his chair and tapped his pen in the air while he read his documents. God, she could listen to his calming yet commanding voice all day long.

    Alyssa only got the opportunity to work with Jack for two days until the case was over. Then he told her she did a fantastic job and then she had to return to her regular duties and her cubicle in the main room. It was a wonderful two days though, but oh how she wanted him. Being that close to him certainly made it more difficult for her to even think about letting go. By the time the weekend came she had forgotten all about how
jealous she was of Jack's ex-wife and about how she convinced herself to stop thinking about him. The truth is, Alyssa wanted him even more than she did before.

   On Saturday morning, Alyssa tried to focus on cleaning her apartment and taking care of some other chores, but her thoughts were of Jack. The couple of days she had spent in his presence left her floating on a cloud. She was leaning against her mop handle thinking of how incredible he looked in his Armani suit that the sudden ringing of her home phone took her by surprise. She didn't get many calls
at home; almost everyone called her cell instead. She looked at the caller ID. It said New York State Police. A feeling of dread over took Alyssa.

   
"Hello?" she answered meekly.

   
"Alyssa?" It was her mother's voice. "Please don't hang up because this is my only call. I've been arrested."

   
"Arrested, for what?" Alyssa demanded in a mixture of shock and anger.

   
"Prostitution mostly…"

   
"What do you mean by mostly?" Alyssa questioned. A sickness swelled in Alyssa's stomach as she awaited her mother's response.

   
"There may be a small charge for possession as well."

   
Alyssa sighed with obvious frustration. She closed her eyes and started to sink to the floor. Then she fought back her tears and stood upright once again. She brought the phone back up to her ear.

    "Are you asking for bail?" Alyssa asked angrily.

    "It's fifty thousand, but you know you only really need five grand cash and something to use as collateral.

    "Yeah, well I don't have that, Mom and I can't get it! I already spent every goddamned cent I had getting you out of trouble the last time. Speaking of which, you were supposed to either get clean or starting paying me back and obviously you have not made any effort to do either one. Where do you think I am going to get another five thousand dollars from? Not to mention that I do not own anything that I can use as collateral for the rest of the bond. I can't exactly pull money out of my ass!"  There were a few long moments of silence and soft crying before Alyssa's mother spoke again. She sniffed and then she made a bold suggestion.

    "Do you…do you remember Trevor Barnes? He's the man you met the last time you were at my place, when I borrowed the money from you." Valerie asked her daughter through gentle sobs.

    "Yes, mother I remember him quite well. What about him? Please tell me you don't owe him any more money!"

    "He might be willing to lend you the money in exchange for a date. He did express in interest in you." This comment was met with cold silence. Valerie's suggestion was simply unfathomable! After several very long seconds, Alyssa finally responded with the coldest and harshest tone that Valerie had ever heard from her daughter.

   "Sorry, Mother. I'm not like you. I don't fuck for money."

    Alyssa slammed the phone down and then she fell to the floor in her kitchen. She laid there on the linoleum, sobbing uncontrollably for nearly forty-five minutes. Snot and tears ran down her face and covered the floor beneath her head. She knew that hanging up on her mother and refusing to help meant that her mother would likely disown her. She knew that it meant that they may never speak again and that she had turned her back on her mom in a time of great need. She also knew though, that this was her mother's only real chance at getting the help that she so desperately needed. She had to hit bottom and hit it hard to see that she had a real problem, one that would cost her everything if she didn't get clean. Alyssa's decision had been made out of love but it still stung deep inside her heart.

    When Alyssa finally stopped crying she made herself get up off of the kitchen floor. She got out her mop once more and she cleaned the floor where she had been lying. Then she got a glimpse of her appearance in the hall way mirror. Her face and eyes was red and her nose was running. Her hair was all matted up on the side and she looked simply dreadful. Frustrated she made her way to the shower, where she just ended up crying some more.

    After taking her shower, Alyssa decided to go to the gym for a good workout. She hadn't been to the gym in a very long time because of her long hours at work. Alyssa was mad at herself for not keeping up with her exercises. She wanted to look nice for Jack, but the truth is that Alyssa spent more of her free time masturbating than anything else since she had first met him. This was a truly enjoyable activity but it didn't leave a lot of time for exercise. Today she needed a different kind of release. When Alyssa got to the gym she did a few quick stretches and then she headed for the treadmills. She turned on her ipod and blasted hard rock music to fuel her energy as she ran as long and as hard as she could. The treadmill featured a screen that displayed running paths from all over the world. She set it to Barcelona and she just lost herself in the music and the display screen. When she could finally reached the point where she couldn't run anymore, she realized that she had put nine miles on the treadmill. Her average was about three so she figured she would be feeling this workout the next day.

   Feeling exhausted from her run, Alyssa decided to go over to the smoothie bar to refuel. She ordered a
Tropical Blast, which was a delicious mix of pineapple, cherries, coconut, mangoes and bananas with a little whey protein and wheat germ for an added kick. While she was waiting for her drink she was kind of spacing out, still lost in the upset of what had happened with her mother. She didn't even notice when her coworker, June sat down beside her.

    "Alyssa?" June asked. Still lost in her own thoughts, it took a minute for Alyssa to notice that June was there and that she was talking to her.

    "Oh, June! I'm sorry. I'm having a really bad day and I was kind of lost in my thoughts. I honestly didn't see you there. God I hope you didn't think I was being rude or ignoring you or something," Alyssa spoke as tears started streaming down her face. She looked at June with an apologetic smile and an aura of sadness surrounded her very being.

   "Honey, are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?" June asked as she placed her hand on Alyssa's shoulder in a comforting gesture. June tried to look directly at Alyssa, but she kept her head turned away in an attempt to hide her tears. Finally it became too much and Alyssa reached for a napkin from the bar and she wiped away her tears and blew her nose as quietly as she could.

  "No, I don't want to bother you with my problems. We don't even know each other that well," said Alyssa shyly. She was clearly embarrassed by her open display of emotion. June noticed this and she figured that perhaps talking about personal business in a public place would add to Alyssa's distress, so she made another suggestion.

   "Come on, Alyssa. I live nearby. Let me make you some lunch and we'll talk it out. I know we don't know each other all that well, but I am a good listener and it seems like you need to unload."

    After a few more moments of persuasive conversation, June finally convinced Alyssa to come to her apartment. The two girls left the gym together on foot and they walked down the street. June lived only two blocks away in a high-rise apartment building.  It was definitely a nicer place than where Alyssa lived. When they got up to June's apartment, Alyssa marveled at how beautifully decorated it was. June had matching furniture and elegant art pieces. She had an abundance of plants and sculptures, and area rugs that complimented everything else just perfectly.

    
Alyssa was envious of both June's sense of style and at the amount of money that she had in the apartment. It seemed unfair that they did the same job, for the same employers and yet June came home to elegance while Alyssa came home to Ramen noodles and thrift store furniture. Alyssa had to remind herself that she had only been working for Coleman, Patters and Schleicher for about two months and June had been there for years. No doubt June made a higher wage than the new hires, plus she probably didn't have any drug addicted family members bleeding her dry every time they got themselves into trouble.

    "Your apartment is absolutely stunning!" Alyssa exclaimed. It was a genuine compliment despite her jealousy.

    "Thank you, Alyssa. Look I know we don't know each other very well, but I think we could become good friends. It seems like you are going through a lot right now and I want to be here for you. So I'm just gonna make us some lunch and some drinks and then we'll talk about it, okay?"

     June smiled and then she made her way into the kitchen where she prepared turkey wraps and Mai Tai's. June even adorned the drinks with a sprig of fresh mint and orange slices.
Oh my God, even her drinks are classy.
Alyssa thought to herself as she fought to suppress her jealousy. Despite Alyssa's envious thoughts, the two girls had a pleasant lunch and they each drank about three of the exotic cocktails before Alyssa was ready to talk. It still took a fair amount of coaxing, but Alyssa told June all about her mother and her childhood. She talked about growing up in poverty as a result of her mom's addiction issues. Then she told June about her mother getting mixed up with heroin and about the money that she had to borrow to prevent her mom from being killed by the dealer. She reluctantly talked about making a deal with her mom to either get clean or repay the loan only to find out that her mom had been turning tricks to fuel her habit and that she was now sitting in a jail cell as a result. Alyssa was a bit afraid to tell anyone about all of this. She was embarrassed and afraid of what people would think of her and her family if they knew, but June did not show any signs of judgment. Instead June just listened and regarded Alyssa with sincere understanding.

    "Do you think I was wrong to tell her that I wouldn't help her? Was I wrong to hang up on her? Tell me honestly." Alyssa asked after she had finished telling the story. June thought about it for a few seconds before responding.

   "No, I think you did the right thing. Bailing her out would have just enabled her more. This is her best chance to turn her life around. I am sorry though, for what it's worth," said June as reassuringly as she could. She reached out and touched Alyssa's hand gently and gingerly caressed it for a moment before letting go. Alyssa was taken aback by this gesture. Was June coming on to her? It wasn't like Alyssa had never entertained the idea of being with another woman but the thought of being comforted as a ruse to gain her trust left Alyssa feeling sick to her stomach. She felt like maybe June was trying to take advantage of her.

   
Alyssa wasn't sure if she had mistaken the gesture and June's intentions toward her, but either way she felt very uncomfortable. On the other hand, June had been kind and comforting and Alyssa did not want to hurt her feelings. So Alyssa stayed for about forty-five more minutes before she indicated that she wanted to go home. During that time she still talked about her mother's situation. Then after a while she told June that she was tired from the events of the day and that she would see her at work. Alyssa thanked June for lunch and for being a good friend and listener and then she left.