Amber Brown Is Green with Envy (7 page)

Kelly Green has a mobile phone, parents who are still married to each other, and she has no problems.

I, Amber Brown, am green with envy about my friend Kelly Green.

That makes Kelly a green without envy.

She is so lucky.

And she has a sheepdog too, named Darth Vader….. a dog that doesn’t even mind when we put nail polish on his toes. She
has a cat, Fluffy…who doesn’t let us polish her toes.

I can’t have animals because my mom is allergic to them.

I hope that wherever we move once had a kennel of dogs and cats living in the house, and the animal hair is still all over the place, even in the paint in the walls. That will give my mother something to sneeze at.

Brandi sighs. “Amber, I am so sorry that I can’t come over too. But I have a music lesson and my parents said that if I don’t go to my lessons, I have to pay out of my allowance for the ones I miss…unless I’m sick….. and there is no way that I can say that I am sick and then go over to Kelly’s house.”

Brandi says, “I’ll call you tonight. Gotta go now.”

Kelly talks into the phone for a minute and then smiles, turns off the call and puts the phone into her backpack. “Mom said
it’s fine for you to come over to the house. She’s going to call your mom to make sure that it is okay with her….. and then your mom will call the school and let them know that it is okay.”

Mrs. Green and Max are the two grownups, other than my parents, who can take me out of school….. and my parents have it worked out that when one of them takes me out of school for something, then the other one has to give permission.

Not all of the kids in school have to have both parents’ permissions, but some do. I think it’s a divorce thing.

I know that neither of my parents would kidnap me. I know that’s why there is the sign-up thing. They don’t think that kids can figure that out, but we can. My parents would never do that….. unless moving counts as kidnapping.

Kelly and I wait for her mom in front of the office.

“Ms. Brown. Ms. Green.” Mrs. Parker, one of the fifth-grade teachers, comes up to us. “Aren’t you two quite the colorful pair! Brown and Green. It sounds like a meeting of Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts.”

Today, I am not in the mood to hear colorful jokes.

I wonder if I said something to Mrs. Parker about her name, how she would feel about that.

I think what I could say….. like “If you are a twin, does that make you a double-parker?”

Mrs. Green arrives before I say anything.

That’s probably a good thing.

I, Amber Brown, am getting grumpy…and that’s not a good thing.

The way that I’m feeling now is not like me.

I’m really mad, and I can’t seem to get out of my mood.

I’ve never been this mad….. not even
when my dad left our house and moved into an apartment….. not even when my dad moved to Paris.

I was more confused and hurt then. Also, I was worried about how my mom felt, and I thought that it was my job to take care of her.

This is different.

Taking a deep breath, I try to figure things out.

I’m not confused.…I know what is happening. My parents are very angry with each other. Max, who I’ve never seen angry, is angry at my dad. My dad is angry with Mom and Max. Sometimes they get angry at me because I am not thinking or doing things the way that they each want. I am angry at my parents and Max.

I’m hurt…. but not like I was when my parents broke up. I don’t think that anything can ever hurt as much as that.

I don’t want to take care of anybody…not
my mom…. not my dad…. not Max. I want them to take care of me. After all, I am the kid.

Kelly and I get into her mom’s van.

I, Amber Brown, have noticed that most families have vans. Mom and I don’t because there are only the two of us. Mom always calls vans “the taxis of the suburbs.” Even with Max, I don’t think that we are going to need a van. Only big families with animals need vans. Three people don’t need that much room. We don’t have cats. We don’t have dogs. We don’t have lots of children, just me….. and that is more than enough for a regular car. I like our car.

The van is full.

Darth Vader is in the very back of the van in his cage. He doesn’t like being in his cage, but if he’s not, he jumps around the car, licking everything and slobbering. Lick and slobber. Slobber and lick. People. Upholstery. Windows. He’s one very odd lick-and-slobber dog.

The groceries are in the backseat section.

Kelly’s baby brother and little sister are in the seats behind the driver’s seat.

The kitchen sink is on the seat next to Mrs. Green.

Actually, I, Amber Brown, am just kidding.

It’s not the sink….. just a new faucet for the kitchen sink.

We get into the section with the groceries.

Kelly’s little sister and brother are in the seats in front of us.

Linda, who is three, is singing
Sesame Street
songs to her Barney.

I just don’t like that dinosaur, even if he is my favorite color, purple.

Joey is asleep. Little bits of spit are coming out of his tiny mouth. He must be getting lessons from Darth Vader. At least he doesn’t lick, at least not yet.

We get to Kelly’s house and help unload the car.

Mrs. Green looks tired.

Linda wants to show us how she and Barney can dance together.

Joey starts crying.

Before I remember how angry I am at
my mom, I think about how nice and quiet it is in our house.

Then I remember how angry I am at my mom, and I don’t care to think of anything nice about her and the house that we are going to leave.

Linda opens a box of cereal that Mrs. Green has just unpacked.

Before we can stop her, she has shredded the box and there is cereal all over the kitchen floor.

She really murdered that box of Alpha-Bits.

That makes Linda a cereal killer.

I laugh so much when I think of that…“cereal killer,” serial killer. Sometimes I really crack myself up.

We help clean it up, and then go to Kelly’s room to do our homework.

I write my thank-you note to Mr. Robinson.

Kelly keeps writing her thank-you note.

She won’t tell me who it is for.

I look at her bookshelf while she is finishing up.

Kelly has such good books….. we share our books.

Kelly finishes.

“Amber Marie Brown,” she says, “I want you to read this.”

She hands it to me.

It’s her homework assignment, her thank-you note.

I, Amber Brown, remember that day.

I’d overslept. My teeth weren’t brushed. My hair wasn’t combed.

Hannah was mean to me.

And then Mrs. Holt asked me to show Kelly Green around. At first, I was a little bit upset that someone else had a colorful name.

I continue reading Kelly’s letter.

I also remember that….. it was Ping-Pong Barf.

I made a stop at the nurse’s office with Kelly, and we saw this little boy throw up.

Kelly threw up when she saw the kid lose his cookies…and then he threw up again and then she lost hers again. It was not great to look at….. or to smell.

Actually, that’s not quite true. I got very upset when they went to the mall without me and got their ears pierced….. even though it wasn’t their fault…they asked me to go but my mom said no.

I reread the letter.

It makes me want to cry.

It also makes me want to smile.

It makes me feel better about being able to take care of myself, no matter what happens.

My dad left, and I survived.

Justin left, and I survived.

And if I have to move, and if my parents keep on fighting, I’ll survive….. and I’ll
do it Amber Brown style…. and that’s okay.

I know that now….. and I only hope that I don’t forget it.