An Heir to Bind Them (10 page)

“It’s fine, I understand,” he said, and strangely, kind of did. His chest filled with pressure at the way his sister was smothering the life out of Androu. Her eyes were closed, her lashes wet. He had a new understanding of how precious their babies were to them and was suffused with a weird self-conscious pride that he’d been able to keep their offspring safe for them, whether they had really trusted him to do so or not.

“I knew he’d be fine. He knows you,” Adara said, voice thick. “But Gideon threw you into the deep end with both of them. I’m glad you called Jaya—she’s perfect—but what made you think of her? How did you know she was here? Where
is
she?”

Before Theo could get past the suffocation provoked by questions about Jaya, she said, “I’m here.”

They all turned toward her voice.

“Sorry,” she said with a flash of anxious eyes at Theo. “The commotion woke him and he needs a drink.”

Zephyr looked sweaty and flushed, hair damp and pushed up in tufts around the face he buried in Jaya’s neck to hide.

Theo moved to fetch the boy’s cup, distancing himself from something he didn’t want to face, then kicked himself just as quickly. This was exactly the kind of abandonment he would hate himself for inflicting on his son. Or Jaya, for that matter.

“I’m sorry we spoiled his nap,” he heard Rowan say and glanced across to see her peeking at the boy over his mother’s shoulder. “What’s your name?”

“Baby Zepper,” Evie provided from her happy perch on Nic’s bent arm.

“Zephyr,” Jaya corrected softly, smiling at Evie. “You’ve been my best little helper, haven’t you? She’s been very sweet with both of them.”

“Zephyr,” Rowan repeated. “That’s lovely. Greek god of wind, right?”

Theo absorbed the meaning, wondering if it was a deliberate reference to his love of piloting, thinking,
I really don’t deserve her,
as he crossed with Zephyr’s sipping cup.

“Thanks,” Jaya said with a flickering gaze of apprehension as he approached. She rubbed Zephyr’s back to get his attention. “Want your cup, sweetie?”

Zephyr lifted his head and spied the cup, but rather than wait for Jaya to take it, he leaned out for Theo.

Theo was getting used to the boy’s impulsive launches. He caught him in what was becoming a practiced scoop and hitched him up against his chest. The air in his lungs stopped moving as he held the cup for the boy, aware of how telling his actions were, how much like a father he must appear. How close a copy of Androu Zephyr was.

Zephyr’s little hands settled over his big one while profound silence fell over the room like a dome.

Theo forced himself to lift his gaze and meet each pair of stunned eyes. They had to be reading guilt in him. It sprang from ignoring Jaya’s attempts to contact him and thinking he could ignore someone as important as his son. He was ashamed of himself, not Zephyr.

Disgust with himself made him blurt, “He’s mine,” aware that it was the clumsiest possible way he could have announced it, but he couldn’t dance around it. Not when Nic was drilling him a look that said,
You lucky bastard.

His half brother blinked and the envy was gone, replaced by a doting smile at Evie, but it was the reinforcement Theo needed to keep inching across the hot coals cooking him from the soles of his feet to his collar. Maybe he wasn’t doing this well, but he’d figured out what was right and he’d do that much.

In his periphery, he saw Jaya lift an uncertain hand then fold her arms defensively.
Don’t,
he wanted to say.
Don’t be embarrassed for me. I don’t care how stupid I look, only that I not fail where it counts.

Over Zephyr’s loud gulps, Androu made a noise and put out his hand.

“I told you before, sport,” Theo said, trying to sound normal while emotions log-jammed in his throat. “Yours is the green one. It’s on his tray,” he told Adara, nodding to the high chair where Androu had been sitting before she arrived.

He hoped she’d move away and begin to defuse this charged moment, but she didn’t. Her gaze was fixed on Zephyr’s face.

The boy looked at her with his unblinking brown eyes. Makricosta eyes.

“Theo.” She spoke his name with myriad inflections. Shock, awe, surprise, approval. Exasperated
dis
approval.

As he braced himself for whatever she would say, he felt a feminine hand rest on his biceps. Jaya. If he’d had a free hand, he would have wrapped it around her waist and pulled her in close. He might be willing to face the scrutiny of his family without apology, but it wasn’t easy. How such a slight woman could be his shield against them, he didn’t understand, but he had an intense need to wield her in just that way.

“He didn’t know,” Jaya said. The tips of her fingers dug into his tense arm. “Not until I told him yesterday.”

Had it only been a day?

He drew in a breath, realizing he’d neglected to take in air for several seconds. Looking into Jaya’s eyes, he let her know she didn’t have to protect him
that
much. It was his own damned fault he hadn’t known about his son.

It’s okay,
she seemed to reassure with a softening of her touch on his arm.
Our secret.
And therein lay her appeal. He feared every stumble, too used to being knocked down a second time for daring to err. She was a forgiving person, though. She was so softhearted, she’d help him to his feet after a face-plant. He wanted to kiss her for it.

Hell, he wanted to kiss her, period. He dragged himself free of their locked stare in time to hear Rowan ask Nic, “Will it be a full Indian wedding, do you think? I’ve always wanted to go to one.”

Jaya’s touch on his arm fell away.

Theo stiffened, struck anew by rejection.

“I’m making assumptions, aren’t I?” Rowan said with a blush and a reach for her daughter. “Come on, Evie, let’s find Androu’s cup for him.”

“I’ll help,” Nic said, taking Androu as he passed Adara. “Drink, champ?”

Jaya watched the Viking blond media mogul and his petite wife distance themselves toward the kitchen, leaving Adara staring at their ill at ease vignette.

Zephyr was comfortable enough, she supposed, taking a break from draining his cup to huff a breath and stare after his cousins, but she was hyper-conscious of Theo statue-stiff next to her.

“Will he come to me?” Adara asked, approaching with hands raised.

Her intense focus, the way she caught her breath as Zephyr went to her, the way she enfolded him and pressed her smile into his hair, all made Jaya want to turn her crinkling forehead into Theo’s chest.

Having Zephyr accepted by Theo’s sister was beyond her dreams. She wished she’d known it would go this well or she might have tried harder to reach him. She might have gone directly to Adara.

“I should have—” Jaya began.

“Don’t.” He caught her wrist. “
I
should have,” he said, as if he knew what she’d been about to say. His hand slid to mesh with hers, palm to palm, fingers entwined.

It was such a startling gesture she could only cling to him, at sea as to how to react. He’d surprised her by claiming Zephyr so openly when she’d been expecting to be treated like a dirty little secret. Having him hold her hand as if there was something between them besides a baby was a kind of magic she knew she shouldn’t believe in, but she wanted to.

“I never thought I’d hold your baby,” Adara said with a misty smile. “I hoped Androu would rub off on you, but— Wait a minute. How old is he?” She pulled back to study the boy, eyes narrow as she lifted them to Theo’s culpable swallow.

“It was—” Jaya started to excuse, but Theo squeezed her hand. Her entire being was warmed by his firm grip, radiating heat up her arm and into her chest.

“I’m not going to offer excuses—or details. Fire me if you have to,” Theo said.

Adara gave him a look between stern and maddened. “I’ll assume that if you deserved to be fired, you’d say so. Demitri is the one that needs reminders about employees being off-limits. Besides, I can’t be mad. We have a nephew. Gideon will be over the moon.” She smiled at Zephyr as the boy reached for Jaya, letting him go.

Jaya had to pull her hand free of Theo’s to take Zephyr and secure him on her hip.

In the carefully emotionless way that Jaya was more familiar seeing in Adara she heard her ask Theo, “What
are
your plans?”

In the blink of one glance, a lot of teeming undercurrents were exchanged between brother and sister. It niggled at Jaya in a way she couldn’t interpret. They seemed almost telepathic and it made her feel left out.

She imagined there were considerations with regards to the Makricosta fortune, though. Publicity to finesse and old-fashioned concern for family. Given Theo’s dismay at learning he was a father, she expected him to request Zephyr’s existence be kept quiet.

With an impactful look at Jaya, Theo became super tall, his posture and air very authoritative. She’d seen him take a hard line when it came to accounting rules, but had never seen him turn such an uncompromising look on her.

“I don’t want to miss any more of Zephyr’s life than I have,” he said.

Oh.
Jaya’s heart fluttered, surprised by this evolution in his attitude. He’d been tentative yesterday, but she supposed that had been shock. This morning he’d seemed to accept he had a son, even if it had still been a perplexing addition to his life.

Now she could see acknowledgment had moved into something more implacable that was both heartening and threatening. It had never occurred to her that she might have to fight him for her child, but she saw something in his eyes that was resolute and possessive. Something that told her Zephyr had taken up residence inside him in a way she’d been dreaming of doing since Day One.

Why did that make her jealous? She ought to be happy.

“We haven’t agreed on how we’re moving forward,” Theo continued. “But whether it’s a big wedding or not—I’ll be pushing for marriage.”

CHAPTER NINE

T
HE
WORDS
CAME
between them in an eclipse-like flash. For a second Jaya couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see.

No.
She’d already told him no. Hadn’t he heard her? But what she’d really been refusing was a marriage of convenience. If he loved her... Did he?

And how could he just announce it like that to his sister without consulting—without even
asking
her first?

“I haven’t convinced Jaya yet,” Theo said, taking the weight of his penetrating stare back to his sister.

Oh, sure, put it all on me,
Jaya thought, working to keep a scowl off her face. Her instinct was to protest, but she didn’t want to draw Adara into it. Given the look exchanged between Nic and Rowan as they returned from the kitchen, they’d heard Theo, adding to her feeling of being outnumbered.

No one needed to know her reasons for refusing to marry except maybe Theo and she’d share that only if and when it felt right.

“We haven’t had much time to talk about anything except whose turn it is to change a bottom,” Jaya murmured, stroking a hand over Androu’s tousled hair as he toddled after Evie to their play area in the lounge.

“Understood,” Nic said. “And we’re incredibly grateful for your help. If you ever need anything, please let us know.”

“I expect we’ll be seeing a lot of each other regardless,” Rowan said with a warm smile. “Evie’s forever begging for Androu and seems equally rapt with Zephyr. I expect a few tears when we leave, to be honest. Brace yourself. She has a tender little heart.”

It was true. After thirty minutes of letting the children have a last play together while the adults gathered up toys and clothes, they congregated at the door. Evie broke into pieces when she realized the other children wouldn’t be coming with her to Greece.

“Peas, Papa,” she begged through her tears.

“I’m sorry, but they have to live with their own mamas.”

She wasn’t trying to manipulate; she was genuinely heartbroken, weeping into his shoulder with loss.

Her suffering twisted Jaya’s heart so badly she found herself promising to bring Zephyr for a visit.

After a tearful kiss and hug from the girl, she said goodbye and was emotionally wrung out as she and Theo moved into the quiet lounge.

“Did I just promise a two-year-old I’d fly to Greece to see her?” Jaya collapsed into a chair. “I can’t afford that.”

Theo gave her a dry, are-you-kidding look. “Nic has his own plane and so do I.” He leaned back on the sofa, hands behind his head, gaze lifting from where Zephyr sat on the floor rattling the stuffing out of a toy bear. “I’ll take you as soon as we work out a convenient time.”

Her heart lifted while her stomach swooped. The word
honeymoon
blinked like a lighthouse flash in her mind, but she turned away from it. She stared at their baby rather than looking at Theo, nervous of the masculine energy he was projecting. He might appear relaxed, but they were alone now, the buffer of activity gone. The full force of his male magnetism was blasting into her, stronger than she remembered it.

“You’re assuming a lot,” she said, leaning forward to remove a hard toy from behind Zephyr. “I’m not quitting my job. I’m not marrying you.”

Silence, then, “I realize I threw that at you from left field.”

“You did,” she snapped. “That wasn’t fair.”

“I didn’t mean to, but...” He sat forward, swearing as he rubbed his face. “Both Adara and Rowan had fertility issues. I could see Nic was thinking anyone who would turn away from the chance to be a father—”

“Are you seriously saying that the only reason you want to be in Zephyr’s life is to avoid being judged by your family?” She
lived
that hell, but it was because she was determined to stay true to herself. For him to buckle to their expectations was a very dishonest start to his relationship with Zephyr, something she wouldn’t tolerate no matter the consequences.

“No, it reinforced to me what a gift he is. Not everyone has the luxury of one night producing a baby. Yes, this has been hard for me to come to terms with.” He waved a confounded hand at their son, but a subtle tenderness crept beneath his hard visage as he watched Zephyr discover his own toes and try to catch them in his waving hand. “I’m still not convinced I’m father material, but Nic figured it out. Maybe I’ve got a shot. And if there’s one thing my childhood taught me, it’s how to avoid making mistakes, especially big ones. Turning my back on my son would be a terrible one.”

He was saying all the right things, but rather than creating a sense of relief in her, he was undermining her defenses. She needed resentment to keep her from tumbling back into the depths of her crazy crush on him. That sort of weakness would complicate things. She’d start thinking about what she wanted, rather than what she and Zephyr needed.

“We still don’t have to marry,” she mumbled.

“What would living together do to your relationship with your family?”

“You want to live together?” The words dissolved everything around her so nothing had substance. She was falling, unable to grasp anything that would ground her.

“Yesterday you pointed out that I don’t stick around to develop relationships. It’s true. If I want to know my son, I have to be near him. Physically.” He frowned as he said it, like he wasn’t sure, but would give it a try.

That’s all she needed, to let him become a daily part of her life then have him quit on her. “I don’t want to live with you,” she insisted.

“Why not? You live with Quentin. I’ll pay for everything.”

Back to money. Was there a problem in his world that he wouldn’t try to buy his way out of?

“I value my independence,” she said.

“But you’re not independent,” he countered. “You have a son. You and I are connected through him and that makes us interdependent.” He pointed between them, as if running lines of webbing that stitched them together. He didn’t seem any happier about it than she was. “We have to compromise for his best interest. We’ll have to do that for the rest of our lives. There’s no getting around that.”

Hurt that he was only trying to make a life with her because he thought it was the ethical thing to do, she rose to pace, winding up facing a window, arms folded.

“I grew up fighting tooth and nail for every decision I wanted to make for myself. I won’t have the same fight with you. I won’t give up and do as I’m told. You’re making me feel like I have to live with you. That I have to marry you. I already live with a lot of have-to’s as a result of my choosing to have Zephyr.”

“You think I don’t know how it feels to live under someone else’s rules?” he countered. “You think I enjoy calculating interest rates and double-checking the inventory of hand towels? There’s a difference between being subjugated and placing duty to family above self-interest. My father isn’t around to disinherit me if I quit my job. I stay for Adara’s sake, because I want her to succeed. Although we’ll have to make adjustments to my duties if I’m going to spend any time with you and Zephyr.”

He muffled a curse behind his hand, glowering while his gaze turned inward.

Her stomach did a flip flop, latching too tightly onto his
with you.
She shook it off, not wanting to be so easily drawn in by him. Turning, she considered the dual notes of frustration and sincerity in his voice.

“You hate your job?” she prompted.

He quirked the tight line of his lips before saying, “Don’t tell Adara.” He shrugged that off. “I don’t really hate it, not anymore, but it’s not what I would have chosen for myself. My father pushed me into it. He would have taken it out on Adara if I’d rebelled so I kept the peace and took an Econ degree. The work is more enjoyable now that she trusts my numbers and makes the kinds of decisions we always knew were the better ones. We actually see the profits we’re looking for. I was constantly set up for failure while my father was alive. That was hell.”

She came back to sit across from him. Linking her hands, she pressed her knuckles to her mouth. “I think I hate your father,” she admitted in a muted voice. The man bore a lot of blame for Theo’s inability to give her what she wanted from him.

“Join the club,” he retorted, then expelled a tired breath. “But he’s gone so do what I do. Forget him.”

Releasing her inner lip from the bite of her teeth, she added, “He is gone, so don’t turn me into something you think you have to do. You have a choice, too, Theo.”

“I do,” he agreed and hitched forward on the edge of the sofa. “That’s what I’m saying. I’m not acting from a sense of duty, although I feel a pretty strong one toward both of you. It’s a different kind of ‘have to.’ The kind that means I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t do what’s right by the two of you.”

Which framed her refusal to marry him as inexcusable selfishness.

“I can appreciate that you want to be part of Zephyr’s life.” She couldn’t countenance anything less herself. “But live together? Like as roommates?”

“If that’s what you prefer.” He blinked once, keeping his expression neutral so she couldn’t tell what he really thought of the arrangement.

“For how long? Until he’s in school? Until he’s grown? And what are you doing all this time? Bringing women home?”

“No,” he dismissed flatly and cast a gaze toward the pool, one that was stark and seemed rather isolated and lonely.

Her heart shook. She willed it to still, not wanting to be affected.
Don’t try to fix him.

“Is there nothing on your side, Jaya? Of what we had before?” he asked quietly.

She caught her breath, plunged into the deep end, sinking and sinking, pressure gathering in her ears and pressing outward in her lungs. Her vision blurred because she forgot to blink.

“What did we have?” she asked in a thin voice, reminding herself that neither of them had been seeking a long term relationship that night. Her motives had been, if not emotionless, at least not as simple as his.

“More chemistry than I’ve ever felt for anyone else, before or since.” His blunt words detonated a terrific blush in her, making her cover her hot cheeks and look anywhere but at him.

“I didn’t mean to behave that way,” she moaned, still embarrassed that once hadn’t been enough. Twice had been decadent self-indulgence. The third time had been outright greed, stolen against the hands of the clock.

“I loved how you behaved,” he said, voice low and taut with sweet memory.

Her heart tripped as he began speaking and stumbled into the dust as she realized it wasn’t a declaration of deep feeling. She was still affected, still transported back to a night when touching a man had seemed the most natural, perfect thing in the world to do.

The glint of masculine interest in his eye sparked a depth of need in her she had worried she’d never feel again.

“Okay, then,” he said in a satisfied growl, his fixed gaze weighted with lazy approval.

“Theo, don’t!” She pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Her history with him, especially their night together, had stolen a lot of power from her darkest memories, but, “Don’t make assumptions about me and sex. Please. Saying I’m attracted to you doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you. It’s not that simple for me. Ever.”

“Hey, I’m not taking anything for granted,” he admonished. “I realize sex could be a hindrance to our working out a good long-term solution. Much as I want to have an affair with you, if we burn out it would have consequences for Zephyr. I get that.”

Did he? Because she hadn’t got that far. All she could think was that she hadn’t expected to have another shot at sharing Theo’s bed and really didn’t know how she felt about climbing into it again, especially long-term. Talk about assumptions. That would create a lot. All her conflicting yes-no signals were firing, making her cautious even as she found herself literally warming to the idea.

“But you have to admit, we’re a good team, Jaya. That’s all Adara and Gideon had going for them when they married. Maybe they had sexual attraction, I don’t know. I would never ask,” he said with a dismissing sweep of his hand and an expression of juvenile repugnance that would have been laughable if her thoughts weren’t exploding like popcorn kernels in oil.

“You and I have as good a base as they had,” he insisted. “Maybe a better one. We know each other a lot better than they did. An affair, living together... Those are too easy to walk away from. Marriage would force us to work out whatever differences came up. Zephyr needs that kind of stability and commitment. Doesn’t he?”

Here was the clarity he’d told her he was capable of. He could see the right course of action even if he didn’t know whether he could perform it. Even when he wasn’t terribly keen to embrace it.

Still, she was half persuaded by his rationale. He was right and talking about it like they were negotiating a merger kept her from being swept away, allowing her to view the situation objectively.

That’s what she told herself anyway, to counter the thick knot of disappointment sitting in her throat.

“Are you hesitating because of what I told you about my father? You’re worried I’ll resort to abuse?”

“No!” she blurted, heartfelt and sincere. Her waffling feelings were more about having her heart suffer from unrequited attraction than worrying about physical harm.

“If that’s what’s worrying you, admit it. I’ll forget the whole thing. I totally understand.” He stood and caught up Zephyr, repositioning him in the middle of the blanket, his movements hiding his face, but she thought she caught a glint of profound hurt. Maybe something else. A sort of hopeless defeat.

“Theo, I don’t think you could hurt me or Zephyr even if you wanted to. If we needed a snakebite carved out of us, you probably couldn’t do it.”

His glance flickered toward her in acknowledgment, colored with ironic humor, but he moved to stand looking through the glass at the pool. He pushed his hands into his pockets, shoulders slumped.

“You’ve been so willing to listen to everything I’ve told you I let myself believe it didn’t matter, but of course it matters. Of course you have to take time to consider what it means and decide whether you can trust me.”