An Illicit Pursuit (12 page)

“Baby, I can’t leave now. I have to deal with
the funeral arrangements.”

“I won’t leave you alone on the toughest day
of your life. I’ll call you when I arrive. I love you. You hear me,
I love you very much.” I end the call before he can object and
settle in front of my computer to book a flight to Denver. Once I
have the print-out of the reservation, I shuffle through the closet
for clean clothes and find a black wool dress to put on. I grab my
purse and a thick, winter coat and take the bus to the airport.

My plane lands a little after twelve,
allowing me enough time to catch the last shuttle bus to downtown.
Despite the biting cold and the dark, I walk the one mile from the
bus station to Zach’s home. My hands shake with both frost and
anxiety when I type the text to Zach.
“I’ll be at your place in
half hour, and I won’t leave without seeing you.”

Zach replies:
“I’ll be waiting for you at
the back door. Love you.”

The streets are deserted, except for a few
cars passing by. Unable to keep my patience under control, I run
the last quarter mile. All I can think of is Zach and how much he
must be hurting. He’d hurt more if he knew what slutty things I was
up to just a few hours ago while I was around Adam.

I don’t deserve Zach. He’s been everything to
me, my family, my best friend, my lover. I swear on the spot I’ll
never allow Adam to get under my skin again. Not just that, I won’t
see him again even though that means I’ll have to cancel the guitar
classes.

I send Zach another text before I knock on
the back door of his home to make sure it’s him and no one else who
gets the door. I hear murmurs and cries from the other side of the
door and glance at the several cars parked in front of the house
and across the street. Must be their relatives who’ve come to give
their condolences.

Zach opens the door and grabs my hand,
hauling me inside. His touch stirs up all my yearning for him,
causing a pang of longing to embrace him. We sneak around into the
backyard and hide between the only tree there and the fence.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I whisper and
slide my arms around his neck, gazing at him. He looks thinner, and
paler, and downright exhausted. Dark circles are shadowing his
beautiful eyes that are now swollen with crying. “I shouldn’t have
left. I shouldn’t have gone back to L.A. I should have stayed here
with you. I’m sorry. Forgive me, my love.” I actually want him to
forgive me for a whole other thing, but I can’t confess that to him
now, when he’s already deeply in pain. I swallow a large sob in an
attempt to keep my emotional turmoil in check.

“There’s nothing to forgive. You’re here in
my arms now. That’s what matters. I love you.” He holds my gaze,
looking unsure of what to do. I can see he’s torn between kissing
me and pulling himself away to avoid any sexual contact to respect
his father’s death. I should chose the higher road and let him
follow the rituals but I can’t. The urgency to be close to him and
be intimate with him is too overwhelming to suppress.

I lick my lips slowly, giving him one last
chance to pull away if the rituals are more important to him. He
doesn’t withdraw; instead he wraps his arms around my waist, dips
his head, and presses his lips against mine. Oh, heaven.

His kiss is what I crave to breathe, to live,
to get inspired. I must be the dumbest girl alive for staying away
from this sweet man for so long. Adam might have some strange
sexual powers over me, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel in
Zach’s arms. I love him, and nothing can overshadow this fact.

I'll take you over anything,

With your sorrow and pain,

With your tears and heartache,

’
Cause you're mine.

His hands slowly roam up and down my back,
his wet lips sucking my lower lip. His yarmulke slips down from his
head, and I run my fingers through the thick curls of his, forcing
him closer to me. Our kiss grows deeper by the second, and I feel
hot tears on his cheeks and rip away from his mouth to kiss his
tears away.

My beautiful man lost his father. I know from
what he’s told me that he was very close to him. My stomach cramps
at the thought of how heartbroken he must be.

“I’ll make you forget the pain,” I whisper
between my kisses, my hands possessively wandering over his
shoulders down to the sides of his arms. I wish I could share his
pain, alleviate this grueling burden from his heart.

“Only you can do it.” He cups my cheeks and
presses his torso against me toward the tree. I notice his erection
through his pants, forcing its way hard against my stomach. His
brown eyes are searching for my reply, glowing with pleas for me to
let him, though there’s really nothing to let. My legs are already
losing their strength with the burning need cursing straight
through my pelvis, and I tighten my hold on Zach, sucking his lips
harder as if I haven’t tasted them for ages.

Although the light from the house is
filtering into the backyard, it’s dark here behind the tree. And no
one will bother to come out in this freezing cold, anyway. Taking
courage from my brief observation, I hesitantly reach down to the
belt of his black slacks, ready to back away in case he protests.
He kisses me back, giving me his silent permission to continue. I
unbuckle the belt, unbutton and unzip his slacks, and slip my hand
inside his boxers to palm his cock. He gasps at the skin contact,
pushing his erection against my hand, and slides his tongue deeply
into my mouth.

We’ve never gotten intimate outside, save for
kissing and some groping, much less a few feet away from his home.
The fear of the possibility of being caught is both unnerving and
thrilling in equal parts, and has me lightheaded on the spot. And,
it’s not just being caught by a random person on the street, but by
Zach’s very religious mother, who’s grieving for her dead husband.
It’s official now; I’m the reincarnation of the evil snake in the
Garden of Eden for giving Zach a hand job fresh after his father’s
death.

Only, Zach doesn’t seem to be willing to
settle for a hand job, because his hand is moving down over my
belly to between my legs, setting off wildfires on my skin in its
wake. “I want you,” he whispers to my mouth. “I want to feel
you.”

I freeze in place, working hard to school my
thoughts away from my hot and slick sex and even harder to voice
one of the thousand reasons to show him how wrong it’d be, while
his hand cups my crotch over the skirt of my dress. “We
shouldn’t—”

“I need you.”

“I’m here, baby.” I start to lean down to
take him into my mouth. He never says no to a blow job, but he
grabs my chin and pulls me up for a hasty kiss. I can feel from the
urgency of his lips wrapping around mine that his isn’t the
physical need to release himself, but the spiritual one to meet me
in that special point of bliss and elevation.

Where no grief exists. Just him and me.

Grinding his cock into my palm, he yanks my
skirt up, strokes my thighs up to my panties. “I want to be in
you.”

He’s serious, and I can’t find it in me to
refuse him. Sex has always worked as a road to recovery for us; for
my over-eating addiction and for his self-esteem issues. Why
shouldn’t we utilize our beloved method to alleviate his sorrow
now, on the day of his father’s death, too? Without waiting, he
grips my leg and wraps it around his hip, and with the other hand,
he slides my panties aside and runs his fingers alongside my wet
folds. Being pushy is so unlike him, though I can’t say I’m not
enjoying it. I’ve been craving to be touched down there since the
last time we had sex, and that was three days ago.

“Are you sure? Someone could see us,” I say,
though I’m panting with desperate need to release the tension his
fingers are mercilessly building inside me.

“I want you, baby. I want you right now,
right here.”

He frees his penis from my hold and eases it
into my body. I bite my lips to hold down a moan and lean my head
back against the tree, my eyes rolled back in their sockets.

My heart knows you’re mine, though nobody
agrees.

My body is complete with yours only.

Every minute I spend without you is a battle
to keep it together.

“You feel so good. Take me; take all of me
inside of you.” He forces the last inches with force, tearing a
lust-filled moan from the back of my throat. His lips instantly
cover mine to silence me as he thrusts in and out.

My hands sneak under his pullover, itching
with the desire to feel the heat of his torso, my fingers
scratching his smooth skin. His prick is setting my insides on fire
as though I wasn’t already melting with the need to be his again.
My breasts are begging for his touch, my nipples stiff beneath my
bra.

I want to strip down and get him naked, too,
to feel everything of him without any barrier, but that has to wait
for another time. We might be too hot with the adrenaline, but the
cold will definitely take us down if we lose our clothes. Not to
forget the possibility of the sheer embarrassment of being caught
fully naked.

He rips his lips away from mine and stops his
thrusts on the spot. “Do you love me?”

Not the question I was expecting to hear.
Does he doubt my love for him? Is he suspecting my depraved
closeness to another man? A painful sob catches in my throat, and I
don’t know how to push it back. His eyes are sullen with
anticipation for my answer, making me nervous all the more.

“Of course I do. I love you. Only you.” A
shrill moan punctuates my love declaration, when he drives his
prick deep inside me again. My laborious breathing is mixed with
sobs that are now coming out in succession, as if I’m the one who
grieving after a dead family member.

“Am I hurting you?” Zach is staring at me;
his jaw is set, his face twisted with fear.

“No, no. Don’t stop. I’m so close.”

He grips my hips to lift me up, and I lock
both legs around his hips and my arms around his neck like a chain.
He smashes into me, rocking his hips back and forth with faster
moves, his cock delving deeper inside me, as my limbs envelop him
with the new position. I’m nestled snugly between him and the tree,
which is now shaking in synch with us.

His heated thrusts are pushing me inch by
inch toward an exquisitely delectable climax that I’ve been
yearning for days. My eyes close, and I let the developing
vibration take me over and make me explode into thousand pieces
with a wild ecstasy that was unknown to me until now. And all it
took was to show up at Zach’s backyard in the middle of the
night.

“You look so beautiful when you come,” Zach
purrs into my ear, his soft breath stirring up my already
heightened senses. His thrusts are furious now, indicating his
approaching release, and I open my eyes to watch him come apart. He
couldn’t have been more handsome than now with his hair disheveled,
his cheeks and forehead a deep red from the arduous exertion, his
lips swollen with our fuming kisses. He shoots his release deep
into my womb, his arms wrapping me tightly, holding me in
place.

“I love you, Zach.” And I should burn in hell
if I ever speak to Adam again.

He leans his forehead against mine, inhaling
a long breath. “I love you, too. More than you can ever imagine.”
Slowly, he eases out of me, setting me back on my feet.

The drops of warm sperm spilling between my
thighs turn cold before they can even reach my knees, and soon my
body begins to shiver with chill. Shoot, I’ll be lucky if I make it
back to L.A. before coming down with a severe case of flu.

Zach quickly pulls his pants up, snatches his
yarmulke off the ground, and places it back on his head, while I
straighten my skirt and button up my coat.

“Come here.” He wraps his arms around me like
an additional coat. “I’ll drive you home.”

I move my head back to look up at his face.
“But, it’s Shabbat and you father…”

“Baby, don’t speak as if we hadn’t just had
sex.” A shy smile breaks through his lips, catching me off guard. I
lift my hand to brush them with my thumb to make sure my eyes
aren’t fooling me. I had expected everything, even having sex with
him, but a smile. My heart swells with pride for being able to make
his face shine again, though only for a brief second.

“I don’t want you to break more rules. I can
walk home.”

He folds my hand inside his and kisses my
fingers. “I’ll break the biggest of the rules, if I cause you to
get sick. Besides, you’ve come all this way for me. That’s the
least I can do.” He pulls me to himself for a snug hug, making me
lose all my logic. I circle my arms around his waist, under his
pullover, willing some of the heat of his body into mine.

There, in the middle of my after-sex cuddling
with my man, I see a shadow moving across the backyard. I squint to
see what it is and freeze at my place when I notice it’s no other
than Zach’s mother.

Zach’s grieving, rigidly religious
mother!

She’s staring at our direction, but I don’t
know how much of us she can see, or if she can see us at all, since
we’re mostly covered by the tree. She stays there, motionless for a
while, then runs back to her home. I can’t help but feel she saw us
and not just now innocently embracing each other, but a minute ago
screwing each other like wild animals out in the open. As if her
husband’s loss isn’t trauma enough for the poor woman, she had to
witness his son having sex with a girl!

Fantastic, just fantastic.

If she had any tiny positive feelings for me,
they must now be plagued with the disgusting images of me causing
his son to sin.

“What is it?” Zach pulls away. “You look like
you’ve seen a ghost.”

I might have just seen one.
“Nothing.
Just tired.”

“Let’s go, then.”