An Inconvenient Trilogy (46 page)

Chapter 5

Alfred sent off a letter straight away. He was not about to let Laura put herself at risk, but he did realise that the next few days would feel like an eternity. It had been hard enough to keep away from her when he had been working undercover in the Baron’s household, but in his own rooms, it would be harder still. He would have to keep reminding himself that she was heavy with another man’s child.

He managed to convince his landlady that he was ill and sent round a note to his workplace, to say that he was not well enough to be at work. Once everything was in place all they could do was wait.

Food was still provided for by Mrs Edwards, although it had to be split between two. Alfred tried not to dwell on what she thought when he returned every plate empty, while at the same time complaining that he could barely move due to illness.

Laura busied herself as best she could, but there were few books and even fewer that would interest her. Alfred unsurprisingly did not collect novels. She tried to move around as much as she could, but although the rooms were spacious for a man of Alfred’s means, in reality the space was limited. The first day seemed to last an age.

As the evening closed in, Laura sighed, flopping herself on the sofa. “How long do you think it will take to receive a reply?”

Alfred smiled, it was the fourth time she had asked in the last hour. “It depends where they are. It could be days.”

“I will be in Bedlam before then!” Laura said dramatically.

“I will go out tonight and see if I can gather anything that will distract us,” Alfred said.

“Can I come?” Laura asked eagerly.

“Walking the streets of London, at night, when someone is looking to kill you is a wise plan of action, is it?” Alfred asked sarcastically.

“But I’ll be with you,” Laura responded.

Alfred paused before speaking, her words had flattered him, in that she had so much faith in him. “It is not safe Laura,” he said gently. “I will bring what I can.”

Alfred left the house when everything had gone quiet. He was used to coming and going without making a sound, so no one in the other rooms was disturbed. He checked the area once he was outside. He was fairly sure that Laura had not been followed, but it was better to be safe than sorry. He only left when he was sure that Laura would be secure.

He wandered the streets, enjoying the fact of being outside, even if the air was humid. He was not used to being inside so much, so he picked up his pace and burned off some energy before becoming focussed on his tasks.

He visited numerous establishments. Some parts of London never closed, if you knew where to go. He obtained everything he needed and returned to his rooms, being careful to double back and make sure he was not being followed.

He crept in the room and immediately knew that Laura was asleep. There was a stillness to the air that only occurred when everyone in a place was at rest. He had learned to recognise the different atmospheres in a building as part of his training for his job. He placed all his packages in the side room and settled on the sofa. It was going to be an uncomfortable night.

Laura woke as first light entered the room. She had not closed the curtains, for fear of being seen near the window. She lay in the sunlight, slowly going through the previous day’s events. She stretched and climbed out of bed. She had hung her dress as best she could, to try and get the creases to drop out, but it would not be many days before she looked like a waif off the streets.

She entered the drawing room and stopped at the sight of Alfred lying on the sofa. He looked uncomfortable and she felt guilty at preventing him from having his own bed. She moved slowly across the room, but even though she had been careful, Alfred awoke at her movements.

“Good morning,” he said groggily, sitting up and rubbing his hands over his face.

“You look awful,” Laura said with sympathy.

“It will help me to be more believable then,” Alfred croaked. “There are books on the table that you may be interested in.”

Laura picked up the books in wonder. Novels! He had chosen well, Fanny Burney, Maria Edgeworth, in addition to some by unnamed authors, plus books of poetry, Byron, Wordsworth and Shelley. He had also managed to obtain some periodicals. At least the second day would not seem as long as the first one had.

“I’ve also got more food and drink. It isn’t hot, but I think it would be more convincing if I sent some of my dishes back with some food remaining on them to Mrs Edwards. She is more likely to believe that I am ill, that way,” Alfred said.

“Yes, but her cooking is so good,” Laura said longingly.

Alfred smiled, “Control yourself, woman!”

Laura tutted at his cheek and walked into the side room. The worktop was covered in bread, cheeses, hams and cold pie. There were also flagons of small beer. “You have been busy, I’m surprised you managed to carry all this home,” she said with approval. “Are you preparing for a siege?”

“We don’t know how long we will need to remain here, so thought it was best to keep the need to leave my rooms at a minimum,” Alfred said, entering the room and tearing off a piece of bread.

“I was hoping that you would receive a reply today,” Laura said, her buoyant mood fading a little.

Alfred smiled, “Lord and Lady Halkyn are possibly still away after their wedding, it could be a few days.”

Laura settled herself down and read for the morning. She hid in the side room whenever Mrs Edwards knocked on the door to deliver food. Alfred always asked her to leave it outside the room, his excuse being that he did not wish his landlady to catch whatever malady he had.

In the afternoon, she became unsettled again. She was not used to being so confined. Even at Baron Kersal’s she had the days to herself, as gentlemen usually spent the days with their families. They only visited during the evenings when they wanted to explore the seedier side of life with the women of the night.

Laura started to pace around the room. Alfred watched her for a while without speaking. She had left her hair down and she looked every bit the trapped tigress as she prowled around his drawing room.

“Would you like a game of cards?” Alfred asked, trying to divert them both. He did not like the way his body still reacted to Laura, even though she was with child.

“I suppose so,” Laura said, sitting opposite him.

“Your enthusiasm is heart-warming,” Alfred said drily.

“I’m not very good company, am I?” Laura asked with a smile. “I am grateful for what you are doing you know, even though I may not sound like I am.”

“Anyone would have helped you,” Alfred said, brushing off the compliment.

“No, I know a lot of people, although few of them well,” Laura said, picking up the cards that Alfred had dealt. “But there was only you that I knew I could trust.”

“Dependable Alfred eh? Doesn’t sound like much of a recommendation,” Alfred said with a grimace.

“Believe me, it is the highest recommendation I could ever give someone,” Laura said with feeling. “Anyway, you get your excitement from your job, I would have thought that you would want a quiet life when you return home.”

“I do,” Alfred responded truthfully.

Laura looked at her protector. “You are a man of many faces aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” Alfred asked. He did not particularly like the focus of attention being on himself, but he did wish to know what Laura thought of him.

“You obviously are very good at your job and enjoy the dangerous aspect of it,” Laura responded, seeming to study Alfred as she spoke. “But you are also very considerate. You’re helping me when you could have sent me on my way, even though it is inconveniencing you and maybe even putting you in danger. You are also very gentle.”

“Gentle?” Alfred spluttered. “I’ve never been called that before.”

“You were gentle with me in Baron Kersal’s house,” Laura said, pleased that she had made the controlled Alfred look uncomfortable.

“That was in the past,” Alfred said, not wishing to be reminded of one of the best nights of his life, even if it had been spent in the arms of a woman he had paid for. “Your turn,” he said, trying to draw Laura back to the game of cards.

They played game after game until the evening drew in and they needed to light candles. Laura set out some food and they sat comfortably on the sofa next to each other. They munched quietly for a while, before Laura placed down her plate, content for a while.

“So what do your family think of your job?” She asked.

“They don’t know,” Alfred said with a shrug.

“What?” Laura responded in surprise. “How would they feel if something happened to you and they hadn’t even known that you worked for Bow Street?” She knew how she would feel if anything had happened to him, and she knew what his job was.

“They would probably think that I had got the end that I deserved,” Alfred said, his brow furrowing.

“No!” Laura exclaimed in surprise. “How could someone think that of you? You are the most decent person I have ever known,” she said forcefully.

“Well I pity you,” Alfred said with genuine feeling. “You have seen me three times Laura, you know nothing about me, don’t fool yourself into thinking that you do.”

Laura reached over and cupped his cheek with her hand. She could feel the stubble that was developing as the day reached its close. “I’ve had to have the ability to read people quickly and although I admit that I have only been in your company a few times, I know this for a certainty Alfred, you are a decent man, so you can stop trying to convince me otherwise.”

Alfred closed his eyes for a second, enjoying her touch, before collecting himself and moving away from her hand. “You know nothing, Laura,” he said quietly and moved away from her.

Laura remained seated and watched as Alfred kicked at the cinders in the hearth. She wondered about the man standing before her, admitting that it was true that she knew very little about him. She was sure that her conviction was right though, he was a good man. Whatever secrets he hid, they had not corrupted him as they could have done, and he was risking his life every day to keep others safe.

Alfred cursed to himself as he stood, glaring down at the fire. He should never have let her into his rooms. She was a danger to him, because despite everything, he wanted her. Since meeting Laura, he had dreamed of a life that was beyond his reach, one in which he was a husband, had a wife with fiery red hair and they lived a decent life. Not one that virtually guaranteed that neither would reach old age, accepting that both had done things in the past that would make decent people shudder. She made him want what he could never have, and he cursed her for it.  

Chapter 6

Neither Alfred nor Laura spoke until it was time to retire to bed. Both had been engrossed in their own private thoughts. Laura was the first to break the silence. “I didn’t know that doing nothing all day could be so exhausting,” she said with a yawn and a stretch.

Alfred smiled slightly, “Yes, the jobs where I am observing, leave me shattered at the end of my duty and very often I haven’t moved. Take the bed and I will see you in the morning.”

“You can’t sleep on this sofa again,” Laura said, standing up. “It’s barely comfortable to sit on all day, it must be a nightmare to sleep on it.”

Alfred did not know whether to laugh or to be annoyed. “It’s not very polite to criticise the standard of your sanctuary.”

Laura grinned, “Is it a criticism, or is it that I’m speaking the truth?”

Alfred smirked, “Well whatever it is, the sofa is going to be my bed.”

“Why are you being so prudish?” Laura asked, “You weren’t the last time we met.”

Alfred scowled at the woman stood before him. Damn her for constantly reminding him of that last time. “Yes, but things have changed slightly since then, haven’t they?” he responded, making the glance at her swollen stomach, a pointed look.

Laura flushed, “I wasn’t offering you anything more than a comfortable bed!” she snapped, embarrassed and hurt at Alfred’s harshness. “We have shared a bed before, why not have a comfortable night’s sleep? Neither of us is an innocent.”

He had hurt her and he was sorry the way he made snide comments to her about her condition. He was not being fair, he knew that. The problem was though, that it was a constant reminder to him that she had been with other men. He knew that it was unreasonable for him to react to her in such a way, it was a consequence of her job, but he could not stop himself. He had not been with another woman since he had first met her, no one had drawn him like she had.

Her words were sensible though. They need not be impractical, and there was not any reason why they should not share a bed. “Fine, as long as you truly don’t mind and promise not to take up the whole of the bed,” he muttered trying to lighten the mood.

Laura recovered quickly from her mortification and responded to Alfred in kind. “You are a sliver of a man, you shouldn’t need more than a corner anyway. There isn’t an ounce of meat on you.”

“There won’t be, what with needing to starve myself while pretending that I’m ill,” Alfred said, smacking her on the backside as she walked into the bedchamber. “Take up too much room and I’ll push you onto the floor.”

“Don’t ever go undercover as a gentleman, you would be useless at it,” Laura responded, looking over her shoulder.

They continued to banter until they were under the covers. Both had kept some clothing on, Laura, her chemise and Alfred had his breeches. Although it was the right decision to share the bed, there was obviously no use in putting too much temptation in each other’s way.

Alfred was disturbed from a dreamless sleep by small moans coming from Laura. At first he had thought that there must be something wrong with the baby, but it soon became apparent that she was having a bad dream. It was no surprise really, Alfred thought to himself. If he knew that someone was determined to kill him, he was not sure that he would rest easy.

He tried to shake Laura gently, but it only succeeded in making her more disturbed. Alfred groaned to himself, he could not leave her upset, so he started to stroke her face gently, whispering her name. It was a few moments before she slowly opened her eyes, almost as if she was frightened to do so.

“Alfred?” she asked, seeing his face close to hers. “What’s wrong?”

“Shh,” came the soothing voice. “You were having a nightmare.”

“I couldn’t reach you in time,” Laura said quietly, she looked afraid and vulnerable.

“I’m here, nothing is going to happen,” Alfred said, taking Laura into his arms and holding her close. “Go back to sleep, all is well.”

*

Laura awoke to the sensation of feeling wrapped up and secure. Alfred’s arms were holding her tightly as he slept, his body folded around hers from behind. She remembered being woken up during her nightmare and smiled to herself. He could say what he wished, but his actions proved even further that he was a decent man.

She lay perfectly still, this was the place where she wanted to be. If only it could last, if only it was happening for a different reason.

Alfred moaned in his sleep and moved his hand, it brushed her breast and he squeezed it, half asleep. Laura remained still, his touch made her insides stir, but she dared not move in case she woke Alfred. Laura knew the second he reached consciousness, because his hand stilled before moving carefully away from her. He withdrew and sat up on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hands through his hair and over his face.

“Morning,” Laura said, turning over to face his back and stretching.

“Laura…,” Alfred started.

“Don’t say anything, it was a nice way to wake up,” she said rubbing her hand gently across his back. Alfred turned slightly and looked at her. Laura smiled at him in reassurance. “Well I thought it was, anyway,” she said with a wink.

Alfred stood and laughed at her, the seriousness of his mood gone. “You will be the death of me woman, I hope Lord Halkyn replies soon.”

Laura remained on the bed until Alfred had washed and dressed. She had mixed feelings, she knew that they could not remain as they were indefinitely, but she could not deny that being so close with Alfred was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

During the day, Laura kept up the banter. She had decided that Alfred was far too serious for his own good and although she was in a precarious situation, humour had always got her through such situations before. So she teased and tormented him at every opportunity. She also touched him whenever she could. Each time it could be excused as accidental, but she used every opportunity to her advantage. The truth was that since she had woken up in his arms, she had wanted him.

Alfred was being driven to distraction, although he felt a little like a moth drawn to a flame. She was being funny, teasing, annoying, and oh so tempting. He could almost scream with frustration as she brushed against him again and again. The problem was, it was all done with so much humour and fun that he could not chastise her. He had never smiled as much in his life as he did that day, and his cheeks ached because of it. He was usually so serious and steady, able to keep his emotions in check, except when he was around Laura.

Late on in the afternoon she punched him as a response to something he had said and he grabbed her arm. “You aren’t being very nice to your rescuer,” Alfred responded, holding onto her arm at the wrist.

Laura used the contact to roll herself into his arms. “I can be nice if my rescuer wishes.”

Alfred stilled at the movement. He was so tempted, but his conscience would not let him. “Things have changed, Laura,” he said quietly.

“I am still me,” Laura said, seeing the battle going on within Alfred and reaching up with her free hand to brush back his hair gently. “Why not allow yourself to do what you want, and I know you want to, Alfred.”

Alfred closed his eyes, “I can’t Laura,” he said quietly, but firmly. “You are carrying a child, I can’t, no matter how much I may want to.”

Laura blinked back tears, “No matter how much I want you to?” she asked.

“I’m sorry Laura. I can’t,” Alfred responded, moving out of her touch, all the pleasure of the day gone. “I have to ask, would you not receive support from the father if he knew of your predicament? I have presumed not, with you coming to me, but maybe he would offer protection,” Alfred needed to get her away from him before he weakened, which wouldn’t be very long if the days continued the way they had today.

“If I was honest and told the father about the baby, he would not believe me,” Laura said, sitting down and not looking at Alfred.

The pain etched on Laura’s face, tore at Alfred’s insides. She must have thought highly of the father, he thought. He had the sudden need to get some fresh air. “I am going to visit Lord Halkyn’s address and see if there is anything that I can find out,” he said, moving to put on his frock coat. “I shall be back as quickly as I can.”

Laura was left alone, to come to terms with Alfred’s rejection. It was no real surprise that he had turned away from her, a man so steadfast would not want to bed a woman who was heavy with another man’s child. She sighed to herself, if only she could be brave enough to say the words, perhaps he would believe her and everything would be well.

She almost laughed at her foolish thoughts. Believe her? He had made it quite clear that he would not believe her if she told him the truth. People like her did not get happy endings, she had known that from a very early age. If she felt any sorrow, she only had herself to blame. She had never expected to be in contact with Alfred again when she had wished for a part of him. God had granted her wish, but it came with a catch; the father of her child was constantly rejecting her, and had told her clearly that he would not believe a woman of the night if she told him she was pregnant with his child.

The irony that Alfred was not only protecting her, but his own child and would never know that it was his, made her cry until the light outside had completely faded.