An Unexpected Cookbook: The Unofficial Book of Hobbit Cookery

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Authors: Chris-Rachael Oseland

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An Unexpected Cookbook

 

The Unofficial Book of Hobbit Cookery

 

 

 

Chris-Rachael Oseland

 

Copyright 2014 Chris-Rachael Oseland

Cover art by Tom Gordon

Formatting by Polgarus Studio

 

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the author. Exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

 

This book is unofficial and unauthorized. It is not authorized, approved, or licensed by the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien, The Saul Zaentz Company, Middle Earth Enterprises, or New Line Cinemas.

 

First Edition

Dedication

To Anne, the best person I've ever known.

Here's to the next 20 years of friendship.

Acknowledgements and Thanks

This book would not be possible without the literary classics that are
The Hobbit
and
The Lord of the Rings
trilogy. If you've only seen the movies, you are in for an epic delight when you read the books. Many posthumous thanks to J.R.R. Tolkien for creating the fantasy genre as we know it today.

Table of Contents
Introduction: The Shire Pantry

In Tolkien's letters, he makes it clear the Shire was based on a very specific time and place - namely, the English village where he spent much of his childhood in the 1890’s. I’ve done my best to adapt authentic period recipes to fit the very specific limitations Tolkien placed on the Shire. Honestly, it’s a fun challenge. The end result is hearty comfort food inspired as loyally as possible by
The Hobbit
.

 

Country food in the 1890’s bore little resemblance to the city food we associate with wealthy Victorians. While the wealthy would enjoy internationally inspired dishes like Kedgeree for breakfast (a milky fish stir fry made from rice and a tragic, third-hand misunderstanding of curry) their country cousins had to make do with old fashioned staples like bacon, eggs, and toast. For every shudder inducing horror you’ve read about Victorian city cooking, there’s an equally familiar old fashioned farm dish that’s still with us today. That country cooking stuck around because it was delicious.

 

The Shire represented everything Tolkien loved about English country life. After losing all but one of his friends in World War I then living through the horrors of World War II, it’s no surprise he wanted to celebrate and venerate a gentler way of life he saw rapidly disappearing as the world around him grew smaller and bleaker. Instead of technologies to bring people together, Tolkien saw the expansion of trains and later cars as ways for the grimy industrial world to impose itself on peaceful country life.

 

To keep the Shire wholesomely isolated in time and memory, he actively excluded all new world foods except tobacco, coffee, and potatoes, all of which he thoroughly enjoyed.

 

That means no vanilla in baked goods, no chocolate in desserts, and no pineapple (which the Victorians adored). On the savory side, that meant no tomatoes, which were well loved by Victorians, no squash, maize (sweet corn), or common beans, all of which had all become quite entrenched in the everyday English cooking of his day.

 

In addition to excluding new world crops, he also limited influences from further west to what the crusaders brought back with them. There are plenty of references to food made with the popular imported medieval staple spices of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves as well as expensive fruits such as lemons and oranges. But that was where he drew the line. There is no rice in the Shire, much less a nice plate of curry. Instead, the Shire exists in an idealized, purely English world untouched by wars or Empires.

 

Out of respect for both the source recipes and the village life Tolkien's Shire evokes, you’ll find quite a few recipes include ways to use the leftovers in future meals. During the 1890’s, when Tolkien was a boy, food cost up to ⅔ of a middle class family’s income. The people he based the Shire on would’ve squeezed every last drop of flavor and use from any scrap of food that came into their possession. There's a creativity applied to repurposing leftovers that's mostly forgotten today.

 

You can feel the love and nostalgia for that hearty country cuisine every time the Hobbits eat. The end result of all that thrifty cleverness is often insanely more delicious than anything you can buy pre-made at your local grocer.

 

That means hearty Hobbit home cooking is limited to these traditional English staples:

 

 

VEGETABLES

 

Potatoes* (his one new world exception)

Carrots

Turnips

Beets

Onions

Garlic

Shallots

Asparagus

Green Beans

Salad Greens

Cucumbers

Lettuces

Radishes

Cabbages

 

GRAINS

 

Wheat

Oats

Barley

FRUITS

 

Apples

Pears

Plums

Apricots

Raisins

Quince

Currants

 

MEATS

 

Mutton or Lamb

Pork

Chicken

Beef

Rabbit

Venison

Fish

 

HERBS

 

Rosemary

Thyme

Parsley

Basil

Dill

Sage

Tarragon

Chervil

Chives

Savory

 

FATS:

 

Butter

Bacon Grease

Lard

Suet

 

In addition, country folk and Hobbits alike would’ve enjoyed epic quantities of fresh butter and white flour in every meal. The Shire is a land of delicious cakes, pies, and breads, all made from things your great-grandmother would’ve considered good, healthy food.

 

Inside these pages you’ll find one chapter for each traditional Hobbit meal. In addition to being based on historic recipes revised to fit Tolkien's specific limitations on the Shire, the dishes have the following themes.

 

  • Breakfast
    - hot, fast, traditional morning food
  • Second Breakfast
    - cold, sturdy pies full of meat, veg and fruit to fuel a small adventure
  • Elevenses
    - a hearty selection of breads to tide you over until Luncheon
  • Luncheon
    - lighter fare appropriate for a pub setting
  • Afternoon Tea
    - sweet biscuits, cakes and buns to accompany a caffeinated pick-me-up
  • Supper
    - a hot meal of meat, veg, and mushrooms with a sweet finish
  • Dinner
    - slow cooked roasts and puddings that take hours to make, but are well worth the wait

 

Whether you want to make an epic dinner fit for a king or bring a little period flair to a geeky gathering, you’ll find something in these pages for every Tolkien fan.

 

In Tolkien's day, ovens were slow to heat and expensive to keep fired up. If you wanted a hot breakfast, you could either get up at 4 am to start stoking the flames or make a simpler dish in a pot or skillet. Even wealthy or upper class families woke to foods like Kedgeree (fish and rice stir fry), poached fruit, and cold cuts of meat left over from the previous night’s supper. Even faster and easier options like fried eggs, sausages, and toasted bread were looked down on as fast, cheap, country fare fit only for farm workers.

 

In keeping with the rustic, egalitarian spirit of the Shire, all these breakfast recipes are (relatively, for the time) fast, affordable dishes you could make in a skillet while waiting for the coffee to brew. Food used to consume up to ? of a family’s budget, so a lot of these historic recipes also include economical ways to repurpose leftovers or stretch out expensive ingredients.

Mushroom and Bacon Hash

Hash is quite possibly the best excuse for not taking a second helping of potatoes at dinner. As leftovers, they take on a whole new, wonderful form the next morning.

 

A nice plate of hash may seem a slow dish for an indulgent weekend morning, but back in Tolkien's day, it was the equivalent of fast food. It may not seem like it to us, but compared to an upper class English breakfast, hash could be whipped up in little time using whatever leftovers you had on hand. Since Hobbits are known to have mushrooms at every meal, throwing a couple handfuls in a pan would add great flavor to this quick morning dish.

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